Читать книгу Newborn Daddy - Judy Christenberry - Страница 11

There hadn’t been much in Emma’s file because she hadn’t had any prenatal care records there. Steve had written a note that he’d requested information from the Buffalo facility.

Emma had reported to the nurses that she’d had gestational diabetes and high blood pressure. Plus, she’d bled too much during delivery and had had to receive a blood transfusion, which had further weakened her.

Susan couldn’t tell him anything else.

Since she again refused his request to see Emma a third time, he gave up and left the hospital—after one more peep at the tiny baby wrapped in pink.

Ryan stood on the hospital steps, staring at the town he’d lived near all his life. But suddenly, everything had changed. What was he going to do?

He couldn’t accept what had happened. He couldn’t pretend to be a happy new father…or an anxious husband. He doubted he would survive risking his heart again. Laced with his mourning for his wife and child had been utter guilt. Though he hadn’t committed a traffic violation, he’d walked away from the accident that killed them.

Many nights he’d crawled into bed wishing he wouldn’t wake up the next morning. That first night he’d slept with Emma had been the only time he’d arisen with satisfaction in his heart, contentment. Then the guilt had tripled. How could he enjoy life again when Merilee and Ryan, Jr. were lost to the world? Creature comforts shouldn’t be a part of his life. He’d chastised himself for three weeks.

Then he’d gone back to the library, unable to stay away, telling himself he and Emma would return to their old relationship, having dinner together. If, that is, she’d even speak to him.

She’d welcomed him as a friend. No questions, no complaints, no expectations. He was amazed. When he’d kissed her again, she’d opened to him. He hadn’t been able to resist.

For two months they’d made love on a regular basis. Each time he’d provided protection, having no intention of creating a child. No intention of a future. He’d condemned himself each time he thought about his behavior. So, he tried not to think, burying his conscience beneath the surface.

Until Emma had talked of a future, a family. Like a sore that had been festering beneath the skin, his conscience had erupted like a volcano, hurting Emma.

She’d already been pregnant.

That thought tore at him each time it came.

So, he still couldn’t contemplate a future. But he could provide for Emma and the baby. He spun on his heels and reentered the hospital, heading straight for the business office.

“Oh, hi, Ryan, can I help you?” a friend of Merilee’s asked. Damn, that was the problem with small towns. You couldn’t swing a cat without hitting someone you knew.

“Yeah. I need to settle Emma Davenport’s bill.”

The woman stared at him. “Why?” His face must’ve reflected his feelings about being questioned. She hurriedly added, “We don’t reveal financial information about patients unless it’s family or they’ve okayed it.”

“I’m the father of her child. I provide for—I’m paying the bill.”

“Oh!” the woman exclaimed and got busy pulling Emma’s record. She gave him the total amount due so far and offered a payment plan.

Ryan pulled out a checkbook. “No. I’ll settle with you now. If there are other charges, please send them to me. You have my address, don’t you?”

“Yes, of course.”

He pressed his lips tightly together before adding, “Anything she wants, make sure she gets it.”

She nodded, still staring at him.

He didn’t wait around to see if she had more questions. Instead, he hurried to his truck. After driving the short distance to Dr. Steve Lambert’s office, he strode in and asked to see the doctor.

“Mercy, Ryan, you sick?” the receptionist asked.

“No, Mrs. McCallister. I want to ask him some questions. Oh, and I need to pay Emma Davenport’s bill.”

He got the same reaction from her as he’d had at the hospital. He knew the town would be rocking with gossip about him by evening.

“Uh, Miss Davenport worked out a payment plan,” Mrs. McCallister said. “She’s already made one payment since she arranged for the doctor to make the delivery.”

“When did she make the arrangements? I understood she was seeing a doctor in Buffalo.”

“She came in two weeks ago.”

Her response made Ryan even more anxious to talk to the doctor. “Give me the total she owes,” he ordered tersely, “plus the cost for today.” He already had his checkbook in hand.

When he’d taken care of that, he sat down in a chair in the waiting room, moodily watching the other patients. Several women were there with small children, and it didn’t take much of an effort to see Emma visiting the office in the future.

Emma and the baby. He didn’t even know the child’s name. But he felt sure Emma had picked one out. She seemed to have prepared for the baby’s arrival in every other way.

A few moments later, the receptionist called his name. “The doctor will see you now.”

Ryan was led into his friend’s office.

Steve stood as he entered and offered his hand. “Hey, pal. Long time no see. What’s up?”

“I want to talk to you about Emma Davenport.”

Steve’s head snapped up and he stared at Ryan. “Why?”

“Because that’s my child you delivered earlier today.”

Steve’s expression didn’t change. “I wondered.”

“I didn’t know until I got to the hospital to see Beth. They brought the baby in with its birth-record card while I was looking at Beth’s little boy.” Ryan wanted Steve to understand that he wouldn’t have abandoned Emma as he had if he’d known.

“Sorry you found out that way. When she first came in, two weeks ago, I asked about the father, but she refused to say anything.”

Ryan wasn’t surprised. In fact, the surprising thing was that she’d put his name on the certificate. But he suddenly remembered her talking about being a throwaway baby, a child no one had wanted. No birth certificate, no parents. He realized Emma wouldn’t do that to her child, even if it would’ve been easier for her.

“Why didn’t she come to you earlier?”

Steve shrugged. “I suppose to hide her pregnancy.”

“Did she really do prenatal care in Buffalo?”

Steve didn’t move, didn’t reach for a file. “You know I’m legally not supposed to tell you about her medical history, don’t you, Ryan?”

“Damn it, I’m the one responsible for her being in the hospital, Steve! I have a right to know.”

“The last I heard, it takes two people to create a baby.”

Ryan leaped to his feet and strode across the small office and back again. “Just tell me what I need to do. Her face has no color at all, and she looks so sad. Are they both all right?”

“The baby is fine.”

Ryan’s heart twisted in pain. “And Emma?”

With a sigh, Steve reached for a file on his desk. “I just got the information faxed from Buffalo. She had gestational diabetes and high blood pressure. The labor was long and hard. Too much bleeding,” he added, a frown on his face. “We had to give her a transfusion.”

“But she’ll be all right?”

Steve continued looking at the chart. Then he looked at Ryan. “They told her to quit work at six months. She was working until an hour before she delivered.”

“Why? Why would she do that? Didn’t she care about her baby?” Ryan knew that didn’t make sense. Emma wasn’t like that.

“I would guess she worked because she needed her job to support herself and the baby.”

“I would’ve—!” Ryan protested. But he broke off. She hadn’t even told him about the baby, much less asked for his help. And he couldn’t blame her. His behavior seven months ago hadn’t offered friendship, let alone marriage. “But you said she’ll be all right?”

“If she gives herself time to recuperate. She’ll probably need some help the first week or two at least. I’d like her to not go back to work for six weeks. But I suspect she’ll refuse my advice.”

“You haven’t told her yet?”

“I haven’t talked to her since the delivery. I’ll check in with her before I go home this evening.”

It was already half past four. Ryan knew Steve was a dedicated doctor, beloved by everyone in town for his selfless efforts on their behalf.

“I’ll hire someone to take care of her,” he said. “She won’t be left alone.”

“Good.”

He stood. “She’ll be released from the hospital in a couple of days?”

“I’ll try to keep her there that long. She told me two weeks ago she wouldn’t be staying more than one night.”

“But she didn’t know then how hard a time she’d have, right?” Ryan, after having seen Emma, wasn’t sure she would even be able to walk in a week’s time, much less care for a newborn.

Steve’s closed expression, as if he didn’t want to discuss anything else, was his only answer. “Look, let me know when she’s getting out and I’ll be there to get her settled in.”

“Ryan, someone checking on her every day won’t be enough. She’s weak and determined to nurse her child. If she accomplishes that, it will be a miracle. Forget cleaning, cooking, bathing the baby. And she’ll need more. She’ll need companionship. I’m seriously worried about her because she seems so alone…so sad.”

Guilt again built in Ryan’s chest. Okay, so he’d paid a few bills. He had the money. It wasn’t much of a sacrifice. But Emma’s sad eyes popped into his head, alongside Beth’s look of joy.

Ryan paced the doctor’s office again, facing a difficult decision. The guilt won out.

“Okay, I’ll take her back to the ranch with me. Billy can do the cooking and cleaning. And I’ll hire one of the cowboys’ wives to stay with her every day until she’s better. Will that do?”

The doctor’s compassionate gaze settled on Ryan’s face. “If that’s the best you can do, I guess so. It’s better than her being on her own.”

Ryan didn’t put much effort into his goodbyes. He wanted away from that look. Away from what he was facing. And he had a lot to do.

Once he reached his truck, he took out his cell phone and called the ranch.

“Billy, drop everything and get ready for two guests.”

“Hi, boss. Your mom and dad coming to see the new grandbaby?”

“Yeah, but they’re staying at Beth’s. Uh, Emma Davenport and her baby are going to recuperate at the ranch.”

Silence followed his announcement. Then Billy said, “Okay. How old is the baby?”

Emma had visited the ranch a few times and had quickly become a favorite with Billy. Her quiet appreciation for his efforts, plus her offers to help, had pleased him.

“Her baby was born today. Give Emma the downstairs bedroom and clean out the little room across the hall. I’ll bring home some baby stuff to go in there. Get help if you need it.”

Ryan didn’t give himself time to think. He hurried to the one department store in town to get whatever he’d need to accommodate the baby. Later, if Emma didn’t want any of it, he could give it to Beth, or keep it for when she, Jack and his namesake visited.

The saleswoman, another hometown friend, eagerly sold him everything ever known to mankind made for a baby. Memory of Emma’s sad eyes had him buying the most gaily-colored items offered. He helped load everything in the back of his truck, ready to head for home.

His stomach growled and he considered stopping for a bite to eat, but that made his thoughts immediately fly to Emma and their dinners. It wasn’t the first time this had happened. In fact, he’d refused to come into town in the afternoons for the past few months.

He slammed into the cab of his truck and drove faster than he should have to reach the safety of the ranch. Soon even the ranch wouldn’t be safe.

Emma and the baby would be there.

Emma was encouraged by the slight increase of strength she felt the next morning. She almost had to crawl to the bathroom in her room, but she made it without calling for help.

The nurse came in just as she left the bathroom and helped her back to bed. Emma couldn’t refuse since she was trembling all over.

“You should’ve called for help,” the nurse chided. “Doctor said you weren’t to get out of bed.”

“I have to get stronger so I can go home today,” Emma said, trying to smile at the woman.

“Lawsy-mercy, after the time you had? Doctor won’t even think of letting you leave today. You could stay in bed for a week and it would still be too early.”

Panic built in Emma, but she tried to hide it. “I don’t need that long. Besides, I can’t afford it, you know. Babies are expensive.”

The nurse gave her a kindly smile. “Oh, you don’t have to worry about that. Ryan took care of everything.”

Thank goodness she was already in the bed, or she would’ve collapsed on the floor. “What did you say?” she demanded, but her voice was faint.

“Uh, I shouldn’t have—I thought it would reassure you. I’m sorry.” The nurse began backing toward the door. “I’ll bring your breakfast.”

As soon as she was alone, Emma reached for the phone beside her bed. When the billing office answered, she demanded to know her balance.

“Your balance is zero, Miss Davenport,” the woman said cheerfully.

“How can that be? I haven’t paid anything.”

“Oh, your baby’s father paid everything. We’re supposed to bill him if there are any other charges. So, you have nothing to worry about.”

Emma hung up the phone without answering. Nothing to worry about. She had put Ryan’s name on the birth certificate because she knew how much that meant to a child later in life. She hadn’t known either her father or her mother’s name. Her child would know.

But she hadn’t done it so Ryan would feel forced to pay for the baby…and her. She’d always known he was a good man. And she’d found out about his wife and son afterwards. As much as his words had hurt her, stunned her, she’d understood.

She should’ve carried out her plan to have the baby in Buffalo, but it was an hour’s drive away, and she’d got frightened that she wouldn’t be able to make the drive by herself.

Seven months ago, she’d even considered giving up the job she loved and moving away then, while she could still have managed. But she hadn’t, because she’d harbored a foolish hope that Ryan would change his mind. That he’d walk back through the doors of the library and ask her out to dinner again.

Foolish, foolish Emma.

With tears in her eyes, she pushed up from the pillow and surveyed her room. Her suitcase was on the floor by the window, still packed, though standing open. Last night the nurse had helped her don her own nightgown. While not fancy, at least it didn’t have gaps down the back, like the hospital gown she had worn.

So, all she’d have to do was make her way to the chair beside her suitcase, get dressed, toss in her nightgown, and leave. Stopping to collect Andrea on the way, of course.

The thought of walking to her car alone was enough to exhaust her. Carrying a suitcase and her baby seemed an impossibility. But she didn’t want Ryan paying any more.

He didn’t want them, either of them.

As she was contemplating what she had to do, the door opened and the nurse entered with a breakfast tray. She raised the head of the bed, then put the tray on the bed table and slid it in front of Emma.

“You’ll feel stronger once you eat your breakfast,” she advised cheerfully. “And Doctor will be in soon to visit with you. He came last night, but you were already asleep and he didn’t want to wake you.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she whispered. She barely remembered him from the delivery, but she’d liked him when she’d visited him two weeks ago to ask him to deliver her baby.

“No problem. He thought you getting some rest was more important than him poking around on you. Actually, you’re doing much better than any of us expected. You were in labor a long time. Why, Beth Kirby came in after you and delivered a couple of hours before you did.”

“Beth’s here? She had her baby?” Emma asked, joy on her face. She’d loved Beth almost as much as Ryan, feeling she’d finally found a sister. “Are she and the baby all right? What did she have?”

“Mercy, if I’d known that information would’ve cheered you up, I’d have told you at once,” the nurse said.

Emma blushed, embarrassed by letting her emotions show. She hoped the nurse didn’t tell Beth she’d been so eager for news. It would shock Ryan’s sister after Emma had rejected her offer of continuing friendship.

“I—I know her.”

“Well, of course you do. She’s your baby’s aunt. She had a little boy, and both are doing just fine. You’ve never seen a prouder daddy than Jack Kirby. He hasn’t left the hospital since they came in except to buy the biggest bouquet of roses in town. These daddies, you know how they…” She broke off abruptly, a stricken look on her face.

Emma knew what had caused her to grow silent. There were no flowers in her room. More importantly, there was no proud father watching his daughter through the nursery window, hovering over the mother’s bed.

“I’m so sorry, I—”

“Don’t worry about it, please. When will you bring my baby to me?”

“After you see the doctor.”

Emma nodded, but she was anxious to hold her baby again. “Then I’d better get started on my breakfast.”

The nurse, still embarrassed, tried to respond in a normal voice. As soon as she made sure Emma had everything she needed, she hurried from the room.

Ryan stood at the nursery window, staring at the pink bundle. The baby hadn’t moved or shown any sign of life since he’d arrived. When a nurse entered the nursery, he rapped on the window and pointed to the baby girl.

The nurse smiled and moved the baby to the front row of the window. Wouldn’t she have noticed if something was wrong? Ryan wanted to be reassured that the baby was breathing.

Just as he decided to knock on the window again, one little baby fist, clenched, moved to the rosebud mouth and the baby made some sucking motions.

Maybe she was kin to him. Dinnertime had always been high on his list. A small smile slipped across his lips, until he heard footsteps in the hallway.

Steve Lambert joined him. “Little miracles, aren’t they?”

“Uh, yeah. I don’t see Beth’s baby.”

“He’s probably in the room having breakfast with his mom.”

“Isn’t Emma—I mean, it—the baby seems hungry.”

“Emma indicated she wanted to breast-feed, but I had them give the baby sugar water until this morning. Emma will probably try today.”

“What did she say when you told her last night she was going to the ranch with me?” That question had filled his mind even as he and Billy set up the nursery last night. He didn’t think she’d easily agree.

“I didn’t talk to her. She was already asleep when I got to her room last night.”

“You were here that late? What happened?”

“An emergency. Barney Landers cut himself and had to have stitches. I got to Emma’s room by seven-thirty. But she’d already had her dinner and gone to sleep. I decided not to wake her. The nurses said she was doing all right. She needed the rest.”

“Are you going to see her now?”

“Yeah. Want to join me? We’ll face her together.”

Ryan would’ve liked to say no. He thought she’d agree with the doctor more easily than she would with him there. But it felt cowardly to hide behind his friend. “Sure,” he agreed and walked down the hall with Steve.

He dreaded every step that brought him closer to Emma.