Читать книгу Peace a Day at a Time - Karen Casey - Страница 47

Our happiness doesn't depend on a loved one's sobriety.

What we do with our lives is not dependent on what others do with theirs. That's hard for us to believe, but we see how program friends have gone on with their dreams even though the drinker still drinks or the addict still snorts cocaine.

We come into the program expecting to learn how to help our loved ones stop using. That's our primary goal. What a jolt to discover that it hasn't happened for some who share our circle. And they come to meetings anyway. More than that, they seem to be leading happy lives. At first we wonder how.

We are guaranteed happiness too. We are enmeshed with our loved ones only because we have never understood separateness. Our boundaries have been blurred. But the guidance of sponsors and the wisdom we'll gain from the meetings will show us how to disengage from others. Our first step toward the happiness we're promised is to give up our attempts to control anyone but ourselves.

I have my own dreams, my own goals. To fulfill them, I must turn my attention away from others and on to me. I can't make anyone else's life my dream.

—from A Life of My Own