Читать книгу Healed By Their Unexpected Family - Karin Baine - Страница 12

IT HAD BEEN three months since that dreaded phone call from Jamie, but she could still hear it.

‘I’m sorry, Kayla, there’s been an accident. Tom, Liam...they didn’t make it.’

Her world had fallen apart with those words at a time when she should have been enjoying her pregnancy. She’d conceived on the first attempt, thanks to the assistance at the fertility clinic and not an afternoon of passion with Jamie. With their brothers’ well-timed intervention that day, she’d taken back control of her senses and avoided any further one-to-one dealings with Jamie.

The guys had gone over to Vietnam to tie up loose ends on the project they’d been working on out there. As Tom was an architect, and Liam a builder, they’d used their skills to build a medical centre for an impoverished area they’d visited on their holidays a few years ago. This was supposed to have been their babymoon, their last trip before they settled down into family life. Heavy rainfall had caused flooding, resulting in a landslide in the area where they’d been staying. Liam and Tom had been swept away to their deaths.

It was only a matter of weeks before this baby was due and she had no idea how she was going to do everything on her own.

‘Kayla. Let me in.’

Oh, yes, and Jamie had suddenly turned into a stalker, showing up all the time and trying to convince her he was out to win Father of the Year. It was a complete turnaround from his visits earlier in the pregnancy when he’d been more interested in catching up with his brother than acknowledging the baby. The way she’d preferred it. Life was difficult enough for her trying to come to terms with the fact she was about to become a mum without having to deal with him and those unwanted feelings he kept stirring up inside her.

‘I don’t care if you are the father of this baby. You’re practically a stranger and I have no intention of letting you interfere in my life.’ Kayla slammed the door and promptly burst into tears. This was all such a mess.

She rubbed her hand over her huge belly. ‘I’m so sorry, little one. We all wanted better for you.’

He or she should have had happily married parents with a life mapped out. Not an unlovable mother and a playboy father who’d never wanted the responsibility of a baby, handing it over to those better suited to the parenting role. She’d let this child down before it had even been born. How the hell was she going to provide the upbringing it deserved? It wasn’t as though she had good role models to follow. She was going into this blind.

Another veil of tears fell, soaking the delicate silk scarf around her neck; Liam had bought it for her last birthday. Her brother had known she’d adore it because of the motif. The dragonfly was her personal totem and a powerful symbol of change and light in many cultures. In this case Liam said it represented the start of their new life and the rebirth of their family.

Now it was a reminder of everything she’d lost.

She slipped the scarf off her neck and draped it around the photograph of Liam and Tom on their wedding day. Happiness radiated from their smiles as they gazed at each other, so full of hope for their future together. Only to have it so cruelly snatched away from them a short time later.

‘I have as much right as you to be here.’ Jamie’s voice carried down the hall to interrupt her grief and cause her temper to flare again. His constant presence was preventing her from focusing on more important matters. Such as the prospect of becoming a single parent.

‘How did you get in?’ She watched helplessly as he stalked into the living room as though he owned the place.

He swung the house key around his finger on the hand-stitched felt key ring she’d made with Tom’s name on it as a moving-in present. ‘This is my house too, remember? You’re not the only one who lost a brother and it’s about time you stopped avoiding me. We have a lot to discuss.’

Their brothers had left everything to the two of them in their wills, making it impossible for Kayla to avoid him unless she sold up, and there was enough upheaval without having to move to a new house as well. It was a pity the wills hadn’t been updated since the surrogacy arrangement. Then they might have had some idea of what it was they were expected to do.

Jamie threw himself onto the settee and she worried he was ensconced for the night. There was no other choice for her but to join him. Although it took her slightly longer to ease herself and her bump into a chair.

‘I thought you’d made it abundantly clear from the start you didn’t want anything to do with this baby.’ She wished that were still the case. He had a choice where she didn’t. No matter what happened, she had to give birth and be a mother to this baby.

‘That was when I thought I was going to be nothing but a sperm donor to make my brother’s dream of being a father come true. I wanted Tom to be happy. No matter how unconventional, I wanted to see his dream of having a family come true. Now he’s gone this baby will need someone to look out for it.’

‘I’m looking out for it. I am the mother.’ He wasn’t the only one who’d done this with the intention of making the couple happy. This wasn’t the time to be searching for accolades. Jamie had provided his little swimmers because Tom’s hadn’t been doing the job they were supposed to, but she’d been the one who’d gone through the intrusive medically assisted insemination process.

It was she who’d carried the baby all this time. She was the one whose body would never be the same again.

‘In case you’ve forgotten, I’m the father.’

‘I haven’t forgotten. I’m giving you the opportunity to walk away. As you’d planned from the start.’ She didn’t want to parent on her own, but it was preferable to a lifetime of being tied to this man.

Kayla had moved to London with Liam nearly fifteen years ago to escape the control of their parents and she wasn’t going to tie herself to a man she hardly knew now. That hadn’t ended well the last time she’d been conned into it. She’d been left broken-hearted and homeless when she’d rebelled against Paul’s dominance in their relationship.

It wasn’t that long since she’d lost her brother. She was vulnerable, and she wasn’t going to let anyone take advantage of that.

Jamie stood up. He was imposing at his full height, which had to be a good foot taller than her five-foot-three-inch frame. Especially when he was dressed in his GP’s sharp suit and tie and she was in her ever-expanding maternity leggings and voluminous, stretch jersey, dark grey bump-coverer.

He strode towards her with such purpose her mouth suddenly went dry.

Then he leaned down and whispered, ‘Not going to happen.’

The ebb and flow of a shiver brought the tiny hairs on her arms to attention as his breath warmed her cheek. He gave her scant time to linger on her body’s reaction and walked away again towards the kitchen.

When she managed to compose herself enough to follow him she wished she hadn’t. Her sense of incredulity and temper rose further with every cupboard he opened, showing no respect for the fact this had been her home for the better part of a year. He might have inherited a share through tragic circumstances, but his lack of good manners and bold self-entitlement were not aiding their already strained relationship.

‘Don’t you have any proper food in this place?’ He was rummaging in the fridge, turning his nose up at the contents as he inspected them.

‘I only have proper food. It’s much healthier than that processed junk you probably favour.’ Liam and Tom had shared her healthy approach to food, but Jamie didn’t look as though he could be sustained by lettuce and carrots alone.

‘Give me a dirty, big burger any day,’ he grumbled, confirming the belief he was a man who enjoyed the red-meat-fuelled lifestyle of his caveman ancestors.

Although lean, Jamie was solid muscle and sinew. She could see that by the way his tailored shirt clung to his torso, and his thighs stretched the fabric of his tight-fitting black trousers. This was someone who needed protein to fuel his workout. He’d be more inclined towards swimming rather than being a gym bunny, she decided. Mainly because she could imagine him gliding through the water with those powerful limbs, showing off that streamlined body in nothing but a tight-fitting pair of swim trunks.

‘I said, we’re going to have to do a grocery shop or I’ll starve to death here.’

Kayla blinked away her glistening-wet, semi-naked fantasy to centre on the fully dressed version of Jamie, whose mouth was twitching as he tried not to laugh. It was then she realised she’d been staring, and it hadn’t gone unnoticed. She blamed the sudden heat consuming her body on the rise of her blood pressure at having an unwanted visitor going through her things. Not due to any thoughts of Tom’s big brother with his wet hair curling at the nape of his neck or water sluicing over his naked body.

‘You—you don’t live here. My cupboards are none of your business,’ she blustered, slamming shut all the doors he’d opened during his plundering.

‘Well, here’s the thing, Kayla. It was one thing being the biological father only and Tom taking responsibility for raising this child. Now he’s not here, the baton passes to me and I’m afraid I’m not going to sit back and let your hippy-dippy ways dictate my baby’s life.’ He folded his arms and rested his backside against her worktop as casual as he liked.

Meanwhile, she was sure she was about to combust into flames. His baby. Calling her hippy-dippy. He’d wiped out her credibility as a mother in one insult. She didn’t think being a vegetarian and using meditation as a form of stress relief justified anyone making fun of her. It was her way of taking back her life and being at peace with herself.

Kayla opened her mouth, then closed it again before she said something very unladylike. Once the moment passed she called upon her rational self to counter his ill-judged argument.

‘First of all—’ her voice was louder than she’d intended so she dialled it back before he accused her of being hysterical ‘—this baby is not a baton. It is a human being that has been growing inside me. Therefore, I think it’s safe to say you’re not going to let me do anything. I’m its mother.’

‘And I’m its father.’

The man was infuriating beyond words.

Count to ten, Kayla, and don’t even think about launching that frying pan at his head, even if it is within arm’s reach.

Jamie levered himself off the worktop and walked towards her. Kayla immediately backed away. She didn’t enjoy confrontation. Usually, she did her best to avoid it when raised voices and tempers brought back memories of a childhood best forgotten.

Unfortunately, Jamie brought out the worst in her and vice versa. In all the time she’d known Tom he’d never shown anything but adoration for his older brother. He’d talked about him in such glowing terms Kayla had expected him to be a saint. From her perspective he was purely an annoyance.

Especially when they both knew she’d been prepared to walk out of that coffee shop and engage in some sordid afternoon shenanigans if their brothers hadn’t turned up that day. She didn’t like him knowing he was a weakness where she was concerned in case he used it to get the upper hand.

‘Look, Kayla, I’m not here to fight with you. I just want to make sure you and the baby are healthy. This is the last link I have to Tom and the only family I have left.’ It was a heartfelt plea, but there was no way she was giving him room to start dictating to her. She’d had enough of that growing up.

‘So, what are you going to do? Draw up a contract and a diet plan according to what you deem a suitable lifestyle? We’re not in some weird relationship where I’m happy to submit to your dominant will. I’m not that kind of girl.’

‘Wow.’

‘What’s wrong? Have you never had a woman talk back to you before?’ With his looks and his status as a partner in his GP practice, no doubt he was used to people doing his bidding with no questions asked.

The rumble as he laughed did things to her insides she wasn’t prepared for. ‘No. It’s just interesting that’s where your mind went.’

‘Liam and Tom might have left you half of this house, but you have absolutely no claim on my body.’ Her mind chose to interpret those words differently than they were intended. Forbidden images of Jamie’s mouth and hands possessing her sprang from nowhere, causing chaos within.

This pregnancy brought more problems than heartburn and weight gain. Especially when these feelings were so rare she didn’t think she’d experienced them even with her exes. A problem that had ended all her relationships and made her consider this surrogacy in the first place.

Sex wasn’t something she’d been able to fully enjoy when she couldn’t find it in herself to give control of her body completely to someone else. The same could be said about love.

Now a few arrogant words from a man who had a knack for getting under her skin were already wreaking havoc on her insides again.

One thing was for sure, she had to find some way to get Jamie out of her life so she and the baby could live the life Tom and Liam would now never be a part of.

‘Technically, whilst you’re pregnant with my child, I do have an interest in your body.’ Jamie couldn’t help himself. There was more than a hint of truth in those words and not solely for the baby she was carrying.

Small and curvy even before she got pregnant, Kayla physically wasn’t his usual type. Her honey-blond hair fell in messy natural ringlets around her shoulders, as chaotic as her rolled-through-a-jumble-sale fashion sense. The layers of mismatched vintage clothes she favoured, most people would have consigned to the dustbin.

Personality wise there was a major clash between them, as this current exchange would attest to. She was hard work, a pain in the backside he could do without. Yet, since losing Tom and Liam, he hadn’t been able to keep away from her. He knew it was more than their shared grief but hoped his sudden interest in her would end once the baby was born. Anything else would have disaster written all over it. Her shudder of obvious disgust at his comment was proof of that.

‘My body is absolutely none of your business.’ She folded her arms across her blossoming cleavage and Jamie tried to avert his stare.

‘Ditto. So, I’ll thank you to stop looking at me as though I’m a piece of meat.’ By the way she’d been ogling him earlier he’d say her pregnancy hormones were running riot. It was a reminder of that day in the café when they’d come close to succumbing to temptation. Thank goodness they hadn’t, when things were complicated enough between them.

‘I was not!’ Her reddening cheeks gave her away.

‘Let’s get one thing straight here, Kayla.’ He flicked the kettle on and lifted a mug down from the cupboard. ‘My only interest is in the baby you’re carrying.’

‘Mine too.’ Composure regained, she walked right up to him. Close enough for him to drink in her floral scent. It was likely something she made herself from daisies and buttercups under the light of a full moon.

Kayla opened the cupboard above his head, lifted out a handmade, slightly wonky, blue-glazed earthenware mug and set it down on the counter.

‘I assume you have a birth plan in place? I don’t imagine the event is something either of our brothers would have left to chance.’ Even if Kayla seemed the sort of person to let nature take its course. There was a very bohemian quality to her. As though she’d be more at home in some hippy commune living off the earth and communing with nature than working nine-to-five and living in a suburban semi.

‘I’m having a natural birth. At home.’

He should have known.

‘Not happening.’

‘Excuse me? It was what your brother, Liam, and I wanted. You can’t just swan in here—’

‘And what? Want what’s best for my baby? Which is to be born in a hospital where the best medical care is at hand should anything go wrong?’

Kayla couldn’t believe what she was hearing. They had planned as peaceful a welcome into the world as they could provide. Now, Jamie was storming in demanding as much noise, disruption and upheaval that came with hospital births in comparison. No way was she having that. The days of letting anyone walk over her were long gone.

‘In case you’re not aware, I was a qualified midwife before I became a doula. I know the difference it can make to mum and baby when a birth is at home, surrounded by familiar faces, enveloped in love rather than machines and overworked staff. That’s why I changed careers.’

It had been difficult for her to adhere to the rules laid out by the hospital management when births didn’t run to their specific timetable or targets. She realised quickly after qualifying she’d much rather devote herself to one family at a time than be on a conveyor belt moving from one mother to the next without making any real personal connection.

‘Then you know there are potential risks with any pregnancy. Complications during a home birth can’t be dealt with as effectively as they could be at the hospital.’

‘I’m qualified to make those kinds of decisions that might warrant a hospital transfer.’ It didn’t happen often, but in emergencies she would encourage medical intervention where it was needed. The welfare of baby and mother were always top priority.

‘Tell me, are you planning on giving birth naked and alone in a field?’ There was that patronising tone she’d come to know well when involved in a heated discussion with another medical professional on the subject.

‘You might not agree with my methods but please don’t mock them.’

‘It’s hard not to,’ he muttered, reinforcing the idea that a calm, peaceful birth wasn’t going to be possible anywhere with him around.

‘What is so wrong in wanting to be in the comfort of my own home, listening to the music of my choice and letting nature take its course?’ There’d been too much upset already during this pregnancy and the least she could do now was give this baby a smooth transition from the warm cocoon of her body into its new environment.

‘It’s selfish,’ he answered without taking time to think about what it meant to anyone other than him.

‘No, it’s simply an alternative to a hospital birth. Women have been doing it for centuries. I think I’ll manage.’

‘What? You’re going to deliver the baby yourself? I’m sorry, but this is crazy. I’ve already lost my brother. I’m not prepared to jeopardise my baby for the sake of your whim to raise a flower-child. I don’t think the sixties were all they were cracked up to be, you know. There was a higher mortality rate back then, likely for this very reason.’

Breathe in. Breathe out. Don’t punch things.

Kayla hadn’t realised dinosaurs still roamed the earth masquerading as pretty doctors, but Jamie was living proof.

‘There are such things as friends. I know that concept might not be familiar to you if this is how you speak to everyone you meet. I have my own doula to assist with labour as well as a community midwife.’

‘Great. It’s reassuring to know there’ll be two of you howling at the moon and stinking the place out with incense.’

She didn’t know where he plucked these ideas about home births from. He was a GP, for heaven’s sake. She was sure he’d dealt with them in his time. This seemed more personal to her. As though he simply disapproved of her and her life choices when, really, he knew nothing about her.

All his talk so far surrounded his wishes for his baby, relegating her to the role of incubator who shouldn’t have any opinion of her own.

‘I really don’t care what you think, Jamie. This is my safe space. My body. My baby. My birth plan. You won’t be here anyway, so it won’t affect you.’ At this rate the baby would be cutting its first teeth by the time she told him it had arrived.

There was no way she was having him anywhere near her, stressing her out during the most important, and unexpected, phase of her life as she transitioned into motherhood. Given the chance he’d probably be shouting instructions like her old PE teacher, calling her a slacker and pushing her until she was sure her lungs would explode. That wasn’t the atmosphere she was striving for on this occasion.

‘Who says I won’t be here?’

‘This is my first baby and I’ve still got a few weeks until my due date. The chances are slim you’ll be in the vicinity when I go into labour.’ She certainly wasn’t going to tell him.

Jamie Garrett hovering over her every decision was the last thing on her wish list. It was the worst possible scenario after losing the men she’d thought were raising this child.

‘I’m going to increase those odds.’

‘How?’ She was compelled to ask, though she did so with a sigh. He was exhausting and as soon as she got shot of him she’d do a bit of meditation to clear her chakras from the negativity he left in his wake. She might even listen to the CD of whale music the boys had given her as a joke present. It would be her way of sticking two fingers up at the biological father-to-be who’d be horrified at the very idea.

‘I’m moving in.’ The self-satisfied smirk strengthened the impact of the bombshell.

She’d been wrong. This was the worst possible scenario and she was powerless to do anything about it.