Читать книгу Expecting His Brother's Baby - Karen Smith Rose - Страница 10

When Kylie awakened, her room was pitch-black. No moon gave even an inkling of light. It was this time of night when she missed Alex most, and she wasn’t even sure why. What she missed was the way they’d been together after they first married. What she missed was the friendship and true caring they’d once shared. Over the past year, Alex had been away more than he’d been home. In the middle of the night, she’d often awakened, wishing he were there holding her, smiling at her in that crooked, boyish way he had. The daytime hours were so busy and passed so fast, she didn’t have time to think. At night she did. She had time to think, feel and miss what might have been.

She had turned in early because she’d been hurting and because she’d had to escape Brock’s questions as well as the look of censure in his eyes. The corner of her heart that at seventeen had thought he could do no wrong begged to be unlocked. But if she unlocked it, all of her fears and worries and regrets would come pouring out. She didn’t know if it was safe to give any of those to Brock. Her encounter with Trish Hammond was a sore that wouldn’t heal. She badly needed salve for it. When she had some time alone with Gwen and Shaye, she’d probably tell them about it. But it wasn’t something she could discuss easily. It wasn’t anything she could discuss when other people were around. It was embarrassing and humiliating and so deep-down painful, sometimes it took her breath away.

Alex had been unfaithful.

For how long? With more women than Trish? At the moment, she felt like Brock, wanting to evade or dismiss the past. She knew, in the long run, whatever happened to her would make her stronger. Still…right now she just plain hurt, emotionally and physically. Tears welled up in her eyes and she let them dribble down her cheeks. But then she stopped the self-pity, and as she had so often over the past months, she thought about her child.

Reaching to the nightstand, her fingers wrapped around her solution to insomnia—her tape player. There was a stack of cassettes there, too. She’d collected them over the years, and now switched on R. Carlos Nakai’s Christmas music.

The haunting notes of flutes and bells had her rubbing her tummy tenderly. “What do you think, baby? I know this is one of your favorites. You always settle down when I play this one.”

Her baby was a kicker, especially—it seemed—in the middle of the night. But this music always seemed to calm her little one, as well as her. Even if she didn’t sleep while it played, she rested. Sweet visions of the mountains and the mustangs and the water rippling calm and serene filled the darkest time of night.

Using a technique she’d learned from a yoga class she’d taken with Gwen and Shaye many years before, she consciously relaxed her muscles, breathing out stress, breathing in peace.

Two soft raps on the door broke her focused concentration. “Kylie? Are you okay?”

“If I say I’m fine, will you throw a fit?”

She didn’t hear his sigh or see the roll of his eyes, but she knew he probably did both.

He answered gruffly, “You have a concussion.”

Yes, she did. The doctor had told her it would be better if she weren’t alone for the next few days. He’d probably told Dix the same thing. That’s why Brock was here. Some misguided sense of duty. He’d gotten the full gift of responsibility that Alex had lacked.

She switched off the tape player. “If you want to come in and see for yourself I’m not in a coma, feel free.” Propping herself a little higher on the pillows, she turned on the bedside lamp.

The doorknob turned, the door opened and then Brock was standing there in her bedroom, looking as if he’d rather be anywhere else on earth.

“I can tell you my name, where I live and who’s President of the United States,” she assured him.

“Has anyone ever mentioned that you can be the most frustrating woman on the planet?”

“Not within the last year or so. But I imagine Dix would like to at least once a day.”

Finally, Brock’s lips twitched up at the corners. “Is the music for you or the baby?”

“That’s a toss-up. Sometimes it settles him or her down so I can fall asleep again.”

“How’s the shoulder?”

“If I don’t move, it’s not so bad.”

“Do you need ice? You didn’t bring any up with you.”

“Sometimes the ice bag makes me feel like a popsicle. I was going to try to relax into oblivion.” He was still wearing his jeans and snap-button shirt. Obviously he hadn’t turned in yet. “Have you been on the computer this whole time?”

“Actually, not your computer, but mine. I got a call after you went to bed. I’m finishing up a data summary and analysis for a job I did last month. The company’s having a board meeting on Monday and the CEO would like it by Friday. I’ll get to your books, just not tonight. I’ll catch a couple of hours of sleep before I check the cattle with Dix.”

“Does that mean you’re not going to watch my every move the rest of the day?”

His dark eyes stayed pinned to her. “It means I’ll set out everything you need for breakfast and be back in to get you lunch. Don’t even try to argue. For the next few days, just consider yourself pampered.”

Kylie had never been pampered. The idea that Brock was going to do it made her feel all warm and tingly inside. Maybe she should just give in and enjoy a few days of rest.

All of a sudden the baby started a kicking storm. Her hand went to her tummy and she smiled.

“You felt something?” Brock asked, coming a few steps closer.

“Whether I’ve got a boy or a girl, he or she will probably be a kick boxer.” Something in Brock’s expression made her ask, “Do you want to feel?”

In that moment, any camaraderie she’d felt with him fled. Heavy silence intensified the sound of the beating of her heart. She was wearing a flannel nightgown. When she’d shifted higher on her pillows, the coverlet had slipped and was only halfway covering her tummy. Nevertheless, she felt as if Brock could see right through her, could see beneath the quilt and her nightgown to the baby underneath.

“I think I’ll pass,” he responded, his voice low and deep.

Because he didn’t want to touch her? Because he didn’t want to touch Alex’s child? Because this baby was Jack Warner’s heir and could inherit Brock’s share of Saddle Ridge if she held onto the ranch? He had to resent her and the baby. There was no way they could have a common goal. No way he could help bring her dreams to fruition without trampling on his.

Had she thought they’d bond over Alex’s child? How naive could she get?

She’d been foolish to suggest that he feel her baby kick. She’d made an awkward situation even more awkward, and anything she said now would just make matters worse.

Pulling the covers up to her chin, she looked away from his nearly black eyes, looked away from the beard stubble on his jaw, looked away from the man who had intrigued her almost all of her life.

“Good night, Brock,” she almost whispered, tired of always trying to figure out the best thing to do, tired of feeling as if she were always swimming upstream against currents she’d never defeat.

“Good night, Kylie,” he returned, then left her room and closed the door.

Her throat tightened and she fought back tears, hating the hormone shifts that accompanied pregnancy. She thought about her wedding day and the album tucked away in the closet. She considered the days and nights Alex had been away and she’d been here alone. Then to her dismay, she all too vividly remembered the kiss she’d given Brock when she was seventeen and the way he’d kissed her back, just for a few moments. She felt guilty thinking about it, as if she were betraying Alex in some way. She’d wanted to be his wife. She’d expected their marriage to work. She’d thought they could be together more than they were apart.

One question played loudly in her head. What would have happened if Brock hadn’t come to Jack Warner’s funeral with a wife on his arm?

She didn’t have the answer to that one and expected she never would.

Kylie descended the steps the following morning, surprised she had slept so late. It was 10:00 a.m., and she never slept past 6:00. But she supposed her body was trying to heal itself. It was healing itself and keeping her baby safe.

When she reached the kitchen, she spotted the cereal on the table, the toaster pushed to the edge of the counter and the place set for her. It was as if Brock didn’t even want her on tiptoes reaching into the cupboards.

His words when she’d asked if he wanted to feel the baby were still clear in her head. I think I’ll pass. He was taking care of her out of misguided duty. He didn’t really want to be involved.

Suddenly, the front door opened and Brock came inside, along with a rush of cold, Wyoming air. He was wearing a down parka that looked like one of Dix’s, and his Stetson was pulled low. “I thought you might be getting up around now. How do you feel?”

“Better,” she responded, then assured him, “Really.”

Unzipping his coat, he hung it on the hook in the kitchen, then plopped his hat on the hat caddy beside the door. “I’m going to make a pot of coffee. I want to ride the parameters of the property and see just what condition the land is in.”

“You remember how to ride?” she teased.

“That’s not something I’ll ever be likely to forget. Sometimes on a site I’ve ridden to hard-to-reach places.”

“Hard to reach and dangerous?” she asked, thinking about the continents and countries where he might have found oil.

“Sometimes. That’s when the pay was really good.”

“Did your wife go with you? I know she was a geologist, too.”

“Ex-wife,” he reminded her, his shoulders more rigid, his deep brown eyes on the alert. “At the beginning, we worked jobs together. Then she got tired of the traveling and decided to take a staff job in Houston.”

“You didn’t want to take that kind of position?”

“Not particularly. I like the field work.”

Suddenly she wanted to know a lot more. “Is that what caused a rift between you?”

The clock ticked, the furnace fan switched on and finally Brock answered, “It doesn’t matter what happened between us. It’s over.”

After a brief hesitation, she asked, “Did you want it to be over? Or did she?”

“It was a mutual decision.”

She thought of Alex on the road. A husband and wife couldn’t have a marriage if one of them wasn’t there.

Although she didn’t say the thought aloud, Brock must have read her mind because he added defensively, “There was more than one reason why we divorced.”

“Do you still see her?”

“Enough questions, Kylie.” He looked angry and she didn’t know if that was because she was digging into his past, because she’d touched a nerve or because he was simply a private man.

Going to the coffeepot, he took it from the machine, filled the carafe with water and dumped it into the back.

“I didn’t mean to pry,” she said softly.

“Yes, you did. But what’s happened in my life has nothing to do with what’s going on here now.”

She wasn’t so sure of that. However, she took his very strong hint and changed the subject. “Speaking of what’s happening here now, how’s Feather?”

“She’s a looker,” he agreed. “Wary of me.”

“She won’t be for long if you’re patient with her.”

“We’ll see. Dix said you have a special oatmeal treat you give her.”

She pointed to a stoneware canister on the counter. “I make them myself when I have time. There’s about half a jar there. She also loves licorice hard candy.”

“I’ll remember that the next time I get into town. You’d better eat breakfast or it’s going to be time for lunch.”

As the coffee bubbled and brewed, Kylie went to the refrigerator for the container of milk. It was a gallon jug and more economical to buy it that way. But the container was still three quarters full and heavy.

Brock saw her go for the handle and was quickly beside her, his hand covering hers. “I’ll get it.”

She didn’t argue. She usually used two hands to maneuver it.

At the table he asked, “Do you want a glass of milk besides what’s on your cereal?”

“Half a glass.”

After he poured the milk into the bowl and the glass, he set the jug on the table and really studied her. They were standing close—close enough that she could smell the pine of his aftershave, the scent of Brock that hadn’t changed all these years. She’d pulled the upper part of her hair back in a ponytail and let the rest flow long. Now he touched her forehead beneath her bangs. With anyone else she probably would have shied away. The area where she’d hit her head was tender.

His thumb was calloused, but oh, so gentle as it traced the edges of the bruise. “It’s changing color. It’ll be gone in a few days.”

“I hope my shoulder heals as quickly. There are so many things I want to be doing.”

“Like?”

“Like finishing making Christmas gifts. Like decorating for the holidays. Like getting the nursery ready. Like doing anything in the barn I possibly can. I can’t stay out of the barn, Brock. I need the smell of hay to live.”

Shaking his head, his hand tenderly cupped her cheek. “You can breathe in the hay. You just can’t shovel it or move it. When you’re feeling better, you can feed Feather her snacks. But that’s about it, Kylie. You know it and so do I.”

His touch on her skin sent tingling through her body. Why was she reacting like this? Because she already missed being held? Because she missed the intimacy between a man and a woman? Because when Brock touched her, she felt cared for and almost cherished in a way she’d never felt with Alex?

This was wrong…for both of them. When she stepped away from him, his eyes became flat and unreadable.

The front door flew open. Gwen Langworthy and Garrett Maxwell tumbled inside.

Seeing her in the kitchen, Gwen called, “Dix told us to come on in.”

Gwen was carrying a chocolate bundt cake wrapped in plastic wrap.

In his arms Garrett lugged a huge carton. Taking it to the kitchen, he set it on the table. “I’ve got meat loaf and scalloped potatoes, a tray of lasagna and a frozen apple pie.”

Kylie’s eyes misted. “You shouldn’t have gone to all of this trouble.”

Maneuvering around the table, Gwen gave Kylie a hug. “No trouble. We had to eat. I just made double.”

“Garrett, this is Brock Warner, Alex’s brother. Brock, this is Garrett Maxwell, Gwen’s fiancé.”

Brock shook the man’s hand. “Congratulations are in order. You’re marrying after Christmas?”

“December twenty-eighth,” Garrett answered with a grin.

Brock turned to Gwen. “And I remember you from the days you came riding here after Kylie moved in. You haven’t changed.”

“I don’t know if that’s good or bad,” Gwen responded wryly. She patted Kylie’s shoulder. “We can’t stay and visit with you now. We have a meeting with a contractor this afternoon to talk about enlarging Garrett’s house.”

“So there will be room for Tiffany and the baby?”

“For them or just for us. We want Tiffany and Amy to stay as long as they need to,” Garrett interjected. “But already Tiffany is talking about getting an apartment with another young mother in the spring.”

“I’m going to miss them terribly when they leave,” Gwen admitted.

Kylie briefly filled in Brock. “Someone left a baby inside Gwen’s sunroom. After a search, she and Garrett found Tiffany, the young mom who hadn’t wanted to give up her baby, but hadn’t known what else to do. Gwen took them both in.”

“It was a kind thing to do,” Brock said.

Garrett dropped his arm around Gwen’s shoulders. “She likes mothering. If Tiffany and Amy move out, we’ll just have to work on producing some kids of our own.”

Her cheeks flushed, Gwen murmured, “Well, they aren’t going anywhere yet. And that’s another reason we stopped by. How would the two of you like to join us for Thanksgiving dinner? Garrett’s mom is flying in and my dad and a lady he’s seeing will be joining us, too, along with Tiffany and Amy, of course.”

Before Kylie could consider the invitation, Brock broke in. “The doctor wants Kylie to rest. Especially for the first week. She’s still pretty sore and tired and—”

“I’m right here, Brock. I can answer for myself.” She gazed up at Gwen. “I’d really love to come, but I can’t. I have to take care of myself and the baby. Maybe next week we can get together. I should be feeling a lot better by then.” She glanced up at Brock. “You could consider going for Thanksgiving dinner at Gwen’s.”

Appearing startled at that suggestion, he shook his head. “On Wednesday I’m picking up a turkey for us. We’re not going to let Thanksgiving go by without roasting a bird.”

“You’re going to cook?” Kylie looked amazed.

“I’m going to cook. I’ve developed skills over the past few years you know nothing about.”

There was a flash of something primitive in Brock’s eyes that connected to something just as primitive in Kylie. With her gaze locked to his, she trembled. The idea of spending Thanksgiving day alone with Brock was scary, intimidating and…exciting.

She shouldn’t be feeling excitement now. She should be mourning Alex’s loss. She should be nurturing the good memories they’d had between them. She should be remembering their friendship.

But all she could remember was Trish’s satisfied expression. All she could feel was the deep betrayal a wife experiences when her husband turns to another woman instead of her.

Underneath all of it was the invisible bond she felt to Brock.

After Gwen and Garrett’s visit, Brock had skipped lunch to finish examining the property. As he came into the house that afternoon, he found Kylie washing out her soup bowl.

“You can just leave that in the sink.” He wished she’d stop cleaning up after herself. He wished she’d stay put on the sofa, rest and heal. But she wouldn’t want to hear that again from him.

To make conversation, he remarked, “Garrett said he used to be FBI.” He’d actually enjoyed talking to Gwen’s fiancé. They’d quickly established a rapport over computer lingo. Garrett was now a security specialist for Web sites and alarm systems. But mostly, Brock had been interested in his search-and-rescue work. As a pilot, Garrett often took off at the beep of his cell phone to look for a lost child.

“Does Gwen know what she’s getting into, marrying a man like him?” Brock asked.

Kylie swung around to glare at him. “What do you mean? He’s a good man.”

“I don’t doubt that. But how does she feel when he takes off in his Skyhawk and she doesn’t know when he’s coming back?”

“Gwen’s strong. And she knows how important Garrett’s search-and-rescue missions are to him. She already went through a rough situation with him landing his plane in a snowstorm. That’s when they both realized how much they loved each other.”

Just from his conversation with her, Brock could tell Gwen was less traditional than Kylie, more assertive and just as stubborn.

“He invited me to the hangar to check out his plane.”

“Gwen’s dad hangs out there sometimes. He often acts as a spotter for Garrett.”

Kylie dried her hands on the dish towel. But as she tried to do it one-handed, the towel slipped through her fingers and fell to the floor. She stooped to retrieve it, but when she came up she wobbled a little.

In two long strides, Brock was beside her, his arm around her, steadying her. “What’s wrong?”

“I just got a little dizzy.” With his arm around her, she was practically in his arms…practically against his chest…practically holding onto his shoulder.

“You came up too fast,” he murmured, his chin close to her cheek.

When she took a deep breath, her hand slipped from his shoulder. He felt the path of it scorch through his shirt. The heat of her body fired his. Remembering that kiss so long ago, he wondered how she’d kiss now that she was a woman.

Damn it, he couldn’t go there.

Straightening, he put some distance between them. Only a few inches, but it helped. “Maybe you’d better take a nap this afternoon.”

“I don’t want to have trouble getting to sleep tonight.”

“Then go prop your feet up on the sofa. I can start a fire and you can listen to music.”

“I need to go upstairs and finish the beadwork on a Christmas present.”

“One-handed?”

“I can use my other hand if I’m careful. I just can’t move my shoulder.”

“Christmas is still weeks away.”

“I have a lot to do. I’m preparing for a baby as well as Christmas. I don’t trust myself with a sewing machine yet, but I can work at the table for a little while.”

He’d seen the table set up with containers of beads, pieces of leather and special tools.

Wanting to keep an eye on her, he figured out how to do it. “I could start going through the ranch’s records while you’re there. Then if there’s something I don’t understand, you could explain it.” He wanted to start with the year before his father’s death and look at the figures for each succeeding year to see where the money had gone, to examine what expenses had taken their toll, to read why Saddle Ridge had gone into a decline.

“All right. We can do that. I’ve kept the books since Jack died.”

“You have?”

Drawing away from him, she pulled a pack of saltines from the counter and took out a few. “You know Alex always said he didn’t have a head for figures.”

“I know that’s what he said. But I’m not sure I always believed him. He preferred being in the barn to sorting receipts.”

“Wouldn’t anybody?” she quipped.

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

“How about you?” she asked. “Which would you prefer?”

“I’d prefer the barn,” he replied easily. “But I know reports and vet records and feed expenses all go along with it.”

“Alex only liked to do the things he liked to do,” she murmured.

There was something in her tone that made him look a little closer. Yes, he saw grief in her eyes, but was there more than that? Had she helped run the ranch into the ground, too? He couldn’t see much evidence of that. Still, Kylie could have an expensive hobby he didn’t know about besides making Christmas presents for her friends.

“It would be nice if we could just forget the drudgery, but we can’t,” he remarked.

The statement was meant to be leading, and he waited for her to say something else. Something more. He wanted to know if the pain in her eyes was from grief and loss or regret. But she didn’t say more and the silence weighed heavily between them.

Finally he nodded to the saltines. “I don’t see how you can eat those. They taste like cardboard.”

“They don’t,” she protested with a smile. “Especially not when they’re fresh. I’m trying to stay away from that chocolate cake Gwen brought.”

“She brought it for you to eat.”

“Oh, and I’m sure I will. But I’m trying to be good for today. Are you ready to go up now?”

For some insane reason, he wanted to sweep her up into his arms and carry her up those stairs. He wanted to make sure she didn’t fall, didn’t trip, didn’t overuse her shoulder. He was just going to stick close to her for a few days until she was feeling better, yet he realized the thought of doing that was both a pleasure and a pain. When he was around her, he knew he should stay away from her. When he wasn’t around her, he worried about her. He attributed it all to his big-brother protective instincts taking over. She was such a little bit of a thing, even pregnant.

Had his brother felt this protective of her?

That question gave him a stone-cold feeling. He motioned toward the staircase. “Ladies first.”

Once upstairs in the spare room, Brock realized how bad an idea this was. The room was small, barely big enough for the computer setup, Kylie’s sewing machine, her craft supplies and the table she worked on. There was a soft leather purse laying on the table with fringes that were partially beaded.

When Kylie sat in the wooden chair at the table, he asked, “Don’t you want a pillow or something?”

“A pillow would just slide off. This chair’s just right with the table.” She switched on an intensity light where she was working.

Although he booted up the computer, that wasn’t where his attention stayed. Maybe it was the scent of Kylie’s shampoo, or some kind of lotion. She’d never been one for perfume. She’d always chosen natural scents. This combination was something like peach and spice. At least that’s what it smelled like to him.

When he glanced at her over his shoulder, she was already busy at work. She had her left arm propped on the table and was using her hands to hold the leather. Her head was bent and her silky, glossy hair, more golden than any wheat field, fell lazily over her shoulder. As she used tweezers and wire, her fingers almost looked as if they were dancing.

Again he turned his focus to the computer screen and the icons there, clicked on the accounting program and found the year he was looking for. But Kylie working silently less than five feet away was a distraction he couldn’t ignore.

Out of the blue she asked, “What size turkey did you order?”

“It’s big. I just told Vince Shafer to hold one for me. How long has he had the store on Bear Claw Road? He used to sell from his ranch.”

Kylie had her lips pursed as she concentrated on slipping the bead onto the piece of rawhide. “Mmm, about three years, I guess. It’s only been the last one or two he’s gone organic with some of the vegetables. I like that idea, especially now that I’m pregnant.” Her gaze came up to meet Brock’s and he saw there hopes and dreams and longings that twisted in his chest.

She broke eye contact first and went back to her beadwork.

“How did Alex feel about being a father-to-be?” Brock asked nonchalantly, though he was feeling anything but nonchalant.

She took her time in answering. When she did, it was evasive. “He was getting used to the idea.”

“My guess is, he did want a son so he’d be able to teach him all the secrets of bull riding.”

After a moment, Kylie responded, “We never really discussed that.” Then she stood. “I think I am going to take that nap. This position’s hurting my shoulder and…and I don’t want to make it worse than it is.”

When she walked to the door, Brock thought she was as graceful as ever, pregnant or not.

Then she was gone, just like that, leaving him with too many questions.

He was going to find the answers…and soon.