Читать книгу A Kiss To Change Her Life - Karin Baine, Karin Baine - Страница 9

ROB SWITCHED ON the air conditioning in his car in an attempt to cool the after-effects of his early-morning workout and hot shower. He reckoned the gym was missing a trick with their opening times. A twenty-four-hour haven for members whose shift patterns and insomnia left them with too much time on their hands would make a fortune.

He’d stayed at the hospital until after Max’s surgery, making sure there was a friendly face by his side when he came round from the anaesthetic. Even though he’d been exhausted by the time he’d returned home and fallen into bed, the tiredness hadn’t overridden the all too familiar nightmares. Rob might not have been at the scene of the accident but it didn’t stop him imagining their terror, hearing them call for him before the sickening crunch of the impact.

Sometimes he would even wake from his fitful sleep thinking he could hear Mollie crying from the room next door, a sound which always pulled on his heart-strings like a harp. He’d be out of bed and on his way to tuck her in before he realised his mind had played a cruel trick on him. Thanks to his own stubbornness and a dumb kid in a stolen car, he’d never have a chance to comfort his daughter again.

The first rays of the dawn light often came as a blessing, heralding the start of a new working day where he had plenty to keep his thoughts busy. It was the downtime, such as sitting in this logjam of cars, which let his mind wander towards those things beyond his control.

As he edged forward in the morning traffic, he spotted a familiar figure by the side of the road. Jessica, with her slinky grey silk dress hitched up to her thighs, was running after a bus, barefoot. Rob slowed the car to watch the spectacle. Sure enough, there she was with those ludicrous heels in her hand for a second time. Silver ones today. He wouldn’t be surprised if she had matching shoes for every outfit in her, no doubt, vast wardrobe.

He wound down the window as he tailed her. ‘You should really invest in a pair of flats.’

She slowed to a casual walk although her face was flushed from her exertions and he’d already heard her swear as the bus pulled away. Jessica leaned through the open window and the auburn waves of her hair tumbled over her shoulders. ‘Are you going to sit there sneering all day, or be a gentleman and offer me a lift?’

He opened the door and turned off his MP3 player so he didn’t lose the upper hand here by revealing his love of cheesy pop music. Even though she was the last person he wanted to spend time with, he could hardly leave her stranded when they were going to the same place. Next time he might be inclined to pretend he didn’t see her and save himself from suffocating in her spicy perfume.

‘I didn’t have you down as the type to use public transport,’ he remarked.

The expensive clothes and the matching pearly-pink mani-pedi she was sporting weren’t in keeping with the thick exhaust fumes belching out from the bus in front. No, she’d be more at home in a sports car with the top down, cruising the streets of Monaco or somewhere equally fabulous.

‘I never did get around to taking driving lessons. Besides, the buses run regularly into the city centre from here and I don’t have to worry about finding a parking space. It’s my fault I’m late. I slept in this morning.’ Jessica leaned one hand on his leg to balance herself as she bent down to slip on her shoes. It was such an innocent, yet intimate, act but it burned his skin where she touched him. The rush of blood in his ears drowned out the majority of her chatter—something about missing breakfast—as she squeezed his thigh.

He hadn’t expected to react so … primitively … to being in close quarters with a woman he’d barely spoken to until twenty-four hours ago. It wasn’t as if he’d been a monk all of this time, where one touch from a woman could send him into raptures. He’d had a few flings but he lived by three rules—no one from work, no more than one night and keep things strictly physical. His partners knew the score from the start, so he could walk away without any emotional complications. No one would ever get close enough where he’d have to battle his conscience over replacing Leah in his life.

Jessica was attractive, successful and apparently incredibly tactile. What wasn’t to like? Unless you only engaged in overnight shenanigans and the lady in question was at your place of work for the next four weeks. In other circumstances he might have acted differently, encouraged further exploration of his person, but this would only be asking for trouble. He shuffled in his seat as his body seemed to outgrow his trousers and he was glad when she removed her hand before things became uncomfortable for both of them.

‘I … er … thought you might like to know Max’s surgery was a success. The surgeon managed to remove all traces of the tumour.’ He switched back to the topic guaranteed to draw out her ruthless side and remind him she was a no-go area.

‘I already know, but thanks.’

‘Oh, I wasn’t aware you were still filming him?’ He hadn’t seen any cameras down near the operating theatre and it wasn’t the sort of information the staff would’ve given her over the phone.

‘We weren’t. I got a text from his mum, Maggie, last night. I keep in touch with most of the parents to see how the kids are doing. Not everyone thinks I’m the devil incarnate.’ She was trying to get a rise out of him but she’d managed that with one snippet of information.

He couldn’t believe she was close enough to the families that they included her in their circle of trust. If what she was saying was true, that information on the children’s health wasn’t even gleaned for the benefit of the show. He would have to rethink what he thought he knew about her. His jaded perception of anyone in the media world had meant that he’d thought it impossible for her to be genuinely invested in these kids. To find out otherwise meant he might have to actually start being nice to her. At work.

‘Well, I’m pleased you have such a personal interest in the families but I hope you understand we still can’t have you breezing in and out as you please. We’re not going to hold back treatment to fit in around your schedule.’ The deliberately harsh words were an attempt to establish boundaries in a situation where he was scrabbling for an ounce of control. She was a member of staff by proxy and privileged to have been given access to the ward, after all.

‘I assure you I’m deadly serious about this job. My timekeeping is usually impeccable. Unfortunately, I didn’t sleep very well last night and didn’t hear the alarm go off this morning. I’m sure even you’ve overslept on occasion but you have my word it won’t happen again.’ Jessica stiffened in the passenger seat, her hands resting very properly in her lap as she rose above his accusation of complacency.

‘Good.’ Rob jammed the car into fifth gear as they got a free run onto the motorway.

‘Fine.’

An uneasy silence filled the interior of the car as they retreated back to their corners. Rob might have successfully asserted his authority over the crew’s presence in the department, but he’d also ploughed up any groundwork they’d laid for a semi-harmonious working relationship. All because he couldn’t handle being this close to another woman without freaking out about it.

‘Isn’t there someone else who could give you a nudge in the mornings, or give you a lift into work?’ He didn’t know why he was pushing for more information about her home life. Whether she had a partner or still lived at home with her parents was of no consequence to him. Perhaps he was simply hoping there was someone else in her life to take responsibility for getting her to work on time so he didn’t have to.

‘I’m single and rediscovering the joys of independence. How about you?’ There spoke the voice of a bitter break-upee. Someone who probably wasn’t in a hurry to jump back into a relationship of any sort. Not that her love life was of any consequence to him.

He had no desire to get involved in the details of her split, nor did he want to get caught up in an exchange of personal information with a virtual stranger. After a moment he decided to go with ‘Unhappily single’ to describe his current status. He wasn’t alone by choice, and he wasn’t too fond of the other label usually bestowed on him, since it portrayed him as some sort of tragic case.

‘What, no Mrs Campbell to see you off to work in the morning with a kiss and some freshly cut sandwiches?’ The sneer in Jessica’s voice declared her judgement on the sort of woman she imagined married to him. How little she knew. Leah’s free-spirited nature hadn’t been dampened simply because she’d become a wife and mother. If anything, Rob had been the one in the relationship more suited to domesticity. Not that he would admit that to a woman who’d already challenged his authority and coerced him into making concessions for her benefit. A woman not unlike the one he’d lost.

‘Not any more.’ He tightened his grip on the steering wheel, trying to strangle the emotions bubbling up inside him, and put his foot down on the accelerator to get to the hospital as soon as possible. Post shift was the time for wallowing in his grief, certainly not before. It wouldn’t do to cross his personal life with his professional one or he’d end up a complete blubbering mess every time a family reminded him of his. And what purpose would he have in life if he couldn’t even do his job properly?

‘Did she forget to cut your crusts off once too often?’ The throwaway remark came with a snort but the subject was too raw for Rob to find any amusement.

‘She died.’ He didn’t have to turn his head to know he’d left Jessica open-mouthed; those words always had the same effect when he was forced to say them.

Usually he resisted telling people about his personal circumstances for as long as he could. This time, instead of reliving the horror by bringing it up, he found some relief in sharing his secret. It was somehow less painful than he’d imagined. In that brief moment he’d been able to actually be himself and stop pretending he was a man who had it all. As if he’d exhaled the toxins of the past in one deep, cleansing breath.

It was something he should’ve confided a long time ago. He knew Maria and plenty of others were curious about his wedding ring and lack of wife but he’d never been drawn to spill the details. It would only have led to more questions he wasn’t prepared to answer.

There was something he recognised of himself in Jessica. Something about her which put him at ease in her company. Something dangerous.

‘I’m sorry.’ Jessica mentally facepalmed as she suffered a bout of foot-in-mouth disease. She would never have made such crass comments if she’d known he was a widower. In truth, she’d only said those things to remind herself that he was out of bounds. Her libido had pinged back to full strength when she’d felt those strong muscular thighs beneath her fingers. Now here she was having hot flashes which were more to do with lusting over a grieving man than her hormones. Mother Nature’s timing was as atrocious as ever.

‘Thanks.’ Rob kept his eyes firmly on the road, leaving Jessica unable to read him. His locked-out arms and firmly set jaw told her she probably wasn’t meant to, but it would be remiss of her not to probe further when he’d volunteered that first revealing nugget.

‘Was your wife Scottish too, or local?’ It was a question Jessica deemed not too intrusive but designed to give her an idea of the timeline involved here. He was still wearing his wedding ring after all. Rob had been at the hospital for a few years, so if he’d met his other half after he’d started his post here it could have been a recent passing. Even Jessica wouldn’t put a newly bereaved doctor in front of the camera if he still had issues to work through. She made a note to quiz Maria Dean, the senior nurse on staff, who, unlike Rob, always seemed happy to talk.

‘Leah was from Edinburgh, same as me.’ The muscle in Rob’s jaw twitched and Jessica could almost hear his teeth grinding together.

A name. An indication that he’d probably come to Northern Ireland after her death. Progress.

‘Do you mind me asking—’

‘Can we drop this, please?’ This time he did look at her, shooting blue laser beams at her and leaving her under no illusion that the subject was a no-go zone for the foreseeable future. Apparently he did mind, cutting her off before she could enquire about what had happened to Leah.

‘Sure. Sorry.’ She was. Sorry she’d got him offside again, sorry he’d lost his wife and, most of all, sorry she’d brought it all back to him.

They spent the rest of the car journey to work in silence, Rob clearly lost in his memories and Jessica unwilling to say anything more in case she upset him further. If circumstances were reversed, she wouldn’t appreciate anyone prying into her past to open old wounds either. Although her ex was still very much alive, it didn’t make reminders of him any less painful. Each time Adam came to mind, he brought thoughts of her own failings with him.

Perhaps Rob was going through something similar, taking the blame for events most probably beyond his control. She’d only recently begun working free of that guilt trap herself. That was why this job meant so much to her. Although she’d ultimately flunked the wife exam, she could still be a success in other areas of her life. It had taken a long time for her to come to terms with that.

It was possible she’d found a kindred spirit who’d also channelled all of his energy into his career rather than risk the heartache of another relationship. The thought comforted her even though the renewed awkwardness between them was palpable, since Rob didn’t seem inclined to even switch the radio on. Jessica didn’t dare defy him any further by doing it herself.

The heavy atmosphere in the car only began to lift when the familiar glass building came into sight. Most likely he was as eager to get to work as she was and check his personal baggage at the hospital door. There was nothing like deadlines and adrenaline to clear the head first thing in the morning.

Jessica unclipped her seat belt and reached for the door handle. ‘Thanks for the lift. I’ll jump out here.’

While Rob waited for the barrier to open at the entrance to the staff car park, Jessica made a swift exit from the vehicle to give him some time out. Maybe if he had some space from her for a few minutes he could forget she’d done the one thing she’d promised not to do. Privacy was his keyword and she’d tried to swerve his to satisfy her own agenda. Since he was the lead here it was going to take an extra effort to convince him she wasn’t Satan’s daughter recording peoples’ suffering for kicks. He was the first man since Adam whom she wanted to know there was a soft heart beneath her crisp, ruthless producer shell.

‘Did I see you arrive with Jessica this morning?’ Maria interrupted Rob’s thoughts as he flicked through his schedule for the day.

‘My good deed for the day. Don’t read anything into it.’ He warned her off before she started her matchmaking mischief again. Ever since coming here he’d had to endure her futile attempts to see him settled down again.

He was sure Maria meant well but he needed a break from awkward dinner dates and disappointment. He didn’t want to forget. Grief, Leah and Mollie were all part of him. He didn’t want to move on and pretend that the best and worst things in his life had never happened. His wife and daughter deserved to be remembered and he deserved to live with the guilt of what had happened for the rest of his life.

Luckily for Maria, he could never get cross with her when she’d been his lifeline in a sea of despair. They’d immediately bonded over their shared devotion to their patients when he’d first started here. He hadn’t told her, or any of his colleagues, about the accident even though it was clear he was on his own. He didn’t want anyone to see him as anything other than a leader of his field. It was in everyone’s best interests that he remained the strong stalwart during the hardships they faced here and not simply another grieving parent. Although it didn’t stop her from setting him up with the nearest available spinster at every given opportunity.

‘Why not? She’s young, single, attractive …’

And definitely not the settling-down type. The ideal woman for a no-emotions-required fling if they were both looking for one. There was just something about Jessica Halliday that set Rob’s Spidey senses on high alert.

‘I don’t dispute the facts but you forgot to mention nosy and incredibly frustrating.’ He’d known her only five minutes and she’d already unearthed more about his personal life than most of his colleagues were privy to. He wasn’t in a hurry to share any more.

‘Ah, she’s got under your skin already.’ Maria nodded with a knowing Rob-baiting smile.

‘Not at all.’ She was most definitely under his skin, to the point of irritation, but he didn’t want Maria encouraging Jessica’s interest, or vice versa. The last thing he needed was another concerned female hell-bent on getting him to dig deep into his emotion bank. That sucker was closed tight, hermetically sealed, weighted down and buried at the bottom of the River Lagan.

‘I had several meetings with her in the lead-up to filming. She’s no wallflower, that’s for sure. Definitely not afraid to voice her opinion or ask difficult questions. Is that what you’re afraid of?’ Maria cocked an eyebrow at him. She knew him too well.

‘I’m not averse to a strong-minded woman, as you very well know.’ He gave her a flirty wink and hoped it was enough to end the conversation.

Instead, Maria rested her hand gently on top of Rob’s in that sympathetic way that always made him want to push her away. He’d moved to Belfast to escape the pity party, not find himself as the guest of honour at another one. ‘Don’t give up on love. The right person is out there for you somewhere.’

Every time Rob heard those words he imagined a saxophone and some electric guitar playing him his very own power ballad. All he needed was a fog machine and a mullet and he’d be the epitome of eighties angst. He’d had the right person and she was gone. Nothing could change that.

Lucky for him he was in a busy hospital ward and not the dingy bedroom of his teenage self, so there was nowhere for him to sit and wail over the girl he’d lost.

Jessica’s head was pounding and her stomach begging for something more substantial than the two headache tablets she’d consumed. She’d missed breakfast this morning and ended up skipping lunch in favour of a particularly fraught meeting with the director over content. He wanted more footage of Rob outside of his hospital role so that viewers were able to relate to him on a personal level as well as a professional one. That was akin to asking her to produce footage of the Loch Ness monster.

On top of that, she wasn’t relishing the turn today’s filming was about to take. It was going to be a tough one for all involved. She’d spoken to the family concerned to ensure they were ready to tell their daughter Lauren’s story on camera and she was aware there would be no happy ending to this tale. Unfortunately, palliative care was part of cancer and it didn’t discriminate against age. The treatment might help to make the patient more comfortable in the short-term but it wouldn’t cure the illness.

Jessica didn’t have to have children of her own to understand how incredibly distressing this would be. The professional producer in her agreed with the director that they had to include light and shade if they were going to chart the reality of the department. Her heart, however, wanted her to avoid any further reminder of cancer’s destructive nature. This was a child, a baby, who’d been denied a second chance at life. In the end, it was the family who’d made the final decision to go ahead. They were keen to highlight Lauren’s condition in the hope that a cure would be found some day. Jessica would simply have to try to remain emotionally detached from the subject. Easier said than done.

She massaged her temples as that heavy pressure seemed to bore down further inside her skull. The smell of coffee and cake hit her as she walked through the entrance hall on her way to meet the camera crew and she saw a few of the parents had set up a stall in the main foyer selling tray bakes and goodies to add to the scanner coffers. There were several tables and chairs dotted around for visitors and staff to take a timeout along with their treats.

Rob was there, talking and laughing with the mums with a box full of home-baked goodies in his hands. He really went above and beyond the call of duty for his patients and their families. The TV business wasn’t exactly a breeding ground for that kind of altruism and Jessica found it refreshing. It was a pity she’d been such a cow to him this morning by prying into his private life. He was a nice guy and it had been a long time since she’d met one of those.

She started towards the stall to offer an apology and try to make amends but her legs wobbled beneath her. A heaviness settled over her entire body and she was helpless as she felt herself falling. Rob rushing towards her was the last thing she saw before darkness claimed her.

‘Jessica?’

Lost in the swirling fog, Jessica could hear someone in the distance calling her name.

‘Jessica?’

She wasn’t ready to leave her peaceful slumber and cuddled further into the warmth surrounding her.

‘Can you open your eyes for me, sweetheart?’

Jessica frowned. ‘Go away.’

‘I will as soon as we get you back on your feet.’

‘What?’ In her fugue state she swore she could hear Rob whispering in her ear to bring her body back to life.

‘You fainted.’

Her eyes slowly fluttered open to find her dream date only a breath away. She didn’t know what she was doing in his arms but she kind of liked it. His hard chest was pressed tight against her, his large hands splayed across her back so she was cocooned in his spicy musk and muscles.

‘Can you stand on your own?’

Jessica blinked again and tried to focus. It soon became clear that their passionate embrace was more of a clumsy tango as Rob fought to keep her dropping to the floor like a sack of spuds.

‘I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened.’ She pushed against him to free herself from his hold and the embarrassing scene she’d created. The feel of his rounded biceps under her fingertips did nothing to help her equilibrium.

‘Let’s get you into a seat.’ He lessened his grip but stayed with her until he’d deposited her into a chair at the makeshift café.

‘I’m fine,’ she insisted even though her head was still spinning. She hated showing any weakness, especially if it meant relying on a man to rescue her. Until now she’d been standing on her own two feet for some considerable time.

‘I want you to put your head between your legs and take some deep breaths.’

She only complied since he was the doctor and she was apparently having difficulty staying conscious.

Rob rubbed her back as she inhaled. ‘Do you feel dizzy?’

‘A bit.’ Another big breath in and his hand rose and fell with her.

‘When was the last time you had something to eat? I know you missed breakfast and I doubt you’ve sat still long enough for a proper lunch break, have you?’

‘Um … I had a cup of coffee this morning and some headache tablets. I’ve been busy with other things …’

‘That explains it. You can’t survive on a diet of coffee and adrenaline, you know. I understand your need to direct all of your energy into your work but it’s important to stop and refuel every now and then.’

‘Yes, Doctor.’

‘You need something to raise your blood sugar and you definitely need to give yourself a break from these.’ He crouched down in front of her and cradled her foot in his hands as the Cinderella scene played out in reverse.

Thanks to his open top button, Jessica had a nice view down the front of Rob’s shirt. The smooth swarthy skin beneath contrasting against his crisp white shirt was not the usual skin tone of a fair-skinned native. Her feverish mind began to conjure up images of her handsome prince soaking up the rays in a lot less than a tailored shirt and formal black trousers.

She didn’t do romance but she imagined it probably looked a lot like a burly doctor on his knees gently removing a girl’s stilettos. He sat back on his haunches to face her again and reached up to brush the curls from her face. Her whole body tensed as if she was waiting for that one magical kiss that followed the princess’s rescue at the end of every fairy tale.

One of the stallholders interrupted the tender moment to hand Prince Charming a glass of water, her eyes darting between Jessica and Rob as she clearly jumped to conclusions.

He thanked her and proceeded to tangle his free hand in Jessica’s hair again.

‘What are you doing?’ She sprang back in her chair, now fully conscious and aware they weren’t alone in the busy thoroughfare. Goodness knew what people were making of this whole episode but it probably wasn’t anything which would improve her credibility here.

‘You have cream in your hair.’ Rob plucked at another strand to produce chocolatey proof that he wasn’t randomly stroking her hair.

‘Oh. Why?’ This day was getting better and better.

‘You squashed my buns,’ he said with a grin and nodded towards the spot where she’d made her dramatic entrance.

Now cordoned off with safety cones, the area resembled something of a crime scene as efficient cleaners swept away the aftermath of an apparent cake massacre. The broken remains of cupcakes and caramel squares lay in a pool of cream and sprinkles on the floor.

‘I can’t believe you sacrificed cake for me. The actions of a true hero.’ She clutched her hands to her chest in exaggerated appreciation, attempting to deflect attention away from the effect his touch had had on her. The hairs on her arms were still standing on end where he’d made physical contact. Obviously, in all the confusion her body had mistaken him for a potential mate. Her mind was having a harder time dealing with the idea when he represented everything that made her feel weak.

Sitting here, helpless and dependent on his instruction, took her back to a time when every decision about how she lived her life was taken out of her hands by doctors. Rationally, she knew it had all been in her best interests but she’d spent too long fighting for independence to relinquish it so easily now. Even to a doctor who could easily have made it as Mr June in the Hunks calendar currently hanging on her apartment wall.

‘What else is a man to do when a beautiful woman swoons at his feet?’ Rob moved to a standing position so Jessica was forced to strain her neck looking up at him. She ignored the tiny voice in her head squealing at the inadvertent compliment he’d paid her since the conversation between them had turned jovial.

Given their run-ins to date, Jessica doubted she was his type in any shape or form. Rob Campbell was destined to be part of a couple; her fate lay in a completely different direction. There was no point in even thinking there was any kind of entanglement on the cards. So she should really stop wondering if he had any hidden tan lines.

‘I hate to burst your bubble but, as you said, it was probably from lack of food rather than a reaction to your good looks.’ Jessica couldn’t believe she’d actually fainted. She supposed she was burning off more calories than usual with all this toing and froing. In future, she’d keep a few snacks to hand to fend off further embarrassment.

‘I can offer you some sweet tea and a cupcake for now but I’d advise you to eat a proper lunch as soon as you can.’ He left her and took his place in the queue to purchase her temporary cure.

He wanted the best for everyone he treated, her included. At least this mishap had softened his attitude towards her. Even if it had come at the price of her dignity. Rob was sympathetic, passionate, dedicated … everything a woman would want in a long-term partner. It was just as well Jessica didn’t want one or she would be in real danger of falling for him.