Читать книгу Daddy On Call - Judy Duarte, Judy Duarte - Страница 8

“You told him I died?” Luke’s voice rose above the roar of the waves crashing on the sand.

Leilani didn’t want to discuss the past or defend her decision, but that didn’t appear to be an option right now. “I did what I thought was best at the time.”

He opened his mouth to speak—or maybe to object—then snapped it shut. She imagined him counting to ten, trying to gain control of his temper.

Had he mellowed with age? As a teenager, he’d been quick to react with anger, which often led to physical altercations and, as a result, trouble with teachers or other authority figures.

“You thought my son would be better off thinking I was dead?” he finally asked.

“Back then? Yes.”

“Why?”

“I thought that would be better than knowing his father hadn’t wanted him.”

“What are you talking about? You never even gave me a chance.”

She fingered the napkin in front of her, finding it difficult to look him in the eyes, although, if she had it all to do over again, she’d make the same decision.

Or would she?

It was hard to say. If she’d known that Luke was going to do something positive with his life, she might have contacted him. But there hadn’t been a crystal ball handy.

Obviously Luke was no longer the young man she’d once known. Neither was he the convict she’d imagined he would become. And that made him a complete stranger now.

“You should have told me.” His eyes bored into her, stirring up dissonance about the decision she’d made. “At least you had a way to contact me.”

Yes. And he hadn’t known how to find her. Not without her aunt’s cooperation, which he never would have gotten.

“You may not remember this,” she said, her gaze meeting his. “But one day, I heard a rumor about one of the girls you’d dated.”

Leilani hadn’t been the only teenage girl who found Luke appealing. He’d had a legion of others wanting to go out with him, many of whom had been eager to give themselves to him. And, according to rumor, several had.

“What about her?” he asked.

“Her name was Connie, and she was pregnant. Some of the girls in health class said the baby was yours. When I asked you if it was true, you said no.”

“I was always careful.”

The fact that he hadn’t been careful enough on at least one occasion hovered over them, but neither commented.

“Do you remember what else you told me?” she asked, fingering the rolled edge of the napkin in front of her.

“No.”

“You said, ‘No way. I don’t want kids and would never let that happen.’”

His eyes, green and calculating, locked in on her. “What’s your point?”

“I had every reason to believe you wouldn’t have wanted Danny.”

“You’re right. I didn’t want kids back then. My home life was the pits, and I didn’t harbor any delusions of a better future. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have stepped up to the plate. Nor does it mean I don’t want to be a part of Danny’s life—now that I know he exists.”

“I can understand that.” Her decision had been based upon the knowledge at hand. She’d also been struggling with grief at the time, but she didn’t want to broach that subject or the fact that she still blamed Luke for her little brother’s death—a loss that still haunted her.

Kami would be twenty-six now, out of college and pursuing a career. Maybe he’d even be married.

Instead, thanks to Luke’s recklessness, he was buried on the island of Lanai. And grief still dogged her when she thought about him in that satin-lined casket, his bright-eyed smile gone forever.

Kami had also been her lone connection to her parents, and when he died it was like losing them all over again.

“I wish you would have trusted me to do right by you,” Luke said.

“I was young. Remember?” And she’d also been naive. Raised by conservative grandparents, Leilani had been sheltered and protected until she’d turned seventeen and was sent to San Diego to live with Aunt Addie and finish her senior year.

Talk about culture shock.

She’d done her best to focus on her schoolwork, something that had always been a priority. And she’d managed to maintain a 4.0 grade point average, even though the neighborhood boys were fascinated by her and often found innovative ways in which to interfere with her studies. For the most part, she’d ignored them all—until Luke caught her eye and turned her heart inside out.

“You loved me once,” he said. “At least you said you did.”

She had loved him. But, looking back, she suspected she’d also been enamored by his dark and dangerous edge. Leilani, a good girl in the classic sense, had been drawn to the known troublemaker, giving real credence to the “opposites attract” philosophy.

He’d also been a whiz in science and math and had been able to tutor her in chemistry. And one thing led to another.

In the distance, a seagull cried. She’d always considered it a sad and lonely sound, but found it even more so today.

“I did love you,” she finally admitted.

He reached a hand across the table, placing it over top of hers, stilling the movements of her fingers as they tore at the napkin.

The warmth of his touch shot a shiver of heat through her blood, and the intensity in his gaze sent her heart skittering through her chest.

It was impossible to deny that she was still attracted to him. And in spite of all the choices she’d made in the past and her efforts to distance herself from him emotionally, there remained a connection—their son, a little boy who thought his father was dead and believed his mother valued honesty above all else.

“You need to tell him the truth,” Luke said. “I want to be a part of his life.”

She’d been afraid of that. “It’s a little more complicated than that.”

“Then uncomplicate it.”

“It’s not that easy.”

After Kami’s funeral, Leilani had remained in the islands until it was time to fly to Los Angeles and begin college. But just days before she was to leave, she learned she was going to have Luke’s baby.

The hardest thing she’d ever had to do was to tell her grandparents that she was unwed and pregnant, that she’d failed to listen to their instructions about sexual purity and abstinence. But there’d been no way on God’s earth that she could have slapped them with the ultimate betrayal and admit that the hellion who’d been responsible for Kami’s death was also the father of her illegitimate baby. It would have completely crushed them. So she’d made up a fictitious ex-boyfriend, saying he’d joined the Navy and shipped out to parts unknown.

They’d been terribly disappointed, but when Danny was born, they saw him as a precious gift and were quick to forgive.

“You’ve always been honest,” Luke said. “I can’t imagine you wanting to keep this secret. Not anymore.”

That was the problem. How was she supposed to tell her family—especially her son—that she’d lied? That she wasn’t as honest as she’d led them all to believe?

“I’ll tell him,” she said. “I’ll tell everyone.” And she would. “Just give me some time.”

“How long do you need?”

“I don’t know.” She was a social worker. Problem solving and communications skills came easy to her. So did discussions about understanding and forgiveness. But in this case, she was too involved. Of course, she also had to admit that she wasn’t ready to share Danny with his father yet.

Or to trust Luke to do right by the boy, to keep him safe.

They sat in silence for a while, the only noise the rumbling tide and the occasional cry of a gull. And when the waitress came by with two glasses of ice water and took their orders, Leilani was relieved to have an interruption, a reprieve from her thoughts.

Luke asked for a burger and a beer, while Leilani chose a diet soda. She passed on food, saying she wasn’t hungry, when in truth, she feared it wouldn’t sit well.

When the waitress went inside, Luke broke the silence. “I imagine your pregnancy put a damper on your college plans.”

“For a while. When Danny was two, I registered him at a campus daycare facility, then pursued a degree in social work, as well as my master’s. I had a few connections in the area, so I decided to stay in L.A., where I became a counselor at a battered women’s shelter. You know the rest.”

The hell I do, Luke wanted to snap, followed by a few choice swearwords. He didn’t know jack about the last eleven years of his son’s life. And he didn’t want Leilani to give him an “in a nutshell” version. He wanted to know everything, like what foods he liked to eat. What games he liked to play. Who were his heroes? What did he do for fun?

Luke’s cell phone vibrated, alerting him to a call. If he could have ignored it, he would have. But he needed to check the number on the display to make sure it wasn’t the hospital. They were shorthanded in the E.R. today, and he was on call.

Nothing else was important enough to interrupt this conversation.

Scratch that, he thought, as he recognized Harry Logan’s number. “Excuse me, I have to take this, but I’ll make it quick.”

She nodded, probably relieved to have a break from the hot seat she was sitting in, then took a sip of water.

Luke flipped open the phone and answered. “Hi, Harry. What did you find out?”

The man responsible for turning Luke’s life around had been concerned about his wife’s health, and Luke had been worried, too.

“We just got the biopsy results back,” Harry said, “and that enlarged lymph gland was benign.”

“That’s great, Harry. I couldn’t be happier for you.”

“We’re celebrating by having brunch tomorrow morning,” Harry added. “Kay and I hope you can make it.”

Luke glanced at Leilani, saw her fiddling with the napkin again, fraying the curled edges. Harry and his wife were always hosting barbecues and beach parties. And most of the guys who were referred to as Logan’s Heroes showed up, sometimes bringing guests.

Luke always went stag.

“Are there going to be any kids there?” Luke asked.

“Several,” Harry said. “Why? Do you have any you’d like to bring?”

Yeah. His son.

“Maybe.” Luke looked at Leilani. “I need to talk to his mother and call you back.”

When the line disconnected, Luke returned his cell phone to the clip on his belt. “That was my friend, Harry Logan. He’s the retired detective who took me under his wing and encouraged me to make something out of my life.”

“He sounds like a nice man.”

“He’s the greatest. He’s been like a father to me, and I consider him my best friend. Anyway, he and his wife are having a brunch tomorrow morning, and I’d like to take you and Danny.”