Читать книгу Addy's Redemption: A Novel - Juliana Ormsby - Страница 11

Chapter V

New Friends

Somewhat hesitantly, Addy called out, “Who is it?”

A man’s low voice answered, “It’s Greg from next door. May I talk to you for a minute?”

Although his voice was deeply masculine and assured, there was a sense of urgency about it.

Without thinking about how messy she must look, Addy rushed quickly to the door. When she opened it, there he was … the beautiful creature she had seen sitting on his porch at night, yellow rain jacket draped over his wide shoulders. He’s a triangle, Addy thought spontaneously. She didn’t know why, but tall men with broad shoulders and narrow waists secretly thrilled her. Maybe it was because as a child she had a set of brightly colored wooden men you could balance and stack. They seemed to be wearing business suits so Addy called them her “Gentlemen.”

The rain dripped from the hood of the raincoat of this Narcissus, who most probably had not spent his life gazing at his own stunning reflection. In fact, he appeared to be oblivious to his good looks.

Blushing with embarrassment, Addy said, “Please come in.”

Thrusting his large hand toward her, the man said, “Hi, I’m Greg Finn from the house next door.” His handshake was firm and confident. Addy was touching a dream.

“Hello. I’m Addison Roberge, and these are my children, Peter, James, and Mary.”

The kids nodded, looking the stranger over with pleasant curiosity.

“I’m sorry to trouble you, but I need to ask a favor. I have an interview this afternoon, and my sister was supposed to come up to watch my daughter. She just called to say her kids woke up sick so she doesn’t dare bring them up here. She’s afraid Allison, my daughter, might catch what they have. Allison can’t be around sick children.”

Addy was speechless? Where was his wife? What was wrong with his daughter? How could this perfect specimen of a man have any troubles in his life?

Addy said quickly, “Would she be comfortable staying with us? The kids would love the company.”

At first the man looked hesitant and then said, “That’s a great idea. I shouldn’t be gone that long. Well, unless they decide to hire me on the spot.” He broke into a broad Irish smile, his straight white teeth glistening.

Greg asked if he could bring Allison over around one o’clock. His interview was in Portland. Addy forgot how frumpy she looked and said cheerfully, “We’ll be waiting.” The kids looked at one another excitedly. What new adventures awaited them on this rainy day? The tension vanished from their neighbor’s face. “I can’t thank you enough.” He said as he turned and sprinted back to his cottage.

Addy showered and changed into the only decent summer outfit she had, white slacks and a navy blue top. Ugh. Why was she so fat? Shut up, stupid, she chided herself. You could never attract this man, even if you were young and single. He was simply out of her league.

At precisely one o’clock, Greg arrived at their door. He was extraordinarily handsome in his raincoat, but in a pinstriped oxford shirt and khaki pants, he was indescribable. A tiny redheaded girl, who looked to be about six years old, stood nervously next to her father. Addy was so relieved to see the child showed no obvious signs of illness. Aside from being rather thin and a bit pale, Allison looked perfectly normal. Mary came straight to the door to greet Allison.

“Come on in. Want to play Mr. Potato Head?”

Allison immediately forgot she was with strangers and replied excitedly, “I love Mr. Potato Head.”

Greg said, “She has had her lunch.” Addy asked what foods, if any, Allison could not have.

“None,” Greg smiled, “… if you can get her to eat anything.”

As he turned to leave, he reiterated, “You don’t know how much this means to Allison and me.”

Addy blushed and managed to fumble her way through, “I hope you get the job.”

“Thanks. Wish me luck!”

Allison proved to be a delightful child. As Addy watched her playing with the kids, she wondered about Greg’s wife. Would Addy ever find out why he was alone with his daughter? The afternoon wiled away slowly. Mary even got Allison to eat a sliced apple and some cookies. The boys seemed to enjoy Allison as much as Mary did. They teased the girls harmlessly while Mary and Allison laughed over-dramatically as girls sometimes do around boys.

About five o’clock Greg knocked on the door, and Allison yelled excitedly, “It’s Daddy.”

There was Greg standing in her doorway, arms full of grocery bags. Addy asked immediately, “How did it go?”

“Well, they didn’t give me the final word, but I think I got the job. This was my third interview.” He suddenly turned shy. “By the way, I hope you don’t mind. I brought steaks and chicken to put on the grill for dinner.”

Embarrassed, Addy protested, “Oh, you shouldn’t have done that.”

In spite of her response, Greg sensed she approved.

“Do you like red wine?”

Although Addy did not drink, she did not want to seem a fool. What if the kids told Lionel a man had wine with their mother? For a moment, she was lost in confusion and fear.

“Sure. I love it,” she quickly lied. Addy did not care if Lionel beat her to death. She had to spend time in the presence of this Greek god.

Greg put the groceries down on the counter and then scooped up Allison in his arms.

“Daddy, Daddy, I had fun,” she exclaimed.

“Does that mean you want to go home now, sweet potato?” Greg teased.

“No, Daddy. Let’s stay here please.”

Addy was relieved that Allison wanted to stay for supper. Greg seemed the kind of dad who would put his little girl’s wishes before his own. He asked Addy if there was any charcoal in the garage. She was too embarrassed to let him know she had not even tried the grill, and Greg must have noticed her discomfort.

“Never mind. I’ll get some charcoal from my place.”

The rain had disappeared by six o’clock. Now a cool breeze blew away the clouds, revealing a deep blue canopy of sky.

“Look outside, kids. There’s a rainbow,” Addy declared excitedly.

The kids pushed their way to the door to see. Tears welled in Addy’s eyes, as she thought, maybe this is a good omen, but immediately dismissed the thought as ridiculous. Even if this was the only night she ever spent with Greg and Allison, Addy would be grateful.

Greg insisted that he do the grilling and told Addy to relax. First, he wrapped baking potatoes and ears of corn with tin foil and let them roast directly on the coals for quite a while before placing the meat on the grill top. As she slowly sipped her wine, Addy began to unwind and thought dreamily, all that, and he cooks, too.

Why doesn’t this man have a wife? Wait. Maybe he does. That’s it. She could not come because she is traveling for work, Addy thought pessimistically. She accepted the fact that she was a masochist. Any woman who continues to live with a sadistic man like Lionel has to love suffering. Why was she allowing Lionel to burst this magic rainbow bubble?

After dinner, the kids played kick ball in the yard while Addy and Greg watched them from her sun porch. Addy noticed that Allison was having a hard time keeping up with her kids so she shouted, “Let Allison have the ball!”

Greg turned to Addy and said, “Thanks for being so considerate. Allison doesn’t look sick, does she?”

“Not at all,” Addy quickly remarked but did not want to pry about what was wrong with Greg’s daughter. He in turn offered the information on his own. She has leukemia.”

“Are there any cures for it?” inquired Addy gently. Greg suddenly looking sad said, “Not yet. There is a lot of research going on, and there are some treatments … but no cure. Allison has been lucky so far. She is in remission,” and looking panicked, he added, “or I would never have left her with you.” For a moment, it seemed Greg felt guilty for not telling Addy about Allison’s condition beforehand.

Addy tried to change the subject and said with half-hearted optimism, “Maybe by the time she is older, they will have found a cure.”

For the first time, Greg looked depressed. “As long as she is in remission, she’s OK. I have resigned myself to the fact that I am slowly losing my daughter. That’s why I want to change jobs and move up here permanently. Things always seem so much better by the ocean, and Allison loves Maine.”

Trying to lighten the mood, Addy became animated. “You are so right. My best memories are of summers by the sea.”

Greg looked over at Addy as if he was seeing her for the first time. He saw a deeply private sadness in her hazel eyes and wondered what had caused her sorrow. She was, after all, a lovely woman. Addy felt self-conscious as she felt Greg studying her face. She looked away. The questions she burned to ask were about Allison’s mother. Was she dead? Certainly, a perfect man like Greg could not have this much bad luck.

As if reading her mind, Greg continued, “When my wife found out about Allison’s disease, she just couldn’t deal with it so she moved away. We eventually divorced, and Allison never again saw or spoke to her mother.”

Addy’s heart was breaking. “Does Allison ask about her mother?”

“All the time,” Greg added. “I tell her that her mom is working on a secret project and cannot write letters or visit. It’s a dumb lie, but Allison seems to accept it.”

Addy instantly hated this woman. What kind of mother would abandon her child?

“Oh Greg,” Addy said sincerely, “I am so sorry.”

He smiled at her and said, “Well, at least I have my little girl for a few years. That’s a lot more than some people have.”

He’s an optimist, Addy thought. I had better not be too negative or morose around him. He has enough on his mind. Greg checked his wristwatch and said, “Wow. It’s late. I had better get Allison to bed.”

Addy was dreading hearing these words. He was going to leave.

Greg called to Allison, and all the kids came running.

“Can Allison come over and play with us another day?” implored Mary.

“Why sure,” said Greg, his beautiful smile brightening his face. “She is lucky to have found some kids to play with. She’s sick of just her old dad.”

Allison went over to Greg and hugged his legs. “That’s not true, Daddy.”

What a sweet child; just like her father.

They said their “good nights” without making any plans. Greg’s optimism was contagious, and Addy knew they would all be together again. The wine had gone to her head, and she fell asleep that night, imagining herself cradled in the safety of Greg’s arms.

The sun was already bright by eight in the morning. After breakfast, the kids asked excitedly, “What are we going to do today?”

They had no sooner spoken than a knock came at the door. There was Greg, standing sheepishly, but illuminated like a pure-hearted knight. Addy had been too shy to study him closely, but this morning she could not take her eyes off him. He wore a navy blue T-shirt with a small yachting logo on it, khaki Bermuda shorts and boat shoes with no socks. Such fine legs. Allison was standing next to her dad. Dressed in blue shorts and a red and white striped shirt, she looked rested and happy.

“You two look like sailors,” Addy laughed.

“I hope it’s not too early,” Greg said, “but we wanted to invite you to come out on our boat with us today.”

Addy’s kids, still in their pajamas, looked amazed. A boat! Addy was, of course, afraid of deep water, but at that moment, she didn’t care. The kids ran to their rooms to get dressed. Greg’s beach wagon was waiting out front. All four kids piled into the back seat, leaving Addy to sit next to Greg. She watched how carefully and confidently he drove.

“The boat is docked at the Webhannet River boatyard.”

Addy dared not display her ignorance about the geography of Maine, or boating, for that matter. She had never been in a boat. When they arrived at the marina, other boaters waved and shouted at Greg and Allison.

Greg’s boat was a beauty. It was wooden, about 26 feet long, and the well-waxed mahogany gleamed in the sunlight. Although the boat was an older one, someone had lovingly babied it. There were padded benches along the sides of the top deck, and a kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom below.

“This was my dad’s boat,” Greg said proudly. “I had to eat my words when I told him I would never have a motorized boat. I used to sail, but this boat is better now that Allison and I are co-captains.”

Greg helped the kids fasten their life jackets. Addy was relieved when he gave her one, too. The sea was calm, the sky blue, the breeze gentle; a dream of a day for boating. Is this what people who believe in God see as proof of his benevolence? Yet why does Allison have to suffer? Why does Greg have to stand by helplessly watching his little girl’s health decline? Addy raged. She looked over at Greg as he handled the boat so firmly and capably, and wanted so much to ask him what his take on God happened to be. She did not.

Only Greg knew that this boat ride held a surprise for the children … he was heading to Old Orchard Beach, the first and longstanding New England ocean side amusement park. The kids suddenly caught sight of the ferris wheel and looked at Greg with amazement.

“Are we going THERE?” Jimmy asked.

Greg replied, “We sure are, buddy. Do you think you’ll like it?”

Addy panicked. She didn’t have enough money with her to fund a day for her three children at an amusement park.

She turned to Greg to protest, but he said, “By the way, this day is on me. Allison and I are so happy to have made some new friends in Maine.”

Why is he so nice? Why is he such an angel? How could he be so benevolent when he was, after all, unlucky?

Their time at Old Orchard Beach whizzed by in a blissful blur. The seductive smells, sounds, and sights enraptured Addy, as they had done all those years ago at Sound View. Allison and Mary rode the carousel, trying to catch the golden ring. All of them went on the ferris wheel, high in the air with the ocean right below. Greg knocked down stacks of wooden milk bottles so that Allison and Mary could win Teddy bears, and the boys, American flags. They stuffed themselves on foot-long hot dogs, sticky red candy apples, and puffy pink cotton candy.

Addy pleaded with the God she did not trust to never let this day end. Please let us stay forever with Greg and Allison.

As the sun began to set, Greg said, “We have to start getting back.”

The kids groaned, but they were nice children who had already learned that all good things must eventually end. On the trip back to Webhannet River Marina, everyone was quiet. The sleepy children went down below and all plopped on the big bed. Addy sat next to Greg as he steered his boat. Had he stole a glance at her a time or two? Of course not… that was impossible. No matter how bad his luck, he was, after all, a triangle. He was just too handsome and perfect for her, and besides, he was probably an unquestioning Catholic like Lionel.

LIONEL. It would be just a matter of days until he came to pick them up. What would she do? How could she go with him? What if the kids told him about Greg?

Frightened, Addy thought of the cruelty she would suffer if Lionel knew she had spent time with a man. Then, she remembered her promise not to think of Lionel during the vacation. He could beat her as hard as he wanted. She had never kissed another man, and she wanted to kiss Greg. If she was going to be smacked around for doing nothing, why not enjoy herself?

Addy turned to Greg and smiled the coy smile that women use instinctively when flirting with a man, and he warmly drank it in.

Yes, Addy thought, I am going to kiss him.

The next morning Addy awakened with a feeling of dread. It’s Saturday. Lionel would be coming for them in a week. She wanted to spend every precious moment until then with Greg.

What an ass I am, she chided herself. How can I think a man like him would want to kiss me?

Self-loathing was one of her favorite pastimes. After all, she had lost both her parents, and then married the mental case, Lionel. She was plainly and simply an unlucky person trapped in hell.

As she rolled over on her side, Addy stopped thinking along that negative line for a moment.

Wait. Greg is unlucky. I know nothing about his parents, but fate handed him a set of losing cards … dying daughter, runaway wife ... Why wasn’t he morose and depressed like she was? He didn’t seem to feel sorry for himself at all.

The kids were awake, and Mary skipped into Addy’s room. Always quiet and polite, she said softly, “Mommy, can we have breakfast now?”

“Of course, sweetheart. How would you like blueberry muffins?”

Addy had brought along a container of baking mix so she could whip up muffins in a cinch. As she bustled around in the cheery kitchen, she felt grounded in the present … coffee perking, aroma of blueberry muffins drifting through the lovely home, and her precious children.

After breakfast, Addy waited longingly for a knock on the door, but it didn’t come. It was about ten o’clock, and the children wanted to go to the beach. Was Greg still here? Is something wrong? Is he even real?

Addy and the kids trudged along to Wells Beach. Maybe Greg would be at the beach, but he had not been there thus far. The sun was probably too hot for Allison’s fair skin. Addy spent a greater part of the afternoon reading on the blanket while the kids played in the water. What if she never saw Greg again?

By two o’clock, the sun was hotter than it had been all week. It was Saturday and even Wells Town Beach was crowded. Many of the sunbathers were speaking French. Greg had told her that Maine is a favored vacation spot for the French Canadians. Compared to the Atlantic coast of Canada, Maine’s water was tropical. In spite of her efforts to slather the kids with suntan lotion, all three looked red.

“Do you want to go back?” she called to them. Surprisingly, they said, “Yes.” She was relieved. Maybe Greg had stayed home today.

When she arrived back at the house, she noticed Greg’s beach wagon in the driveway and another car parked in front of his house. You idiot, Addy. He must have a girlfriend. How could he not? At that moment, she vowed to stop behaving like a lovesick schoolgirl. Addy and the children had lunch, and then the three kids actually went to their rooms to take naps. They were exhausted from the blistering sun.

Addy sat on the porch reading her latest “Good Housekeeping.” No Jane Austen today. Austen’s works were too romantic, and the last thing Addy needed right now was to read love stories. She thumbed through her magazine restlessly, distracted by the thought of the wagon in front of Greg’s house. She looked out and saw a lovely, tall, graceful woman taking things out of the car. How could I have ever been so stupid? Addy thought. How dare I think a man like Greg would find me attractive?

Astonishingly, the woman was heading toward Addy’s door. Addy vowed not to answer it, but the woman was persistent. Don’t be a baby. If Greg has a girlfriend, good for him. He deserved happiness. Addy slowly opened the door, and the woman smiled. “Hi. I’m Caroline, Greg’s sister.”

Greg’s SISTER! When would this miracle end?

Relieved, Addy said, “Please come in.”

Caroline sat on the sofa in the living room and said, “Greg tells me you have three children, but it’s so quiet in here. Addy laughed, “The kids are actually taking naps. The sun was unbearable today.”

Caroline agreed. “Today is a scorcher, but tomorrow is supposed to be much cooler.” Addy could see Caroline’s resemblance to Greg and instantly liked her. She was unassuming and appeared to be oblivious to her own beauty.

“I am so sorry that I couldn’t make it up here to watch Allison the day Greg had his interview. He told me you let Allison come over to your house, and I just wanted to thank you. What would he have done without you? We have had our cottage for years, but the people who used to summer in the area have moved on. Greg has no one around to help him.”

A worried look came over Caroline’s face. “That’s why I’m concerned about him living up here alone with Allison.”

Much like Greg, Caroline quickly shrugged off the worry. “It is the best thing for both of them, so I’m sure they will meet some people. Are you going to be staying long in Maine?”

“No, we have to leave this coming Saturday,” Addy responded sadly.

“Oh, what a shame. Allison seems like she loves your family, and Greg does, too.”

Did Addy notice a twinkle in Caroline’s eye?

“Listen …, since it is supposed to be cooler tomorrow, I want to make a deal with you.”

Addy suspected Caroline needed a babysitter, too.

“To repay you for being so nice to my brother, I want to do something for you. There is a small, old zoo with a few rides in York. That zoo has been there since I was a child. How about if I take your kids to York for the day?”

Addy was confused. Did she mean she wanted Addy, Greg, and their children to go along?

“Did Greg tell you I have a ten-year-old son, Alex, and an eight-year-old daughter, Sarah? My brother is completely devoted to Allison but hasn’t had a break in years. I do try to take Allison as much as I can, but she and Greg live in Boston, and I live in New Hampshire.”

Addy was still lost … so she wants ME and both our sets of kids to go with HER to York for the day? That would be fun; Caroline seemed very pleasant.

“I thought Greg and you might enjoy spending some time alone together away from the kids.”

Caroline burst out laughing when she saw the look of terror on Addy’s face.

“Have no fear. My brother isn’t an ax murderer; he asked me to arrange it this way, but don’t tell him I told you.”

Addy was speechless. Greg wanted to be alone with HER? Didn’t he or his sister care that she was married? What did all this mean?

“Maybe you two could have a nice dinner at the Gray Gull. It’s just a stone’s throw from here … or maybe not. You might just want to stay in and put steaks on the grill. I’ll take the kids around one o’clock and probably won’t bring them back until after dark. Don’t worry … I can handle a brood … I was a teacher before I got married.” Caroline laughed and rolled her eyes.

Addy was suddenly terrified. What if Greg wanted to have a sexual encounter with her? She was so fat, while Greg had a perfectly toned body. Well, she was a grown woman and could refuse.

She briefly drifted off into one of her self-absorbed comas. Caroline sat patiently then said, “Look, my brother has been divorced for three years now, and in that time, he has yet to spend an evening out with a lady. You may well be married, but your husband is obviously not around. It would be a harmless dinner. You both seem like you could use a little diversion.”

Addy said, “I will have to ask the kids.”

Caroline wrinkled her nose and scowled, mimicking how a mad face looks.

“They don’t have any say. They are going to York whether they like it or not. I won’t breathe a word to the kids that you will be with Greg.”

Caroline must be very liberal-minded. How could she set up her brother with a woman about whom she knew nothing? On the other hand, perhaps Caroline wasn’t liberal at all. Maybe she just wanted her brother to be happy at all costs.

Addy went through the motions of preparing dinner and watching TV with the children that night. She finally worked up the nerve to bring up Caroline’s proposal to take them to the zoo in York.

“Hey kids,” Addy blurted, “Allison’s aunt wants to take you to York to the zoo.”

The kids were engrossed in a cartoon show and nodded distractedly. She didn’t think they heard what she had said.

“Do you want to go to the zoo tomorrow?”

Pete turned to her for a second and replied, “Sure,” while Mary and Jimmy nodded their heads in agreement. She would wait until tomorrow morning to let them know she was not going. If they decided they didn’t want to go, she could not force them. Otherwise, their memories would be vivid and unpleasant, and they might slip and tell Lionel. Addy tossed and turned all night. What if the kids changed their minds about going? Bless Caroline; at least she had tried.

The next morning, Jimmy asked, “Hey, Mom, are we still going to the zoo today?”

Addy rarely fibbed, but she said, “You know, I had coffee after dinner and didn’t sleep a wink last night. Would you feel comfortable going with Greg’s sister Caroline, her kids, and Allison?”

“What about Greg?” Jimmy queried.

Again, another lie. “Well, I think he’s going too.”

“Sure Mom, stay home and rest. You always work so hard,” Pete decided aloud.

Bless you, my dear Peter.

At one o’clock, Caroline arrived at the door with her two children, Alex and Sarah. They appeared to be nice kids, just like Allison and Addy’s children. As the kids looked each other over, she sensed excitement from her three. This was not only their first vacation, but every day provided a new adventure. As the kids walked over to Caroline’s car, Mary asked with concern, “Where’s Greg?”

“My daddy has an appointment today,” said Allison proudly, “but he said I can go with you guys.”

Mary readily accepted Allison’s reply, while Caroline said, “Pile in troops. We’re off to York.”

Caroline looked back at Addy, and out of earshot of the children said, “Stop worrying. I’ll take good care of them and will feed them dinner. Greg and you relax and have fun.”

The decisive moment had arrived. Caroline, Greg, and she had all lied just to arrange some kind of clandestine rendezvous for Addy and Greg. Shame consumed Addy for a moment.

What the hell are you thinking? All you wanted to do was kiss him.

Maybe that was all Greg wanted, too. Or maybe he wanted no part of kissing her. Maybe he was a devout Catholic. Lost in her reverie, Addy was startled when Greg suddenly appeared at the door.

“Hi, Addy,” he said rather shyly. “Don’t mind my sister. She’s always worried that I spend too much time alone so she’s up to her old matchmaking tricks. I told her you probably have a husband, but she didn’t care, so here I am. How about having lunch with me?”

Addy breathed a sigh of relief. Lunch. She would not have to get undressed after all. Her heart beat joyously.

“Sure, just let me change.”

“Oh you can wear what you have on, if you like. The Gray Gull is casual at this time of day.”

Greg never mentioned another word about her having a husband. They were simply two parents who needed a respite from their kids. The waiter at the Gray Gull led them to a table with a view of the ocean. Greg suggested she order the pecan-crusted haddock, one of the specialties of the house, if she liked fish. They both ordered that dish, and Greg asked, “Do you like white wine with fish?” Lying again, Addy said she did.

Addy cut up her salad nervously, hoping not to have a long leaf of lettuce hanging from her mouth if Greg looked over at her. As they ate, they talked about where they had gone to college and what majors they had chosen. Addy was ashamed to tell him she had never used her English and Journalism major, nor had she ever fulfilled her dream of opening a bakery. She let him do most of the talking.

“I had a double major at Boston College--architecture and THEOLOGY. Strange combination, right?”

Addy suddenly felt girlish and witty. “Not really. Architects build structures and theologians build beliefs.” Oh God. What a stupid thing to say. He must think I am a complete ass.

Greg chuckled. “My parents wanted me to be a priest, and I even considered it for a while. I never wanted to be a parish priest, though … more like a Benedictine monk. But, the draw of the flesh was too strong for me … I ended up getting married,” he laughed aloud.

Convinced the next question out of his mouth would be, “Are you married?” Addy quickly thought of something to keep him from uttering those dreaded words.

“Do you believe in God, Greg?”

Greg looked surprised at first, pondered for a moment, and then responded, “You know, Addy, I do. I was brought up Catholic and have made it my business to deconstruct the dogmas of the Catholic Church. There are so many tenets I disagree with.”

Addy instantly replied, “Me too.”

“Yet,” Greg continued, “when I look at the beauty of the ocean or the stars at the beach at night, I can’t help but think there is an inscrutable force at work in the universe. I once read that for humans to question God is like pairing up a baby with Einstein to discuss the theory of relativity.”

What an insightful image, Addy thought, smiling at Greg shyly.

By this time, the waiter brought them the dessert menu, and Greg suggested they order coffee and the apple crisp.

Addy felt obligated to belittle herself about her weight and say, “Like I need dessert.”

She wanted Greg to know that she was fully aware of her fatness and that she should not be, and was not always, fat.

Greg brushed aside her comment saying, “Women worry too much about weight. As for me, I prefer a more Rubenesque woman. String beans just don’t appeal to me.”

Addy felt a load lifted from her shoulders. Maybe he actually found her body attractive.

After enjoying homemade apple crisp with ice cream and coffee with Addy, Greg asked the waitress for the check. Smiling, he turned to Addy and said, “Ready to go?”

Both were quiet and nervous during the ride back home. Greg finally said, “Addy, it was warm in that restaurant, wasn’t it?”

Addy agreed. Although the windows at the Gray Gull had been wide open, it was a humid day.

“I’m going to stop at my house and jump in the shower. Would you like to stop over at my place in a bit?” Greg inquired innocently. Addy felt her throat closing. Was she allergic to haddock?

She managed to utter softly, “Sure. I think I will take a shower, too.”

They both returned to their respective homes. As soon as she unlocked the door, Addy raced for the bathroom. Was she going to throw up from anxiety? STOP IT. She would never want Greg to smell vomit on her. Shaking with apprehension and excitement, she stood under the warm shower, making sure she scrubbed her sweaty body over and over again. She feared she may not be fresh “down there,” so she grabbed the bottle of “My Sin by Lanvin” from Mrs. O’Malley’s vanity and guiltily sprayed it between her legs. Now she had even stooped to stealing perfume, but the spritz of perfume aroused her. Whatever she might be about to do may cost her life, but for one selfish moment, she didn’t care. She had dreamed only of kissing Greg. Now she wished he would passionately consume her. She knew he was not capable of ravaging her in a cruel way. He would surely be tender like the men about whom she had read.

She put on her yellow sundress, which actually felt loose on her, and walked over to Greg’s. He was sitting on his sofa wearing only white Bermuda shorts. Addy gazed at his naked, tanned triangular upper body and sat down next to him. Neither of them spoke. He looked at her longingly, taking her face in his hands and sweetly began kissing her mouth and eyelids. Passion swelled and overwhelmed them both … two lonely, unlucky people. How could this one blissful moment be wrong? Addy responded boldly to his kisses, by thrusting her tongue in his mouth. He returned the kiss passionately, touching her full breasts and then reaching up under her sundress. Greg stopped and took Addy by the hand, leading her to the bedroom. Addy was afraid. What if she didn’t know how to perform the act of love? She had always kept her mind tightly shut, detachedly leaving her body, when Lionel had sex with her. LIONEL? Get the fuck out of here, monster … pig. I wish you were dead.

Addy focused her body, mind, and soul on Greg. He removed her sundress, bra, and underpants; removed his shorts; pulled back the bedclothes; and guided Addy to lie down on her back. What he did next was something Addy had never known. First, he tenderly kissed her erect nipples, calling her name, “Oh Addy, Addy.”

His lips moved slowly down her body, kissing her all over, until he reached her vagina. Oh God, I hope I smell and taste good, Addy worried.

He kissed her there with such gusto, as if he was really enjoying it, using his tongue and mouth to savor her juices. She became wetter and wetter. He kissed her again on the mouth, and she could taste her intimacy on his lips. Having never experienced this before, Addy lost herself in white heat. Greg’s penis was hard, and he entered her cautiously. He moved slowly, and Addy’s body moved in rhythm with his. How did she know how to do this so naturally? Greg then pulled his penis out and returned to savoring her vagina with his tongue. Time stood still, as he became more and more aroused, gently thrusting his penis back into her vagina. Both of them began moving as one, entering a dimension of ecstasy she had never before visited. Simultaneously, the two lovers cried out in joyous rapture, while Greg’s copious sperm filled Addy. Fluid exploded from her as well.

Wrapped in a coverlet of ecstasy, Addy thought, this must be an orgasm. Greg pushed her hair back from her face and looked deeply into her eyes, drinking her in … Addy, with all her pain and flaws ... Addy, the unlucky girl … Addy, the wounded spirit. Addy tried to suppress her sobs. Looking alarmed, Greg asked, “What’s wrong? Oh, Addy, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

Looking sincerely into Greg’s eyes, Addy said, “Oh no. You made such beautiful love to me. I have never known such love.”

Greg got a warm washcloth from the bathroom and tenderly sponged off Addy. An urge came over Addy, and she found herself at Greg’s penis, licking it, sucking it, and pushing it gently down her throat. Yes, she did know how to do this, but with Lionel, she hated it. He would push her face hard against his penis, choking her. Greg lay back and closed his eyes. Almost immediately, his penis swelled again, and he reveled in the sensations of Addy’s lips and tongue on his penis. Greg tasted sweet, and Addy wanted to pleasure him forever. He suddenly drew his penis out of her mouth and placed it in her vagina. Once again, they moved in unison, and once again, they exploded in orgasmic pleasure.

Greg placed Addy’s head on his chest. Neither of them spoke. There was no regret, no shame, and no thought. They silently embraced one another for what seemed like an eternity.

Addy suddenly realized that the room had grown dimmer.

“Oh, Greg. Caroline will be bringing the kids back any time now. We better check the time.”

Tragically, it was already after six o’clock … time for Cinderella to run away from the prince.

Greg asked Addy if she would like to take a shower with him. This was another first for her. She loved how Greg soaped her body up as if she was his baby.

After they got dressed, they went into the living room and sat on the sofa, gazing at one another.

“Whew,” Greg said, “we just made it. Addy, I know this is probably the wrong time to ask you, but do you have a husband?”

Addy felt as if she would heave. She lowered her eyes, and said, “Yes.”

A shadow fell over Greg’s face, but he continued, “Is he good to you?”

As her eyes filled with tears, Addy answered in a small voice, “No. Not at all.”

Looking angry, Greg asked, “Does he hurt you?”

Addy shook her head “yes.”

“Does he hurt the kids, too?”

Addy shook her head “no.”

“You know, Addy, ever since I first met you, I’ve noticed a sad look in your eyes, and I suspected something was wrong. What are you going to do?”

Addy shrugged her shoulders forlornly. “I don’t know. I just don’t know. I’m afraid if I leave him, he will find me and kill me. He threatens me all the time.”

“Addy, you have to get away from him somehow. You are too wonderful a woman to live like that …”

Addy couldn’t listen anymore and said, “I have to go now, Greg. Thank you for being so kind.”

Greg took her in his arms and protested, “No, Addy. It’s you who have been kind to me. I have to help you. I want to figure out a way to help you.”

Greg walked Addy back to her house. Embracing her, he gave her one last kiss. She couldn’t speak. She did not want to cry; she wanted to be brave and happy so that Greg would see her as a strong woman. Lost in thought, Greg walked slowly back to his house. How could he rescue this sweet woman from the clutches of a beast?

Just as Addy sat down on the sofa, Caroline arrived at the door. The kids looked happy and spoiled. “How was your day?” Addy feigned innocence.

“Great! Fantastic!” they all chimed in.

“After the zoo, Caroline took us to watch the lobster boats bringing in their pots,” said Pete excitedly. Apparently, her kids had gotten along well with Caroline’s.

“How was your day, Mom?” Pete asked innocently.

Calmly, Addy replied, “Restful.”

Caroline caught her eye and grinned with the secret neither she nor her brother would ever reveal.

If Addy had died that night in her sleep, she would have been content. Of course, that wouldn’t be fair to the kids. She didn’t really mean it, but she was so fulfilled. Never in her life on this earth had she felt so complete.

The days of the second week of their vacation flew by. Caroline and her kids, who stayed on to spend the whole week at Greg’s, planned such fun activities every day … barbeques in the yard, badminton, hunting for fireflies at night. Addy had never seen her children so happy. Allison seemed to thrive as well.

Shadows gathered as the days and hours approached six o’clock on Saturday, August 21. That was when this fairytale would end, and Addy’s real life would begin once again. Until then, she and the children soaked up every drop of joy and normalcy. It was foolish, but she felt, yes, someday Greg would rescue her.

Like the grim reaper, Friday inevitably arrived. Lionel would be here tomorrow. After this heavenly vacation, how could Addy return to Connecticut with Lionel? Wouldn’t it be better to be dead? Yes, her sense of hopelessness and despair frequently spawned urges of suicide, but her responsibility to the children saved her. She lived for them alone.

Addy got out of bed, pulled on her robe, stepped into her slippers, and shuffled to the kitchen to make coffee. The kids were still sleeping because they had gone to an outdoor movie in the town square last night. The house was as silent as a chapel. She looked around the O’Malley’s residence, thinking, “Why can’t this be my real life?”

Immediately, her Catholic conscience jumped in, scolding, you should be grateful you even had this vacation. Stop wishing for what you don’t have. That’s coveting. The smell of coffee percolating on the stove drew her back into the moment. Someone was knocking on the door.

Oh, God, thought Addy, panicking. Don’t tell me Lionel has decided to pick us up early.

She went to the door, and there was Greg, holding Nolan’s Doughnut Shop waxed bags in both hands. Everyone who vacationed in Southern Maine knew about Nolan’s. What had started as a small insignificant bakeshop had risen, literally, as an empire of “dough.”

Addy immediately felt self-conscious about being in her bathrobe but laughed to herself, he’s already seen you naked, you fool.

Looking around, Greg saw the kids were nowhere in sight and kissed her on the lips. Addy immediately felt aroused and wished she could lead him into her bedroom this time. He said, “Caroline and the kids are still sleeping so I hoped I could sneak a cup of coffee with you. Mmm … I smell it already. Did you read my mind?”

Although Addy and he had made such passionate love, Addy still blushed when he looked at her. “We’re leaving tomorrow, Greg. I’m so glad you stopped by this morning. Tomorrow I’ll have to start cleaning early, and we wouldn’t have time for coffee together in the morning.”

Greg’s beautiful smile faded as he, too, suddenly realized the halcyon days were ending. He would return to his lonely existence, maybe never to see Addy and her children again. Addy took out two sets of placemats, napkins, cups and saucers, plates, and a large platter for the doughnuts. Simply setting the table for Greg lifted her spirits. Oh, if he were her husband, how she would spoil him. As Greg spread the doughnuts on the platter, he said, “I hope the kids like my selection.”

The doughnuts were still warm, and their sweet smell transported Addy to Sunday mornings after Mass at Sound View Beach. The Italian men woke up very early on those special days, hurrying down to the doughnut shop. It wasn’t a bakery with glass cases but simply a building with a Dutch door. Once all the doughnuts were gone, the door was shut until the next Sunday morning. The Sound View doughnut spot was as successful as Nolan’s, paying for all the Panetti children to go to college.

“They’re perfect,” Addy replied. “I love glazed, Pete loves plain, Jimmy loves jelly, and Mary loves any kind. Thank you so much, Greg. How thoughtful of you.”

Greg got up to pour his own coffee, but Addy insisted, “You sit right there. I’ll get it for you. That’s the least I can do.”

When she picked up his cup to take over to the counter, her hip brushed against his arm. She could finally understand what it means to want to just grab someone and make love to him right on the kitchen floor. Simply brushing by Greg set Addy on fire. How would she ever lie next to Lionel again, awakening to his cruelly pinching her bottom to signal that he wanted sex? She knew Lionel was a brute, but she had never had any other sexual experience for comparison … not until Greg.

She brought Greg’s coffee to him, this time trying not to brush against his arm. Why torture herself? The kids would be awake any minute. Greg had no sooner placed a glazed doughnut on his plate, than Jimmy came out of his room, rubbing his eyes.

“Doughnuts!” he shouted.

Greg and Addy glanced at each other across the table. They knew they had enjoyed their last quiet moment together. Shortly, Pete and Mary were awake, pouring orange juice and picking over the doughnuts. For the first time in the lives of her children, Addy resented them. Why had they stirred and spoiled her last precious seconds with Greg?

Greg said, “Well, I had better be getting back to my place.”

“Take the rest of the doughnuts with you,” Addy insisted.

“Are you kidding? I have two more bags for our brood in the car. You guys enjoy them.”

Addy reminded the kids to thank Greg. She knew all three of her children had become very fond of this special man and his daughter. Greg was easygoing, patient, funny, kind, nurturing … all the things their father was not.

In a melancholy tone, Mary asked, “Will I see you again before we leave tomorrow?

“Of course,” Greg answered cheerily. “Why don’t you come over today and play with Allison?”

Mary beamed. The weather was cloudy, and it looked like rain. Allison loved Mary; they got along so well.

“May I, Mom?”

“Certainly,” Addy replied. “Your things are so organized; you can just get them together tonight. “Will you help me scrub the cottage before your father comes tomorrow?”

“I love to clean,” Mary answered.

Not to be outdone, the boys said, “We’ll help, too.”

Addy smiled at Greg, proud that he knew what good kids she had. Greg smiled back. He pounced toward Jimmy, tickling him, snarling in a pretend sinister voice, “You kids better help or I’ll put you in a lobster trap for bait.”

Jimmy squealed and Mary ran screaming, pretending to be scared.

Pete said wryly, “Hey … at least you would get to stay in Maine.”

Addy and the children had fallen in love, not only with Maine, but also with the simple, cheerful glimpse of life Greg and Caroline had given them. Greg said once again, “I had better get going; the doughnuts are probably melting all over the seat as we speak.”

Hesitating, Greg thought for a moment ... “Hey, I have an idea. Since it’s not a nice beach day, why don’t you all clean up part of the house today? The weather is supposed to clear up by this evening, and there may be a starry sky. How about if I make a bonfire on the beach? We can roast hotdogs and marshmallows.”

The boys looked at each other in amazement. A bonfire on the beach? They had had a brief stint with the Boy Scouts, but the only time they went camping, it rained, and the Scout leader could not make a fire. They had to eat the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches they had brought just in case.

Mary looked worried, “Will I still be able to play with Allison today?”

“Why not?” Addy answered, feigning cheerfulness.

She wondered if Greg was planning the bonfire to spend his last evening with her. At least that is what she hoped. Her self-confidence had left her long ago. In fact, she never really had any self-confidence. She still could not fathom that Greg had chosen to make love to her. Maybe he was just a lonely seducer; an opportunistic rogue. Oh my God, Addy. What a fool you’ve made of yourself. How could you have ever thought this gorgeous man actually found you attractive?

Greg’s deep voice roused Addy from her masochistic reverie when he said, “Will that be OK with you, Addy?”

Narrowly escaping from her coma of self-hatred, Addy looked up, her eyes meeting his sincere gaze. Why couldn’t she trust that Greg was for real? He had proven his honesty and goodness so many times during this vacation. There was a sense of urgency in Greg’s words; almost as if he were pleading with her to say, “Yes.” Perhaps he really did want to spend their last evening together. Addy returned his look and an overwhelming feeling of love rose unexpectedly from her heart. She couldn’t hide her yearning.

“Oh, Greg,” she said, almost in tears, “you think of the nicest things to do. We would love a bonfire on the beach.”

Greg smiled with relief. “Great! Caroline and I will get all the food, so don’t worry about anything except getting the house ready to pack up. Bring a blanket and some bug spray, and we’ll be good to go. See you around 7:30.”

Picturing herself seated next to Greg on a star-lit beach inspired Addy to get busy. The boys hurried to their room, looking around in confusion, not knowing where to begin. They didn’t even complain that Mary wasn’t cleaning. Addy had always had to guide the boys about housework. Admittedly, she had let the boys mess up their room all they wanted because Lionel was not there to bark orders.

“Don’t worry, boys. I’ll help. First, gather up the toys, games, and books and put them in the laundry basket we brought them in,” Addy assured Jimmy and Pete.

There was a washing machine in the house so Addy had kept up pretty well with the laundry, thank God. She told the boys to collect their dirty clothes and put them in the basket near the washer.

The day flew by. Mary had lunch at Allison’s, while Addy and the boys stopped cleaning for only fifteen minutes, just enough time to gobble down sandwiches for lunch. The refrigerator was filled with groceries, but Addy would give them to Caroline and Greg. They had been so generous; how could she ever repay them?

When Addy dusted the fireplace mantel, she could finally look at Charlie’s family photos. Yes, maybe they had a happy life; yet, the thought of their happiness did not stab her in her heart as it did when she had first seen the pictures. Although too brief, Addy had a taste of what it might be like to have a loving husband, and even if she never saw Greg again, she would carry him in her heart forever. Her whole being was suddenly flooded with the light of gratitude. When she had first arrived in Maine, she was a zombie, going through the motions of living but possessing no soul. She had never found solace in religion, at least not the religion force-fed to her. The glow of thankfulness emanated from her spirit, stretching out in all directions, kissing the universe. Her soul … had it returned? Was there a compassionate side to the Catholic God she had rejected so long ago?

When she was in college and began to question her faith, Addy read extensively in philosophy and religion. One of her free-thinking college classmates, Gracie Steer, suggested the controversial course, “The Bible in Literature,” offered by the brilliant professor, Richard Berridge. Dr. Berridge encouraged his students to dig beneath the surface. Amazingly, Addy learned that Herman Melville had drawn deeply upon the King James Version of the Bible when he wrote Moby Dick. In fact, the work was an allegory representing the author’s tormented search for God.

When Addy mentioned some of the things she was learning in college, the aunts were appalled. Every good Catholic knew the Bible was solely for priests, and the King James Version was for Protestants. Addy could not understand why the readings and gospels at Mass were from the Bible, yet the laity was discouraged from even touching a Bible. Sometimes the aunts regretted having sent Addy to college, but they knew that was what Addy’s parents wanted.

For college graduation, Gracie presented Addy with a beautifully framed illuminated script printed in calligraphy with these words from Philippians 4:8 (KJV):

Whatsoever things are true,

Whatsoever things are honest,

Whatsoever things are just,

Whatsoever things are pure,

Whatsoever things are lovely,

Whatsoever things are of good report,

If there be any virtue,

And if there be any praise,

Think on these things.

The idealistic college-aged Addy treasured that framed quotation and tried to live her life by its words. Her aunts viewed Lionel as the good Catholic knight who had come along to rescue Addy from blasphemous philosophy. After Addy married Lionel, she eventually stored the framed Bible verse in the basement along with all the other things that were once so precious to her: classical records; volumes of poetry by Blake, Emerson, Whitman, even Rilke. The words of these masters illumed her heart and soul … they were messages spanning time … celebrating the beauty and mystery of life. There were her art books … paintings by Botticelli, Cassatt, Cezanne, Degas, Rembrandt, and Van Gogh. Lionel thought interest in “old” things was senseless, so gradually Addy’s prized books and other possessions relating to the masters wound up in the mold of the basement.

As she stood in the kitchen of Charlie O’Malley’s home in Wells, Maine, far from Lionel and Chester, Connecticut, Addy closed her eyes and saw Lionel before her. She imagined she had a whip in her hands and was striking Lionel repeatedly, shouting, “You bastard. You ruined me. I was once smart, pure, good … you raped my body and mind … my filthy life with you stole my beauty.” As she whipped Lionel violently in her fantasy, Pete asked her a question. Addy came to and answered him. She still wished Lionel’s plane from Denver would crash or maybe he would get into a car wreck while he was driving to Maine to pick them up.

Everything suddenly became clear: Greg embodied those qualities described in the illuminated script. Although the Church and the world would accuse her of the sin of adultery, Addy felt just the opposite. Greg’s lovemaking made her feel clean and worthy for the first time since she had married Lionel. In spite of the hardships he was facing, Greg maintained noble qualities. He was not bitter or broken. Maybe he prayed to a God who gave him strength, courage, and peace. If only she could hold on to the optimism Greg stimulated in her.

Around seven o’clock, Caroline came over to sew up some details about the evening’s “Good-bye” bonfire. “Wow,” she exclaimed, “this place is sparkling! I’ll bet it’s cleaner now than when you came.”

Addy laughed, winking at her sons. “I couldn’t have done it without these guys.”

Caroline was a perceptive woman; she had observed the sadness in Addy’s eyes. Nothing in the world would make her happier than to see her brother Greg get together with Addy. Caroline knew Addy had a husband, but she also sensed this guy was not worthy of Addy. Greg and Addy deserved each other. Caroline’s heart ached momentarily thinking about her brother up here in Maine alone with Allison and Addy returning to God-knows-what in Connecticut.

“The picnic basket is all packed, and Greg’s down at the beach collecting driftwood for the fire. Mary, Allison, and my two are walking down to help him. Can your boys come now?” Caroline asked.

Panicking, Addy said, “I’m not quite ready. I still have to take a shower after all this cleaning.” Addy suspected Caroline, as always, planned this move so Addy could dress in peace. Dear, kind, Caroline ... she was so much like Greg. Caroline must have known Addy wanted to take her time getting ready to look her best for Greg on this last night of her vacation.

The boys were eager to go with Caroline. Addy looked around--the place was shining--just as it had when they arrived. All she would have to do tomorrow is wash the bed linens and towels, and maybe a few breakfast dishes. She suddenly had an idea. Lionel had given her a few extra dollars for food, but Greg had paid for almost everything so Addy still had money left over. If she and the kids ate lunch at the Sea Side Grill, they wouldn’t mess up the kitchen before leaving.

Whoops … lost in thoughts again, and it was almost 7:15. She went to her bathroom in the master suite to shower and dared to look at her naked body in the full-length mirror she had avoided. Greg saw this, she thought, so maybe I should look. Her body was not as bad as all that. Granted her breasts sagged from nursing the kids; her stomach protruded, and her thighs were just plain fat. Yet, overall, she still had somewhat of an hourglass shape. For the first time in longer than she could remember, she did not hate her body completely. After all, hadn’t this same form participated in sublime pleasure?

Addy lathered herself all over with a bar of pink Camay soap … then fretted …. What if the mosquitoes eat me alive? Stop worrying, Addy. You have to smell enticing. She washed her hair with Breck shampoo then dabbed herself again with “My Sin” after the bath. The shampoo and perfume actually belonged to Mrs. O’Malley, but Addy used just a little. In addition, Charlie had told Lionel everything in the house was for their enjoyment.

Addy dressed in a long-sleeve white oxford shirt and pair of blue dungarees. When she glanced at herself in the mirror, the woman staring back at her was not Addy at all. Instead, here was an attractive woman, face tinged pink with sunburn, auburn wisps of curls framing her slim face. Yes, slim. When Addy first arrived in Maine, she felt so fat and ugly; delighted her new dungarees fit, she believed she had lost weight without even trying.

When she arrived at the beach, to which she could now walk without gasping, everyone was there. The kids had gathered plenty of firewood; the blankets and beach chairs were set up around the fire pit. In addition to the picnic basket, Greg and Caroline had brought big thermos bottles, one filled with coffee, the other, with wine. Now the adults could “tie one on” without the kids noticing. Addy, Caroline, and Greg knew this was their “good-bye” party, and they intended to celebrate. By the time the fire got going really well, it was around 8:30. The kids helped Greg find long green sticks, and he whittled the ends of the sticks to a point with his jackknife.