Читать книгу Vigilante - Kady Cross - Страница 11

CHAPTER 5

Gabriel was already at Magda’s grave when I got there on Friday. Like me, he must’ve come straight from class, because there was a backpack on the grass by her tombstone.

He sat cross-legged on the grass, leaning back on his forearms as the afternoon sun shone down on his face. It was warm—even for September—and he’d taken off his jacket. His eyes were closed, so I just stood there for a moment and looked at him.

I didn’t remember when my feelings for him had become something more than just friendship, but I know it had been at least a couple of years. I’d never told Magda that I had a crush on her brother. She would’ve found it weird. I found it weird.

I don’t think there were many girls who would blame me for having a thing for him. He was gorgeous. But more than his looks, he was a good person. Strong and honorable. He could make me laugh—even after all that had happened.

Finally, I decided to approach. If he opened his eyes and saw me standing there gawking at him, he’d think I’d gone nuts.

“Hi.”

He opened his eyes, squinting at me. “Hey. I was beginning to wonder if you were going to show.”

“School only let out twenty minutes ago,” I told him. I put my bag beside his before plopping down on the grass on the opposite side of the tombstone. We both faced the same direction as the stone. It made it easier to pretend that Magda was between us rather than beneath.

“Right.” He slipped on a pair of sunglasses that had been lying on the grass by his hip. “I forgot. How’s it going?”

I shrugged. “Okay. It doesn’t seem right without her.”

Gabriel stared straight ahead. “Nothing does. It’s getting a little easier, but that just makes it all the more painful when I remember she’s gone.”

I didn’t say anything. I didn’t have to. He knew I felt the same way.

“Diane Davies has started a self-defense course for girls.”

He turned his head to look at me, but I couldn’t see his eyes behind the dark lenses. “The cop?”

“Yeah. We had the first one Thursday night. She’s doing it at the dojo.” Gabriel had been the one to get me into aikido in the first place, but he hadn’t been there in a while.

“You’re taking it?”

“You sound surprised.”

“I am. I thought you hated her. And you already know how to kick ass.”

“I was mad that she couldn’t make the four of them pay for what they did. I guess now I know it wasn’t her fault—like you said.”

“It’s good that she’s doing something. Did many girls show up?”

“A few. Hopefully we’ll get more.” I plucked a blade of grass and shredded it between my fingers. “Jason Bentley’s having a party on Saturday night.”

His back stiffened. The tightened muscles in his arms were like smooth stone beneath his skin. “Are you going?”

“I don’t know.”

This time when he turned his head his gaze lingered on me. “Yes, you do.”

I don’t know how he did it, but he always seemed to know when I was lying. “Okay then, fine. I’m going.”

“Why?”

“Because if Drew Carson tries to drug and rape another girl, I want to be there to stop it.”

“And just how do you think you can do that? Are you going to stand guard outside the bedrooms?”

“If I have to.” My voice was sharp and belligerent.

“What if he takes that as an invitation? What if the girl he targets is you?”

“That won’t happen. I’m not going to let him get anywhere near me.”

“That won’t matter if the four of them gang up on you. Even you’re not capable of fighting off four guys.”

He was right, and I knew it. I also hated him for it. “I’m not going alone. I’m going with another girl.”

“I’m coming with you.”

My heart jumped in fear. “No. You can’t do that. If you walk in there, the four of them and all their friends will jump you.”

“My odds of not being raped are significantly higher than yours.”

“My odds of not being beaten to death are significantly higher than yours. You can’t go.”

“If you go, I’m going.”

“You’re such an asshole.”

He rolled onto his side so that he faced me, bracing himself on his forearm. “I could say the same thing. What are you thinking, Hadley? What are you planning to do that you don’t want me to know about?”

Could he see the pulse at the base of my throat pounding beneath my skin? “Nothing. I’m not stupid.”

“I know you’re not. Sometimes I think you’re too smart for your own good. Your intelligence isn’t the problem. Your impulsiveness is. Your anger is.”

I snorted. “Don’t you lecture me on anger. I was there when you went after Drew. I know what you would’ve done to him if those guys hadn’t pulled you off. And I know what those guys would’ve done to you if there hadn’t been an audience.” I remembered how bruised and bloody he’d been, and how much worse Drew had looked. Most people went through life not knowing whether or not they could kill somebody, but Gabriel knew.

“You’re not going without me.”

“Fine. I won’t go.”

“Good.”

We stared at each other, his eyes hidden behind sunglasses. I was lying, and he probably knew it, but I was still going to try to sell it. If he was stupid enough to show up knowing what would happen to him, then let him. Him getting beaten up was more of a given than me being attacked.

We sat there in silence. Usually, we spent the time talking. Mostly we talked about Magda, but sometimes we talked about other things. This was the first time that neither of us had anything to say.

A little while later Gabriel rolled to his feet. “I have to go to work.” He brushed grass off his jeans and picked up his backpack.

I stood as well. “Gabe...”

He looked at me. “Yeah?”

“I...I don’t like feeling like you’re mad at me.”

His shoulders slumped. He dropped the backpack on the grass again and stepped across his sister’s grave to stand directly in front of me. I wasn’t prepared for him to wrap his arms around me and pull me close. He smelled like sunshine and fabric softener with a touch of sandalwood. I wound my arms around his waist, pressing my hands against his back. Holding him was like holding strength. I could feel it seeping through my clothes, slipping beneath my skin and into my bones. The sadness and helplessness that usually threatened to overwhelm me disappeared. I couldn’t even find any anger in my heart.

He rested his cheek against my head. “Please stay away from those guys. I can’t lose you too.”

Tears burned my eyes, but I blinked them away. I wasn’t going to cry on him again, and I wasn’t going to let him see how much his words affected me. I couldn’t let him see my feelings for him, because I was his little sister’s best friend and I knew the love he felt for me was only friendship. I didn’t want to lose him. He wasn’t just all I had left of Magda. He was all I had left period.

* * *

Like most of the wealthier families in our town, the Bentleys lived on Smith Street. It might have a common name, but Smith Street was one of the oldest streets in town. You could tell how old the houses were by how they were built. The newer houses were large and sprawling, usually white or bluish gray. The older houses—the ones that had been there for a century or more—were red brick or gray stone. The Bentleys lived in a house that was brick that had been stuccoed over.

Zoe and I arrived there around ten o’clock Saturday night. I didn’t live on Smith Street, or anywhere near it. My family lived in one of the newer suburbs of town. My mother was an accountant and my father was an engineer. We weren’t poor, but we weren’t the Bentleys. Mags and I were top of our class in our old school, and we were able to get scholarships. Our parents somehow managed to scrape together the rest of the money for tuition. Magda’s grades had slipped after the rape—to the point where the school was going to kick her out. Her suicide saved them the trouble, the unfeeling bastards.

“Are you ready to do this?” Zoe asked. “I mean, it’s gotta be painful.”

I wanted to say that sometimes pain was better than feeling nothing, but that was really so melodramatic. I shrugged. “It’s okay.” I didn’t know what I hoped to accomplish by going to that damn party. Maybe it was penance for letting Magda down. Maybe I wanted to show that I wasn’t afraid. Maybe I thought I could possibly stop another girl from being raped. Maybe I just didn’t want to sit home alone.

We walked up the flagstone path. Zoe had driven and promised me she wasn’t going to drink. It was a relief to know that I probably wouldn’t have to worry about her. Unfortunately, I still had to worry about pretty much every other girl there.

It was a warm night, and I was wearing cropped jeans and a blouse. I didn’t wear dresses or skirts anymore.

We rang the doorbell. We could hear the music inside the house. It was loud, but not so loud that the neighbors would call the police. Not that it would matter if they did. The Bentleys, the Weeks, the Henrys and the Carsons were important families, which apparently entitled them to behave in ways that would get the rest of us in trouble. They were exempt from any kind of responsibility, and that extended to their sons.

The door opened. Standing in the open frame in jeans and a T-shirt that probably cost more than my entire outfit was Jason. A year ago I would’ve described him as cute. I might’ve even wanted him to pay attention to me. Now his face had as much appeal as a bowl of maggots. If he ever touched me, I would probably take a cheese grater to the spot just to get rid of the taint.

He smiled when he saw us, though it faltered a little when he looked at me. “Hey,” he said, standing back so we could step inside. “Glad you could make it.”

I followed Zoe inside. She smiled and thanked him for inviting us. I couldn’t do anything more than nod.

“Do you want a soda or anything?” he asked, leading us deeper into the house. The floor looked like marble, and the staircase was wide enough to drive a car up.

“Sure,” Zoe said.

“Do you have anything in cans?” I asked. There was no way I was going to let him bring me a glass.

He shot me a glance as though he could read my mind. “Sure. Come into the kitchen.”

The kitchen was just as perfect as the rest of the house. There wasn’t even a crumb on the stove. A stack of pizza boxes sat on the counter, and I could smell the cheesy, tomatoey goodness.

I wasn’t going to eat anything, either.

Jason opened the wide, stainless-steel fridge. “Help yourself.”

Zoe took a can of Sprite. I reached in and grabbed a can of diet Dr Pepper. “Thanks.”

He closed the fridge door. The action made him step closer toward me. Instinctively I lurched backward, banging my hip against the counter in my effort to avoid contact.

Jason frowned. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

I forced myself to meet his gaze. “You didn’t.” Scare me? No. Repulse me? Yes.

He looked as though he wanted to say something else, but then a small group of people burst into the kitchen. They were all in our class, though one of the girls was a junior.

“Hey, Jay, where’s the beer?” one of the guys asked.

Jason went to get it for them, and I took that as my opportunity to escape. Zoe and I followed the music and conversation downstairs into a large finished basement that had the biggest television I’ve ever seen and a pool table. Patio doors opened up to the backyard, where there was a pool and hot tub. There were kids in each.

Zoe turned to me. “This house is fricking amazing.”

“Yeah,” I agreed through clenched teeth. The house was gorgeous.

“Hey, there’s Anna and Caitlin. Want to go say hi?”

“Yeah.” I meant it. I was happy to see the two of them, and not just because there was safety in numbers.

The two girls looked just as happy to see us, and they immediately started talking about how they’d been practicing what they learned in class.

“I think my mother thought we were killing each other,” Anna joked. “We almost busted the lamp in my room.”

I laughed. I was glad they came. Having them there eased my anxiety. That anxiety came back, however, about an hour later when I saw Drew Carson hovering around the girl I’d recognized as a junior earlier, who was now so drunk she could barely stand up.

A hot prickly sensation ran up the back of my neck, followed by a shiver of ice down my spine. For months I’d thought about what I would do in that very situation. I’d imagined myself walking up to him and beating him stupid. I imagined myself being the girl’s savior. Once, I even imagined myself going full-on Kill Bill on them. Never had I imagined myself just standing there, frozen to the spot and shaking with anger. How could I just stand there and not do anything?

I couldn’t. With my can of soda in hand—because I was not about to set it down—I started walking toward them. Zoe, Caitlin and Anna were right behind me. Zoe said my name, but it sounded like she was talking to me from the far end of a tunnel.

What was I going to do? Smash my soda can into his face? Kick him? At that moment he hadn’t done anything wrong. Of course that was the moment I remembered Gabriel telling me I couldn’t fight all four of them.

Suddenly, my path was interrupted by Jason. I hadn’t even seen him approach. One second I had my sights set directly on Drew, and the next Jason was there, blocking me.

“You okay, Angie?” I heard him ask the girl.

“She’s had too much to drink,” Drew said with a smirk. “She just needs to lie down for a bit. She can use your room can’t she, Jay?”

I froze. This cannot be happening. Drew could not be planning to rape this poor drunk girl. Even though I knew him to be the worst kind of monster, I couldn’t believe how easily it seemed to come to him.

“Actually,” Jason said, glancing at me. “I think Angie needs to go home. I’m going to put her in a cab.” He took the girl by the arm and pulled her away from Drew, who had a stupefied look on his face.

The girls and I exchanged glances as Jason steered Angie past us. He had his cell phone to his ear. I heard him ask for a cab.

Drew had been cock-blocked by one of his best friends. His face twisted into a combination of anger, petulance and disappointment. It made me smile.

I followed Jay and Angie, needing to make sure he actually did send her home and didn’t take her upstairs instead.

I stood at the opposite end of the hall, near the stairs, and watched. Jason held the girl up, and when the cab arrived, he took her outside and put her in it. I moved closer to the open door so I could watch him pay the cabbie and close the car door.

He spotted me before I could duck away, so I stayed where I was rather than run, as I wanted. I watched him step inside the house, closing the door behind him.

He looked at me. “Did you follow me to make sure I sent her home?”

“Yes.” I had no trouble meeting his gaze.

His fists clenched at his sides. “I. Am. Not. A. Monster.”

I tilted my head as I looked at him. “Are you trying to convince me of that?” I asked. “Or yourself?” And then I turned on my heel and went back to my new friends. Just because he’d sent one girl home didn’t mean he and his friends didn’t have another victim picked out.

And it didn’t change what he’d done to Magda.