Читать книгу Come Away with Me - Karma Brown, Karma Brown - Страница 24

15

An hour later I share a tearful goodbye with Anna, complete with a bag of my favorite treat, caramel cheese popcorn, from Garrett Popcorn. The first, and only, time I convinced her to try the sweet and cheesy concoction she gagged so hard she vomited on the sidewalk outside the shop, which only proves how much she loves me. She also gives me a book for the plane she promises won’t make me cry, with an inscription of one of her grandmother’s famous proverbs on the inside cover—a book is like a garden carried in the pocket—which neither of us really get but pretend to be inspired by. After she’s gone, I change into my travel clothes of black yoga pants, a hoodie and tennis shoes, and sit on the couch. The airport limousine should be arriving in fifteen minutes, and my stomach feels sour. Maybe from the popcorn. Probably from everything else.

“What’s up, buttercup?” Gabe asks when I let out a deep sigh, scanning the tickets in front of me. The destinations are in the order we pulled them out of the jar.

“Is this a mistake? I’m not sure about the order.” I frown, flipping through the three itineraries. My fingertips leave faint neon-orange popcorn dust smudges on the papers.

“The order’s fine. You’re just nervous.”

“Of course I’m nervous,” I say, frustrated to have to admit it. “This feels fast. I don’t know if I’m ready.” I hold my fingers against the pendant, and it presses into my bony sternum. “I don’t know if this is going to work. I don’t know if—” My voice breaks as a sob catches in my throat. I take a deep breath before going on. “This is going to sound crazy, but maybe I don’t want to get over it.” I’m relieved to finally say it out loud. “Do I really want to feel better? To move on? Because...because...” I stop, gasping against my sorrow.

“Because you’re afraid you’ll forget?” Gabe’s voice is soft, understanding.

I nod, sucking in air. “What if I forget how much I loved...how much I love—”

“You won’t,” Gabe says, interrupting me. Determination floods his voice. “I won’t let you.”

I breathe out through pursed lips and focus on his words. “Thank you.” I rest my head back against the cushioned couch and close my eyes. “I love you, Gabe.”

It’s the first time in four months I’ve said those words.