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ОглавлениеWelcome to Thunder Raker Manor
An Introduction to the School
By Mr Trenchard, Head Teacher
Thunder Raker Manor is an exclusive school for boys and girls from 8 to 18. Some of the children come daily, some are boarders. Some of them I remember, some of them I—er, what was I saying?
Anyway, all our students are here because their parents or guardians are connected with the Security Services. Spies and agents are happy to send their children to Thunder Raker Manor secure in the knowledge that they will be safe from any possible threats.
We teach a full curriculum at Thunder Raker, fully compliant with the National Thingummy. And alongside the English and Maths and History and Geography, our students learn skills that may just come in handy back home or in their future careers —if they have inherited their parents’ inclinations and aptitudes.
As well as being an honorary CT (Classified Training) Academy, Thunder Raker is especially pleased with its latest SATS results. We take the Special Agent Training Standards very seriously indeed and have achieved excellent levels in Surveillance, Code-Breaking, and Sabotage.
And if the Security Services need a bit of help from some youngsters for a special mission, or if the villainous agents of that dastardly organisation known only as the Secret Partners for Undertaking Destruction (S.P.U.D.) try to take over the school or kidnap one of the teachers—rest assured, every one of our students is ready and prepared.
Mr Trenchard has been the Head Teacher of Thunder Raker Manor since Mrs Muldoom’s unfortunate accident on the assault course all those years ago. He is superbly qualified and takes great pride in his work. When he can remember what it is. Very good—carry on. Um. Yes…
Mr Trenchard
Colonel Hugh Dare-Swynne’s Class of the Week This week the Colonel focuses on Class 3D, which is taught by Miss Jones.
Miss Jones
Miss Jones says:
3D is a lovely class and works hard. This week was especially exciting for everyone as we had a new student start—Alfie (surname classified). Alfie is already settling in very well, and even has his own cover story—some nonsense about his father actually being a postman. As if!
Alfie
Alfie fits in well with the other children. He is nine years old, and he’s a clever, practical boy with lots of common sense. He’s brave and loyal and fun. Though I have to say he doesn’t always quite understand some of the lessons or the way we do things here at Thunder Raker. But his common sense approach is a breath of fresh air and he sees the world—and our problems—in a much less cluttered and complicated way than the other children..
Jack
Next up is Jack. Jack’s dad is head of the Secret Service, though of course we don’t mention that. But it does explain why Jack’s a bit full of himself. He is always coming up with terrific ideas and plans, though usually they are rather impractical and just too involved ever to work.
Harry
Harry’s dad has infiltrated SPUD and sends him strange, coded text messages and letters written in invisible ink. Sometimes the children have to go and rescue or help him, which cuts into the school day. Harry isn’t the brightest of the bunch by a long way, but his questions often throw up problems with Jack’s ideas. He is brave and loyal and willing and likes doing PE—on the school assault course.
Sam
Sam’s mum works in Whitehall for Hush Hush, designing equipment for agents and spies. Sam uses a motorised wheelchair—which looks ordinary but has amazing gadgets built into it. Sam’s mum made him his wheelchair because the NHS one didn’t have a very good anti-missile protection system. And one of the wheels was wonky.
Chloe
Moving on to the girls, Chloe is the daughter of a renowned spy (and doesn’t she know it). If you thought Jack was a bit full of himself, he’s got nothing on Chloe. She just has to be the centre of attention, wearing the latest fashion—and spying—accessories. At home she’s got her telly wired up with a Playstation 3, a Wii, and the very latest omni-processing decryptortron. Unfortunately Alfie isn’t terribly impressed by all this, so he and Chloe haven’t really hit it off.
Alice
Alice’s dad is a double agent (but it’s a bit unclear which side he’s actually on). You never know where you are with Alice—she says one thing then does another. Her moods are volatile and she’s got a temper like a tank-buster missile when it goes off.
Beth
Beth is a swot and a techie. Her dad is a super-boffin who runs the Government’s Inventing Taskforce (GIT). She’s inherited his absented-minded braininess. She’s not so hot on the practical side of things though—she can design a robot to tie your shoelaces, but she’s always tripping over her own feet. She comes to school on her rocket-powered rollerblades.
A Passion for Excellence
Miss Jones
Miss Jones is responsible for teaching Class 3D the ordinary everyday subjects like Maths and English and History. She’s newly-qualified, quiet and unassuming. Like Miss Jones, all the subject teachers at Thunder Raker Manor are fully qualified and at the very peak of their profession. Many of them are former agents and spies, so together they bring a wealth of experience to the school.
Mr Cryption
Mr Cryption—teaches Codes. He’s tall and thin and no one understands anything he says.
Miss Fortune
Miss Fortune teaches Assassination. Her classes always seem to be a few pupils short—they get sent on errands or asked to help fetch something, and never come back…Note, though, that Class 3D is too young for Assassination, which is only taught in the Sixth Form.
Sir Westerley Compass
Sir Westerly Compass is in charge of Tracking Skills. He’s always late for class, and his lessons are often moved at short notice.
The Major
The Major—that’s all he’s ever called—is in charge of Sabotage Training. He has an enormous moustache and he’s rather accident prone. Everything he touches breaks—even the plate he gets his school dinner on…
Mrs Nuffink
Mrs Nuffink teaches Surveillance. Don’t mess around in her class—she’s got eyes in the back of her head. No, really.
Mr Trick
Camouflage is supposed to be taught by Mr Trick. But no one can find him.
Reverend “Bongo” Smithers
The Chaplain is Reverend “Bongo” Smithers, a former fighter pilot more interested in war stories than Bible stories. He also teaches PE. Ruthlessly.
Peace of Mind
So whatever your parental requirements or security clearance, you can rest assured that Thunder Raker Manor will provide a first class education for your child in every respect. We can’t tell you how much the children enjoy being here. No, really—we can’t. It’s an official secret.
