Читать книгу Most Eligible Texan - Jules Bennett - Страница 11

Three

Matt tipped the waitstaff a hefty amount for their quick, efficient service and for meeting his last-minute demands. He hadn’t known what to have for dinner for Rachel, let alone an infant.

Infant? Toddler? What was the right term for an eleven-month-old? He knew nothing about children and had never taken to the notion of having his own, so he’d never bothered to learn.

But he was interested in Rachel, and she and Ellie were a package deal that he didn’t mind. No matter the years that passed, no matter the fact she’d married his best friend, nothing at all had ever diminished his desire for Rachel. He’d hid it as best he could, often gritting his teeth and biting his tongue when Billy would be disrespectful to Rachel’s needs.

Once Rachel got pregnant, the two started fighting more, and Billy’s answer was to get out of the house so they both could cool off. Those times when Matt and Billy were at the Dallas TCC clubhouse shooting pool and drinking beer or even out on Matt’s boat on the lake, Billy never did grasp that running didn’t solve the problem. He never once acted excited about the pregnancy. He never mentioned how Rachel felt about being a mother. Billy’s life didn’t change at all and Matt knew Rachel hurt alone.

He also knew she’d been excited about the pregnancy, but how much could she actually enjoy it knowing her husband wasn’t fully committed?

Whenever Matt would mention anything to Billy about Rachel, the other man always told him to mind his own business and that he didn’t know what marriage was like. Valid point, but Matt knew how to treat a woman and he damn well respected Rachel.

Matt stepped back and surveyed the dinner he’d had set up on the balcony. His penthouse suite at The Bellamy had a sweeping view of the immaculate grounds, yet was private enough he felt comfortable bringing Rachel out here to talk.

He hoped this setting was okay. For some asinine reason he was a damn nervous wreck. What the hell? There had never been a woman to make him question himself or his motives. Even when he and Rachel had been friends before, the main emotion that always hovered just below the surface had always been forbidden desire.

But she was a different woman now. She was a single mother seeking out a fresh start, not some short-term fling with her late husband’s best friend. And he wasn’t looking for anything more than exploring the connection and seeing if this was just one-sided.

Matt needed to curb his desire. She wasn’t coming here for a quickie. He’d invited her as a friend...and unfortunately, he feared that was the category she’d try to keep him in. Being near her again only put his desires right on the edge, and he had to retain control before he fell over the line of friendship and pulled her right with him.

Even now that she was single, he still had no chance with her because he was known as a ladies’ man, the Most Eligible Bachelor in Texas, and Rachel was a sweetheart who wouldn’t settle for anything less than happily-ever-after.

Damn that title. It had been nothing but a black cloud over him since he’d been given the title some men would happily flaunt. He was not one of those men. He hadn’t even been able to go on a damn date back in Dallas without a snap of the camera or someone coming up to him asking for his autograph.

The final straw had been when he’d come home to his penthouse and a reporter was lurking outside his door. He’d fired his security guard promptly after that irritating inconvenience.

The one woman he wanted could never be his, even temporarily. Perhaps that was his penance for lusting after his best friend’s wife.

Matt looked at all the items he’d ordered. He might not know much about children, but he’d paid his assistant a nice bonus to make a few things happen within the span of a few hours and by just making some calls. Even from Dallas, the woman was working her magic here in Royal and had baby things delivered in record time. That woman definitely deserved a raise. She saved his ass on a daily basis.

With one last glance, he started having doubts. The balcony ledge went up waist-high on him, the wrought iron slats were about an inch apart. There shouldn’t be a problem with Ellie out here, especially with all the other paraphernalia to keep her occupied, but seriously, what did he know about this? Did she walk or crawl? Did she look like Rachel or Billy?

Nerves pumped through him and he didn’t like it. Not one bit. Matt never got nervous. He’d handled multibillion-dollar mergers and never broken a sweat, so it baffled his mind as to why he was getting all worked up.

Besides, what did he think would happen here tonight? Did he truly believe they could pick back up where they’d left off before Billy died? He’d deserted her due to his own selfish needs and worry he wouldn’t be able to control those wants. He’d had to push her away for both of their sakes.

Surely he wasn’t so delusional to think that she’d...what? Want to tumble into bed with him? He’d be a complete liar if he said he hadn’t fantasized about her since the moment they’d met. There was probably some special pocket of hell for men like him, coveting his best friend’s wife.

But Rachel had always been different. Perhaps it was her beauty or the way his entire body tightened with desire when she was around. Maybe it was the way she could go up against anyone in a verbal sparring match that he found so sexy.

Hell, he had no idea. What he was sure of, though, was that having her come to his suite and bring her child along might have been the worst idea he’d ever had.

No, the worst idea he’d had was letting Billy ask Rachel out first. That was where Matt had gone wrong from the start.

The bell chimed throughout the suite and he raked a hand over his cropped hair as he crossed the spacious room. There was no going back now, and he wasn’t about to keep second-guessing himself. Rachel was a friend; so what if he had her over for dinner?

Yet you want more.

He wished like hell the devil on his shoulder would shut up. Matt was well aware of exactly what he wanted from Rachel, but he respected her enough not to seduce her.

With a flick of the lock, Matt pulled the door open and every single best intention of keeping his thoughts platonic vanished.

The formfitting blue shirt that matched her eyes hung off one shoulder. Those well-worn jeans hugged her shapely hips, and her little white sneakers had him immediately thinking back to the younger version he’d first met. But this grown-up Rachel had a beautiful baby girl on her hip...a baby that was a mirror image of her mother right down to the prominent dimples around her mouth.

Matt had always been fascinated by Rachel’s mouth and those damn dimples. Every time she smiled, he’d been mesmerized.

“Come in.”

Geesh, he’d been staring and reminiscing like some hormonal teen. He was a damn grown man, CEO of a billion-dollar company, and he stood here as if he’d never seen an attractive woman before.

“Wow, this is one snazzy hotel.”

Rachel moved into the living area and spun in a slow circle. Her daughter still clutched her little arms around her mother’s shoulders.

“I thought the outside was impressive,” she stated. “But this penthouse suite is bigger than the apartment I’d been renting.”

Matt frowned. Why the hell had she lived in such a small space to begin with? He understood her emotional reasoning for selling the home she and Billy shared, but why an apartment? Could she not afford another home?

He had no right to ask about her financial standing, but that’s exactly what he wanted to do. Obviously this wasn’t something he’d get into with Ellie here.

“I figure this is a good place to hide while I’m in town,” he joked. “I can work from the offices at the TCC clubhouse and come back here and enjoy the amenities of the gym and sauna, and having dinner here is no hardship.”

Rachel patted her daughter’s back. “Then you can stay up here on the balcony and look down on the peons and paparazzi?”

“Something like that,” Matt laughed. “Actually, I had our dinner set up out there if you’d like to head out. The view is breathtaking.”

Rachel moved toward the open French doors. “I don’t know if it’s safe to have Ellie out here.”

As she stepped outside, she gasped as she took in everything he’d done. “Matt, my word! What didn’t you think of?”

Matt shrugged, wondering if he’d gone overboard. Hell, he hadn’t known what to do, so in those instances his default was always to do everything. His motto had always been “Better to have too much than not enough.”

“I wasn’t sure if she used a high chair,” he stated, stepping over the threshold to join her. “When I called my assistant for reinforcements, I told her to ask for the works. The guy came to set all of this up and asked how many kids I had.”

Rachel laughed as she turned and surveyed the spacious balcony. Matt couldn’t take his eyes off her or her daughter. He wasn’t even sure how to feel looking at Billy’s child, but when he saw that sweet girl, he really only saw Ellie.

Guilt slithered in slowly from so many different angles. He shouldn’t still have been lusting after his late friend’s wife, but there was clearly no stopping that. But he also shouldn’t be wanting to get closer to Rachel knowing full well that he wasn’t looking for a family or any type of long-term commitment.

Being married to a career didn’t leave much time for feeding into a relationship. Besides, he couldn’t lose Rachel as a friend. The risks were too high that that was exactly what would happen if he pressed on with his pent up desires.

Rachel still hadn’t said anything as she continued to take in everything. One area of the stretched balcony looked as if a department store had set up their latest display of baby gear. High chair, Pack ’n Play, play mat, toys, stationary swing...

“I don’t know the age for any of this stuff, so if you need something else let me know and I’ll call—”

“No.” Rachel turned back around to face him, her eyes filled with unshed tears. “This is... I don’t even have words. You invited me for dinner and thought of everything for Ellie.”

His gaze darted to the child in question. Her wide brown eyes, exactly like Rachel’s, were focused on him. She clutched a little yellow blanket against her chest and huddled against her mother for security. Something shifted inside Matt, an unknown emotion he couldn’t label and wasn’t sure he wanted to explore.

“She’s beautiful.” Matt turned his gaze back to Rachel as a shimmer of awareness flowed through him. “Just like her mother.”

She blinked and glanced away, never one to take a compliment. That had never stopped him from offering them. Even when the three of them had all hung out, back in the day, Matt would tell her she looked nice or he liked her hair. There hadn’t been a time he recalled hearing Billy compliment his wife, and Matt hadn’t been able to help himself. Billy had been a great friend, yet from everything Matt could tell, he had been a lousy husband.

But really, all of this was a moot point. Because regardless of the state of their marriage, Matt knew he shouldn’t be trying to make a play for Billy’s wife. He had regrets in his life, but this might be the most asshole-ish thing he’d ever done. Still, Matt had never backed away from what he wanted...and he wanted the hell out of Rachel Kincaid.

“Who else is eating with us?” Rachel asked as she stared at the spread he’d ordered.

“Just us. I ordered all of your favorites. Well, what I remember you ordering in the past, but I didn’t know what you were in the mood for.”

Rachel wrinkled her nose. “I’m a boring creature of habit. I pretty much stick with pizza, pasta or any other carb. This all looks amazing.”

He took a step forward and offered a smile. “You’re not boring,” he corrected. “There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you want. I’m the same way. I see something I want, I make it mine.”

Damn it. He needed to calm the hell down. Hadn’t he told himself to get control over his desires?

But saying and doing were clearly two different things because he couldn’t stop himself. Rachel pulled out emotions in him he couldn’t even describe.

Her eyes widened. “Are you talking about food or something else?”

Matt shrugged, forcing himself to take a step back and not get her any more flustered. “We’ll discuss food. For now.”

Rachel moved to the Pack ’n Play and sat Ellie down. The little girl whimpered for a moment before Rachel pulled a doll from the diaper bag on her shoulder. Damn it, why hadn’t he taken that from her?

“Let me help.” He took the bag from her shoulder. “Damn, woman, what do you have in here?”

Rachel straightened and turned. “It’s amazing how one little person can need so many things. Diapers, wipes, butt paste—”

“Pardon?”

She laughed and went on. “I have an extra change of clothes in case of blowouts, food, snacks, toys, pain reliever for her swollen gums...”

“I don’t know if I want any more information about the butt paste and blowouts.” Matt set the diaper bag next to the door. “I’ll fix you a plate. The restaurant downstairs serves some of the best food I’ve ever had and I’ve been all around the world. I ordered their rosemary bread because when I called, they said they’d just taken it from the oven.”

“Well, you clearly know me,” she said with a wide smile that punched him with another dose of lust. “If it’s carbs, I’m in.”

“Do you still have a love for key lime pie?”

Rachel rolled her eyes. “If you mean do I still inhale it like it’s my job, then yes. I don’t even care about the added pounds. Key lime pie is so worth it.”

“You’re still just as stunning as always, Rachel. No pounds could change that.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and tilted her head. “I’m starting to see why you were the recipient of the most prestigious bachelor title. You’re still quite the charmer.”

He might try to charm other women—well, he didn’t try; he flat-out did charm them. But with Rachel, he wasn’t trying. He always spoke the truth, always wanted her to know her value and how special she was.

If you cared so much, you wouldn’t have let a year pass since seeing her.

“I’ve missed you,” she stated, as if reading his mind. “I miss our friendship.”

Friendship. Yes. That’s the only label their relationship could have, because she was a widow, a single mother and she wasn’t looking to jump back into anything. Honestly, he wasn’t looking to fill the role of Daddy, either, but that didn’t stop the fact he wanted Rachel as more than a friend.

Likely she’d thrown that out there as a reminder, but he dismissed the words. He’d respect her if she flat-out wasn’t interested, but he had to know. He had to know if she was interested in him. He needed to find out if she burned for him as much as he for her. Would she even want to attempt anything physical knowing he wasn’t ready for anything more?

Why did this all have to be so damn complicated? Oh, right. Because he’d spent years building and attempting to ignore these emotions.

“I’d better eat before she starts fussing,” Rachel told him as she went to take a seat. “There’s always a small window of opportunity and I rarely get warm food because I feed her first.”

Matt urged Rachel toward the table and pulled her chair out. “If she fusses, I’m sure I can hold her and entertain her while you finish, or I can feed her. Regardless, you are eating right now while it’s warm, and there will be no arguments.”

Rachel looked up at him and quirked one brow. “You ready to play Uncle Matt?”

Ouch. That stung. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to be called...then again, he hadn’t given it much thought. He was having difficulty processing much of anything with that creamy shoulder of Rachel’s on display and her familiar floral fragrance teasing his senses.

“I win over billion-dollar mergers before breakfast,” he joked. “I’m pretty sure I can handle a little person.”

Rachel snorted. “Don’t get too cocky. It’s harder than it looks.”

“I never doubted that for a minute,” he corrected. “Now eat. There’s plenty.”

Once she took a seat, Matt eased it closer to the table. He immediately started filling her plate with rosemary bread and Alfredo over penne and chicken, then filled her glass with pinot grigio.

“You put all of this together pretty quick considering you just asked me today.”

Matt set her food in front of her before taking a seat across the table. “Just a few calls and the right connections. Why wouldn’t I go all out for a friend I haven’t seen in a year?”

Her stare leveled his. “I’d think a cup of coffee or a stroll in the park would’ve sufficed.”

Matt reached across the table and squeezed her fingers. Her eyes immediately darted to their joined hands. “You have every right to be angry with me.”

“I’m not angry,” she retorted.

Matt raked his thumb across the silky ridge of her knuckles before easing back. He noticed she didn’t wear her wedding band any longer and part of him swelled with approval and excitement.

“Hurt then. You can’t lie to me, Rachel. Billy’s death did something to both of us.”

Like the fact he couldn’t be the one to console her. He simply...damn it, he couldn’t. He’d wanted too much for too long so he’d had to let her go and pray someone else offered the comfort she needed. Because if he’d had to hold her day after day, night after night until her pain had eased...

“I was hurt,” she admitted. “I still am, actually. Care to tell me why you just disappeared?”

“I texted.”

Such a lame defense, yet the words left his mouth before he could stop himself. Out of everything and everyone in his life, Rachel was the one he’d barely been able to control himself around.

“I don’t really want to dredge up the past right now. I want answers from you, but let’s not do it tonight.” She picked up her fork and offered a typical dimpled smile. “Billy was a big part of my life, but I’ve worked hard at moving on. I’m trying to make a future for Ellie and me. Always looking back isn’t the way to do that.”

He had to hand it to her. She’d hurt from her husband’s death, from Matt’s absence, from being thrust into being a single mother, yet she forced herself to trudge on.

“So, you’re finishing your degree,” he started, hoping to keep the topic on her life. “Where do you go from there?”

Rachel stabbed a piece of pasta and lifted a shoulder. “Right now I’m helping Alexis with the charity auction for the Pancreatic Cancer Research Foundation.”

Impressed, Matt nodded in silent admiration. “What’s the auction? Do you have donations from area businesses?”

Rachel dropped her fork, pulled the napkin from her lap and dabbed the corners of her mouth. “We’re auctioning men.”

Matt stilled. “Excuse me?”

Those bright, beautiful eyes locked on his across the table. There was that mischievous gleam he’d seen from her in the past. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know more.

“We’re having a bachelor auction. Care to be Bachelor Fifteen?”