Читать книгу Mission: Marriage - Karen Whiddon - Страница 15

As the door closed behind Natalie, Sean sighed. He felt like an idiot, mooning after her when she continued to make it clear she wanted nothing to do with him.

Yet he’d seen her when she didn’t know he was watching, when she let her guard down.

She wanted him as badly as he craved her.

This, and only this, kept his hope alive. Sex between them had always been out of this world.

The shower started and he allowed himself the fantasy of joining her. Once, they’d taken turns surprising the other, slipping in the tub and playing with the soap. He grew hard just thinking about it. If he kept this up, he’d have to make his shower an icy-cold one.

Natalie’s cell phone rang, distracting him. For half a second, he debated ignoring it and letting her return the call, but he snatched it up and said hello.

Corbett’s clipped British accent boomed through the earpiece. While Sean spoke with him, he heard Natalie turn off the shower. A mental image of drying her with a fluffy white towel had to be pushed away as Sean tried to concentrate on listening to his former boss.

Corbett rang off and Sean closed the phone as Natalie emerged from the bathroom, finger-brushing her damp hair. She glanced at him, noticed him holding her phone, and froze. “Did he call?”

“Yeah, that was Corbett. He’s arranged a drop-off for us.”

She visibly relaxed. “I hope he’s providing more weapons.”

“Yes, and other supplies. He specifically mentioned a laptop.”

Her smile made him ache. “Wow, that was fast. Where’s he leaving it?”

“Bus station, downtown. In about forty-five minutes.”

“That’s so clichéd it works.” She laughed, then bent over to shake out her short locks. When she straightened, her hair stood out from her head in wanton disarray.

He couldn’t stop staring at her. She looked like a beautiful, exotic stranger.

“What?” She lifted a brow. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I can’t get used to you with red hair.”

Her smile faded. He could have sworn she looked wounded for half a second, before she lifted one shoulder in what might have passed for a carefree shrug if he hadn’t known her. “I know I look better as a blonde, but my hair color doesn’t matter right now.”

Ah, but it did. Only he couldn’t tell her. He’d learned to paint, alone in his remote crofter’s cottage. Amateurish, true, but every canvas had come alive with her face, her eyes, her smile. And her silky hair the bright color of sunshine. He’d painted the true her, letting the images serve as a reminder of the short time in his life when he’d been the happiest.

He’d loved her more than he’d ever loved anything, before and since.

But she knew none of this and never would. He forced his own face into a nonchalant expression. “Give me five minutes in the bathroom and I’ll be ready, too.”

When she didn’t answer, he hobbled to the bathroom door, feeling like a lovesick fool.

The area around the bus station smelled of diesel. They parked two blocks away and Natalie got out. She walked on the opposite side of the street while Sean parked since he couldn’t walk. Pretending only a cursory look at Sean, Natalie gave him a quick nod as he went in, limping in his cast. Natalie waited, counted to ten, then crossed the street with a crowd, her bulky sweater and sturdy boots nondescript, her dark-red hair making her blend in with everyone else. She kept one hand in her pocket, where she’d stuck her pistol. Just in case.

While Sean was inside the bus station, Natalie remained outside, scanning the inevitable group of vagrants and panhandlers hanging around the front. Assassins could easily hide among them, and no one would notice. Well—she wrinkled her nose—except for the smell.

She kept her back to the brick as a safety precaution. Casually, pretending to be taking in the scenery, she watched people hurrying past. In reality she was searching for anything or anyone the slightest bit out of place. She felt horribly exposed. A shooter could appear from any direction, under the cover of the crowd and the noise, and begin firing. Innocent people would be hurt.

She breathed a sigh of relief when, a few minutes later, Sean emerged, carrying a large black duffel bag. He hobbled down the street without even glancing at her.

Again, Natalie counted to ten and then sauntered off as though she wasn’t following him or even heading any place in particular. She stopped to peer in shop windows and lifted her chin to breathe in the scent of fresh-made scones from a bakery. Just an everyday citizen, out for a stroll on a chilly autumn day.

No one shot at her. Must be her lucky day.

When she reached the car, Sean already had it running. Slipping into the passenger seat, she secured her seat belt and locked her door as they took off. He drove slowly, not wanting to attract attention.

“Corbett came through. Though I wasn’t able to spend much time checking out the contents of the bag, Corbett’s pretty thorough. I’m sure we’ve got what we need. Money, weapons, food.”

“Don’t forget my computer.” Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes.

“Our computer.”

Opening her eyes and staring at him, she crossed her arms. “What do you mean? Corbett wants me to work on deciphering some code.”

“You aren’t the only one he’s asked to do something.” He grimaced. “I may not be an active employee, but Corbett Lazlo is still the best in the business. When he suggests I do something, I tend to listen.”

She sighed. “All right, I’ll ask since you apparently aren’t going to volunteer. What are you going to do with the laptop?”

“Corbett wants me to try to hack into the SIS system.”

This destroyed any sense of relaxation she might have harbored. Appalled, she shook her head. “It’s impossible.”

“So they tell you. But it has been done and I’m pretty good. I’ve had two years of nothing but practice.”

“Pretty good?” She snorted. “Hackers have been trying for years. Whatever kind of firewall SIS has in place is top-notch.”

With a grin, he shrugged. “I’m not trying to get into the supersecured area, just far enough to wreak a little havoc. All I can do is try.”

“True. Say you do succeed. What then?”

“Corbett thinks we should set a trap. It’s highly likely the mole’s still got people there.” Steering around a sharp curve, he shot her a look. “What about you? What’s this code Corbett wants you to crack?”

Reaching into her backpack, she withdrew a small plastic case. “Corbett wants me to compare his code to this one.”

She opened the case to show him the tiny flash drive. “It’s the code I was working on at headquarters, the one I’d brought home with me the night my team was slaughtered. As you probably know, we’re forbidden to take anything out of the lab. So no one at SIS knows I have it.”

“That’s not like you. Or,” he amended, “at least not the way I remember you. That’s a safety precaution.”

“Yes, but not following that particular rule just might save my life if I can finish decoding this. Someone sent assassins to kill us all. And to destroy the code.”

Traffic had slowed, the car was inching along in a line of others. “It was my time off. I decided to take a spontaneous trip to Glasgow. I saw no need to explain my whereabouts. So the assassins didn’t know where to find me.”

“You’ve changed.”

The blunt assessment should have wounded her. Once, maybe. Not now. “I know. But after you … died, I decided I no longer wanted to color inside the lines.” She shot him a grin, her best imitation of his own cocky one. “It worked. My success rate went way up. I’ve been promoted twice, most recently to team leader. So, if I’ve changed, I think it’s for the better.”

He went silent, considering. To her disgust she found herself hoping he’d agree.

Instead, he asked another question. “How do you know they even looked for you?”

“They destroyed my flat. I’d taken the code with me, so I don’t think they’re aware I have it.”

One corner of Sean’s mouth quirked up in a half smile. “I’m glad they didn’t get you.”

“Yeah. That way you didn’t have to fake your death for nothing.” Bitterness again leaked through her voice. While she wished she could have sounded impersonal, she couldn’t help it. This was Sean. He should understand how she felt.

Once, he would have. Back when they’d allowed emotion and hot, wild sex to be the basis for their marriage. She hadn’t even known she’d wanted more, until now.

He took her hand, covering it with his. Staring down at their intertwined fingers, she tried to regain her equilibrium. She’d always loved his hands—masculine and callused. The roughness of his skin gave her a sense of protection, or had, once.

Now, his touch only made her hurt and angry.

She pulled her hand away and took a deep breath. “Are you sure Corbett was able to send us a laptop?”

“Yep.” He jerked his thumb toward the duffel bag in the backseat. “The laptop’s in there—I checked.”

“What about an Internet connection?” Keeping focused on business would be the only thing that could keep her from crying.

Sean seemed to understand. “Corbett said it would have wireless. All I have to do is find a hot spot, and I can work.”

Of course he’d go first. His job involved a bait-and-wait situation, while hers would be time-consuming and tricky.

Not to mention the fact that deciphering code required intense concentration. She found it far too difficult to concentrate with him around.

Still, she hadn’t gotten to be a team leader without understanding how to work well on a team.

“While you’re trying to hack into my employer’s database, what should I do?”

The grateful look he sent her wasn’t lost on her. She was astonished to realize he’d thought she would argue.

“Play lookout, of course. Stop the bad guys before they get to me. Once I get inside the system, I can’t be interrupted.”

He spoke like it was a done deal. “Pretty confident, aren’t you?”

“I told you, I’m pretty good.” He lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “Let’s just say I’ve perfected my computer skills over the last two years.”

Like an arrow straight to her heart. Another reminder that he’d lived an entire life without her, while she’d dedicated herself to her job and had barely lived at all.

Correction, she thought grimly. She’d learned to live for her work and nothing else.

A honking horn brought her out of her reverie.

“Do you think there’s been an accident?”

He checked his watch. “No. Just normal rush-hour traffic. Help me look for a hot spot or a place that advertises an Internet connection.”

“There.” She pointed. Someone had converted an old church into a trendy coffee shop. Sean swung out of the traffic and into a small lot across the street from the stone building. He found a spot and parked, leaving the engine idling while he leaned over the seat and rummaged in the duffel bag.

“Here we go.” He pulled out a smallish laptop. “State-of-the-art. That’s good.”

Her fingers itched to examine the machine, but she wisely held her tongue. “Good luck. What kind of time are you going to get once you’re in?”

“Pretty confident of my abilities, aren’t you?”

Throwing her own words right back at her. She couldn’t help but smile. “Maybe your self-assurance is contagious. How about an answer? Once you get into the SIS system, what then? What kind of a trap?”

“I’ll figure that out once I’m in the system. Until I see what’s involved, I have no idea.” He got out of the car. “Wait here.”

As he’d no doubt known she would, she bristled. “I’d rather go in.”

“You’d be a better lookout in the car.”

“And you’d be trapped inside, alone. A sitting duck.”

“Better one than both of us.”

She pushed open her door. “Don’t start that.”

“Start what?”

“Trying to protect me.”

He glared at her as she brushed past him. “I don’t like this,” he growled, catching up and taking her arm.

Shaking free, she gave him her sweetest, most fake, smile. “Then why don’t we both just sit in the car? You’d have more privacy.”

“And we’d also be a helluva lot more noticeable.” He held open the café’s door for her to pass through. “Plus, I happen to have a craving for a strong cup of coffee.”

The robust aroma inside tickled her nose. She licked her lips. She’d always loved the scent of fresh coffee. “I could go for a café mocha.”

He flashed her the grin that had always made her knees go weak. “I’ll buy you one when I’ve finished.”

“I’ll buy my own, thank you.”

He shot her a look full of amusement. “Then buy me one, too, sweetheart.”

She bit her tongue to keep from telling him not to call her sweetheart. No doubt he knew and was doing it deliberately to bait her. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of rising to the bait.

Stalking to the counter, she ordered two large mochas. Sean claimed a table near the front, taking a seat with his back to the wall, protecting his computer screen from curious eyes as well as enabling him to watch the door. Exactly where she would have sat, had she been the one working on the laptop.

Once the drinks were ready, she carried them to the table and read the newspaper while he worked. She pretended to be intent on the articles, but continually scanned the door and watched out the window for anything out of the ordinary.

“Bingo,” he said softly. Barely twenty minutes had passed. “I’m in.”

“No way.”

With a quick glance at her over the top of the screen, he grinned. “I told you I was good.”

Pretending to scan her newspaper, pretending her heart hadn’t skipped a beat at the pure masculinity of his grin, she lazily turned a page before peering at him. “Now you set a trap. In code?”

“In code,” he confirmed. “Once it’s set, all we can do is wait.”

“Good.” Folding the paper neatly, she placed it on the table and took a long drink of her coffee. “I can’t wait to get started on my work.”

“Not here.”

“Of course not.” But his words made her want to snatch the computer away from him and start working immediately.

Natalie sighed. She had to do something about this crazy urge to do the exact opposite of everything Sean said. Not only was it childish, it wasn’t safe for either of them.

She drew a deep breath. She also needed to do something about this sexual tension. Constant arousal and unrequited need didn’t do much for a girl’s mood.

If only she could stop wanting him.

She almost laughed. Almost. She knew all she had to do was initiate lovemaking and Sean would do the rest. Such a solution might help one problem, but would only exacerbate another.

Making love would only pretend to strengthen ties that had become nearly nonexistent. And her feelings for her husband were about much more than lust and desire.

If only she could stop loving him.

Grabbing her half-finished coffee, she followed him out the door.

They found a quiet inn a few miles from downtown, in a nontourist part of town.

Sean called Corbett while Natalie was in the bathroom. Quickly, he brought the older man up to speed. “I’ll check the system frequently to see if he takes my bait.”

“Excellent.” Corbett sounded stressed—unusual for him. “How is everything else going with you two?”

Though he knew the other man meant relationship-wise, Sean pretended not to understand. “Never a dull moment, that’s for sure. This is getting ridiculous, since we can’t even seem to get a handle on who the Hungarian is using to take us out. I almost feel like he put up reward money and every Tom, Dick and Harry is taking potshots at us.”

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s see.” Sean ticked the items off on his fingers. “We’ve been shot at, had grenades lobbed at us, buildings blown up, associates murdered and we have no more information than we did when we started.”

“Information about …”

“About anything.” Sean clenched his teeth, holding back though he wanted to explode. “If this was a regular mission, with a team and a well-thought-out plan, that would be one thing. But there’s just the two of us, wandering around with blindfolds on. Sure, me hacking into the SIS system was a good plan, and Natalie is trying to decipher that code, but we need to get our act together before someone gets killed.”

“I understand.”

“No, Corbett. I don’t think you do.” Sean’s temper flared. “Natalie has been through enough.”

“As have you.” The other man’s voice was serious and quiet. “Get a grip. I want the man responsible just as much as you do.”

Corbett sighed. “Someone is trying to undermine the Lazlo Group, Sean. I’ve got all kinds of operations going wrong and operatives going dead. Between the mole in the SIS and the mole at Lazlo everything is being disrupted. Maybe it’s the work of the Hungarian, maybe it’s not. But we won’t know that until we find him, and stop him.”

“Why?” Sean had been wanting to ask this question ever since he’d first come to work for the Lazlo Group. “What did you do to the Hungarian to make him hate you so much?”

“Natalie asked me the same thing.”

“Did you answer her?”

“No.”

“Are you going to answer me?”

“I doubt it. That’s a long story and things are too crazy here to go into it now. Remember, I’ve lost people too.” A hint of anger colored Corbett’s cultured voice.

Sean apologized. “I’m sorry. There’s a lot of tension between Natalie and me. This is hell for both of us. I don’t know why you thought we could work together.”

“She needed help and asked for the best. You’re the best.”

“Once, maybe. Not now.”

Corbett ignored him. “Plus I’ve gotten tired of you pining away for her up there in that godforsaken cottage you call home.”

Sean knew better than to argue. What Corbett said was the indisputable truth. “True, I missed her. But I didn’t realize she’d hate me when she saw me again.”

“Does she, Sean? There’s a fine line between love and hate.”

“Spare me the platitudes. I’ve seen how she is when she loves. Trust me, this is hate.”

“She’s hurting.”

Like they both weren’t? “Defending her?”

With a sigh, Corbett conceded the point. “You know Nat’s like a daughter to me.” Which was why Corbett had asked Sean to help protect her to begin with.

About to respond, Sean winced when the smoke alarm went off. The high-pitched wailing made hearing anything else impossible.

“I’ve got to go.” Sean disconnected the call. He didn’t smell smoke, but that didn’t mean a hell of a lot. With the constant attacks on them—and their enemies’ disconcerting way of tracking them down—he wouldn’t be surprised to learn the building was on fire.

The bathroom door opened. With no makeup on, Natalie looked impossibly young.

“What’s going on?” she yelled. “Where’s the fire?”

He could tell she’d changed hastily since her top was inside out. He grabbed the laptop then her arm and led the way to the door. “I don’t know, but we’d better get out.”

She balked. “What if it’s a trap?”

“What if it’s not?”

Outside, the air was bracingly chilly. The wind coming out of the north felt like ice. They kept close to the building, looking for smoke.

Other people poured from the building and stood around in clusters, some looking confused, others angry or bemused. All of them looked cold.

Fire engines pulled up in front of the inn.

“There’s no smoke,” someone said.

“I don’t see anything.” Sean squinted into the early-afternoon glare. The bright sunlight seemed at odds with the bitter cold. “No smoke. No fire.”

“False alarm.” One of the bellmen came outside and shouted. “Once the fire department gives the okay, everyone can return to their rooms. It should be just a few minutes.”

“Good.” Wrapping her arms around herself, Natalie shivered. “Damn. I wish I’d grabbed my coat.”

He pulled her into his arms. “Come here.” When she hesitated, he shook his head. “No funny business, Nat. Shared body heat is better. You’ll be warmer this way.”

She relaxed against him, but only slightly. “Have you checked out the parking lot?”

“We’re on the north side of the building. All the cars are parked on the south. Whoever pulled the fire alarm wanted us out of the building, but why?”

“The code!” The bellman indicated they could return to their rooms and she ran for the entrance. “Maybe they think I left it in the room.”

He limped after her, struggling to keep up. “Did you?”

“Of course not,” she scoffed. “It’s with me. I never let it out of my sight. And Corbett’s info is on the laptop.”

“How would they know you have either of them?”

“That’s what I’d like to know.” Shooting him an exasperated look, she yanked open the side door and quickly entered the registration area.

“Nat, wait for me. We’re a team, remember? For now, you’re supposed to work with me, to trust me.” The instant he spoke he knew he’d made a major mistake.

“Been there, done that. No thanks.” She stopped a moment and looked at him, her face unreadable, her mouth set in a grim line that was totally unlike the Natalie he knew and loved.

“Nat, wait …”

Ignoring him, she kept going.

Since he had no choice, he followed, grabbing her arm. “You can’t just walk away from me if we’re going to work together …”

“Work?” She spun to face him and he was startled to see tears in her caramel eyes. “This has nothing to do with work.”

Sean took a deep breath. “Look, Nat, I know you’ll never forgive me for what I did two years ago. I can explain my reasons until I’m blue in the face, and you won’t understand.”

“I swear if you say it’s time to put the past behind us and move forward, I’m going to puke all over you.”

Since that was exactly what he’d been planning to say, he said nothing. Instead, he kept his mouth shut and stared at her.

She stared back, the coldness of her expression at war with the pain in her eyes.

“You’ve gone on with your life, have you?” he finally asked.

“As best I could.”

“You’ve found someone else then?”

For the space of one heartbeat, two, she said nothing. Finally, she made an odd little sound and shook her head. “You don’t know how badly I’d like to lie and tell you yes, I’ve found someone else.”

“Like Dennie Pachla, the doctor?” he suggested, hating himself for asking but wanting, needing to know.

“He’s a friend.” Her voice was tired. “Like Auggie. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but there’s been no one else.”

Some devil urged him on. “Why not?” he pushed. “Two years is plenty of time for a griefstricken widow to move on with her life.”

She looked down, twisting her hands together. When she finally raised her head, the anguished look on her face made him feel as if he’d twisted the knife.

“Do you know what it’s like to love someone so much that every beat of your heart echoes theirs?” Her voice broke, but she didn’t cry.

Before he could answer, she continued.

“Do you have any idea, any idea at all, what it’s like to love someone that much and then have them ripped out of your arms?”

“Yes,” he said quietly. “I do.”

“I don’t think so.” She held up her hand when he would have argued. “Because honestly, Sean, if you had, you would have known I nearly followed you to the grave.”

Shocked, stunned, he shook his head. “You mean you …? Corbett never told me.”

“Corbett doesn’t know. Would it have made a difference, Sean? Would you have shown up at my funeral?”

“How can you ask such a thing?” Now, when he’d thought he had nothing left unbroken, the last bit of his heart shattered. “I can’t believe you tried to—”

She shrugged. “It wasn’t intentional, Sean. I was hurting and my doctor had prescribed pills. I suppose I knew I shouldn’t mix antidepressants and alcohol, but I only intended to have one drink.” She took a deep breath. “Next thing I knew, I woke up in a hospital.”

This he couldn’t wrap his mind around. “I had no idea.”

“How could you? You were dead.”

The repercussions of his lie had been worse and had spread wider than he’d ever imagined. “I couldn’t have lived with myself if you’d died,” he said.

“How do you think I felt?” The sheer anguish in her voice struck him raw. And as she turned away, he wanted only to wrap her tight in his arms and tell her he’d never let her go again.