Читать книгу The Cowboy's Little Girl - Kat Brookes - Страница 14
ОглавлениеAutumn, cup of freshly brewed coffee in hand, moved to stand at the edge of the porch, her gaze skimming over the vast land around her. She loved all the warm colors that came with the fall season. The brilliant golds and vibrant reds with bold splashes of burgundy. The same colorful palette that now dotted the towering trees that surrounded Tucker Wade’s ranch and filled the distant hills. Earthy shades of green and brown carpeted the ground below, making the colors in the trees above stand out even more.
Closing her eyes, she breathed in the cool, crisp air that filled the mornings at that time of year. Much to her surprise, a feeling of peacefulness settled over her as she stood in the faint chill of the early morning, listening to the faint sounds of nature stirring to life around her. It was a peacefulness she hadn’t known for a very long while.
The unexpected calm that filled her at that moment took Autumn by surprise. Especially when one considered her reason for being there. Maybe it was a sign from God that everything was going to be all right. She’d certainly prayed hard enough. And there was no doubt in her mind that Blue was better off with her than with a man whose entire life centered around horses, whether it was riding them or getting them rodeo ready. Tucker Wade would have a very hard time convincing her otherwise.
Then again, what if this was the Lord’s way of telling her that Bent Creek was the right place for her niece? That Blue would find contentment in this vast, horse-filled land hours from the only home she’d ever known.
No, Autumn thought in a panic, the right place for Blue is back in Cheyenne with the one person who loves her more than anyone else ever could. She had to believe that. Surely, the Lord knew that, as well. He’d seen the sacrifices Autumn had made for those she loved. For Blue.
That precious child filled her heart to overflowing. She didn’t need a husband or even children of her own to make her happy. Not as long as she had Blue.
Not as long as she had Blue.
No sooner had that thought gone through her mind than the feeling of serenity that had come over her only moments before began to slip. In its place, the very real fear of losing her cherished little Blue Belle. A fear she’d been struggling with ever since Summer let loose the secrets she’d been keeping for so long. Secrets Autumn found herself wishing her sister would have taken with her to the grave.
Guilt filled her instantly at even harboring such a thought. Blue deserved to know her daddy, just as Tucker Wade deserved to know his little girl. They had both been denied the opportunity for far too long. Autumn couldn’t let her own selfish needs and wants stop her from doing what was right. Doing what the Lord would want her to do.
“Morning.”
Autumn jumped, her eyes flying open at the deep, baritone sound. Hot coffee sloshed over the rim of the cup she held clutched in her hand, causing her to wince.
Tucker Wade was there in an instant, standing on the other side of the porch’s railing as he reached out to ease the cup from her stinging hand. “I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said apologetically as he set the coffee cup onto the railing a safe distance away. Then he pulled a red-and-white-print handkerchief from the back pocket of his jeans and handed it to her, asking worriedly, “You okay?”
She took the offered square of colorful cotton and dabbed at her hand. “I’m fine,” she said with a halfhearted smile.
His gaze dropped to the red spots on her hand, and his frown deepened. “You need to run that hand under some cold water.” Without waiting for a reply, he turned and made his way around to the side of the house, returning a moment later with a garden hose in hand. The water was coming out in a slow, gentle trickle. “Hold out that hand,” he said.
“I really don’t...” she began to protest, then seeing the determination on the cowboy’s face had her saving her breath. Holding her hand out over the railing, she watched as Tucker Wade ran the cool water over the reddened patches of skin the spilled coffee had left behind.
“Better?” he asked, glancing up at her with a warm smile.
But the smile wasn’t what drew and held her attention. It was his eyes. Slightly more brilliant than Blue’s, she decided. A vivid shade of bright green. Like the heart-shaped leaves found on lemon clover. And those thick lashes...
“Autumn?”
She snapped out of her thoughts, her cheeks warming at having been so distracted by this man. So what if Tucker Wade had striking eyes and a kind smile? A handsome face had nothing to do with the man’s ability to care for his daughter. She gave a quick nod. “Yes. Thank you.”
“Glad to help.” His smile widened into a teasing grin as he worked to shut off the hose’s nozzle. “Maybe I should have suggested you help yourself to the orange juice in the fridge instead.”
Her gaze touched briefly on the coffee cup atop the porch railing and then back to Tucker Wade. “I didn’t sleep very well last night, so waking up to the aroma of freshly brewed coffee was a most welcomed thing.” Not only had Tucker insisted she and Blue spend the night there instead of driving into town, he’d set the timer on his coffee maker so it would be ready for her when she awoke.
“That makes two of us,” he admitted with a sigh.
“You should have slept in the house last night,” she said with a frown.
“It had nothing to do with that,” he assured her. “We cowboys are used to camping outdoors, so a cot in a barn isn’t so bad. I just had a lot on my mind.”
“Understandable.” She glanced toward the sun that was slowly rising up from the distant horizon and then back to him. “At least Blue slept well last night,” she said. “Not a single nightmare.”
“You expected her to have bad dreams here?”
“I didn’t know,” she said honestly. “They happen on occasion. Ever since her momma died.”
“Maybe the distraction of being in a new place will help to ease her nightmares.”
“I pray it does.” She glanced toward the rising sun and then back to Tucker. “So are you always up this early?”
“Earlier, usually,” he replied. “I’m a bit off my game today.”
She nodded in understanding. “The coffee’s still hot if you’d like a cup,” she offered. Despite his reassurances, she knew he couldn’t have been very comfortable doing so with the nights getting so cold, but she appreciated his willingness.
“Coffee sounds good,” he replied.
“Blue should be getting up soon. She’s an early riser, but I expect her to be up even earlier this morning, considering this is her first breakfast with her daddy.”
He glanced toward the front door, his expression one of nervous apprehension.
Autumn laughed softly. “It’s not as if you’re about to face a den of lions as Daniel once had to. Blue’s a very sweet, loving little girl.”
His gaze shifted back to her. “My little girl,” he said as if in awe of the words that he’d just spoken, his voice choked with emotion. “And I don’t have the slightest idea where to begin.”
That admission couldn’t be easy for a man like Tucker Wade. Cowboys were a proud lot. She should have been encouraged by his honesty, a sign that maybe he wasn’t mentally prepared to raise a child. But she found herself offering him a reassuring smile. “I’d start with a ‘good morning’ once she wakes up and then prepare to answer a lot of questions. Everything from ‘Are clouds made up of cotton balls?’ to ‘Why can’t chickens fly?’”
Tucker chuckled.
“Laugh now,” she warned playfully. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you once the questions begin. Your daughter can be very inquisitive.”
“Duly noted.”
“You cook?” she asked in surprise.
The corners of his mouth lifted, revealing a lone dimple. The same dimple her niece displayed with every smile. “A man’s gotta eat.” That said, he started off around the house, dragging the garden hose behind him. “Plain to see where Blue got her ‘inquisitiveness’ from,” he called back over a broad shoulder before disappearing from sight.
The moment Autumn realized she was still smiling, she forced her mouth into a tight line. She would not, could not, like Tucker Wade. He was the enemy. The one person who could take away the only family she had left. Not waiting for Tucker, she grabbed for her cup of coffee and marched determinedly back into the house.
* * *
Hearing the front door to his ranch house close, Tucker took a moment to calm his racing thoughts. There were times as he’d stood talking to Autumn that he found himself thinking of Summer. How could he not? Autumn was the spitting image of his wife, except for having shorter hair and more of a businesslike style of dress. And she was every bit as pretty. Not at all surprising, considering they were identical twins. Yet, Autumn seemed different. Where his wife had always lived her life being her true self, her sister seemed more reserved; guarded, almost. Not that the situation they found themselves in didn’t give her reason to be, but Tucker found himself wondering what she would be like with all those protective layers peeled away.
When Autumn had let down her guard for those brief moments that morning, allowing her more playful side to come out, she reminded him even more of her sister. But she wasn’t Summer, the woman who had run out on him, taking with her a very huge part of him—his daughter.
His daughter. A lump formed in Tucker’s throat, causing him to swallow hard. He was somebody’s daddy. Blue’s daddy. She was the most precious responsibility he’d ever been given. He knew nothing about raising children. She knew nothing about him. It felt as if he were going down a steep set of stairs in the dark with no handrail to hold on to. He didn’t want to fall. Didn’t want to fail. Not when God had chosen him to bestow this incredible blessing on.
Blue Belle Wade. Wait until his family found out about her. They’d be as shocked as he’d been. Even more so, seeing as how they had no idea he’d ever been married. So many things he would have done differently if given the chance. But there was no going back in life, only forward. And with that in mind, he intended to make it up to Blue for being absent from her life for so long, even if that absence hadn’t been his choice.
Taking a deep breath, Tucker headed inside, closing the front door quietly behind him as he made his way to the kitchen. The coffee mug Autumn had been using sat on the kitchen table, but she was nowhere in sight. Crossing the kitchen, he grabbed himself a mug and filled it with coffee. Then he busied himself with starting breakfast for his guests.
Tucker caught himself, mentally changing that to for his daughter and her aunt. His daughter was not a guest. She was family. His family. That thought had him whistling a happy tune as he moved about the kitchen.
“Care to tell us what’s going on with you today?”
Speaking of family. Tucker turned to find Jackson and Garrett standing just inside the kitchen entryway, worried frowns on their faces. They’d clearly come before finishing up that morning’s tasks.
“Everything okay with the horses?” he asked, worried that something might have happened with one. His brothers looked so serious.
“They’re fine,” Jackson replied. “It’s you we’re concerned about. You never call off when there’s work to be done.”
He’d spent a long, restless night, caught up in thoughts of his little girl. He’d also spent a good bit of time praying for the Lord to give him the strength to find it in himself to forgive Summer as Autumn had, because at that moment the depth of her betrayal was still too fresh to get past the simmering resentment he felt inside.
“Judging by the happy little tune you were whistling when we came in,” Garrett said, “I’m guessing you’re not under the weather.”
“No,” Tucker replied, feeling guilty for causing his brothers unnecessary worry. He hadn’t made mention of Blue when he’d called to let them know he wouldn’t be meeting up with them at the main barn that morning, because that was the kind of news he preferred to give them in person. “I’m not under the weather.”
His oldest brother’s frown deepened. “That being the case, care to let us in on what’s really going on with you, then?”
Where did he begin? Tucker sent a quick prayer heavenward for some guidance from the Lord in the best way to handle this situation. One that affected him as well as his family. “I—”
“You’re really tall,” a tiny voice stated, cutting into Tucker’s response.
His gaze shot between his brothers to see Blue standing there in the living room, looking up at Garrett and Jackson with youthful curiosity. She was wearing a long flannel nightgown covered in bright pink butterflies. Matching pink kitten heads peeked out from under the ruffled hem of her nightgown. A stuffed rag doll that looked as though it had gotten most of the stuffing loved right out of it drooped from her tiny hand.
His brothers’ eyes widened in unison at the unexpected interruption before they pivoted on booted heels to look down at Blue. For the first time since Tucker could remember, his big brothers were rendered utterly speechless.
“Come on into the kitchen, sweetheart,” he told his daughter, whose gaze was still fixed on her suddenly mute uncles.
Jackson and Garrett parted to let her through, their attention doing a slingshot in his direction as she passed by with a sleepy smile.
“Morning, Daddy,” she said in the sweetest little singsong voice he’d ever heard. Her words grabbed at his heart. He was somebody’s daddy, something he’d never expected to be after Summer had run out on their marriage. Not only had he been too hurt to think about trusting in love again, but also his still being legally wed to Summer had been keeping him from giving another relationship a chance.
Tucker returned his baby girl’s smile, an unfamiliar warmth seeping into his heart as he did so. Then he placed his hands on her tiny shoulders and slowly turned her to face his brothers. “Blue Belle Wade, these two hulking giants who don’t seem to be able to pick their jaws up from the kitchen floor are your uncles. That’s your uncle Jackson on the left and your uncle Garrett on the right.” He glanced down at his daughter, recalling she was only four. “Do you know what left and right are?”
She held out her hand, making and L shape with her fingers. “This is my left because left starts with L.”
“Very good,” he praised. He didn’t know enough about children to say for sure, but something told him Blue was an extremely bright child.
“Uncles?” Jackson muttered in confusion as he stared at Blue.
Tucker looked up at his brother with an answering nod.
Garrett attempted to process what he’d just heard. “Blue Belle Wade?” he repeated slowly, his gaze fixed on Blue with her bright smile and reddish-brown curls.
“My daughter,” Tucker said, still trying to come to grips with it all himself.
Garrett’s wide-eyed gaze snapped up to Tucker. “Your what?”
“His daughter,” Blue announced proudly, her tiny chin lifting.
“Daughter?” Jackson repeated, understandably confused by Blue’s announcement.
“Who’s hungry?” Tucker said with forced calm. He didn’t want his brothers’ raised voices to startle his daughter. “We can talk more about this while we eat. I’m making bacon and eggs.”
Blue’s gleeful expression fell. “But Aunt Autumn always makes me pancakes.”
“I’m making pancakes, too,” Tucker promptly amended, causing his brother’s gazes to swing sharply in his direction.
Jackson snorted. “Since when do you make pancakes?”
“He’s not,” another female voice chimed in. “I am.”
His brothers stepped aside as Autumn made her way past them into the kitchen to stand beside him and Blue.
This wasn’t how he’d envisioned this moment to go. He hadn’t even had a chance to prepare his brothers for the shock of finding out they were uncles. “I don’t have a pancake mix,” Tucker admitted guiltily.
“The best pancakes are made from scratch anyways,” Autumn said with a smile and then leaned over to speak to Blue. “Sweetie, I thought I told you to wait for me in the bathroom while I grabbed your hairbrush and ponytail holder from your suitcase and a change of clothes.”
“I was hungry.”
“Even so, you shouldn’t be wandering around by yourself.”
“I wasn’t by myself,” she said, looking up at Tucker who stood on her other side. “I was with my daddy.”
A slight frown tugged at Autumn’s lips as she straightened. “Yes, I suppose you were.”
Tucker looked over to find Garrett and Jackson staring at Autumn, mouths agape. And he understood why. They’d known Summer from the rodeo, had known their little brother had been sweet on her that rodeo season. And with Blue calling him daddy he could just imagine what they were thinking. Only they had it all wrong.
Clearing his throat, he said, “Jackson and Garrett, I’d like you to meet Autumn Myers, Summer’s twin sister.”
“Her twin?” Jackson said as if having trouble accepting that this wasn’t the Summer they had once known, standing there.
“Identical twin,” Autumn supplied with a sad smile.
Tucker wanted to explain why his wife wasn’t there and her sister was, but he didn’t want to mention Summer’s passing with his daughter standing there. Her mother’s loss had been traumatic enough for her as it was.
“My mommy’s in heaven,” Blue said sadly.
Tucker’s heart ached for his little girl. No child should ever have to speak those words.
An uncomfortable silence fell over the room.
Clearing the emotion from his throat, Tucker said, “Her aunt Autumn brought Blue here to meet her family.”
“And maybe I’ll get to live here if you want me,” Blue reminded him.
“As I said before, wanting you isn’t an issue,” he replied tenderly. “I do without a doubt. You belong here.”
“Tucker, please,” Autumn warned in a hushed voice beside him. “Don’t get her hopes up. It’s too soon.”
“You have a daughter,” Garrett said disbelievingly.
Tucker nodded. “I do.”
“All these years and you’ve never said anything?” Jackson grumbled, clearly hurt by what he thought had been Tucker’s decision to keep Blue’s existence from them.
“Why don’t Blue and I give you men a few moments of privacy while she gets dressed for the day?” Autumn said, taking her niece by the hand. “Just give me a holler when you’re ready for me to start on those pancakes.”
His brothers parted to let them through.
“Are my uncles mad at my daddy?” Tucker heard Blue ask as Autumn led her away. Any answer her aunt might have given was lost as the two scurried toward the entryway.
Garrett waited a moment and then turned to face him. “I can’t believe you kept this from us.”
Tucker hated the censure he saw in his brother’s eyes.
Jackson crossed the room to grab a couple of coffee cups from the cupboard. “I wouldn’t have expected this from you,” he muttered as he placed them onto the counter and then reached for the coffeepot. “Momma raised us better than that.”
This was going to be even harder than he’d imagined it would be, not that he’d had much time to think about how everything was going to play out. Just one sleepless night in the barn. He took a seat at the table and dragged a hand down over his face, feeling the stubble of his unshaven jaw. “I didn’t know about Blue,” he said, the admission stoking the flames of his resentment toward Summer for keeping his daughter from him. “Not until last evening when Autumn showed up on my doorstep to tell me about Summer’s...passing.” The word caught in his throat.
“I’m sorry,” Garrett said solemnly. “I know how much she meant to you at one time.”
Enough to marry, Tucker thought, his jaw tightening.
Jackson walked over and handed Garrett a steaming mug and then both men settled themselves into the empty chairs across the table from Tucker, disapproval etched into their tanned faces.
“I know what you’re both thinking,” Tucker grumbled. “And you’re wrong.”
“You just told us that Blue is your daughter,” their oldest brother said, pinning Tucker with his gaze.
“She is. Only I didn’t know Summer was carrying my child when she walked away from our marriage.”
Jackson nearly choked on the sip of coffee he’d just taken. “Marriage?”
“You both know I fell pretty hard for her when we met. By the time rodeo season came to an end, I couldn’t imagine leaving her. She felt the same.” At least, he’d thought she had. But if she had, she would have told him about the baby. Would have given him the chance to think about giving up the rodeo life, instead of making the decision herself to end something they had started together. “We both decided to put down roots in Cheyenne, the place where we’d first met. So I bought her a ring and got married at the courthouse.”
“You have something against church weddings?” Garrett asked with a disapproving frown.
“We wanted a quick, small, private wedding.”
“Can’t get more private than a courthouse wedding,” Jackson muttered angrily as he brought his coffee cup to his lips. “You might have at least included your immediate family in something as sacred as the exchanging of your wedding vows.”
Garrett’s downturned mouth pulled tighter. “And to think we all believed you had stayed behind when rodeo season ended to work a job until the next year’s circuit began anew.”
He had found filler work in Cheyenne to help pay the bills. That much was true.
“Did your rushed marriage have something to do with Summer having your baby?”
Tucker pinned his oldest brother with his gaze. “Blue came after the fact. I rushed into a hasty marriage with Summer because I was young and thought love was something it turned out not to be,” he replied, feeling the need to clarify things.
“We all knew you were always one to jump feetfirst into the fire,” Garrett said crossly, “but marriage, Tucker? Never mind the not including us when the nuptials took place, because you and I both know I would have done my best to talk you out of it with you being only twenty-four at the time. But why not tell us about your marriage afterward?”
“Summer and I agreed to take a little time to settle into marriage before telling our families. My family actually,” he amended, “as my wife led me to believe she had none. But things changed. My wife changed.” He went on to tell his brothers everything he knew, but there were still so many unanswered questions he might never get answers to now that she was gone.
Empathy replaced the hurt and anger he’d seen in Garrett’s eyes. His brother released a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. It certainly explains why you’ve avoided any real relationship since that summer. I put it off to your not wanting the distraction while competitively riding. Then after we started up our rodeo stock company I thought it had something to do with your delving hard into that. Never in a million years would I have guessed the truth having anything to do with you being married.”
Jackson sat back against the kitchen chair and shoved a splayed hand back through his thick hair. “I still can’t process the fact that my baby brother is a married man.”
“Widowed,” Tucker said flatly. Then, fighting back the emotion that had been roiling around in his gut all morning, he said, “And it was my forgiveness she should have been seeking at the end.”
“There’s no denying that Summer did you wrong,” Jackson acknowledged with a frown. “But she did right by asking the Lord for forgiveness. If you were there, then maybe—”
“But I wasn’t,” Tucker ground out, cutting his brother off. “I didn’t even know where there was. She left without so much as a goodbye and never made any attempt to contact me, or let me know where she was. At some point, she came back to Cheyenne, but I must have already moved back home.”
“It’s possible she tried to find you at some point, but you were already gone,” Garrett said hopefully.
“Summer knew I was born and raised in Bent Creek. She could have found me easy enough. But my wife chose to keep my little girl from me.” A myriad of emotions filled him at that moment, feelings he didn’t know how to deal with.
His brothers exchanged worried glances and then Garrett said, “It’s going to be okay.”
“How?” Tucker demanded. “I’ve missed so much. My daughter’s first smile. Her first steps. Her first birthday.” Shoving away from the table, he crossed the room to stand at the sink, staring out the bay window that looked out over the back pasture. “I’m her father,” he said, his voice breaking, “and I don’t even know when my daughter’s birthday is.”
Chairs scooted back from the kitchen table and then heavy-booted footsteps crossed the wood planks that made up the kitchen floor. A second later, he was bookended by his older brothers.
Garrett clasped a hand over his shoulder. “I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re feeling right now, but I do know that the Lord has seen fit to bless our family with your little girl. And while we can’t change the past, and the time we’ve lost with her, we can set our sights on the time we’re going to have with Blue in the years to come.”
Jackson nodded. “Garrett’s right. What really matters is seeing to it that Blue is happy. We’ve got the rest of her life to celebrate her birthdays and holidays, and worship together.”
If only it were that simple. “I pray that’s how it goes,” he replied. “First, I have to prove myself capable of caring for Blue to her aunt. Autumn has custody of my daughter, and, while she’s here honoring her sister’s wishes, she’s made it perfectly clear she’s not going to simply turn her niece over to me.”
“Then you’ll prove yourself capable,” Jackson said determinedly. “All of us will.”
Garrett looked to them both. “Good plan, but care to tell me how we do that when none of us have the slightest idea of how to care for a child, let alone a little girl?”
“Looks like I’m going to have to call Mom sooner than I’d planned,” Tucker said with a sigh. “I’d hoped to wait a few days until I’d had a chance to come to terms with suddenly being somebody’s daddy.”
“Don’t,” Jackson said with a frown. “They’ve wanted to go on this trip for as long as I can remember. What’s a few more weeks?”
Tucker shook his head. “It can’t wait. I won’t lose Blue.” If it came down to it, he’d fight for her legally. But a legal battle wasn’t something he wanted to put his daughter through. So that left proving himself to Autumn.
“You won’t,” Jackson said with conviction. “We’ll figure something out.”
Garrett nodded in agreement.
Tucker glanced toward the doorway. “We’ll talk more later. Right now, my little girl is eagerly awaiting pancakes.”
“See there,” Garrett said with a grin, “you’re already stepping into daddy mode.”
Jackson slapped Tucker on the back. “All I can say is better you than me. I’m nowhere ready to settle down to that kind of responsibility yet. However, I am looking forward to being Blue’s favorite uncle.”
“You’re going to have to settle for second favorite,” Garrett told him as they made their way out of the kitchen. “I have access to kittens.”
“Using your job to win her over,” Jackson grumbled. “That’s low. Guess I’ll have to break out the friendship card and take Blue to Sandy’s Candy’s.” Sandy was a classmate of Jackson’s who made the best homemade fudge in the county. But she also had counters filled with assorted sweets, including an entire section of penny candies.
Tucker felt some of the worry that had been pressing down on him since awakening that morning lift away. He would make this work and be the father Blue deserved, because he wasn’t in this alone. He had his family there to support him, to help Blue settle into what would be her new life. And, most important, he had the Lord to turn to when things got tough.
