Читать книгу All We Have Is All We Need - Karen Casey - Страница 7

THE DESIRE to control our loved ones and the events in our lives is seductive, very powerful, and so very foolish. We are all guilty of trying to control other people, but we will never find peace by making a hostage of someone. The men and women in our lives are there for only one purpose: they are our preselected teachers. Every interaction is divine. Every encounter is intentional.

Surrendering our attempts to be in charge of other people or events relieves us of a huge burden. It may seem like there is too little to do if we're not trying to make others do our will. Trying to manage everything has become our job. But being in charge of our own behaviors and attitudes is a full-time job, and it's the only one we need! We will eventually love the freedom that we feel if we give up the illusion of control. We never really had it anyway. We only thought we did.

Letting others live their own lives takes willingness coupled with practice. One of the gifts of letting go of control over other people's lives is that it gives us the time to attend to our own needs and decisions. In the process, we discover that we have very rich lives that are quite separate from our loved ones', lives that are full of joy and promise. When we focus on the details of other people's lives, we're not able to see the opportunities for new experiences that have been trying to get our attention all along. Lucky for us, they've waited, and they will continue to do so until we are ready to notice them.

Alongside of giving up control over people and experiences is acceptance of the people and events in our lives as they are. Careful attention will reveal that every conversation, every event, has a message for us and every person has a part to play in the drama that's unfolding in our lives. We don't have to understand why an experience has captured our attention or why a particular person has come calling. It's appropriate to celebrate the importance of our interactions no matter where they happen; they are the experiences that carry us to the next stage of our education. In many instances of conflict with our companions, we—and the relationship—will be best served if we remain quiet. Or perhaps simply smile rather than turn away. The practice of accepting what has arisen as an opportunity for growth and then letting go of any desire to control it is the right response. Surrendering to a situation where necessary, and letting God be in charge of all people and outcomes, will make all our relationships more fun and more peaceful. We do get what we need. Just not always what we want.