Читать книгу The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal - Karen C.L. Anderson - Страница 15

Reveal

Reveal (verb): make (previously unknown information) known

“If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people.”

—Thich Nhat Hanh

Your direct maternal lineage is the line that follows your mother’s maternal ancestry. This line consists entirely of women. And those women had all kinds of experiences. There is most likely unconscious fear and collective trauma in your maternal lineage. There are patterns and wounds that have been passed down to you.

Here are some common ways these patterns and wounds can show up:

•You compare and despair.

•You feel stuck, overwhelmed, and like an under-achiever.

•Or you are over-achieving, but without any joy or fulfillment, just going through the motions in an effort to prove your worth.

•Shame, blame, guilt, and desperation.

•Fear of failure.

•Fear of success (believe it or not): believing that if you succeed you won’t be loved, someone will disapprove, or that you’re somehow “showing off.”

•Putting up with bad behavior in others.

•Constantly seeking approval, validation, and permission from outside yourself (and especially from her).

•People-pleasing and being afraid to say “no.”

•Taking on other people’s problems and thinking it’s on you to fix them.

•Self-sabotage (especially when you get close to achieving something).

•Binge eating, binge drinking, binge shopping, binge anything.

•Feeling chronically frustrated, angry, and maybe even enraged.

•Trying to control the uncontrollable.

•Chronic worry and anxiety.

•Chronic overwhelm, confusion, and hopelessness.

•Believing it is selfish or narcissistic to put yourself first, or even to love, accept, or care for yourself.

•Believing it is your responsibility to take care of others, emotionally speaking.

•Thinking that your desires and preferences don’t matter.

•Not having a clear sense of who you are and what you want.

•And if you do know what you want, feeling incapable of doing or having it.

•Having weak or non-existent boundaries.

•Being afraid to speak your truth and take up space.

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