Читать книгу A Pregnancy Scandal - Kat Cantrell - Страница 10

Three

Four weeks later...

The packaging on the pregnancy test was too slick for Alex’s shaking fingers to grip. Gracelessly, she stuck the end in her mouth and tore it open. The slim stick fell out and tumbled end over end into the toilet bowl with a splash. Of course.

This was surreal. The walls of the company she’d cofounded surrounded her. Fyra was a multimillion-dollar cosmetics powerhouse that she’d worked tirelessly to manage alongside her friends and partners. Every single dollar of revenue and every dime of expense had passed through her fingers from day one. She was responsible for hundreds of employees’ paychecks.

And she couldn’t do a simple thing like open plastic packaging.

“What happened?” Cass’s voice rang out from the other side of the bathroom stall.

“I’m nauseous and clumsy,” Alex shot back. “The stupid test made a break for it and landed in the water.”

This was not the way Alex wanted to spend her lunch break.

She was pretty sure the test would only confirm what she already knew in her heart to be the truth. The upset stomach she’d been battling for over a week had nothing to do with the seafood she’d eaten last Friday and everything to do with the night she’d spent with Phillip.

“Can you get it out?”

“I’m working on it.”

Liar. Staring at the little white stick down in the water wasn’t solving the problem. Alex thought about just flushing the thing and avoiding the whole question of why no amount of prayer had started her skipped period. She and Phillip had used protection. This wasn’t supposed to be happening.

“Just pee in the toilet,” Cass suggested. “You don’t have to be holding the stick for it to work.”

Alex sighed and gave in to the inevitable. “Fine. It’s done. Now, how long do I have to wait?”

“I don’t know.” Cass rustled the paper instructions she’d been holding when Alex had locked herself in the bathroom stall. “Three minutes.”

Might as well be three hours. Alex shredded her nails in under a minute and a half, not that it mattered. No one was looking at her nails. Phillip had gone back to Washington the day after his party, as promised, and they’d conversed a few times via email. He’d called twice to say hi, but so far, they hadn’t connected for dinner. She wasn’t upset. He’d let her know when he was free and that obviously hadn’t happened yet.

It was exactly what she’d signed up for. A night of passion with an amazing man who paid attention to her. She still dreamed about the way his mouth felt on hers and how gorgeous that man’s body was. Sure, she’d have liked to see him again, but that might mean having a conversation about what dating meant for them and she didn’t want to ruin the magic with real-life fears and hang-ups.

If the test came back positive, they’d be having a hell of a conversation about dates, that was for sure. Due dates, birth dates, playdates. It was mind-boggling.

She peered into the toilet. Nothing. Or maybe something. Did the results window look a little pink? Her stomach flipped over and back again. “What do the instructions say about how to read this test? What does it mean if it’s pink?”

She’d read them herself but panic drove the information from her brain.

“One pink line is not pregnant. Two pink lines is pregnant. You’ve never taken a pregnancy test before?” Cass didn’t bother to keep the incredulity from her tone. “Not even in college?”

“No,” Alex muttered. “You’d have to have sex to need one.”

She’d been just as awkward and clumsy in college as she was now. Men shied away, for the most part. Phillip was a rare exception.

Please, God, do not let that exception have irreversible consequences.

More pink bled into the window. A distinct line appeared. One line. That meant not pregnant. Except the pink was still wicking through the window, spreading its impersonal message about huge, life-alerting events.

“Why are you making me do this?”

“Because you clearly weren’t ever going to do it yourself. It’s been four weeks since Phillip’s party,” Cass reminded her, as if she needed reminding. “If you are pregnant, you’re a third of the way through the first trimester. Denial is not a good health-care plan for you or a baby.”

Baby. Oh, God. Alex had staunchly refused to even think that word. And then...a second line appeared in the window, pink and vivid and final.

“Hand me the second test,” Alex demanded hoarsely. She’d wondered why they’d included two. Obviously so people in her position could make absolutely sure.

Cass did so without comment and they waited in silence for the second confirmation.

“How accurate are these things?” Alex whispered, as again, two pink lines materialized in the window.

“Pretty accurate,” Cass confirmed. “Sometimes it says you’re not pregnant when you really are because you’ve taken the test too early. But if it says you are pregnant, that’s like 100 percent. I’m guessing it was positive. Both times.”

And now it was a reality, an undeniable, unfixable reality.

Alex was pregnant with Senator Phillip Edgewood’s baby.

Flipping the latch to unlock the wide door, she stumbled from the bathroom stall—how, she didn’t know, when everything was numb. Except her mind, of course. That was on full speed in a Tilt-a-Whirl of thoughts, none of which were cohesive.

She was going to be a mom. A life was growing inside her through the miracle of procreation. It hardly seemed possible.

Cass took one look at Alex’s face and engulfed her in a hug, holding her tight as if the sheer pressure might keep Alex together. “It’ll be okay.”

“How?” Alex mumbled into Cass’s shoulder. “How will it be okay?”

She was going to be a mom. The idea terrified her. Deep inside, she knew she could do it. She had her own mom to fall back on and look to for guidance. Alex was smart—present circumstances excluded. She had her own money and house. Maybe it would be okay.

Phillip. She had to go see him. For one brief, bright second she envisioned him opening the door, seeing her and breaking into a wide smile that she’d feel all the way to her toes. He’d confess he’d missed her, had been thinking about her and was glad she’d come by. She’d smile back and something meaningful would pass between them. She’d admit she’d thought about him, too. That she wished he’d called even though she knew why he hadn’t.

And then she’d tell him he was going to be a father. She had no idea how he’d react. Because she didn’t really know him at all.

“It’s a mess.” Alex pulled from Cass’s embrace.

“It’s a wonderful, joyous event to be celebrated amongst friends,” Cass corrected brightly. “You’re the first of us to get pregnant. Harper and Trinity will be thrilled.”

“About what?” Harper asked as the two women in question joined Alex’s nightmare right on cue. Fyra’s chief science officer’s red hair was down today, framing Harper’s lovely face, and she’d got it cut, but Alex was too shell-shocked to comment on it.

Trinity’s keen gaze zigzagged between Cass and Alex as she crossed her arms over a chic suit in a vivid shade of blue that matched the stripe coloring the right side of her dark hair. “Something’s going on. Did something happen on the FDA approval front? What did Phillip say?”

His name was like a knife through Alex’s heart, especially since she hadn’t thought about Formula-47’s FDA application one time over the past week. That was what she should have been focusing on, not her stupid crush on the man helping Fyra with the approval process.

This was the absolute worst timing. Fyra was poised to hit the billion-dollars-a-year mark in revenue with Harper’s revolutionary new skin-care formula, and Alex couldn’t do a simple thing like working with the senator on the FDA approval process without messing it all up.

“Phillip didn’t call,” she told Trinity, who she knew was chomping at the bit to get started on a new marketing campaign. “I’m pregnant.”

Harper and Trinity exclaimed happily and took turns hugging her. She had her friends, if nothing else. She breathed easier.

Cass smiled and rubbed her back. “See? We’ll hold your hand through it and be your village. Single women raise children all the time.”

Single mom. Oh, God. She hadn’t even got that far in her mind. It wasn’t just a pregnancy, but a child who needed nurturing and love.

The complexities nearly knocked her knees out from under her. She’d never intended to have children, never planned to expose a helpless child to pain and suffering at the hands of adults. Her own parents’ divorce had changed her, hardened her, driven her into teenage experimentation with drugs and alcohol, then ultimately a brush with the law. And now she’d done the one thing she’d sworn to never do—force a child to live with his or her parents’ mistakes.

This was what happened when she threw caution to the wind.

Cass had made a broad, sweeping assumption that Alex would be handling this without Phillip, but nothing could be further from what Alex had envisioned. Babies needed a family. A father. She hadn’t had one and knew that pain. Her child would have one come hell or high water.

Did Phillip even want kids? What if he would be happier washing his hands of her and the baby, perfectly fine with never seeing either of them again? How would she convince him otherwise if he hated the idea of being a dad?

And what kind of relationship would she and Phillip have? How could they be parents when they weren’t even a couple? Panic sloshed through her already nauseated stomach.

“When did you become an expert on motherhood?” Alex snapped, too freaked to temper her tone.

“Since Gage got full custody of Robbie,” Cass said simply. “Just because I didn’t give birth to him doesn’t make him any less mine. I wanted to learn.”

Cass had fallen in love with a single father and thus had to become a mother in short order. Looked like Alex would be doing the same.

A horrifying thought occurred to her then.

Maybe Phillip would want to raise the baby...without her. Oh, God. What if he tried to use his power and influence to take the baby away for some reason? Instantly, she cradled her still-flat stomach protectively. He wouldn’t do that. Would he? She bemoaned the fact that she didn’t know him well enough to guess.

It didn’t matter. No one was taking this baby from her. The child was equally hers and Phillip’s, and they were both going to have a role in its life. Period.

No child of hers was going to grow up without a loving mother and father. That started by talking to Phillip about how they would manage the next eighteen-plus years together and ended with honesty. She certainly didn’t need his money, but what she did need from him would require courage and fortitude to secure.

“I have to see a doctor. To confirm. And then fly to Washington,” she told Cass woodenly. “I know it’s the worst time to be gone, but—”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Go. Take the time you need to figure out the next steps. We’ll be here.”

Yes. Next steps. If she took this in the logical order everything would be fine.

Trinity and Harper both nodded, throwing in their own versions of support and talking a mile a minute about nursery decor, breast-feeding and maternity fashion.

“Thanks.” Alex’s throat closed and she couldn’t say anything else. Just as well. She needed to save her voice for the long conversation with Phillip looming in her future.

* * *

Phillip typed his electronic signature and sent the email. One thing off his growing list.

Cherry trees outside his office window had burst into full bloom in the past week. Spring was Phillip’s favorite time in Washington, though he enjoyed the snowy winter, too. Winter in Dallas consisted of ice storms followed by seventy-degree days. The ups and downs were maddening.

He wished his grandfather agreed. The man had spent years and years living in DC while he’d held office, but as his health declined, Max Edgewood preferred to stay in Dallas. It was the one reason Phillip commuted back and forth as much as he did; he loved his grandfather and gladly split his time between the two cities. He didn’t like to think about how few days Max might have left on this earth.

In fact, they were overdue for a visit. He should go home soon. Except he was avoiding Dallas.

Linda buzzed him through the phone intercom. “Senator, Ms. Meer is here.”

A myriad of emotions flushed through his body at the mention of the woman he’d fled to Washington to forget. He’d failed spectacularly at the forgetting part, but he’d been trying to at least stay away. No matter how much he’d wanted to arrange that dinner they’d discussed, they were all wrong for each other and she’d given him the perfect out by telling him to call when he was free. If he was at the Capitol, he wasn’t free.

What was Alex doing in Washington? It was almost as if she’d known he couldn’t stop thinking about their night together. Or, more realistically, she was here about the FDA approval process. They were still working together.

This wasn’t the first time she’d stopped by his office. It was, however, the first time she’d come by without an appointment. It was a testament to his admin’s superior mind-reading skills that she hadn’t turned Alex away.

“Send her in immediately,” he told Linda.

He stood as the door opened and Alex spilled into the room. Gone were the makeup and fancy clothes, replaced by her typical ponytail and jeans.

Her bare face glowed and something seized his lungs as he stared at her. She was even more beautiful without all the trappings she’d worn to his party. Breathtaking almost, as if something inside her had suddenly become illuminated.

“Hi,” he greeted her inanely after a long moment of silence.

She’d stolen his ability to think simply by walking into the room. That was not supposed to happen. He’d expressly promised things wouldn’t be weird between them once he knew what she looked like under that formfitting T-shirt...and he was making it weird.

“Hi,” she repeated and shifted uncomfortably. “Thanks for seeing me on short notice. I’m sorry to barge in here without calling first.”

“I’m glad.” He smiled, feeling a bit more on even ground. “I’m happy to see you.”

“You might not feel that way in a minute.”

Her eyes shone with unexpected moisture and he lost his place again. This wasn’t a social visit, obviously. “Is something wrong?”

“Maybe.” She hesitated, biting her lip in that way that said she didn’t know what to say next. “You didn’t ever issue that dinner invitation.”

Not here to talk business, then. The uncertainty glinting in her eyes put a cramp in his stomach.

“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely and cursed himself for being such an ass. “I could give you a bunch of excuses, but none of them would be the truth. I didn’t think it was fair to you to continue our relationship. So I didn’t.”

But he’d dreamed of things happening differently. A lot. If only he could take her in his arms and kiss her hello, like he wanted to.

“Because you got what you were after and now you’re done?” she whispered.

The simple question whacked him between the eyes. He’d hurt her feelings with his stupid rules and the loneliness that had caused him to act selfishly.

“That’s not it at all.” True, and yet nowhere near the whole truth. He was done, but not for the reasons she seemed to think. He sighed. “I like you a lot, Alex, but I’m not sure we’re meant to continue our affair. It’s complicated. And not your fault. I wish things could be different. And not so complicated.”

She choked out a laugh that sounded a bit like a sob. “Yeah, I wish that, too. Unfortunately, things are far more complicated than you could ever dream.”

“What—”

“I’m pregnant.”

His expression froze into place, a practiced mechanism to keep his audience from guessing his thoughts before he was ready to share them.

Pregnant.

The simple word bled through his mind and fractured into pieces as a thousand simultaneous thoughts vied for attention. Pregnant. It echoed, tearing through his heart painfully. The obvious question—whether she thought he was the father—clearly didn’t need to be asked. She wouldn’t be here otherwise.

Now would be a good time to say something. “That’s an unexpected development.”

Because he needed to do something with his hands, he pushed the intercom button. “Linda, can you bring Ms. Meer a bottle of water?”

Then he rounded the three-hundred-year-old desk that had been his grandfather’s, gifted to Phillip when his grandfather retired, and hustled Alex to the couch where he sometimes slept when he couldn’t face his lonely condo on 2nd Street. “Please. Sit down.”

She complied, sinking to the couch as if her bones couldn’t hold her upright any longer. He knew the feeling. Linda hurried in with the water and handed it to Alex with a friendly nod and then disappeared, as a good admin should.

“I’m sorry to blurt it out like that,” Alex said solemnly and drank the water. “I don’t phrase things well under the best circumstances and I’m still kind of in shock.”

“I would imagine so.” Blearily, he scrubbed his face with his hands and breathed deeply. For fortitude. It didn’t help. “How do you feel? Okay? Do you need a paper bag? I’ll get you one as long as you share it with me.”

She flashed a brief smile. “Are you having sympathy morning sickness?”

“No, I was thinking about breathing into it.” Because he felt like he might pass out. “It’s my baby, right?”

“Yeah.” Her smile disappeared. “I’m not all that good at luring men into bed. Look how long it took for me to get you there. But we can do a paternity test while I’m here, if you want.”

The sooner, the better. He trusted Alex, but he couldn’t afford mistakes.

This could not be happening. Phillip had lived his life carefully for nearly two decades. Even as a teenager, he’d been mindful that political aspirations could die easily with the wrong decisions, and he’d never had a reason to conceal his actions. While other politicians paid off former mistresses and employed spin doctors to get them out of hot water with the media, Phillip preferred honesty—after all, if you never did anything questionable, you didn’t have to cover it up.

This was all his fault. The condoms must have been older than he’d remembered. And now they’d both pay the price.

Pregnant. Alex was pregnant.

He couldn’t repeat it enough times for it to stick in his brain as a fact, like the way he knew the sky was blue without looking at it. Alex was a great person, a businesswoman he was helping navigate the bureaucracy of the FDA approval process. Thinking of her like that was easy. She was also a sexy woman whose company he’d enjoyed at a party a few weeks ago.

And now she had a third designation: the mother of his child.

It changed everything.

They had to get married. His heart squeezed painfully once, and he shut it down ruthlessly. There was so much more to consider here than how he’d always thought he’d have a baby with Gina. So much more to consider than Alex’s lack of credentials as the perfect wife to fit his needs.

If he planned to be honest with his constituents, there was no other solution than to surround Alex, his child and his career with the protection of marriage. No man with Phillip’s political platform could ascend to the Oval Office with an illegitimate child any sooner than he could as a single man. The press would eat him alive, gleefully portraying his family values as hypocrisy.

Except all he could think about was Alex spread out on his bed, underneath him, as he made love to her. What would it be like to wake up to her in the morning? He couldn’t lie to himself any more than he could to his supporters; marrying her meant they could continue that part of their relationship.

The pregnancy meant he could have Alex and keep his emotional commitment to Gina, because of course Alex wouldn’t expect him to be in love with her. He could raise his baby with his child’s mother. The rest of the complications were a huge compromise, but one he was willing to make for the benefits.

He had no clue whether Alex would marry him under those conditions, but he had to try to convince her.

She cleared her throat. “We need to talk about next steps.”

“Agreed.” His mind raced through his calendar, rearranging appointments and projects. He could carve out time for the flurry of activity that was about to become both their realities. He had to. “My mother will want to plan a huge splashy ceremony, but I can probably talk her off the ledge if you’d rather have something a bit simpler.”

His parents would be thrilled he’d finally moved on. His mom had bemoaned never having grandkids twice a week for over a year, and at least this development would make her happy.

She stared at him. “Your mother will want to have a ceremony to announce the pregnancy? Don’t take this the wrong way, but that’s very strange.”

Flubbed that up, moron.

When he’d asked Gina to marry him he’d gone the distance with a surprise trip to Venice, a hired violinist and a ten-carat diamond that had once belonged to a Vanderbilt. But he’d had considerably longer than ten minutes to plan it and a huge gaping hole in his life that only Gina could fill.

Yet he was about to start a family with Alex instead. Yes, he liked her, but the biggest decision he’d thought he had in relation to her was whether he’d break his promise to himself about not calling her. It was numbing how quickly everything had turned on its head.

This woman was going to be his wife if he had anything to say about it. He needed to start acting like it.

“I’m sorry. Let’s back up.” He took her hand and held it, though why he thought that small bit of contact would help, he couldn’t say. “Alex, we have to get married.”

And that wasn’t much better as proposals went.

Her face went white and she snatched her hand away from his as if he’d scalded her. “Married? Why would we get married? That’s insane. We don’t know each other.”

The note of desperation in her voice didn’t sit well. “We don’t know each other well enough to be parents either, but facts are facts. As the baby’s father, I want to consider what’s best for him or her. Unless the paternity-test results might offer another reason for your denial?”

Something broke open inside him as he thought about Alex with another man. Irrational, to be sure, especially since he was the one who hadn’t called. He didn’t own her.

But he had never stopped thinking about her, or her sweet fire as they’d connected—her skin, her eyes, all of it. He wouldn’t apologize for having a strong attraction to a woman who’d just announced she was carrying his child, nor for the fact that marriage meant he was the only one allowed the privilege of sleeping with her. Fidelity was as much a part of his makeup as statesmanship. There was no denying that she still affected him, and if they were living together, it was a natural conclusion that they’d continue their physical relationship. He certainly wanted to.

“No, of course not,” she said. “This is your baby.”

In DC, the first thing you learned was how to tell if someone was lying. She wasn’t. Regardless, he needed to make sure. The test could be done relatively quickly and would only confirm what he already knew in his gut.

“Here’s what we’re going to do.” The plan rolled through his head. “I’ll clear my schedule for the day and we’ll get the test. Then will you agree to talk about what comes next?”

Hesitating, she blinked and met his gaze, vulnerability and fear in her expression. It prompted him to fix whatever was wrong so she’d smile again. He ached to take her into his arms. For comfort, not to kiss her, though he’d have sworn a minute ago that sparks were the only thing between them.

Even that was too much.

The way Alex affected him clashed with the place inside that belonged to his first wife. That unsettled him nearly as much as the idea of Alex being pregnant. But if he wanted to have a family—and he did—not only would he have to convince Alex marriage was the best option, he would have to convince himself to stay strong against the tide of emotions she elicited.

No second chances in life or love. That meant he would never have feelings for another woman. This compromise might be harder than he’d envisioned.

“Okay,” she said, her voice low. “We can talk. But you’ll have to rethink the idea of marriage. I’m not a member of the cult of love and romance.”

She wasn’t? He stared at her as his argument for marriage shifted gears and fell into place.