Читать книгу Cowboy Courage - Judy Duarte, Judy Duarte - Страница 11

Laurie wanted to pull away, to place her hands on his broad chest and push him back, but something deep within drew her to him, and she lifted her mouth to reach his.

The kiss began gently, sweetly, his lips tentatively brushing hers. A kiss that promised tenderness and friendship. But suddenly, Laurie wanted more. Needed more. Unable to stop herself, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her. Brazen, maybe, but for a single moment in time, she wanted to feel desired. Whole again.

Reason and good sense begged her to stop, but a bruised and battered feminine ego won out. She needed to know she could stir a man with longing. This man, and right now. In a daring move, she opened her mouth, welcoming his entrance. As their tongues began to mate with a deep, vigorous hunger, Cole pulled Laurie flush against him. She felt the hardness of his erection, sensed the depth of his need.

As the kiss intensified, he ran his hand along the side of her neck, his fingers reaching just inside the edge of the robe. His callused hand against her already tingling skin shot a jolt of heat and desire through her, weakening her knees.

This was crazy, foolish, but she’d never felt like this before. Nor had she imagined a physical reaction or yearning so strong. She leaned into Cole, her fingers splaying in his hair and pulling their lips closer yet.

A moan sounded low in his throat, and she realized they could end up on the floor in no time at all. And for some reason she couldn’t explain, she wanted just that. Hot, fast and furious. Something to keep her mind off her damaged pride and lost dreams.

But Laurie knew she needed more than a wild, passionate one-night stand. Reason finally spoke up, reminding her this man was a stranger, someone she wouldn’t see again. And as much as she would like to escape her emotional pain with physical comfort, lovemaking should be something they both chose to do, not a brash decision meant to temporarily mend a broken heart.

Laurie pulled back, breaking the mind-spinning kiss. And in a ragged, husky whisper, she told him to stop. “I’m sorry,” she said as he released her.

He raked his fingers through his thick, dark hair and stepped back. “No, I’m the one who’s sorry. I don’t want you to think I was trying to take advantage of your vulnerability.”

She shook her head, unwilling to allow him to take the blame for something she knew she had instigated. “I’m the one who took advantage of your kindness by allowing a friendly kiss to get out of hand. I don’t know what got into me. I’m usually very reserved.”

“It’s hard to predict a person’s behavior when they’ve been hurt by the one human being that should be trusted.” He smiled sagely. “After my wife left, I tried to find healing in a physical relationship.”

“Did it help?” She tugged at the gap in her robe and pulled the sash tight.

“Some, but the pain and anger doesn’t ever seem to go away for long. I’m not sure it ever will.”

Laurie knew what he meant. Her own sense of loss and betrayal went far beyond what Daniel had done to her. In a way, she had betrayed herself by not standing up for her beliefs, her own desires. So she nodded at his comment, then reached into the sink, intent on finishing the dishes.

They worked in silence for a while, but as she rinsed the soap from the pan that had warmed canned pork and beans, she decided to offer Cole the same chance to talk as he had provided her. “How long have you been alone?”

“Nearly two years, but I’m not alone.”

Laurie nearly dropped the slick pan back into the sink. Earlier, she had guessed Cole had a woman living here, someone to help keep the place so neat and clean. Men, by nature, she assumed, weren’t tidy and organized when it came to housework. “Who lives with you?”

“Beth.”

Laurie’s heart fell. She’d been so careful not to mention Daniel by name. Keeping his fame and high profile a secret, perhaps, but also trying to keep him a stranger. But the woman who lived with Cole had a name. She was real, and Laurie had kissed her man.

Shame for the intimacy they’d shared squeezed her conscience. She was no better than Denise, Daniel’s lover and Dr. Michael Harper’s wife. Feeling too much like “the other woman” for her own liking, Laurie offered an apology. “I had no idea you were involved with someone. I never would have kissed you like that.”

Cole’s deep-throated laugh eased the tension. “I’m involved all right. Beth is my five-year-old daughter.”

Relief flooded Laurie’s heart, not just because she no longer felt as though she’d been a part of something sordid, but for some reason, she was glad Cole wasn’t involved with a female older than five, even if she did plan to leave as soon as the rain stopped.

The cleanup was quick and easy, but by the time Cole had put away the last of the plates, Laurie yawned. She’d been without sleep for more hours than she could remember and she half expected to crash the moment her head hit the pillow.

“If you want to turn in, I can show you to Beth’s room.”

“Thank you. I’m ready to drop in my tracks.” As Laurie followed Cole out of the kitchen, she tugged at his arm, and he turned. “Can I have a rain check on the hot cocoa?”

He grinned broadly, blue eyes crinkling at the corners. “How about breakfast?”

“Perfect.”

He ushered her down the hall and opened the door to a pink, doll-filled bedroom. “Make yourself comfortable, and I’ll see you in the morning.”

Then he set a candle upon the nightstand and left Laurie alone.

She took a slow, deep breath, appreciating the scent of powder and child, and scanned the pretty room. She walked to the bed and carefully pulled back the pink, ruffled spread.

Someday, you’ll have a room of your own, Laurie. A room filled with dollies and teddy bears. Laurie knew her mother had intended to be a part of that promise, but some dreams never did come true.

And although Laurie did get a room of her own in Aunt Caroline’s home, it wasn’t at all like the one she’d imagined. The bedroom boasted a cream-colored satin spread and mahogany antiques. And as Aunt Caroline had expected, Laurie kept it neat and clean. But oh, how she would have loved a room full of little-girl clutter.

When Laurie climbed into bed, still wearing Cole’s robe, she fell fast asleep, her dreams filled with teddy bears and dollies. Bubble gum and hair ribbons. Slumber parties and high-school dances. Dreams of a young girl who grew to be a happy woman.

And of a blue-eyed cowboy with gentle, callused hands.

She slept well, but in the hours before dawn, her dreams took on a more realistic slant. The city council prepared to cast a critical vote on the homeless shelter she had proposed. Daniel and Denise Harper were getting their stories in line, proud of their cunning deceit. Aunt Caroline was beside herself with worry.

And Dr. Michael Harper needed a friend.

Cole had slept like a herd of wild mustangs had dragged him though a rock quarry. But it hadn’t been the electrical storm that could have put a display of fireworks to shame that disturbed him. Or the pounding rain and roaring wind.

Instead, memories of a passionate kiss he hadn’t wanted to end kept him tossing and turning until dawn. And knowing Laurie Smith slept just a few short steps down the hall hadn’t helped him rest any easier.

Unable to sleep, he’d risen before daybreak. After checking Sugar Foot in the barn, he’d trekked through the mud and rain to see how the other horses had fared. By ten o’clock, he’d already had a shower and drunk a half pot of coffee prepared on the camp stove.

He rubbed the dull ache from the back of his neck and glanced out the kitchen window. Since the rain hadn’t let up, he didn’t need to drive out to Old River Road to know he couldn’t make it to the highway. The road always flooded after a rain like this one. He’d used the cell phone to check on Beth, who was thrilled to be able to stay with the Petersons until the water receded.

“Good morning,” Laurie said as she joined him in the kitchen. She wore the same outfit she’d worn yesterday. Apparently, she’d hung it up to dry. It wasn’t nearly as flattering as the oversized robe, but he still had trouble keeping his eyes off her.

“Good morning,” he said. “How did you sleep?”

She held back a yawn. “Great. I was exhausted.”

For someone who claimed to have slept “great,” she didn’t look rested. He wondered if that fiery kiss they’d shared had affected her as much as it had him.

Maybe not, but then again, she probably hadn’t gone without sex as long as he had. She had, after all, been engaged. To a jerk, of course, but even a cheating fool wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off a woman like her.

She never did say what the guy’s name was, but that was just as well. Cole really didn’t want to know.

“Would you like some coffee?” He nodded toward the back porch where he’d placed the stove and tried to be a good host while steering the conversation away from his carnal thoughts. “I can make fresh.”

“Don’t go to any trouble for me. I’ll just have a half of a cup of whatever you have left.” She glanced to the back porch, apparently noting the aluminum coffee pot resting upon the butane stove. “I take it the electricity is still off.”

“Yeah. The rain should let up some by this evening, so I hope the power will kick back on soon.” He didn’t mention the flooded road. No need to worry her. The water would recede in a day or so. It always did.

“I guess we’re in for another camp-out,” she said, offering a shy, one-dimpled smile.

“Looks that way to me.” He attempted to counter with a smile of his own. “Can I get you anything to make you more comfortable? Toothbrush? Razor?”

She nibbled her bottom lip, then brightened. “Can I borrow one of your old shirts? I have a pair of leggings, but no top I’d feel comfortable wearing.”

“Sure,” he said, trying to imagine the kind of tops she’d brought with her. And wishing she’d wear the robe that had taunted him last night. He couldn’t shake the sensual image and wondered how much of what they’d experienced would be repeated tonight.

Not the kiss, his mind warned him. Laurie Smith would be in and out of his life like this thunderstorm.

And Cole needed more than a quick roll in the hay, no matter how dynamic it promised to be. He had a strong sense of morality. And a one-rainy-night stand wasn’t something he wanted or needed.

But a growing case of lust argued otherwise.

After a lunch of sliced cheese, apples and crackers, Laurie spent a lazy afternoon curled up on the sofa, reading a murder mystery she’d found on a bookshelf near the fireplace. The room, darkened by storm clouds that hid a setting sun, gave a somber and somewhat eerie ambiance to the story.

Several times she had to remind herself that she was safe within the warmth of Cole McAdams’s home. Closing the book’s cover, she let it rest upon her lap as she scanned the room. Unlike the estate she and Daniel had leased, this house had a personality of its own. Even without electricity, Laurie rather enjoyed the semi-rugged living conditions. She wished the peaceful exile would last forever, but knew it wouldn’t.

Soon, when she had pondered her choices and prepared to live with the consequences of her decision, she would return to California. But she had more to consider than her feelings about a disappointing relationship. As far as she was concerned, her engagement was over. That choice had been made when she learned of Daniel’s affair with Denise, but her concerns ran much deeper than Daniel Walker. For, she had also left El Corazón de los Angeles, the Heart of the Angels, a foundation she had developed.

Laurie had fought long and hard to create a homeless shelter in the inner city of Los Angeles. She’d found an old, abandoned warehouse that she was convinced could be brought up to code and transformed into a temporary shelter for single mothers and their children. A place where women could receive job counseling, and their children could be tutored. Where defeated spirits could find hope and pride.

It was a dream she’d worked hard to transform to reality, a dream based on her own early years. Looking back, Laurie knew life had been tough and frightening, at least for her mom. But a mother’s love could blind a child to the harsh realities life presented. Laurie wanted to save other women and children from the same cruel fate. Interestingly enough, Aunt Caroline had encouraged her involvement. It had been the first time Laurie and the older woman had agreed.

Daniel had promised his support of the project by helping to secure the proper zoning and approval. But now, Laurie no longer wanted Daniel’s involvement. His deception only marred her dream. What else had he hidden from her?

Earlier this morning, when she reached into the canvas tote for her makeup bag, she’d found the yellow envelope that belonged to Daniel. She’d nearly opened it then, but had thought better of it.

She’d almost convinced herself that it was because the envelope didn’t belong to her. But she suspected the real reason was that she needed to distance herself from her troubles for a while, to clear her head and her heart.

Obviously, Daniel had intended to use her and their marriage to hide an ongoing affair with a married woman. His political ambitions didn’t stop at the state senate, and the resulting publicity from his role in breaking up the marriage of a prominent surgeon would thwart his campaign efforts.

She had more to consider than just her own pride. Did she wait until the zoning for El Corazón had been decided? And what would Aunt Caroline say? Her aunt adored Daniel and was one of his biggest supporters.

She tried to call home around noon, just to tell her aunt not to worry, but Cole’s phone was dead. And the battery of her cell phone had long since lost power.

Still, she knew exactly what her aunt would say. The election was only weeks away, and Aunt Caroline would undoubtedly instruct Laurie to apologize to Daniel for running off as she had. She’d suggest Laurie beg to be forgiven and be allowed a second chance to become the wife of a state senator. Then, of course, Laurie would be advised to bite her tongue and close her eyes while Daniel continued an affair with Denise Harper. But Laurie wouldn’t do that, no matter how much she owed her aunt.

And unfortunately, Laurie owed Caroline Taylor a lot.

Fifteen years ago, a drunk driver had run a stop sign and crashed into Laurie’s mother’s car, killing her instantly. A social worker had picked Laurie up from school that day, placing her in foster care, leaving her dependent upon strangers for food, shelter and comfort. The loneliness had been almost unbearable. Then, one day a caseworker had told her she was going home to California to live with her mother’s wealthy older sister and would ride on a real airplane.

When Laurie had first entered Aunt Caroline’s sprawling estate on a hill in Bel Aire, she’d met her mother’s sister for the first time. Caroline Taylor had a cool, overbearing manner, but the straitlaced matron tried to welcome the lonely, frightened eight-year-old home. Yet for some reason, Laurie had never been able to completely shake the feeling of being orphaned. Nor could she seem to rid herself of the need to be accommodating and easygoing, in hopes that she would somehow fit in and always be allowed to stay.

Now Laurie wasn’t sure who she was—what she felt or needed, but she did know one thing for certain. When she returned to California, she darn sure wouldn’t be mild-mannered and accommodating.

“How about something to drink before dinner?” Cole’s voice called from the doorway.

Glad to have a respite from her reverie, Laurie searched for a smile. “Sure. What do you have in mind?”

He leaned against the doorjamb, a thumb tucked into the front pocket of his jeans. His dark hair curled upon the open collar of a white shirt. Cole McAdams wasn’t at all polished like the men in her elite circle, but he bore a rugged, masculine appeal lacking in those men who wore Armani suits.

He flashed her a charming smile. “I’ve got wine, beer and apple juice in one of those little boxes with a straw.”

It was the most casual announcement of the cocktail hour she’d ever heard. “Actually, a glass of wine sounds nice.”

“White or red?”

“Either.”

“I’ll open a bottle. Then we can decide what we want for dinner.”

Two hours later, Cole and Laurie sat around the coffee table, munching on grilled cheese sandwiches. A blazing fireplace bathed the room in an intimate glow, and a nearly empty bottle of merlot rested between them.

Country and western tunes played softly from a battery-operated boom box Cole had set up in the corner. Although Laurie would have never guessed it could happen, she found herself growing accustomed to upbeat fiddles, lazy guitars and the down-home stories set to song.

“You look like you’re either enjoying the music or reminiscing.”

Laurie glanced up and grinned at the handsome cowboy beside her. “Both, I suppose.”

“When I first saw you at the filling station, I never figured you for a country and western fan.”

“I wasn’t.” Laurie uncrossed her cramped legs and stretched them out in front of her. “But there’s something real and appealing about the words and music, don’t you think?”

His eyes sparkled, and he flashed her a crooked grin. “I play the fiddle in a band on Friday nights down at the Long Shot.”

“No kidding?”

He shrugged. “Believe it or not, I can actually play classical violin, but there aren’t too many orchestras in this part of Texas.”

Envisioning Cole playing the fiddle in a honky-tonk band was surprising enough, but the violin? “That’s amazing.”

“What’s amazing? That a cowboy like me can play a musical instrument?”

“Not at all. Your complexity intrigues me.”

“I don’t know why. You’re not a simple person, yourself.”

“No, I don’t suppose I am.” She glanced out the darkened patio window.

“What talents do you hide?” he asked, apparently not willing to let her dismiss a discussion of herself.

“Talents?” She sighed, not really sure she had any she could honestly claim. “I play piano, although I disliked the regimented lessons.” She caught him eyeing her intently, and she smiled. “Maybe I should have had violin lessons so I could play bluegrass or country whenever I want a change from classical.”

Dark brows furrowed. “The instrument shouldn’t stop you from playing from the heart. Have you ever played a keyboard?”

“No, I’ve never even seen one up close.”

“Maybe you need to loosen up some.”

“Maybe I do.”

He studied her for a while, his gaze seeming to penetrate layers of her facade. She wanted to ask what he saw, but thought better of it. She certainly didn’t want him to think she was that unfamiliar with herself.

“What other abilities do you have?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I had always wanted to be a doctor.” She smiled wistfully. “But my aunt put a damper on that.”

He cocked his head to the side. “How?”

“She had a fit when she found out I’d had a double major.”

“I’d think she would have been proud of your diligence. Having two majors is a lot of work.”

“I majored in liberal studies to please her. The biology was something I wanted for myself. She found out when I made the dean’s list in my pre-med courses and they sent a letter home to congratulate me.”

“She wasn’t happy?”

“She told me I was foolish.” Laurie blew out a sigh and placed her elbows on the coffee table, all of her aunt’s lectures on manners forgotten. “I’ve gone along with everything she’s ever wanted, but dropping out of the medical program is the only thing I actually regret acquiescing to.”

Cole slowly stood and made his way toward a carved oak bar near the kitchen. After opening another bottle of wine, he returned and filled both glasses.

Usually, Laurie didn’t drink more than a glass or two of wine at a time, but this evening had been pleasant and relaxing. And she wasn’t ready for it to end.

“Why don’t you go back to school?” he asked.

The question came as a surprise, yet she had to admit it seemed logical. God knew how much she wanted to. She and Michael Harper had discussed medicine and his practice until the wee hours of the morning, often to the exclusion of Daniel and Denise. Of course, now that she knew of their affair, she understood why neither of them complained. And why they’d always stepped outside together for a walk or a cigarette. What a fool she’d been.

“Is there a reason you don’t want to go back to school?” he asked again.

Laurie glanced up from her introspection, surprised at the simple logic. “No. I suppose there isn’t.”

She really didn’t want to think about medicine right now. It made her think of Dr. Michael Harper, and the normal chain of thoughts ultimately led to Daniel and Denise. As far as Laurie was concerned, those memories didn’t belong in Texas. She turned her attention to the song playing on the all-night radio station.

“Did that guy just say he likes his women a little on the trashy side?” Laurie asked, unable to believe what she was hearing.

Cole grinned. “Yeah, when they wear their clothes too tight, and their hair is dyed.”

Laurie chuckled. “Is that the kind of women cowboys find appealing?”

He stopped smiling, and Laurie realized he might not have known she was only teasing him.

“How do you like your women, Cole?” The minute the words were out, she realized how much like a sexual tease they sounded. Yet she hadn’t meant it that way. She just wanted to… Good grief, she wasn’t sure what she meant to do.

He studied her intently. If he’d taken her comment as light-heartedly as she’d meant it to be, he didn’t give her that impression at all. “I like them on the loving side.”

The room was heavy with feelings shared. Something in his eyes drew her to him, something she could feel. Admiration maybe, but attraction for sure.

They both sat on the floor, facing each other. Laurie, legs folded Indian-style, rested her arms on the coffee table. Cole, legs extended and crossed at the ankles, leaned back, hands braced at his sides. Desire stilled the conversation.

Outside, the rain had softened to a light whisper. Inside, a slow fire continued to flicker and crackle upon oak logs in the fireplace. But it was the storm raging in her soul that concerned Laurie the most.

When an old country love song began to play, Cole slowly rose to his feet and extended a hand to her. “Dance with me.”

She shouldn’t get too close. Touch him. Hold him. She didn’t trust the strength of her own desire. God knew she didn’t need any complications in her life right now. She had to return to California. Soon. But she didn’t have to go anywhere tonight.

As though mesmerized by something in the depth of those blue eyes, Laurie stood and stepped into Cole’s open arms. They fit together perfectly, and swayed in time to the slow, gentle beat of one sweet moment in time.

One hand held hers against his chest, while the other warmed the small of her back and gently pressed her against him.

Laurie rested her head against his cheek, feeling his soft, warm breath upon her neck. She took a deep breath, savoring the scent of nature, musk and man. Closing her eyes, blending into the music playing softly on the radio, she lost herself in thoughts of love and forever. Of magic and dreams.

It was the merlot, she told herself. And the love song. Their hearts beat softly in time with the romantic, soul-stirring ballad. And once again, she blamed too much wine for the stirring in the pit of her stomach, the warmth in her heart.

The wine and the music increased her awareness of his male scent, caused her nipples to tingle against the broad expanse of his chest, her hips to press closer to his.

But try as she might, Laurie couldn’t still the small voice that whispered she was lying to herself. The wine and music had little to do with the intoxicating magic she felt in this cowboy’s arms.

Cole closed his eyes, and fought the urge to nuzzle Laurie’s neck. To pull her close against his heart. To whisper things he couldn’t possibly mean. To make promises they’d never have time to keep.

He’d gone without sex too long, he reminded himself. A man had needs, and lust drew him to Laurie Smith. But any kind of relationship with a woman like her would bring on emotional complications. And neither Cole nor Beth needed any more disillusions or disappointments.

As they swayed to the beat of the music, Cole couldn’t help but pull her close, press the small of her back to hold her flush against him. Without a doubt, he held more woman than he’d ever held before, but the sooner he let her go, the better. Beth needed stability in her life and a mother-figure she could depend upon. And Cole needed a woman he could trust. A stranger passing through couldn’t be either.

When the song ended, Cole released her. Arms, now empty and useless, hung at his sides. He raked a hand through his hair before crossing his arms casually, hiding a momentary sense of unease. “I suppose I’d better turn in. I’ve got a lot of things to do in the morning.”

She nodded. “I’m pretty tired, myself.”

Later, as he lay in bed staring at the ceiling, Cole felt very much alone. He knew he could easily have encouraged Laurie to join him, to spend the night in his arms, to wake in his bed. He’d seen the passion blazing in her eyes, a raging desire that matched his own.

All he had to do was ask with his eyes, take her hand in his, lead her to his bedroom down the hall. If she’d told him no, it would have been with regret.

He closed his eyes, but couldn’t shut out the memory of the passionate kiss they’d shared the night before. Something powerful sizzled between them.

Chemistry, some people called it. Cole grimaced at the apt analogy, and tried to convince himself experimenting with passion might prove to be a big mistake. Especially with a woman who would walk out of his life.

Hell, making love to Laurie might damn near blow the roof right off the house. It would be hot, wild and intoxicating. A once-in-a-lifetime affair. But it would also be wrong.

And Cole had always tried his damnedest to do the right thing. Even when it made falling asleep damn near impossible.