Читать книгу Keep Your Friends Close: A gripping psychological thriller full of shocking twists you won’t see coming - June Taylor - Страница 14

Karin paused to look out of the window on their way to the restaurant. The beach, the pier, the sea, they all brought back a rawness in her and made her feel panicky again. She blamed her mother for the way things turned out. If it wasn’t for her total failure at being a mother then she would have stayed on at school, finished her studies, maybe even gone to university. Instead she unravelled, finding herself washed up on the beach in Morecambe, a wreckage of a human being with no one in the world she could to turn to.

Until Louie showed up.

Whether or not her mother had deliberately set out to hurt Karin, the pain still cut deep, even now. Losing her dad was bad enough, but then for her to remarry just a few weeks after he died was truly unforgiveable. How did she expect Karin to feel? The way she had done it, too, in secret, and to someone Karin had never even met. It was cruel and disrespectful, an insult to her dad’s memory.

Nothing was ever Karin’s business. Not the small stuff, not the big stuff. She was even the last to know that her father had died. What mother does that? Waits four days to tell her daughter that her dad has passed away? Four days. ‘It was better to wait until after your exams, Karin. Those are important.’

What?

More important than her dad dying?

Karin was sixteen, nearly seventeen. So perhaps she should have been used to it by then, built up some resilience having been wrenched from the family home at the age of eight and packed off to boarding school. Despite complaining repeatedly of being miserable and homesick, her feelings were never taken into account. She was always out of sight, out of mind. No wonder she lost control.

On those occasions when she was allowed home, Karin began to pick up on a strange atmosphere between her parents, something in the way they interacted. And something that made her keen to know why her mother had remarried so soon after he died. She refused to tell Karin of course. But Karin did get her answer. In many ways she was relieved to be rid of her mother. If Birgitta felt that Karin had ruined her life, then she totally deserved it. In that case they had ruined each other’s. But still, there was a gaping hole where her mother ought to have been. That was the hole that Louie had filled.

If Louie still worked here, she was likely to be in the Rotunda Bar. Karin kept her head bowed, just in case, as they were being led through to the restaurant.

‘Is this okay for you, sir?’ the waitress asked, showing them to a sea-view table.

‘Perfect,’ Aaron replied.

Karin felt the waitress studying her, hovering with the menus as she waited for them to sit down. She looped her bag over the chair, avoiding eye contact even when she was handed the menu.

‘You look familiar,’ said the waitress.

‘Erm. Yes, I used to work here,’ Karin replied, having no option then but to look up. ‘I left about a year and a half ago.’

‘Thought so. Think I’d just started then. You were front of house, weren’t you?’

‘A bit of everything actually. It was only temporary.’

‘So where are you now?’

‘I work for a charity.’

‘Oh. Still round here though?’

‘No. I moved away.’

The waitress nodded, picking up the vibe. She smiled and said she would leave them to decide and someone would be over shortly to get their drinks order.

‘Very enigmatic answers,’ Aaron commented.

It was in those nervous glances which followed – first at Aaron, trying to reassure him all was well, and then at the waitress as she walked away – that Karin caught a glimpse. Her blood ran cold, yet she could feel herself overheating again. If it was Louie then her hair was longer, in a messy topknot, and she was carrying a tray of empty glasses. Karin saw her look back, as if something or someone had caught her eye, and then Karin panicked, shielding her face with the menu.

‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ Aaron asked. ‘Tell me, is this all wrong?’

‘No. No, ’course not.’ She put down the menu and grabbed his hand. ‘I just need a moment, that’s all. We were straight up to the room and now suddenly in the restaurant. There’re a lot of memories here for me.’

One way or the other though, Karin had to be certain. If it was Louie, then yes, this was all wrong. She pushed back her chair and walked round to the back of Aaron’s, resting her hands on his shoulders and massaging gently, the way he liked it, trying to keep her hands steady. Dropping her fingers down his chest she leant over to kiss him. ‘It’s a lovely thing, Aaron,’ she whispered. ‘But do you mind if I go to the Ladies before we order?’

‘Aren’t you feeling well?’ he called as their hands trailed apart.

‘I’m fine. Back in a minute.’

She walked briskly, her eyes scanning every direction, her heart racing.

Passing through the central bar area.

Clear.

Adjusting quickly to the purple lighting and pinky hue of the booths in the Rotunda Bar.

It was bustling. The weekends were always like that.

Some people stared back at her, wondering what she was all about, but Karin was on a mission and she didn’t apologize for her intrusion. Because if it was Louie that she had seen, they needed to get out of here. Fast. Tell Aaron that she really was ill and return to the room immediately. Leave first thing in the morning. Maybe even tonight.

She swallowed. She could not have Louie back in her life.

Maybe it wasn’t her after all. As Karin’s heartbeat slowed to a more regular pace, she told herself that she must have imagined it and quickened her step towards the Ladies. Feeling Louie’s presence around this place was perfectly normal, her memory playing tricks trying to convince her that Louie was still here. Almost at the Ladies, Karin sensed someone rushing her way, and froze, unable to look. She felt someone brush against her. It was the receptionist returning to the desk. Karin let out a sigh of relief and reached for the door.

‘I knew it was you.’

‘My god!’

Louie had stepped into her face. From nowhere.

‘Louie.’

‘I knew you’d come back. Happy birthday.’

‘No. I-I’m just staying here.’ She still tried to open the door, but Louie was blocking her.

‘What, so that’s it? Seriously? You never even said goodbye to me, Karin.’

‘I know and I’m sorry. I thought that would be the best thing for both of us.’

Karin moved her aside, enough to be able to push on the door with her shoulder, but bashing into it so hard a pain shot down her arm to her elbow. In the same instant, Louie was behind her, jostling her inside.

‘Lou, what the hell are you doing?’

She bundled Karin into the toilet cubicle, the one with the ‘Out of Order’ sign.

‘You owe me an explanation at least,’ she said. Her voice was low but forceful. ‘Why did you just disappear like that?’

Louie was staring at her. Sea-blue eyes. Perfectly sculptured cheekbones. Karin wanted to tell her that longer hair suited her. She was thinner. Perhaps. But she had forgotten how tall Louie was, much taller than she was even in her heels. She smelt of paint and the sea. Karin saw the damage in those eyes, along with her own reflecting back at her, and a dangerous wave of nostalgia swept over her again. It was a time of extremes when nothing else mattered. They were two broken bottles washed up on the beach. And they were young.

She reached her hand up to Louie’s cheek.

It happened quickly. Louie’s lips, firm and hot against hers. Their hands were grasping at each other’s clothing with a sense of urgency. She didn’t protest when Louie undid her dress, or when it fell to the floor, enjoying Louie’s touch on her skin, over her breasts. Karin fumbled under Louie’s apron to undo the zip on her trousers and pulled apart the studs on her shirt. They tried not to make too much noise beating against the partition.

It was over in minutes.

Karin pushed Louie away again. Her hands trembled as she tore off a length of toilet paper. ‘Leave me alone, Louie.’

‘Who’re you with?’

‘Please, Lou, just stay away from me. That won’t ever happen again. I’ve moved on and so should you.’

The intensity of Louie’s stare unnerved her.

Louie slapped her hand against the partition and left.

When Karin heard the door swish to a close, she could finally let some air escape from her lungs. She badly needed to pee. It came out hot and burning, the throbbing sensation a reminder of what she had just done. Louie’s fingers inside her, they knew exactly where to push, where to press. She began to wipe herself down, trying to put herself back together inside and out. What had she just done? The man she loved was waiting out there, possibly going to propose. Karin was capable of many things, but this wasn’t one of them.

When she exited the cubicle, she was relieved to find herself alone. Walking towards the gleaming array of sinks, she tried her best not to look in the long mirror above them, but couldn’t avoid it. The person staring back was unrecognizable. The tell-tale signs: lipstick wrecked, cheeks flushed, hair totally deranged. She regretted coming in search of Louie now. Even the possibility that it was her should have been enough to take evasive action.

Tugging a tissue from the box on the ledge, getting angry when it didn’t come out, Karin began to rub away at the red smears around her mouth and the one streaked across her cheek like some tribal marking. Maybe it wasn’t so bad though. Get rid of the mascara smudges, rearrange the hair, and she might be able to get away with saying she had been sick. If only she could wipe away the last fifteen minutes of her life. If only she could undo many things.

Back at the table, Aaron was waiting anxiously. ‘You’ve been gone ages,’ he said, putting down his glass of water. ‘I was getting worried.’

‘I know, I’m sorry. I felt sick and-and then I was.’

‘Oh no. Really? Here, drink some water.’ He poured a glassful and pushed it towards her.

‘Thanks,’ she replied, gulping it down. ‘I think I’ll be okay now.’

‘Well, should we go back up to the room? I mean—’

‘I’ll order something light and I’ll be fine. Really, I will.’

The damage was done in any case, and her anger was rising. Karin refused to let Louie ruin this for them, and why should they have to leave? But when the smell of sex wafted over her again, she almost changed her mind.

‘Better?’ asked Aaron.

‘Getting there,’ she said, forcing a smile. ‘It’s so hot in here.’

Aaron reached for her hand across the table as she drank some more water. Karin considered it for a moment, because she really didn’t deserve his hand in hers. She didn’t deserve Aaron. But she allowed him to stroke her fingers and heard herself apologizing to him again.

‘No, don’t be sorry,’ he said, the kindness in his voice almost unbearable. ‘You sure you’re all right now?’

‘I’ll be fine.’

He gave her hand a squeeze but Karin was still too embarrassed to look him in the eye. Her hair fell forwards over her face and Aaron pushed it to one side. She raised her head, brave enough to meet his gaze. As she did so, she automatically touched her ear and realized she had lost an earring. The special one from her dad. Karin panicked, quickly pulling her hair forwards, coughing nervously. Luckily Aaron was trying to get someone’s attention to come and take their order.

‘Hey guys. What can I get you?’

Karin froze.

‘So, what are we celebrating tonight?’

It was Louie.

Aaron didn’t answer. He seemed to be leaving it to Karin to respond. ‘Oh,’ she said, fixing her eyes on Aaron. ‘Erm. My birthday. It’s my birthday. Today.’ Karin had no choice but to look at Louie then. Becoming aware that she was using Aaron’s hand as a stress ball, she immediately slackened off, giving him another apologetic smile.

‘Well in that case, let me get you something suitable,’ said Louie. ‘I’ve been informed you used to work here, so it’s with our compliments.’

‘Very generous. Thank you,’ Aaron replied, beaming at Karin. Then when Louie had gone, he asked: ‘Do you know that girl?’

‘I can’t really remember. It’s a while since I was here. Staff come and go all the time. Listen, do you think we could step outside for a bit of air?’

Aaron got up, coming round to Karin’s side of the table. Covering her shoulders with her cardigan, he pulled out her chair and waited patiently for her to stand. On their way out, he caught someone’s attention and had a quiet word to explain, pointing over to their abandoned table. It didn’t seem to be a problem.

The evening was hanging on to its unusually warm air as they stepped onto the terrace, but Karin was grateful for the relative coolness. From here the sea was a glistening mass, breathing its dark silky waves, in and out. It made no sound, a silent predator awaiting its next victim. This was a dangerous stretch of beach.

‘It’s beautiful,’ said Aaron, putting his arm around Karin’s waist to steady her down the steps.

‘Yes. I did love it here,’ she replied, her eyes drawn to the pier. She pulled on Aaron’s arm to go in the other direction, away from the pier, and they began to stroll along the promenade towards Heysham, holding hands.

They’d celebrated her twentieth birthday on the end of that pier. Louie had suddenly produced a cheap bottle of wine and they each took a drink saying: ‘Meet me at the edge’. Karin wasn’t even sure what she meant by it, it was just a feeling back then, but it was always there. She remembered the sea beating against the pilings beneath them as they hung their heads over the side, dangling their arms into the inky-black waves, daring one another to let go.

‘Should we head back?’ said Aaron, coming to a standstill. ‘We’ve probably walked far enough. You feeling any better?’

‘Sure,’ she replied, allowing him to turn her round. She would carry on to Blackpool if she could, all twenty-eight miles of it in her heels. Karin was surprised to learn they had already been walking for over ten minutes.

‘Must have been great to live by the sea,’ Aaron said, as they strolled back in again. ‘I’d love to do that, one day.’

‘Yes,’ said Karin, shuddering at the memories she had left here. Then she felt Aaron’s arm across her shoulders and wondered if he meant the two of them together. ‘Oh. Well I’d really like that too,’ she added, looking into his eyes. He gave her a half-grin and Karin realized that, yet again, she sounded foolish.

Walking with her head down the rest of the way, the fear of running into Louie returned.

The champagne was waiting for them when they arrived at their table, sitting in a bucket of ice ready to be popped and poured into flutes. Louie was hovering nearby, but held off for a moment, giving them time to get settled. As Karin saw her approaching, she was also aware of Aaron rummaging in the inside of his jacket.

‘What are you doing?’ she asked, keeping a close eye on Louie.

He pulled out a box. Black velvet, expensive-looking.

Did he have to do this now?

She didn’t dare check on Louie again. She must have seen what was happening though, and maintained a professional distance. All Karin could think about as Aaron placed the box down in front of her was Louie’s pain. How much this would hurt her.

‘Happy birthday, Karin,’ he said, nudging the box towards her. ‘Open it.’

Her fingers were trembling; she could barely lift up the lid. Karin let out a gasp, no longer pretending to be surprised. It was a cross-over design, white gold set with tiny diamonds. A label was looped through the ring which said:

Marry me, Karin xx

‘Oh Aaron, it’s beautiful.’

‘Well?’

She hesitated.

‘Yes! Of course, yes.’

Plunging the ring down her finger she clasped both her hands round Aaron’s, until she was aware of Louie coming over and quickly released them again.

When Louie reached their table, her face was set. She pulled the cooling bucket in nearer. A droplet of water dripped onto the tablecloth as she lifted out the bottle. She gave it a wipe before opening it and began to pour.

‘Happy birthday,’ she said, handing Karin a glass.

Then one for Aaron.

The sound of the bottle crashing back into the ice sliced through Karin’s nerves, leaving her conscience in shreds. But she had to be strong. She had come a long way since Morecambe.

‘Actually, it’s more than just a birthday,’ she heard Aaron say, feeling her fingers being flaunted under Louie’s nose. Karin almost shouted, No, don’t do that. It was too cruel, but Aaron wasn’t to know. In any case it was too late.

Louie flinched.

Karin recovered her hand as soon as it felt appropriate to do so. Her betrayal was pulling both ways; she felt as though she might snap in two. Aaron picked up his glass and Karin did the same; the jubilant tap of crystal, bubbles fizzing up her nose. The only way Karin could cope with this was by pretending that Louie wasn’t there at all.

‘In that case it’s double congratulations,’ said Louie, somewhere in the background.

Karin felt her whole body collapse as Louie walked away. But then saw her spin round again, as if she had remembered something. Karin let out a gasp, seeing her return to their table. She tightened her fingers round her wrist in her lap, trying to make the moment end quickly.

‘Someone saw you drop this over by the toilets,’ said Louie, placing an earring in front of Karin. ‘Looks like one you really wouldn’t want to lose.’