Читать книгу Meet Me under the Mistletoe - Julianna Morris - Страница 11

Shannon let herself into the condo and tossed her purse onto the couch before plugging in the lights on the Christmas tree. She had to be out of her mind even to have considered offering to babysit.

“Me, babysitting. Hah!”

Yet even as she scolded herself, she remembered Jeremy McKenzie’s solemn blue eyes and a familiar ache filled her. She’d been eight when her father died, leaving her confused and hurt. The thought of Jeremy feeling the same way tore at her heart.

“I’m not the motherly type,” she muttered. She couldn’t change a diaper or even heat a can of soup, though Jeremy was surely old enough not to need diapers any longer. Even that she wasn’t certain about, though she was pretty sure most kids were potty-trained by the time they were two or three. How old were her twin nieces when they’d stopped needing diapers? It was embarrassing to realize she didn’t know. They were her nieces, and she loved them dearly. Sinking into the chair next to the phone, Shannon dialed her youngest sister.

“Hey, Kathleen. When did Amy and Peggy get potty-trained?” she asked without preamble.

“Shannon?”

“Yes. How old were they?”

“Er…not quite two.”

Two. Well, that was good. Undoubtedly kids developed differently, but Jeremy was probably past that stage. Not that it mattered. Alex McKenzie hadn’t given any sign of being interested in her, so she wasn’t likely to see much of either him or his son.

It was so depressing. Her love life was a disaster area. She wanted an honest relationship with the right man, but what if the “right” man didn’t want someone like her?

“What’s up, Shannon?”

She shrugged, though her sister couldn’t see the gesture. “A little boy moved in next door, that’s all. He’s really cute, and I started thinking about diapers and stuff. It doesn’t mean anything, except I got curious.”

“Are you sure that’s all?”

“Positive.”

Shannon said good-bye and dropped the receiver with disgust. It had to be her biological clock ticking that made her ask stupid questions. She was twenty-eight years old and unmarried—and unlikely ever to be married at the rate she was going, so of course her clock was screaming.

Shaking her head, Shannon walked up to the bedroom to change into a pair of sweats and then began to run on the treadmill in her spare room.

She had a great family, a terrific job, made plenty of money, and was perfectly comfortable, she told herself in time with her steps. It wasn’t the end of the world if the love of her life never showed up. Of course, it was hard to keep believing that with the rest of the world obsessed with love, and her own family acting as if Cupid had gone target-happy with his bow and arrows. Even Neil, her brother who had once equated marriage with the plague, had fallen off the deep end. So now Neil had Libby. Her oldest brother, Kane, had Beth and baby daughter, Robin. Patrick had Maddie and their new son, Jarod. Dylan and his wife, Kate, were expecting a baby. Only her youngest brother, Connor, was still unattached. Of course, her sisters weren’t married, though Kathleen was divorced. Shannon grimaced at the thought of Kathleen’s ex-husband. There were worse things than being single…like having a cheating spouse who’d run off when you were almost nine months pregnant with twins.

A half hour later the doorbell rang and Shannon stopped the machine. She wiped her face with a towel, grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and took a swig on her way to the door.

“Who is that?” she called on her way downstairs to the door.

She peeped through the curtain and gulped at the sight of Alex and Jeremy McKenzie.

“Isn’t this just perfect?” she mumbled. Her face was flushed, her hair damp, and she was wearing an old pair of sweats. Well, it couldn’t be helped, so she lifted her chin and squared her shoulders as she opened the door. You could get through the worst situation by acting as if you owned the world.

“Hi.”

“Hello.” Alex’s velvet-rough voice rubbed over her edgy nerves like a silky cat. “Jeremy wanted to be sure you weren’t mad at us.”

Mad?

Shannon thought for a moment, then recalled the way Alex had seemed to mock Kane, her darling oldest brother. She was willing to give him a second chance, especially with Jeremy looking at her with that anxious expression in his eyes.

“I’m not mad,” she said, looking down at Jeremy and smiling. He really was the dearest child, with such a sweet, sad, worried little face. No wonder her scant motherly instincts were clamoring for attention. How could anyone fail to adore him?

“It’s for you,” Jeremy said, holding out a poinsettia wrapped in green foil and banded by a big gold ribbon and bow. “Can we come in?”

“Of course you may,” Shannon said over Alex’s attempts to shush his son. She stepped back and raised an eyebrow.

“Thank you,” Alex muttered.

“Oooh,” exclaimed Jeremy. He’d marched into the center of the living room, and stared transfixed at the Christmas tree, winking and glowing in the corner.

Alex understood his son’s fascination. It was a great tree, and at its base a small train ran around and around a miniature Victorian town at the foot of a snowy mountain. The houses were lit, ice-skaters twirled around a silver lake, and even the small street lamps twinkled.

“Sorry about how I look, you caught me exercising,” Shannon said. She made no attempt at feminine fussing, and since she was flat-out beautiful with her healthy flush and sexy, mussed hair, it wasn’t necessary.

“You look fine,” Alex muttered.

In the soft glow from the Christmas tree her hair was a deep rich auburn, and he had a crazy urge to run his fingers through the silken strands, to discover if it was as soft as it looked. It occurred to him that she might not be a natural redhead since there wasn’t a freckle in sight on her peach complexion, but he shoved the thought away. Whether she was or wasn’t didn’t concern him. And he’d certainly never see the proof.

“Well…thanks for the plant,” Shannon said. She put it by the fireplace, smiling at Jeremy as he tore his gaze away from the tree. “This is so pretty. Did you pick it out all by yourself?”

“Uh-huh,” he said.

“That was nice of you. You got the best poinsettia I’ve ever seen.”

Jeremy’s smile was like sunshine, and Alex blinked. Where was his shy little boy? The grief-stricken, barely talking, rabbit-clutching four-year-old?

“Mr. Tibbles said to get that one.”

“You and Mr. Tibbles have good taste.” She glanced at Alex. “I don’t keep many treats around the house, but are lemon drops on the okay list?”

“They’re fine,” he agreed, still bemused.

Shannon took a crystal dish from the mantel and removed the lid before offering its contents to Jeremy. Soon his son was sucking on lemon sours and playing with the controls of the train gliding around the extravagant Christmas tree. Steam even came from the top of the engine when a button was pressed on the control panel. Jeremy seemed to enjoy that part especially, along with the train’s abrupt stops and starts.

Alex warned Jeremy to be careful, but Shannon seemed unconcerned that the expensive set might be in danger.

“It’s all right,” she said. “Would you like some soda?”

“We don’t want to be any trouble.”

“If you were trouble, I’d tell you.”

Undoubtedly she would. Shannon O’Rourke was direct, self-assured and definitely wouldn’t pussyfoot around. She was also the walking, talking embodiment of everything he’d avoided his entire life—an explosion of emotion and passion wrapped up in flame-colored hair and flashing eyes.

“Tell you what,” she said. “If you haven’t eaten dinner yet, we can order some pizza. I’m out of milk for Jeremy, but maybe they can bring some with the delivery.”

He wanted to say no. He even opened his mouth to say no, only one look at his son’s ecstatic face changed his mind. Jeremy loved pizza, but his mother had declared it was unhealthy for children, so they’d rarely eaten any. Come to think of it, he wasn’t sure why Kim had disapproved of restaurant and take-out food so much, but she had.

“That sounds good,” he agreed. “But it’s my treat.”

“Whatever. The phone’s over there with the phone book, so go ahead and order. I’m going upstairs to change.”

“Any preferences?”

“No anchovies, that’s all.” She glanced at Jeremy. He looked hopeful, and she tried to guess what he might be wishing his daddy would order. “How about one of those dessert pizzas, too? One with lots of sugar and stuff on top.” Jeremy’s face turned blissful and she winked at him.

Shannon climbed the staircase to her bedroom and willed her heart to stop beating so fast. She’d figured the post office was the last close contact she’d get with Alex McKenzie and his son, but now they were in her living room and her pulse was doing the Macarena.

She took a quick shower, then pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweater. Her footsteps were muffled on the thickly carpeted stairs, so when she descended to the living room, she was able to observe Alex and his son without them being aware of her presence.

With a quiet sigh she sat on a step and watched.

The two of them were lying on their stomachs, side by side, gazing at the tree and the train set her decorator sister, Miranda, had arranged for her a few days after Thanksgiving. This year, Miranda had outdone herself, creating a Victorian holiday wonderland out of the living room.

“Choo, choo!” crowed Jeremy as the train chugged through the tunnel in the snowcapped mountain.

He was darling, yet it was Alex who drew her gaze the longest, his jeans pulled taut over long, strong legs and a tight rear end. He didn’t look like any college professor she’d ever studied with, or else she would have paid more attention in class. His rugged good looks had probably turned engineering into a very popular subject—with the female students, at least.

Shannon’s eyes drifted half-closed as she imagined what it would be like to be married to someone like Alex.

It was a great fantasy, but reality kept intruding. Alex had said his wife had loved baking and doing crafts and making Christmas special; he’d probably be shocked that she had her home professionally decorated every year and couldn’t bake a cookie to save her life. Even Shannon’s mother had declared defeat in teaching her eldest daughter how to cook.

The doorbell rang and she jumped up.

“That must be our pizza,” she said brightly.

They ate in front of the tree, sitting cross-legged and using the napkins provided by the delivery guy.

“Mommy didn’t let us eat pizza,” Jeremy said after a while, then looked even more worried than before.

“She didn’t?” It seemed odd, but there might have been reasons Shannon knew nothing about, like allergies or another problem.

“Uh-uh.” He glanced quickly at his father, then carefully put his crust down on a napkin. “I get afraid, ’cause I don’t r’member her so good anymore.”

Alex looked pained, and Shannon bit the inside of her lip. Jeremy had been so young when his mother died, it was inevitable his memories were fading.

She put her forefinger over Jeremy’s heart, the way her own mother used to do when her youngest sister had worried about forgetting their father.

“You’ll always remember her in here,” she said softly. “That’s the most important kind of remembering. Your mommy is always right here, so you don’t need to be afraid.”

The youngster seemed to think about it, then nodded, looking more cheerful. His father handed him a piece of dessert pizza and they ate in silence until Jeremy looked up, his expression brightening.

“Daddy, I bet if Shannon was my new mommy, we could eat pizza whenever we wanted.”

Shannon inhaled a crumb and choked. Between coughing, thumps on the back from Alex and her eyes tearing, the moment passed without either of them having to say anything.

Cripes.

How did you handle a remark like that?

“I think it’s time for us to go home,” Alex said when her windpipe had finally cleared. His face had become closed. “We’ve imposed long enough on Miss O’Rourke.”

“But, Daddy, we—”

“It’s time to go, son.”

Jeremy’s mouth turned down mutinously, but he didn’t object again. Shannon insisted they take the last of the pizza, and she sank against the door as she closed it behind them, exhausted.

She didn’t know what the expression on Alex’s face had meant, but he obviously did not share his son’s enthusiasm for getting a new mommy. He didn’t know her well enough to object to her personally, so it must be the idea of marrying again that had him feeling grief or guilt or another of the thousand emotions a widower must feel.

Not that it mattered. She just wanted to help Jeremy.

Right?

But as Shannon gathered up the crumpled napkins and put the dirty glasses in the sink, she couldn’t shake the melancholy that had overtaken her. It was painfully obvious she was attracted to old-fashioned men, no matter what she’d told herself about wanting a modern guy with modern attitudes. And Alex McKenzie made her nerve endings stand at attention more than any man she’d met in recent memory.

It doesn’t matter one way or the other, she told herself. Men usually were drawn to the same kind of woman, and from the little she’d learned about Alex’s dead wife, she wasn’t the least bit like her.

“I’m going back to work,” Shannon told Kane a few days later. Her brother and his wife, Beth, had come to their mother’s house for a visit and she’d joined them, more on edge than ever. Not that seeing her brother had helped. Kane’s blissfully happy marriage was another reminder of how alone she felt.

“I don’t think so.”

“Kane, I want—”

“You’ve been stressed out, you need to relax,” Kane interrupted. He finished diapering his daughter and lifted the baby to his shoulder. Robin looked even tinier against his broad chest, and something inside Shannon ached with renewed force. It was yet another reminder of everything she wanted, and couldn’t seem to get.

“I’m fine.”

“You can’t spend your entire life working,” Kane pointed out. His advice would have sounded reasonable except that before he’d gotten married he used to work more hours than she’d ever thought of putting into the company.

Shannon’s mother patted her arm. “That’s right, darlin’.” Her Irish accent lilted, never quite lost despite the years she’d spent away from her native land.

“I’m fine. It’s being on a forced vacation that’s driving me crazy.”

That, and thinking about the McKenzies.

She’d realized that Alex’s bedroom was on the other side of the wall from hers, and that knowledge was keeping her awake nights. The walls were too well insulated to hear his bed creak, but she heard other faint sounds and couldn’t help wondering about certain things.

Innocent things.

Such as…did he sleep nude at night?

Yeah, that was innocent.

Perfectly innocent.

It had been awhile since she’d thought about a man that way. Her last relationship had turned into such a disaster that she’d become frozen. Now she was thawing, and it was just her luck that a guaranteed heartbreak was the reason.

“You’re still on vacation,” Kane said calmly. He rubbed the baby’s back and smiled at Shannon’s frustrated expression.

“You can’t be so arbitrary just because I’m your sister.”

“I’d do the same for any executive with signs of burn-out. You’re still getting paid, so what’s the big deal?”

“I am not burned-out.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

Shannon swallowed.

After their father had died, she’d decided she would be the tough one, the one who teased and laughed and smiled when she didn’t feel like smiling. If she had trouble at school, she braved things out. If her heart got broken, she turned it into a joke—just so long as nobody found her crying in bed and upsetting her family. Over the years she’d perfected a breezy veneer that made everyone think she was impervious to the usual hurts and disappointments. She was an expert on putting on a good face; now was the time to prove it.

“Nothing is wrong,” Shannon said, waving her hand. “It’s the holiday season and people slack off. I must have gone overboard trying to keep my staff geared up for any problems that might happen.”

Kane nodded, his gaze searching her face. He didn’t seem entirely convinced, though he appeared less concerned than before. “All right. But I promised everyone they’d have another few days without the dragon lady, so you’ll have to stay away longer.”

She wrinkled her nose, making certain none of her frustration showed. “Dragon lady? Thanks a bunch. Is it too late for me to cancel a few Christmas bonuses?”

He chuckled. “Way too late.”

Shannon kept things light through lunch, working to get her mother, brother and sister-in-law laughing. But it was a relief when she pulled out of her mother’s driveway, escaping their watchful gazes. She drove for a long time, up into the hills, finally swinging by Neil’s house.

She frowned as she tapped her fingers on the steering wheel and gazed at the modern log structure. She would have sworn that Neil, of all her brothers, would never get married and live outside the city, but he’d fallen for Libby like a ton of bricks. Two tons.

Sighing, Shannon headed home, deciding not to call Neil and his wife.

A winter sunset burned pink and gold on the western horizon as she finally pulled into her driveway, but she didn’t have time to appreciate it before Jeremy flew across the yard, waving madly with one arm, the other clutching Mr. Tibbles.

An involuntary smile curved her mouth.

“Hey, Jeremy,” she said, opening the car door.

“Hey, Shannon.”

They had exchanged a few hellos and good-byes over the past few days, with Alex then hustling his son away with insulting speed. Of course, the speed might have been due to Washington’s beastly winter weather, but it was still a little insulting.

“What have you been up to?” she asked as she got out.

“Daddy ’n’ me are putting up Christmas lights,” Jeremy said solemnly.

She noticed an expandable ladder leaning against the McKenzies’ condo. “That’s nice.”

“But he got hurted and said a bad word.”

Alex had followed his son across the yard, and Shannon glanced at him, trying not to laugh at his chagrined expression. She guessed his injury was relatively minor since there wasn’t any visible blood and no bones were sticking out.

“He did?”

“Uh-huh. He said—”

“Jeremy,” Alex interrupted hastily, “I was wrong to say that in the first place, and it certainly isn’t something to repeat in front of a lady.”

The youngster quieted and clutched Mr. Tibbles even tighter, mumbling an apology, so Shannon smiled and ruffled his hair.

“That’s okay. I’m lucky, I have five brothers to help put up my Christmas lights.” Five brothers with the same sort of old-fashioned views about a “lady’s” delicate ears and sensibilities—all part of the O’Rourke Code they’d been taught by their father. The “Code” was sacred to the male members of the family, much to the frequent frustration of the female members.

“I wish I had a brother,” Jeremy said, sounding wistful.

Oh dear.

Wasn’t wishing he had a brother just one step away from talking about getting a new mommy? Presuming he understood the relationship between the two events.

“I also have three sisters,” Shannon said quickly. “Miranda, Kelly and Kathleen. Miranda and Kelly are twins.”

“Do they like dodgeball?”

Dodgeball? She searched through her memory and vaguely recalled kids standing in a circle, with others in the middle dodging a large red ball.

“Uh, they haven’t played for a while. They’re all grown up.”

Jeremy sighed. “I wanna play dodgeball, but the big kids say I’m too small.”

“That’s too bad, but they probably want to be sure you don’t get hurt accidentally.”

Alex stuck his throbbing thumb in his pocket and watched Shannon O’Rourke charm his son all over again. Jeremy’s gaze was fixed on her adoringly, and he was talking like a normal little boy, rather than a traumatized child.

He’d asked around and learned a great deal about the O’Rourkes since meeting Shannon. People in all walks of life counted them as friends. They were highly respected, were active in church and charity work, and gave generously of both their time and their money. Shannon served on the boards of three foundations and was personally credited with saving an inner-city homeless mission.

No wonder, he thought, staring at her stunning beauty and trademark smile—a smile that said she was ready to take on the world single-handedly. The force of her personality alone was probably enough to save a hundred homeless missions, much less one. She was so…electric.

He smothered a half laugh, remembering the way people had described Shannon as cool and sophisticated. They were blind if they couldn’t see the wildfire beneath that polished surface.

“Hello, Shannon,” he murmured, illogically annoyed that she’d barely noticed him. Once upon a time the opposite sex had found him reasonably attractive.

Yet even as Alex formed the thought, he stomped on it. Shannon O’Rourke might be a beautiful woman, but he’d rather appreciate her beauty from a distance. He didn’t have to own Botticelli’s Birth of Venus to admire the painting.

“Hello.” Shannon smiled. “Are you having trouble putting up your Christmas lights?”

“Some.” Alex flexed his thumb and a sharp throb went through it. He’d been distracted, thinking about Jeremy and the day-care center’s third request for the name and phone number of a backup person to call in case of emergency. He had a babysitter for when the daycare was closed, but except for Shannon, there wasn’t a single person in Washington with whom Jeremy would willingly go if his father wasn’t available. That was the problem. Shannon was good with Jeremy and had an excellent reputation so there wasn’t any reason not to ask…besides wanting to keep that precious distance between them.

Damn.

Around Shannon he felt as if he was being sucked into a whirlpool with no bottom. The sensation reminded him too much of when he was a kid and had no control over his life, or the crazy people masquerading as his parents.

“If you’re hungry, I was going to order some Thai food for dinner,” she said, breaking into his thoughts. “You’re welcome to join me.”

He hesitated.

“Consider it a welcome to the neighborhood,” she said breezily. “I should have brought you cookies or something, but…” Her voice trailed and she shrugged.

That but had some interesting undertones to it. Shannon had a way of saying things that had so many layers of meaning, he could get dizzy trying to figure them out.

“Yeah, you blew your chance of being nominated for the neighborhood welcome party,” he said, trying to sound humorous. “Tami Barton made us a casserole. Naomi Hale did Jell-O salad, and Lisa Steeple brought us a cake. And there’s also been homemade candy, cookies, several kinds of bread and some sort of cheese log rolled in almonds.”

“Let me guess, mostly from the unmarried women in the condo association? I know Naomi, Tami, and Lisa are all unattached.”

Alex frowned, realizing there had been quite a few single women—divorced or never married—knocking on his door lately. It had been the same in Minnesota. After Kim’s death few days had gone by without a knock on the door and a woman standing on the other side. Their culinary offerings had ranged from child-pleasing dishes to gourmet meals. It was one of the reasons he’d come to Seattle, trying to get away from would-be mothers, looking for a ready-made family. Hell. He must have been blind not to see the pattern. Lisa and Naomi had been too friendly, but he’d ignored their flirting the way he’d always ignored feminine overtures that didn’t come from his wife.

A pang went through him as he reminded himself that Kim was gone. He’d never put much thought into the marriage vow “till death do us part.” Women usually lived longer than men, and he’d figured he’d go first. But he hadn’t gone first, and now he had to deal with a reality that didn’t include Kim.

His stomach turned as emotions crawled through it, a reminder of those horrible, empty days after the funeral, when he’d cursed himself and God…and his wife for being human enough to get leukemia and die.

“Alex?”

“Yeah,” he said tightly. “They were mostly single.”

Shannon’s gaze flicked over him, seeming almost as tangible as a touch. “I may be single, but I promise not to bake you any cakes or cookies.”

“Skip the Jell-O salad and casseroles, too, okay?” Alex muttered. He didn’t want anything that reminded him of the food at Kim’s wake.

“I promise.” Once again something unknown flickered in Shannon’s expressive face, but he couldn’t begin to guess at the meaning. “And you can skip the offer of Thai food, if you prefer. I may be single, but I’m not on the prowl like Lisa or the others.”

“What’s ‘on the prowl’?” Jeremy asked.

He was examining them both with his serious eyes, and Alex saw that Shannon was as nonplussed as he was over the question. For some reason it reassured him. She was so darned confident about everything, it was nice to know there were some things she wasn’t certain how to handle.

“It means that Shannon just wants to be our friend,” Alex said.

“That’s right,” she added quickly. “Just friends.”

The emphasis she put on the words drained some of the satisfaction from Alex, which just proved how illogical he could be. The last thing he needed was a neighbor who saw him a potential mate, particularly a neighbor as unsettling as Shannon.