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CLUB TIMES

For Members’ Eyes Only

An offer Joe Turner can’t refuse!

After a heavy gossip session in the Yellow Rose Café, I’ve made it my mission to nail down Joe Turner to the fine town of Mission Creek. Sure, you can describe his bedroom eyes and broad shoulders until your tongue goes dry, but this won’t be worth beans if he goes back to the Midwest. We know who to contact if we need cement blocks, but that’s only for drastic measures, Mr. Del Brio.

Meanwhile, I’m feeling in the mood for some sunshine. The closest I get is when calling Tyler Murdoch so I can listen to his tales about the hot jungles of Mezcaya. He keeps hanging up on me, thinking that I’m breathing too heavily into the phone. But we know how cold it can get in Texas, and darned if I’m not the only one who has respiratory ailments this time of year.

Nadine Delarue’s bronchitis nearly killed us all.

Let’s welcome Marisa Rodriguez to the fold. We’re happy to have you as a new member of the Lone Star Country Club! And congratulations on snagging one of the hunkiest bachelors in Mission Creek!

Get ready to spring into action at the Lone Star Country Club. We are happy to serve you…Texas-style!