Читать книгу For Their Child's Sake - Jules Bennett - Страница 13

Chapter Three

“Where’s Daisy?”

Marley’s question broke through the awkward tension filling the kitchen. Breakfast had been mostly Marley chattering and Sam and Tara dancing around each other without speaking.

Now Tara rinsed off the dishes and sat them on the counter for Sam to put into the dishwasher.

“When you had your accident, Daisy had to go to the boarder.”

The lie slid out of Sam’s mouth and sounded so convincing. Tara couldn’t help but wonder how easily he’d lied to her in the past and if he ever truly felt guilty about deceiving. But, for now, Tara didn’t want to break her daughter’s heart, so she was going to go along with Sam and see how things went. Every day, every moment, would be playing things by ear.

“When can we go get her?”

“We’ll see, honey,” Tara chimed in. She set another glass on the counter. “Let’s focus on you healing, okay?”

Still seated at the table, Marley propped her chin on her hand. “What’s wrong with me? My head hurts.”

The swollen red knot on her forehead near her hairline was a constant visual reminder of how quickly their lives had changed. Tara couldn’t stand the thought of something happening to her daughter. Hadn’t their family been through enough? There was only so long she could be strong and she truly feared she was edging closer to her breaking point.

Tara threw a glance to Sam, but his attention and concern were directed at Marley.

“We don’t want you to worry, but you do deserve the truth,” he said. “Let’s go into the living room and talk. Okay?”

Without waiting for a response, Sam scooped Marley up and airplaned her along the narrow hallway. Tara followed them in time to see him safely land her on the oversized sofa like he had countless times before. Usually for movie or game night, but that was just another bond those two shared. Between the cooking and the random bursts of flying, Sam and Marley were absolutely made for each other.

No matter what happened between Sam and Tara, nothing would change how close those two were.

Would her heart keep lurching at these familiar acts? No matter what, Marley’s recovery had to take top priority. Pushing nostalgia aside was the only way she’d ever make it through the days of Sam staying here again.

Tara’s cell vibrated in her pocket. She slid it out and saw Lucy’s text to the group with Lucy, Kate and Tara. Tara would answer her friends later.

Lucy and Kate were closer to Tara than any sisters could be. Together, the three volunteered at and ran a grief counseling center a few evenings a month. Each of them had suffered her own loss in one form or another, but recently her friends had each found their much-deserved happily-ever-after. Lucy and Kate were happier than Tara had seen them in years.

Lucy had met Noah Spencer when he came into town to take a position at the police department. When Lucy met Emma, his little girl, and heard their tragic story, she had fallen even more in love.

In a not-so-surprising move, Kate and her best guy friend, Gray, had married and were expecting their first baby. Of course the whole falling-in-love thing had been a surprise to Kate, but anyone else looking in their direction could’ve told her where she’d end up.

Kate and Lucy had been messaging her and checking in since Marley’s accident. She knew her friends worried, so she’d have to call each of them later to ease their minds. Marley was home and healing; that was the positive. The drawback? Sam was home, too.

First, though, she needed to put her sole focus on explaining to Marley what was going on...or at least as much as she could say and still obey the doctor’s orders.

Sam had already taken a seat next to their daughter, so Tara sat on the other side. She reached for Marley’s little hand and squeezed, offering silent comfort.

“Your dad and I are here for you, so we don’t want you scared,” Tara began. Marley’s bright blue eyes widened. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have started out that way.”

Sam patted Marley’s knee. “What your mother meant to say is, you had a bad fall. The doctors want us to watch you closely and make sure you don’t have any stress or worries. We need you to be a happy kid until your head heals the way it should.”

Was he not going to use the term amnesia? Shouldn’t they at least tell her that much? Tara met his gaze over top of Marley. Sam shook his head and held her eyes until she nodded in agreement.

Perhaps they shouldn’t say anything too upsetting because Marley wouldn’t completely understand the ramifications of memory loss. It wasn’t as if amnesia was an everyday term they tossed around.

Regaining the past year’s memories on her own was the best way for Marley to heal, according to the professionals. Letting everything happen in a natural way would be less traumatizing...or so her doctor said.

Still, Tara had endured enough lies to last a lifetime and keeping this to herself was like a knife to her heart. She loathed lies and liars...yet here she was.

Marley’s eyes darted between them. “Does that mean I can ask for something and you guys will get it for me?”

“Excuse me?” Tara asked.

“I’m supposed to be happy, right? Can I get a pet iguana? They’re scaly, which kinda reminds me of a mermaid. I’ll name him Ralph and he can sleep in my room.”

Sam laughed and the low, familiar sound had Tara shifting in her seat. She’d missed that laugh and suddenly realized it had been too long since she’d heard it—and even longer since they’d sat like this as a family.

Pretending was most likely going to be their new norm.

“Don’t press your luck,” Sam told Marley as he tickled her belly. “But, seriously, if you start hurting more than usual, if you feel dizzy or nauseous or anything feels weird, you need to tell your mom or me so we can help. Got it?”

Marley nodded. “So if Ralph is a no, then maybe I could have ice cream? I ate my breakfast.”

The no was on the tip of Tara’s tongue, but Sam piped up. “Sure,” he said. “If there was ever a time for breakfast dessert, I’d say it’s today. In fact, I’ll get three bowls of it. You ladies stay right here.”

He was up and gone, leaving Tara speechless. This was the most interaction she’d had with him in person since she’d kicked him out. Though kicked him out was such a harsh term for what had actually happened. There had been tears, there had been pleading, there had been words said neither of them meant along with a broken back door. Ultimately Sam had walked out with one small bag of clothes.

He’d sent Gray to pick up the rest of his stuff while Sam had been in rehab. Seeing his side of the closet so bare had taken some getting used to—she still wasn’t sure she was accustomed to the sight.

Over the past year Sam had texted her, called, left notes and flowers. He’d sent Marley flowers, as well, and she had always displayed them on the nightstand right next to her bed. She wasn’t naive. She knew he wanted their life back, but hearts weren’t so easily mended. In theory, having a whole family again sounded picture perfect, but reality proved to be a different story.

Tara would never admit to anyone that she still had each and every note Sam had mailed—yes, mailed—or put under her windshield wiper over the past year. They were in a neat, orderly stack in the top drawer of her dresser.

When she’d received the first note, she’d wanted to shred it and throw it away because even seeing his handwriting had been too painful. But she couldn’t bring herself to get rid of it because, as much as she wanted to hate Sam, she knew addiction wasn’t a choice. He certainly hadn’t chosen to get hurt and have a physician prescribe something so addictive. Yet she’d had to let him go in order to save him.

“Are you okay, Mommy?”

Tara turned her attention to Marley and smiled, though her throat burned with emotions. “Better now that you’re home.”

“Is Daddy okay? You guys seem kinda sad.”

Why were kids so in tune with their surroundings? Tara could tell Marley eight times to get her shoes on in the morning for school and her daughter would still shuffle around in her socks until the last minute. Yet here she was, picking up on the tension between her parents without a word being spoken on the topic.

Tara would have to work harder because, as much as she hated to admit it, Sam had been right. They had to pretend to be happily married, just like they had been.

Oh, they’d been so happy. They’d been that sickening couple who held hands in public, who sent lovey-dovey texts throughout the day, who woke up holding each other after making love and falling asleep in each other’s arms. They’d had their occasional disagreements, but nothing they hadn’t been able to overcome.

Until addiction crept in and they couldn’t overcome.

“Mommy?”

Tara smoothed Marley’s hair away from her face and tapped on her daughter’s nose. “What do you say we binge-watch your favorite movies all day? We’ll have your favorite foods, too.”

“Well, Dad is already making tacos, so that only leaves pizza for lunch.”

“Pizza it is,” Sam stated, coming into the room juggling three bowls of strawberry ice cream. “I’ll go out and get the stuff and you can help me make it.”

“Deal,” Marley squealed as she took her ice cream. “Are both of you off today?”

Sam’s eyes met Tara’s. He offered a smile and a wink. “I took time off to be with my family.”

Those last two words nearly gutted Tara. Sam seemed a little too settled into this temporary role and they’d only been faking it a few hours. How would she survive the rest of this farce?

More important, what would happen when Marley remembered that her father didn’t actually live here anymore? How would she react to reliving her dog dying, her father leaving? The first time had been crushing to her sweet girl. She’d had nightmares, worried something would happen to her daddy because he wasn’t home where he should be. Tara had just gotten Marley sleeping through the night again.

Tara didn’t like the lies already mounting. Nothing about this was okay. Nothing.

After they finished their ice cream, Tara sent Marley to her room to get her favorite pillow, blanket and stuffed animal for movie time. Once she was out of earshot, Tara crossed to the mantel and adjusted some of the photos to give her hands something to do.

“I lived with half-truths and flat-out lies for too long,” she started. “I don’t like this, Sam.”

His boots shuffled on the hardwood floor and she tensed as he moved closer. But he didn’t reach for her.

“I don’t like lying to her, either,” Sam agreed. “But we have to trust the doctors. Telling her about an entire year will only confuse her and hurt her even more. Do you want her to relive that all over again? And then again when she really remembers it?”

Tara pulled in a deep breath and turned to face him. “She’ll have to relive it at some point and I think it’s better coming from us than to have her smacked in the face with a blindsided thought.”

“Not today.” He took another step forward until he was too close. “Today, let’s be the family she needs.”

“And the family you want?”

The muscles in his jaw clenched. “I can’t change the past, Tara. But I can sure as hell make the future better for all of us.”

She’d never heard him speak with such conviction. Before he’d entered rehab, Sam had begged her to give him another chance, but she’d been all out and knew if she didn’t push him away, he’d never get better. She simply couldn’t risk letting him in again. Not into her heart, not into her bed.

Since he’d gotten out of rehab, he’d been the epitome of a gentleman and she wasn’t sure if that pleased her and made her life easier or if it irritated the hell out of her because she couldn’t figure out his angle. She thought he wanted her back, but he’d never said the words. He was just always present in one way or another.

Damn it. Her nerves were utterly shot.

“You need to sign those papers.”

Sam opened his mouth, but Marley came into the room and dropped her stuff right at their feet.

“Can we watch cooking shows instead of movies?” she asked, looking between her parents, completely oblivious to the turmoil.

Well, she hadn’t been oblivious. Marley knew something was up, but Tara vowed to make sure her daughter didn’t suspect anything was wrong from here on out.

“Of course,” Sam replied. “Then maybe you can make dinner.”

“No way. You promised me tacos and I want corn cakes to go with it.”

Sam ruffled Marley’s hair. “You’re lucky I love you.”

And he did. Above all else, Sam loved Marley like she was his very own. He had from the moment he’d come into their lives. Even during his treatment, he’d made sure Marley knew he would be okay.

But he couldn’t be the man she’d married. He would never be that man again and for that reason alone Tara had had to come to grips with the fact they were over.

Playing house was not helping her already battered heart and this was only the beginning.