Читать книгу The Doctor's Rescue - Kate Hardy - Страница 7

THERE was a long, long pause. A pause in which Mallory couldn’t bring herself to look back at Will. A pause that seemed to last for hours, though it could only have been seconds.

‘What happened?’

His voice was gentle. Kind, not condemning. She glanced up at him and saw only concern in his eyes, not judgement. And then, at last, she was able to tell him.

‘One of my patients came in complaining of a sore shoulder.’ Mallory swallowed. ‘Lindy had been carrying her toddler about, so I just assumed it was a muscle sprain. I should have thought about shoulder-tip pain being caused by irritation of the diaphragm.’

Will clearly followed her train of thought, as he said, ‘Did she say she was pregnant?’

Mallory bit her lip. ‘No. She said she was on the Pill, and she’d had a light period a couple of weeks before. I should have known better. As a doctor, I know that you can still have vaginal bleeding in pregnancy, and if she’d missed a pill or had been ill, her contraceptive might have let her down. But I didn’t push it.’ She took a swig of coffee.

‘Ectopic pregnancy?’ Will guessed.

‘Yes. And I didn’t pick it up. I was her GP, and I let her down. Badly. I didn’t give her a pregnancy test, just in case, and I didn’t send her for a scan. If I had, they’d have picked it up early enough.’

‘Any abdominal pain?’

‘No.’

Will shrugged. ‘Hard one to call if she said she wasn’t pregnant, had no abdominal pain.’ He swallowed hard.

Clearly he needed a drink, Mallory thought. How could she be so selfish as to sit here and jabber on at him, burden him with her problems, when he really needed looking after? She put her coffee on his bedside cabinet and brought the cup of water down within his reach.

‘Thanks.’ He took a small sip through the straw, then another. Then stopped. ‘Don’t want you to tell me off again,’ he said.

That half-smile again. She’d bet her last penny that the full monty was the type of smile that would make you cross frozen wastes. Correction. The type of smile that would make frozen wastes feel like lush, temperate pastureland. ‘One in five.’

‘Hmm?’ She’d lost him completely.

‘One in five. Women with ectopic pregnancy who have normal periods.’

She knew the statistic too, but it didn’t make her feel any better.

‘But I should have checked, Will. I didn’t.’

Because she’d been too preoccupied with Geoff. Kind, sweet Geoff and his completely unexpected proposal. Well, it hadn’t been that unexpected—she’d known from the start that his feelings had been stronger than hers. She’d known what the right answer should have been, but had asked him for time to think about it. Think about whether she could settle down at the practice in the New Forest, bury her love for the mountains and become the domesticated doctor he’d wanted her to be; whether she could live someone else’s dreams for the rest of her life. Or whether she could bring herself to hurt him by saying no.

In the end, there had been only one decision. The kindest thing for both of them. She’d told him she loved him, but she couldn’t be the woman he needed. She couldn’t be his wife. She’d written out her resignation and applied to register as a locum in Cumbria—putting distance between them and giving her a chance to climb while she thought about what to do next.

And then, in the grim weeks when she’d worked out her notice, when she’d seen how Geoff had lost weight and she’d had dark shadows under her eyes and had started wondering maybe if she should have just put his happiness before her own and said yes, she’d nearly lost a patient. Lindy. ‘Her tube ruptured the next day. She went into shock, lost a lot of blood. They nearly lost her—as it was, the Fallopian tube had to be removed and she needed a lot of transfusions. And it was all my fault. If I’d done my job properly, sent her for a scan, they’d have seen the problem and taken her into surgery before the tube ruptured.’

‘You’re a doctor—but you’re human.’ Will reached to take her hand with his uninjured one.

The feel of his skin against hers sent a shiver of sheer pleasure down her spine. She should pull her hand away—right now—but she couldn’t.

He squeezed her hand. ‘We all make mistakes.’

Not on this scale. All because her mind hadn’t been on her job. ‘I should have known better. And my incompetence ruined a family’s Christmas.’ More than one family’s, actually. Three. Lindy’s, Geoff’s and her own.

‘Mallory, your patient didn’t die.’

‘No.’

‘Had she already lost a Fallopian tube?’

Mallory shook her head.

‘No reason why she can’t have a baby in future, then.’

‘But it shouldn’t have happened in the first place,’ Mallory insisted obstinately.

‘Your senior partner gave you time off?’

‘I resigned,’ she said quietly. What else could she have done? She’d let everyone down. Charles—Geoff’s father, the senior partner and her father’s best friend from medical school, the man who’d given her the job in the first place. Her own father, who’d so wanted her to follow in his footsteps. Geoff, who’d wanted her to be his wife and the mother of his children.

‘Why?’

Because of Geoff. Though she couldn’t tell Will that. And then, after what happened with Lindy…‘Maybe I’m just not meant to be a doctor,’ she said. She bit her lip. ‘Dad’s a GP. So are my brothers—they work in the same practice, actually. So right from the start everyone assumed I’d do the same. The only thing I did differently was to work in another practice when I qualified—Dad thought I was just gaining experience until I was ready to join Drs Ryman, Ryman and Ryman. But I screwed it up and I let everyone down.’

‘You’re being too hard on yourself.’

‘Am I?’ Mallory shrugged. ‘I dunno. I needed time to think. So I came here.’ She smiled wryly. ‘I suppose I take after my mother. When in doubt, go climbing.’

‘So what are you going to do?’

‘Climb. Think about what I want to do.’

Will’s hand tightened on hers for a moment, and then he moved his hand away. And he’d gone pale. ‘Are you all right?’ she asked.

‘Fine.’

He didn’t look it. She placed her hand on his forehead. No temperature. His breathing wasn’t rapid or shallow. She swiftly checked his pulse. A bit fast, but in the normal range. Maybe he was just tired—though she’d tell the nurse on her way out. It might be the first signs of shock. ‘Will, I’d better let you rest.’

He shook his head. ‘’M fine. What’re your choices?’

‘Give up medicine. Or if I do stay in medicine…I might do some locuming for a bit. Maybe join Médicins Sans Frontières.’

Her father had accused her of running away. Though how could she have stayed in the New Forest? Mallory had let Charles down on all fronts. Professionally, she’d made a stupid—nearly fatal—mistake. Personally, she’d let his son fall in love with her and had broken his heart—because Mallory knew that she couldn’t marry Geoff. She loved him dearly, but just as a friend—she wasn’t in love with him. Geoff was good and kind and honest and decent, and he’d make somebody a fantastic husband. He’d be a brilliant dad. But he wasn’t the right one for her. Climbing in extreme conditions was as alien to him as the planet Mars. The one time she’d confessed to Geoff that her secret dream was to climb Everest, he’d thought she was joking.

Coming to the Lakes had been the right thing to do. A clean break—kinder to Geoff, too, because it would give him the chance to meet someone who deserved him. Someone who’d give him the cosy domestic set-up that was his dream.

Not that it had been easy to explain to her father. Dominic Ryman had been delighted when Mallory had told him she was going out with Geoff. A marriage between the two families would have been perfect in his eyes.

But it wasn’t going to happen.

Climbing—a chance to think. Will knew someone else who’d taken that point of view. Two people, in fact. One of them was dead and the other was hundreds of miles away in a war zone, working for Médicins Sans Frontières. Just as Mallory could be doing shortly.

And it was all his fault. He had to live with the guilt for the rest of his life. If he’d been different, been a daredevil risk-taking climber like Roly instead of the sort who double-checked all his equipment and never took risks…But he wasn’t. And his fiancée Julie had fallen out of love with him and in love with his twin brother.

The night Roly and Julie had told him about their love affair, Will had switched his mobile phone off, taken his phone off the hook and tried to drown his sorrows—knowing that he wasn’t on call that night or over the weekend, so he wouldn’t be letting his patients down. But he’d been in no mood to think about the weather. He hadn’t even realised how bad the storm had got. The mountain rescue team hadn’t been able to get in touch with him. But they had managed to contact Roly. So Roly had been the one abseiling down the cliff to rescue the stupid, irresponsible, brainless climber who’d decided to tackle Sharp Edge—the scariest slopes in the Lakes—in appalling weather and had got stuck.

If he himself hadn’t been so selfish, trying to blot out his feeling of misery and betrayal, he would have been the one who’d answered the call. He would have been the one who’d plummeted down the cliff when the rope had snapped. Roly would still be alive, and Julie wouldn’t be nursing a broken heart. She wouldn’t be feeling so miserable without the love of her life that she’d be risking her own life in a war zone, because nothing mattered to her any more…

He pulled his thoughts away with difficulty. This wasn’t about him. It was about Mallory. Mallory, the stranger who’d come to his rescue at the accident and who even now was keeping him company when she owed him absolutely nothing.

Mallory, who was a trained GP.

And, like it or not, he had problems of his own to face as well. Such as who was going to replace him until he was fit enough to work again.

‘I might have a solution,’ Will said slowly. To both their situations.

She frowned. ‘What?’

‘Look at me.’ He gestured to himself. ‘I’m a GP. But I can’t see my patients from a hospital bed. And I’m left-handed.’ He gave his cast a rueful look. ‘Can’t update patient notes, can’t write out a prescription—can’t even sign one printed off the computer. Or drive out to house calls.’

‘I think driving’s out for a few weeks.’

She smiled. And it transformed her face so much he almost wished he hadn’t made her smile. Because it was like being a child with his nose pressed against the toyshop window, longing for something he couldn’t have.

‘Look, you need some space to think, a chance to see if you still want to work as a doctor, but without any pressure. I need a locum. And I really hate interviewing. Interviewing with a headache’s going to be even worse. So if you agree to be my locum, we could solve each other’s problems.’

She frowned. ‘But I’ve just told you. I nearly killed someone.’

‘You made a mistake—a mistake that anyone could have made in the circumstances,’ he corrected. ‘And you’ve already shown me that you’ve learned from it. Look at the way you double-checked whether I’d had a previous bad reaction to co-proxamol.’

‘Ye-es.’

Co-proxamol, which had taken away the pain. At least he could think clearly again. He wasn’t slurring any more either. And hopefully his mouth was working in synch with his brain again and he sounded coherent. Because he really, really needed to talk Mallory round to his way of thinking. ‘Everyone doubts themselves at some point. If a patient dies on you, you always think it’s your fault—that maybe you could have saved them if only you’d done something else, tried another drug or referred them for a different procedure.’

‘That’s different. It’s not the same as making a stupid mistake in the first place.’

‘A mistake that you won’t repeat. Don’t be so hard on yourself,’ Will said softly. ‘Everyone deserves a second chance.’

‘Can’t the others at your practice cover you?’

‘They’ve probably taken care of my list for today, they’ll manage tomorrow and it’s not my weekend on call anyway,’ Will said, ‘but it wouldn’t be fair of me to ask for more. I need a locum, starting Monday. It’s going to take—what, six weeks?—until my arm’s out of plaster, and who knows how long before my leg’s right again? Three months?’

‘Not to mention the physio you’ll need to stop your muscles atrophying. And remember, no weight on that leg—you don’t want to risk malunion. It’s the most common problem with a fractured tibia.’

He nodded. ‘See? You think like a doctor, Mallory.’

‘Maybe.’

‘Even if it’s only for a month, it’ll take the pressure off my partners,’ Will said.

‘And what will your senior partner have to say about it?’ Mallory persisted.

‘He agrees with me.’

She frowned. ‘But I’m the only one who’s visited you.’

‘I’m the senior partner.’

Mallory stared at him. ‘Either you’re incredibly young to be a senior partner, or you’ve got a picture in your attic.’

Well, of course he was young. He’d thrown himself into his work since the accident. But Mallory had enough on her plate. He wasn’t going to lay his own guilt trip on her. ‘Maybe both. I’m thirty-four.’

‘What will your partners think when you tell them you’ve picked a stranger off the streets to be your locum?’

‘A qualified doctor,’ he corrected, ‘who rescued me from the accident. Siobhan’ll say it’s fate. She and Tom’ll be delighted to have you on board. Nathan—he’s my practice manager—will be only too pleased not to have to go through the list of locums and find someone who wants to do more than one morning a week.’ He paused. ‘Um…you do want to do more than one morning a week?’

‘Yes. I could do three or four surgeries a week—even five—and still get a chance to explore the area.’

She meant ‘climb’. He forced himself to ignore the ache in his heart. ‘So. You’re a qualified GP. Vocational training up to date?’

She nodded. ‘And I’ve got certificates to prove it.’

‘Fully insured?’

‘Yes. I’ve got the papers, too.’

‘You’re MRCGP?’

‘Yes, I’m a Member of the Royal College of General Practitioners.’ She smiled. ‘OK, now I believe you’re an extremely young senior partner.’

‘Huh?’ He didn’t follow.

‘If you can remember to ask all the right screening questions when you’ve been hit by a car, you’ve been in Theatre and you’re on painkillers…’ She spread her hands. ‘You’ll be seriously scary when you’re back on your feet.’

‘I’m not scary in the slightest.’ He gave her a wicked look. ‘Though Marion is.’

‘Marion?’

‘Marion Prentiss, our receptionist—she’s one of the old school and a complete dragon.’

‘Bit stereotypical, isn’t it?’

He shrugged. ‘But it works. Nobody misses an appointment at our practice, believe you me. And God help the doctor who’s late for surgery. Though if you’re ill, the first one to be there offering help is our Marion. She’s a pussycat really—you just have to know how to treat her.’

‘So what’s the secret?’

‘Make sure you’re on time—and make her a cup of coffee when you get in. Then there’s Hayley, our practice nurse, the type who’s everyone’s favourite aunty. They’re a good team.’

‘I need time to think about it,’ she warned.

‘Of course you do.’ But there was still something that could put a major spanner in the works. ‘Are you registered up here?’

Mallory nodded. ‘I registered a while back, when I resigned from my last practice. I knew I wanted to stay in Cumbria for a few months and my savings weren’t going to keep me indefinitely. I had the official acceptance through before Christmas—though I was planning to do some climbing before putting my name down on the lists or joining the local association of non-principals.’

‘So the paperwork’s not going to be a problem.’ Will knew it could take over a month to sort out registration. At least he didn’t have to face that hurdle. ‘Good. Go and think about it. Have a look round the surgery in Darrowthwaite tomorrow, meet the gang, see if you like them—I’m sure they’ll like you. If you agree to join us for a while, Nathan can sort out the contractual side of things and references.’ He paused. ‘But if you’re going climbing, you will tell someone where you’re going and when you’ll be back, won’t you?’

She gave him a withering look. ‘Of course. I’ve been climbing for over twenty years, I’ll have you know.’

‘What was that you were saying about pictures in the attic?’ he teased.

‘I started young. Mum’s always been mountain-mad—I was named after the Everest climber George Mallory,’ she said. ‘My brothers and I were climbing almost before we could walk.’

She didn’t mention her father, he noticed.

‘So I’m perfectly aware of the drill—and that if you have to call the rescue services from your mobile phone, tell them you’re in the Lakes because at the top of Scafell you might get connected to the services in Inverness or the Isle of Man.’

‘OK.’ He lifted his uninjured hand in a gesture of surrender. ‘So I was teaching you to suck eggs.’

‘I just like the challenge of climbing,’ she said. ‘Seeing a rockface, getting to the top and knowing that I’ve beaten all the elements by myself.’

Yeah. Will remembered that feeling. He even missed it. But the last time he’d tried to go climbing, he’d only got as far as pulling his boots on. And then the guilt had slammed in. He couldn’t do it any more. He just couldn’t. ‘Mad.’

Her jaw set and he realised he’d spoken aloud. ‘I don’t take stupid risks,’ she informed him tartly.

He hadn’t meant her. But how could he tell her the truth? ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to insult your intelligence.’

‘No offence taken.’

‘Good.’ He made himself say it, even though the words reopened his wounds. ‘Go climb your mountain, Mallory.’ He couldn’t resist adding, ‘Safely.’

She gave him a speaking look.

He ignored it. ‘And then tell me what you’ve decided tomorrow.’

‘OK. But you need to get some rest.’ She gathered her belongings together again and this time, Will didn’t protest. ‘Is there anyone you want me to ring for you?’

‘Thanks, but it’s OK. The town grapevine’s pretty good. The minute surgery’s over, no doubt Nathan will be here.’

‘I’ll see you tomorrow, then.’

‘Yep.’ He dredged up another smile, though he was starting to hurt again. ‘Have a nice evening.’

‘You, too.’

When Mallory closed the cubicle curtain behind her, Will felt strangely bereft. Disappointed, even. Though, of course, she wasn’t going to kiss him goodbye, not even on the cheek. And he had to be off his head, asking her to be his locum without checking first that she really was who she said she was, that she was properly qualified and competent. Especially when she’d already told him she had doubts about staying in medicine. Big doubts.

But there was something about Mallory Ryman.

Oh, who was he trying to kid? Something, indeed. The woman was gorgeous. Drop-dead gorgeous. But he’d spent the last five years following his head instead of his heart. He wasn’t going to change that now. If Mallory agreed to be his locum, and if her paperwork checked out—he certainly wasn’t going to put his patients at risk—they’d be friends. Strictly friends. Nothing more. Because how could he possibly get involved with someone who climbed, when climbing had shattered his life?