Читать книгу Ready for Market - Julie F Sullivan - Страница 4
Letting Go of Clutter
ОглавлениеMary Cate Claudius
Charmed City Organizers
Mary Cate opened her business in 2010 and has helped numerous home owners and businesses live less stressful, more productive lives by decluttering their spaces, schedules and implementing systems that can be maintained for years to come. Mary Cate is a member of the National Association of Professional Organizers and she’s the vice president of the local and APO Baltimore Chapter, and she has served on the board for several years. She has been mentioned in numerous media outlets and highlighted in the Baltimore Sun, The Daily Record, Chesapeake Home and Living and was a guest on Fox 45 TV and WYPR Midday Radio.
She has written for publications including NAPR.net and the CCO blog, and enjoys speaking and coaching to a broad range of groups. She and her organizing team also remain active through sponsorship and volunteering in local community events. Happily living in Hampton with husband John and little girl Pryor, she loves some down-tome outside on the porch with good friends and neighbors, and of course, reorganizing a random drawer or list once in a while.
MARY CATE: I’m really proud of the certification I got a little over a year and a half ago and I am one a a handful of certified organizers in the state of Maryland. NAPO, National Association for Professional Organizers, teamed up with the Board of Certification for Professional Organizers and decided that this was the way to sort of weed out the women from the girls, so to speak. It takes 1500 paid hours to sit for our exam, so that’s roughly three years consecutive work without interruption in order to sit for the exam. So they are pretty serious about who want to maintain. And then we have 45 TEU credits per year that we need to maintain to keep the cert.
JULIE: I’m surprised to hear how stringent those requirements are – 3 years and you had to go for an exam. Did you learn a lot about how to work with people who are having trouble letting go of things or keeping organized?
MARY CATE: Exactly, that and many other things. There are so many specializations you can go to in organizing and one of them, of course, is chronic disorganization and hoarding. Hoarding comes at many different levels and can be really misconstrued today. In today’s society the word is misused and of course television has helped bring awareness, but it hasn’t really helped in terms of judgement and the definition out there. So it’s a whole new gamut and the ICD, The Institute for Challenging Disorganization, is an excellent resource for those who are looking into challenging disorganization or hoarding and it comes across all boards.
There is a whole other gamut which is folks that deal with ADHD, executive function and OCD. We have tools and techniques to be able to help people hold on to those memories without holding on to their stuff, which of course lessens the burden on our loved ones after we’re gone and it helps us be able to move ourselves if we have a life transition so we’re not just drowning in our things.
JULIE: I know when people are moving, a lot of times that it's due to a life transition, even if there’s no loss involved. For example a happily married couple, there are a lot of baby boomers who are thinking, “You know, it’s time for us to downsize. It’s time for us to retire.” And so they’re looking at their family home as their largest asset – and it’s their most valuable asset – and they need to sell it in order to be able to retire. And yet they have raised their family there. So do you want to talk a little bit about how you help people. They have to get rid of a lot of things and yet how do they keep those memories?
MARY CATE: You know it’s such an important thing going on, especially with the boomer generation right now, as you well know our assisted living and nursing homes are overcrowded with long waiting lists and folks are waiting too long to make that transition. And we have a whole other story that we could talk about with in-home care and how that whole industry is going nuts right now. But, for the people that can and do make these decisions on their own before it’s too late, we’re the ones that can help them do that. And from anything from arranging a measurement and special arrangement layout in their assisted living facility or their fifties plus community or even their retirement home on the shore – whatever they’ve chosen to do to downsize – we can help them make that transition a lot smoother by a) sitting with them and making sure that their going through the items, 1, 2 and 3 – what is really important to hold on to and what’s not? Why? Who would this burden later on if we held on to it? All the questions that come along with letting go of an item can be really emotional. If you don’t have another family member or an adult child that can sit and do that because they don’t have time take out of their own jobs/careers/children/lives, we can do that. We’re trained to do that compassionately.
I have a great story about downsizing that might help others: My own parents, who are only in their late sixties / early seventies, decided to do their downsize two years ago, which some say, “Oh my gosh that is so early!” Well yes and no, my dad has had some heart complications and I think my mom realized - who was also then a professional artist – “I want a life too and so does dad. Why would we stay in our home that we have trouble up keeping with leaves and rakes and chopping wood and gutter cleaning and everything that comes with home ownership.” We’re having to pay a lot for other people to do that for them when we could have a fairly easy life in a fifty plus community that is transitional. So when we need it we’re there.
One, I couldn’t thank them enough for a better gift, as their child, to basically do that for me before it’s too late, before they can’t make the decisions on their own and before they’re not physically able to do it themselves. And then two, their enjoying themselves so much more now in a community where they have others like them, that they have so many opportunities and their just surrounded by a minimalist life with a two bedroom apartment, perfectly content, very safe, no snow removal. I couldn’t glow more about the benefits of downsizing earlier that later. My husband and I look at where they live and we think, “We want to sign up now!” We’re only in our forties and I think I’d like to join the waiting list. I think it’s a huge industry right now. We’re lucky enough to have a senior organizing and move management expert and so we are able to handle many moves like that with a specialist that cares very much.
JULIE: I was going through a lot of pictures lately, what do people do with photographs?
MARY CATE: Photos are tough right now too because we’ve moved into the digital world of photography. One option is to have those you really care about either albumed or scanned in to create a digital album. And you have option, if there are family members that want these and want to hold on to them, you can simply scan them in and send them an electronic version and they can do what they want with it. You are not sending them extra physical clutter like framed photos and art. The other option is to scrapbook them essentially, but you can also do this digitally. We have companies that we work with that do just that and only that. Sometimes it can be pricey, depending on the quantity, but it certainly is worth it. We’ve already started doing that in my home just because twenty albums of photos from our past aren’t going to need to be passed down to my daughter, she’s not going to want that. So we’ve already started the process of scanning in and saving space but still hanging on to the memories.
JULIE: Oh that’s a great tip. What other tips do you have for people who are getting ready for market? They want to present their house in the best light possible and a lot of times I see people maybe waiting till they're actually ready to put the house on the market before they call the home-stager in to walk through. And then the home-stager is telling them, “You need to declutter.”
MARY CATE: Yes, so the best thing you can possibly do if you have enough time to realize that a move is coming up – some people don’t, some people only have a month or two’s notice because of a job or something – but if you have the time, the best thing you can do for yourself and for your team of realtors, stagers, organizers – whatever you’re using – is to purge; purge often and purge hard. Because really, deciding on what you need to take will directly correlate with the amount of space you have in the new home and who will be living there. So for instance, if you know that you’re going from a three or four bedroom house to a two bedroom apartment, you realize you can’t take all the furniture, you can’t take all the framed pictures and art – you can’t take all that stuff.
So to visualize that new space and how you want to live in it, and how the people with you want to live in it – that’s really your best goal orientation for how we purge. And all I can say is you’ve got to depersonalize and neutralize. You’ve got to make the house as attractive to the general population as possible. It is your home, you’ve had great memories there – you should probably get online and do a little research about what people are looking for now. And typically that means clean open space, open floors, open surfaces, open walls – take things down and make them as neutral as possible. And by depersonalizing I mean as far as even taking your children’s pictures off the walls. You really want to make sure that people can come into the room and visualize themselves there.
So it’s hard, but it’s easier than you think once you get on a roll. The other tip I would have is to use storage as a last resolve. If you make the tough calls now then you’re really not going to regret it later. If you really only use storage as a, “Okay maybe I will store these until my children can come pick them up.” Something like that. Then that’s okay, but try not to dump everything into storage because typically, and more often than not, it’s going to stay there for a year or more before you get to it, deal with it and then you’re paying basically another mortgage somewhere. So we try and use storage as a last resolve.
JULIE: I know my friend, she was living in Miami, Florida and lost her husband to cancer. And that was a very, very traumatic time for her. She lost her husband, her son was living on the East Coast and he realized his mother was just having a lot of trouble and said, “Mom, you and my sister can come live with me.” And so they did and they packed up their entire house and put it into storage. And I became friends with her when she moved to this area and she kept saying to me, “You know I’ve really got to go to Florida and go through my storage. I have all this beautiful furniture and nice things there and they’re just sitting in storage and I’m paying for it. So how much does it cost to have a storage unit monthly, do you know?
MARY CATE: It totally depends on the area but it can be anywhere from $90 - $1200 a month. So seriously, you have to consider, “Is it worth getting rid of all these things now?” And unfortunately the second hand market isn’t what it used to be, so people are always going to believe that their items are worth more than they are, but you need to find a good appraiser or a good auctioneer to help with some of those antiques or things that might really have some value. And do it now, do it early. A lot of them will offer free appraisal, “This really isn’t worth anything” – which we don’t do that way of course – but it’s nice to have a professional come in and say, “Well this just isn’t selling right now.” And so once people have that they’re like, “Okay, let’s just do it.”
And there are so many organizations that can take these larger items off hand. Second Chance down in Baltimore City is fabulous; they come and pick things up for free. There are so many great organizations that take furniture and artwork and dish sets – everything that you might think has a worth in a second hand market but don’t. They can definitely be given away to charities for a fabulous deduction when you’re moving.
JULIE: Also Habitat for Humanity and Purple Heart take donations.
MARY CATE: Yes there are so many now. So sometimes and usually, I would say eight times out of ten, it is going to be more worth your time, frustration, and money to just go ahead, get rid of it, take the deduction, lower your living costs, don’t have storage overhead and just move on with your life. And it’s easier said than done, but it’s possible.
JULIE: Another category of things people don't like to let go of, is clothing. My mother is 89 years old and she’s petite. And I am not petite and I can’t tell you how many times she’s brought me clothing, mailed me clothing and the pants are too short for me because she’s petite. And I’ve asked her finally, for a long time I was gracious about it – thank you – and then I would try to use the items, but now I realized that I’m just adding to my own clutter by taking my mother’s clutter off her hands. What do you recommend people do and what’s a nice way to say to someone, “No I don’t really need your clutter, thank you very much”?
MARY CATE: What a great question! So I think clothing is an easy one actually, but with anything; with your grand aunt Celia’s China, with your niece's doll collection – whatever someone else can’t get rid of and they’re pushing on you – they believe in their heart that they’re doing the right thing there. It’s sometimes a hard conversation but it’s very worthwhile to be honest and just say, “Mom I so appreciate this gift and I understand where it’s coming from, but me, I can’t fit into these pants. So if you don’t mind, let’s just take them down to the House of Ruth or one of the women’s shelters downtown who really need it, or maybe they’re doing programs to help women get back into the workforce and retraining them.” There are people out there and organizations out there that really need clothing and if they’re sitting in our closets, whether it’s from someone else or ourselves, then they’re not really helping anyone.
But I think it’s worth really just saying to mom or aunt or grandma, “I really appreciate it but I don’t have the space right now to take it on. It doesn’t fit me, my body or my lifestyle right now, can we find a different home for it?" Typically people will respond to that, as long as they know that it’s going to a good home or to another good use, then they’re not going to be willing to put the burden on you. Does that make sense?
JULIE: Yes, definitely.
MARY CATE: I think you should bring options; that usually helps a lot.
JULIE: Yes, and that’s a help because that’s just the easiest way clear something out that you have an emotional attachment to, is to offer it to someone else in your family. Do you know any other ways to purge and remove items now – there are online yard sales like Freecycle right?
MARY CATE: Oh there’s everything; there’s Freecycle, there’s Next Door, there’s Craig’s List – there are a thousand different options out there and some of them are very good for folks, depending on what neighborhood you’re in, and some of them aren’t (regarding safety). You need to be cautious. But there are certainly many online, especially on Facebook, there are a lot of facebook groups now that are doing this. They are trading things, they’re getting rid of things on the cheap and that’s a great way to go.
I have to say I am not really a fan of yard sales. Yard sales are a lot of time and a lot of effort for very little return so if you’re expecting to get a huge bang for your buck at a yard sale just realize that at the end of it someone’s still going to have to take all that stuff to charity.
JULIE: Everything that didn’t sell; that old rower machine that didn’t sell is still going to have to be hauled somewhere right?
MARY CATE: That’s right, and maybe the $200 you made from the yard sale is now going to gas and taking all these things around. So look into your options about charities that will come an pick up for free, there really are so many options out there.
MARY CATE: You made a joke earlier like, “Oh I want to go to check that out, I am looking for a vacation!” I mean why not? Why not use some of the things that are no longer loved or needed or used in our home right now and put them up for a little bit of cash in our pockets. And of course, again, lessening the burden on our loved ones when we’re gone – truly, I can’t think of a better gift that my parents ever gave me, except of course my child rearing, love and education, but to give me the gift of downsizing before I have to do it – that’s just extreme. I mean how many parents can say that? it’s a wonderful thing and I think once people start doing it, whether you’re in your forties, fifties, sixties, seventies, or eighties; you have this sense of freedom. The letting go can be sad and tough in the interim but then you’re like, “Oh my gosh I’m free! I don’t have to stay at home and clean my house and go through my basement this weekend, I can go enjoy my grandkids or take a trip to Africa.