Читать книгу The Bachelor's Homecoming - Karen Kirst - Страница 14

Chapter Five

“Time for bed, birdie.” Tom folded back the freshly washed quilt and patted the mattress. “Hop in.”

Taking a final sip of her water, Clara plunked the cup on the table and climbed onto the bed pushed up against the main room’s wall. The same one he and his brother had shared when they were young. Here on this farm, the memories were everywhere. Inescapable. At least at the ranch, there hadn’t been anything to remind him of the good times. Nothing to resurrect futile yearning for what used to be.

Making herself comfortable, his niece clasped her dainty hands together over her chest, big eyes blinking up at him. “I don’t wanna sleep in this bed.”

Sitting on the mattress’s edge, he flicked a stray piece of hay from his pant leg. “Miss Jane and Miss Sophie cleaned it out today just for you. There’s fresh straw inside to make it comfy.”

“I want my old bed.” She surveyed the cabin’s interior. “Our other house was bigger. I wanna go home.”

The plea in her tone punched him square in the chest. “I know this place doesn’t feel like home yet. It’s been empty a long time. No one’s been around to take care of it.” His attention wandered to the empty rocking chair, the basket of knitting needles and yarn near the hearth, and a fresh wave of grief crashed over him. He could use a bit of his ma’s insight right about now. “Did you know that your pa and I were born in this very cabin?”

Her face reflected astonishment, and she looked so much like Charles that he could hardly catch his breath. “Really?”

He made do with a nod. Sometimes he despised his brother for not being strong enough to cope with Jenny’s death. For abandoning Clara. He abandoned you, too. Don’t forget that.

Giving up wasn’t in Tom’s nature. He hadn’t thought it of Charles, either.

Granted, he didn’t understand what it felt like to lose the love of his life, the mother of his child. But Charles had a daughter who needed him. Going off on a reckless self-pity binge was just plain selfish.

“Uncle Tom?”

“Hmm?”

“When will Pa meet us here?”

Snapped out of his reverie, Tom worked to conceal his emotion. He covered her folded hands with his own. “I’m not sure, Clara.”

He hadn’t told her that he had no idea where her pa was. Whether or not he was safe.

This is how Jane must’ve felt when I bolted, he thought dumbly. All those months of wondering where I’d gone, how I was faring... Knowing her proclivity to imagine the worst, it would’ve been torture for her.

No wonder she’d been so devastated. She had a right to be angry.

Like Charles, he’d selfishly disregarded her feelings.

And the one person who’d known, who could’ve eased her worry, had been sworn to secrecy, thanks to him. Stupid move, Leighton.

Clara yawned widely and snuggled deeper into the mattress. “Will you tell me a bedtime story?”

Exhaustion had seeped into his marrow, and he longed for his own bed, but he couldn’t deny her. Tucking the quilt under her chin, he wove a tale of adventure.

Her lids heavy by the time he’d finished, she mumbled, “Is Miss Jane coming to see us tomorrow?”

“Jane has her own farm to take care of.”

She wouldn’t be visiting again soon, he was certain. After overhearing Josh, she’d made sure not to be alone with Tom the remainder of the day, giving him no chance to apologize. Would she change her mind about accompanying him to Megan’s?

“You like her, don’t you?” he said.

“She’s nice.”

“Yeah, she is.”

Nice wasn’t the only adjective he’d use to describe Jane. Insightful was one. Sensitive. Beautiful. That moment by the water resurfaced, the mental image of her upturned face, eyes closed, pale lashes resting against her cheeks as he brushed away the stray one filling his mind.

“Amy is, too.” Clara’s voice jarred him. “She played dolls with me.”

With much effort, Tom refocused on the present. He’d seen Caleb’s young sister-in-law playing with Clara beneath the big maple tree in the yard. In Kansas, Clara had been somewhat isolated from feminine company, surrounded by rowdy, manners-challenged ranch hands. Having the O’Malley women around would benefit her.

Despite the difficulties, coming home to Gatlinburg would be good for her. He’d make sure of it.

* * *

“I can’t believe you agreed to this.”

Jane didn’t look up from her journal. Tom and Clara would be arriving any minute to pick her up, and she wanted to finish her entry. Expressing her thoughts and feelings on paper helped her make sense of her world.

“What excuse could I possibly have given him, Jess?”

Her twin popped up from the top step and paced the length of the porch, blue paisley skirts swishing with each step. “I don’t know. Chores? Errands? Visiting the sick?”

With a sigh, Jane shut the clothbound book and slipped it and her pencil into the leather satchel at her feet. She started the rocker moving with the tip of her boot. “He’s concerned how Megan will react if he shows up there alone. As her sister and his friend, I’m the obvious choice to accompany him.”

“He’s concerned about Megan.” Jessica snorted. “Of course he is.”

Anguish arrowed through her. “He loved her, Jess. Once you love someone, that never goes away.”

At least, it hadn’t in her experience. How many times had she yearned for the empty hole in her heart to mend? Or be filled with someone else? She’d thought that, with time, Roy would’ve come to mean more to her. “Besides, Tom hasn’t the slightest idea how I feel. In his mind, this is simply an opportunity for me to visit with my sister.”

Jessica knelt before her, halting the rocking motion with her hands on the armrests. Looking into her face was like peering into a mirror.

“I’m worried about you, sis. Not only are you dealing with Roy’s deception, but the return of your infatuation. The hero of your daydreams. The man you haven’t been able to forget.”

“Don’t worry. I have a plan.”

Interest kindled in Jessica’s rounded eyes. “You’re going to confess everything?”

The mere idea had her heart doing palpitations. “Can you honestly picture me doing that?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact. If you were to work up your nerve. It’s not a horrible idea.” She snapped her fingers. “I know, I can pretend to be you and do it for you.”

Jane glowered at her twin. The handful of times they’d switched identities as children had been spectacular failures. And they’d gotten punished for their efforts. “Forget it, Jess.”

“Okay. How about flirting with him? Giving him subtle hints that you’re open to a relationship?”

Gently nudging Jessica aside, she pushed to standing and went to the railing. “My plan is to live my life apart from his. After today, I’m going to see to it that our paths rarely cross outside church. I won’t even sit with him during the service.” Not like old times, side by side with Tom and Megan on the wooden pew.

Jessica joined her, retying the shiny blue ribbon that had come loose about her thick mane. “He’ll be included in all the O’Malley events.”

“I can handle it.”

“Has he told you what he’s been up to all this time?”

“Not exactly.”

“You do realize he might be married. Or engaged. Not all men wear wedding bands. Anything could’ve happened in two years.”

Married. The possibility hadn’t occurred to her. Surely he’d been too distraught over Megan to notice other women! Dread and something too much like desperation cut into her. She couldn’t bear the thought, and that frightened her. Because it meant she wasn’t over him. It meant she was right back in the same impossible spot she’d been in when he’d been dreaming of forever with her sister.

Sucking in a shaky breath, Jane stiffened her spine. “Falling back into the same detrimental cycle is not an option. I refuse to waste any more time mooning after a man who doesn’t want me.”

“Good for you.” A wide smile blossomed on Jessica’s face. “Because now that I’m with Lee, I have no intention of letting you become a spinster.”

The longing for a husband and children of her own would have to go unfulfilled until she could successfully slay her hopes concerning Tom Leighton.

“I can’t dwell on the future. I have to focus on one day at a time.” The thudding of horses’ hooves against the hard earth alerted her. “He’s here.”

Retrieving her satchel, she looped it over her shoulder and entered the yard.

Jess followed. “Be strong, sister of mine. I’ll say a prayer for you.”

Tom guided the team to a stop. His motions fluid despite his impressive height, he jumped down and, after advising Clara to remain in the wagon bed, strode across the yard. Neat charcoal-gray trousers encased his long, muscular legs. A button-down shirt the color of spruce trees hugged his fit upper body, the rolled-up sleeves revealing corded forearms lightly dusted with fine hairs. His eyes glowed even brighter than usual. His dark hair hadn’t yet seen a pair of scissors, nor his chiseled jaw a razor. Strange. She’d thought he would’ve cleaned up for this first meeting with Megan. Personally, she preferred the rugged look. She linked her hands behind her back, away from the temptation of that beard, lest she succumb again to the need to touch him.

As he neared, his intense gaze lit on her, and he flashed an endearing smile she felt all the way to her toes.

She pitched her voice low. “Better pray hard, Jess. I’m going to need it.”

* * *

“I wasn’t sure you’d come.”

Beside him on the high seat, prim and proper and delicately beautiful in her high-collared russet-hued dress, she sat rigid with tension. Her knuckles were white where she gripped the wood.

“I wasn’t sure myself,” she said softly.

“I messed up, Jane. I was so absorbed in my own problems, I didn’t stop to consider your feelings.” If his brother was here, would he be saying the same things? How difficult would it be to come to a place of forgiveness? “I don’t blame you for being angry. Never should’ve asked Josh to keep my whereabouts quiet.”

“No more apologies, okay? What’s done is done.”

Frustrated at his inability to gauge her true state of mind, he dared take her hand. He wished he wasn’t wearing gloves so he could enjoy, however briefly, the soft texture of her skin. “You probably won’t believe me, but you were never far from my thoughts.”

Her gaze lifted from their joined hands to his face, searching, probing for answers. Opening up about what happened wasn’t easy. He’d do it for her sake, though.

“In those first months of trying to get my head on straight, I often asked myself what you’d think about this or that...if you’d appreciate the stark wildness of the land, the unending flatness of it all, a sky so blue it hurt to look at.” He smiled a little. “The ranch hands liked to sit out by the fire at night. There was one guy, Cookie, who played the guitar and sang the worst ditties you’ve ever heard in your life. Made me wish you were there to show them what a talented singer was supposed to sound like.”

Alone on his cot in the bunkhouse, he’d think back to those times he’d drifted off to the sound of her lyrical voice. Picnics with the O’Malley sisters, joined sometimes by Josh and his brothers, had been one of his favorite pastimes. Good food. Great company. When he could eat no more and the sun had lulled him into a sleepy state, he’d lain on a quilt, hat over his face, and listened to Jane’s soft singing as she poured her thoughts into her journal.

Jane didn’t comment. Face angled away, her attention was on the roaring river tumbling over moss-covered boulders and under the wooden bridge they were crossing. The air had a moist twang to it, a pleasant earthiness typical to this area. In the near distance, people bustled up and down Main Street conducting their daily business.

He was both surprised and pleased that she hadn’t removed her hand.

“The situation in Kansas...” His fingers subconsciously tensed on hers. “It deteriorated quickly after Jenny’s death. I found myself in charge of a very sad, confused little girl. Whenever I neared the end of my rope, tempted to give up, I’d think of you.”

Head tipping toward his, her fine brows crashed together. “Why?”

“You said it yourself. You finish what you start. You’re so strong, Jane. You handle difficulties with a grace I could only hope to mimic.”

“I would’ve given anything for one letter from you.”

She looked incredibly sad, and a little surprised she’d admitted it.

“That’s how I feel about Charles. He’s doing to me what I did to you. I’m not sure I’d forgive me if I were you.”

The wagon dipped to the side as the right front wheel hit a shallow depression. She didn’t flinch, didn’t remove her tumultuous gaze from his. “Our situations are vastly different. You didn’t owe me anything. Not really.”

“Our friendship mattered to me. You mattered. And I made you feel like you didn’t.”

He regretted that more than he could express.

Emotion slid behind her eyes. Mercy? Understanding?

Her mouth softened. “You’re home now. Let’s put the past to rest.”

She took her hand back then, and he stifled a protest.

Reins firmly in his grip, he glanced into the wagon bed to check on Clara, who’d been quiet the entire ride. Propped against the far side, she observed the passing scenery. Her springy curls were freshly washed—he winced at the memory of her protests as he’d tried to untangle them with a comb—but her yellow dress was too short, the puff sleeves a little too snug about her small arms. He was going to have to hire someone to fashion her a couple of new dresses. Maybe nightgowns, too. Even if he knew how to sew, there simply weren’t enough hours in the day.

Returning his attention to the rutted road, he said, “Something smells delicious. What’s in the basket?”

“Rhubarb pie.”

Tom groaned, his mouth watering at the prospect of sampling Jane’s cooking after so long a drought. “I sure hope your sister is in a sharing mood.”

At that, she stiffened. He wondered at the cause.

She twisted around to address his niece. “Do you like rhubarb, Clara?”

“I don’t know.”

He felt Jane’s speculative regard. “Did your sister-in-law not like to bake?”

“She did.” He lowered his voice. “Clara was only four when she passed and probably doesn’t remember a whole lot. And neither Charles nor I are that handy in the kitchen. We managed to get simple meals on the table. Nothing fancy.”

Lots of beans and corn bread. Slabs of pork fried in hog fat. Fried chicken. Sometimes vegetables made an appearance on their plates. Greens from the yard. Potatoes or carrots he’d purchased from a neighbor. After Charles lost himself in the bottle, preparing breakfast, lunch and dinner fell to Tom. The entire situation had exhausted him, mentally and physically. That wasn’t the kind of life he wished for Clara.

Not for the first time since he’d received guardianship, he considered the prospect of a wife. Clara would benefit from a woman’s presence. There were things he simply couldn’t teach her. With all the upheaval in their lives, however, he lacked the time and inclination to search for a suitable bride.

Admit it, marriage for convenience’s sake doesn’t appeal. You want the real deal. Like what Charles and Jenny had shared. Love. Mutual respect and affection. A true partnership.

As if she’d read his mind, Jane said haltingly, “Perhaps she could spend some afternoons with me and Jessica. I’d be happy to teach her the basics. She’s not too young to learn how to make dough for biscuits and bread. You’d have to tend the stove, of course.”

“I think that’s a fine idea.”

“Have you found a caretaker for her yet?”

Spying the turnoff to the Beaumont home, he shook his head as he urged the team onto the shaded lane. “Getting the farm into working order has dominated my time. You haven’t changed your mind, have you?”

“I wish I could help you.” She bit her lip. “I can’t.”

He didn’t speak as the trees thinned out and there atop a gentle incline sat the grand yellow Victorian. A ribbon of colorful blooms hugged the front of the house. More formal flower gardens were laid out behind the two-story home, with winding walkways and hidden benches and fountains. This place had once belonged to Lucian Beaumont’s grandfather. Lucian had come to Gatlinburg with the intention of selling it. Meeting Megan had changed his mind.

They stopped beside the barn. Setting the brake, he rested the reins in his lap and angled toward Jane. The light freckles stood out in sharp contrast to her skin. Even her lips had gone pale.

“Are you all right? You’re not ill, are you?”

“Ill?” She plucked at her stiff collar. “No.”

“Then what’s the matter?”

“I had a restless night, that’s all.”

Her smile had a brittleness to it that troubled him. This was more than merely being upset with him. Was she hurting because of her deceitful fiancé? Was it the humiliation of the public revelation keeping her up at night?

“Is it Roy? Did he come to see you?”

“He has no reason to.”

Curving a rogue strand behind her ear, she adjusted one of the pins supporting her elegant hair arrangement, swoops and twists and miniature braids that made her appear older than her years.

She gathered up her skirts and made to descend on her side. He thought he heard her mumble, “Let’s get this over with.”

“Wait.” He left his gloves under the seat. “I’ll assist you.”

His boots met the ground and, after swinging Clara free of the bed and making her giggle with how high he swung her, he reached up to grip Jane’s waist. She balanced herself against his shoulders. Once she was on the ground, Tom discovered he was reluctant to release her. She was warm and supple beneath his hands, the raised design on her bodice rubbing against his palms. A tiny gold cross suspended from a thin gold chain nestled in the hollow of her collarbone. It was the only piece of jewelry she wore, and he recognized it as a gift from her deceased father.

Quickly moving out of his reach, she held out a hand to his niece. “My sister has a little girl about the same age as you. Her name is Rose, and she has a beautiful, handcrafted doll house and a number of dolls that I’m sure she’d let you play with. Would you like that?”

Clara’s eyes grew large. Slipping her hand in Jane’s, she nodded, contemplative as they headed through the short grass to the sweeping front porch. Having retrieved the basket containing the pie, Tom walked behind the pair, thoughts in turmoil. He had to get a grip. If Jane guessed these strange notions bombarding him, she’d be deeply disturbed. Josh would throttle him.

Tom rationalized with generic facts. It was natural for him to notice the physical changes in her. Any man would be thrilled to be near her.

His mind was on Jane as they ascended the wide steps, crossed the porch boards painted white and rang the bell on the fancy, carved wooden door. As a result, he wasn’t prepared for the sight of his former love standing in the open doorway. All social graces abandoned him, and he stood gaping at Megan like a nervous young buck.

“Tom.” She blinked. “Jane.”

She hadn’t changed at all. Petite, shorter than him by several inches, Megan possessed an ethereal beauty that ought to be preserved in a painting. Ringlets the color of moonlight framed a face unblemished by the sun, her peaches-and-cream complexion in contrast to large sea-blue eyes.

“Hello, Megan. You’re looking as lovely as ever,” he blurted, regretting it when color surged in her cheeks and next to him, Jane’s harsh inhale punctuated the silence.

Great. No doubt they both assumed he was still madly in love.

Pulling open the door, she gestured for them to enter the small alcove, the sleeves of her pink-and-white-striped blouse fluttering. An ornate wedding band adorned her left hand. At his insistence, she’d worn his ring for a short time while considering his proposal. The day she’d returned it was high on his list of painful memories. Only after spending time with his brother and sister-in-law and witnessing their devotion to one another had he recognized she’d been right to refuse him.

Megan hadn’t loved him. A truth that didn’t inflict pain like it had before.

“Lucian mentioned that you’d returned. Is this your niece?”

Pulling himself together, he introduced the two and asked after her husband. While he and the New Orleans native weren’t friends, he respected the man.

“He’s out hunting with Patrick, our son.”

Josh had told him that the couple had experienced difficulties having children. Years ago, when the wounds from her rejection were still fresh and his jealousy toward Lucian Beaumont had raged in him, he might’ve experienced a twinge of satisfaction. But no more. He couldn’t rejoice at their troubles. He was glad they’d found a way to have a family.

Megan enfolded Jane in a brief hug. “How are you, sweetie?”

“Perfectly well.”

Jane stood slightly apart from him and Megan, as if she didn’t want to intrude. The siblings exchanged a look he couldn’t interpret. What was going on? And why did Jane look so miserable?