Читать книгу Make A Christmas Wish: A heartwarming, witty and magical festive treat - Julia Williams - Страница 11

Telling Joe I’m off to fetch us a hot drink I go out to the A & E reception desk to ask if there’s any news, but no one can tell me anything. When I’m coming back with a weak hot chocolate for Joe and a tepid coffee for me, I overhear one of the nurses say something about how long they’ve been working on her, and my alarm rises. Oh God, what is happening? One moment I’d been thinking the worst of my problems was facing up to leaving Livvy and now – I seem to be caught in a terrible, unbelievable nightmare. However unhappy we’ve been together, I don’t want anything to happen to Livvy. I feel I am standing on the edge of a swirling abyss, unsure where my future lies.

Guilt, remorse and an overpowering sorrow threaten to overwhelm me but I am trying to hold it together for Joe’s sake. Yet, when he eventually asks, ‘Mum is going to be all right isn’t she?’ I have nothing to offer.

‘I don’t know, Joe,’ I say, sipping my insipid coffee and feeling sick with fear and anxiety. This can’t be happening to Livvy. It just can’t.

But it is. As soon as the nurse comes into the room, I know, without her saying.

I make out the words ‘I’m so sorry,’ but I don’t really hear them, and I’m aware that Joe is rocking back and forth. I try to hug him, but he pushes me away, and then I hear a terrible howl.

It is some moments before I realize it’s coming from me.