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CHAPTER ONE

‘I CAN’T WAIT to get rid of you,’ Danielle said. ‘You’ve made me miserable, you’ve stopped me doing everything I love doing, and I do actually hate you.’

She looked up to see Alex, the new consultant on the maternity ward, standing in the open doorway of her office.

He raised an eyebrow. ‘Practising your break-up speech?’

Dani felt the colour flood into her face. ‘I hope I’d be a little kinder than that.’ Certainly kinder than Leo had been to her, last Christmas Eve, when he’d told her that their marriage was over and he was leaving her for someone else. Someone else who was expecting his baby—when he’d told Dani only a few months before that he wasn’t ready to start a family.

She pushed the thought away. ‘If you must know, I was talking to my walking cast.’

‘Right.’

There wasn’t even the glimmer of a smile, and she sighed inwardly. From what she’d seen of him over the last couple of months, Alex Morgan was good with their patients, but all his social skills seemed to switch off as soon as he had to deal with his colleagues on anything other than a work basis. He hadn’t been to a single team night out, always ate lunch on his own, and if he was in the staff kitchen he never joined in with the conversation.

She didn’t think he was being snooty; but she didn’t think he was shy, either. There was obviously a reason why he kept his distance from everyone else, but Dani—who’d always got on well with everyone—had no idea how to reach him. He was possibly the most difficult person in the department to have as the co-organiser of the ward’s Christmas party, but she’d just have to make the best of it.

‘You wanted to see me?’ he asked.

‘We need to talk about organising the ward’s Christmas meal. Are you busy at lunchtime today, or can we discuss it over a sandwich?’

‘Sorry. I have meetings,’ he said.

Dani didn’t believe a word of it, but the ward’s Christmas meal still needed to be sorted out. If she gave Alex a longer timeframe, he’d be forced to pick a day. And if he picked one of the two evenings this week when she was busy, then she’d move her other arrangements because she really wanted to get this done and dusted. She gave him the sweetest, sweetest smile. ‘OK. Do you have time for a coffee after work some time in the next two weeks to discuss it?’

He masked his expression quickly, but not before Dani had seen it. He’d obviously realised what her game plan was, and he couldn’t think of a decent excuse that would work for two whole weeks.

Gotcha, she thought in satisfaction.

He took his phone out of his pocket and made a show of checking his diary, though she was pretty sure it wasn’t that full.

‘How about tomorrow?’ he suggested.

‘That’ll be fine, as Hayley’s training with Sam tomorrow night.’ She glared at her cast. ‘Thanks to this.’

‘Uh-huh.’

OK. So he wasn’t going to bite. Anyone else would’ve been polite enough to ask what she’d done to her foot, or at least make a comment. But Alex clearly didn’t want to get into conversation with her. Fair enough. She couldn’t force him to make friends with her. If he wanted to keep himself to himself, that was his decision and it wasn’t her place to try and change it.

‘Thank you. I’ll meet you outside the staffroom tomorrow after our shift,’ she said.

‘Fine,’ he said.

And still he didn’t give her a single smile.

She sighed inwardly, and got on with writing up the case notes from her clinic that morning.

* * *

God, what was wrong with him? Alex wondered as he headed to his own office. Danielle Owens was nice. She’d been friendly right from his first day on the ward, trying to make him feel part of the team, and in response he’d been completely standoffish. Meeting her for a drink tomorrow night to discuss the team’s Christmas meal was the only social invitation he’d accepted in the two months he’d been working at Muswell Hill Memorial Hospital, and that was solely because the head of the department had blithely informed him that his predecessor had been scheduled to organise it with Dani and he was sure that Alex would be happy to step into those shoes, too.

Actually, Alex wasn’t happy about it. At all. But he didn’t have much choice.

Maybe he should’ve taken a longer break. But six months was surely long enough to get your head round the fact that you weren’t who you thought you were, and everything you’d always believed wasn’t true. He needed to stop sulking about it and just get on with things. And he’d really missed his job. At least he knew who he was at work. Alexander Morgan, obstetric consultant.

He shook himself. Now wasn’t the time to start brooding. Or to wonder whether his shortness of temper and foul mood was an early sign of the incurable neurodegenerative disease that the man he now had to think of as his father was suffering from. He had notes to write up, a sandwich to eat, and a clinic to sort out.

* * *

‘OK, Mrs Hamilton—may I call you Judy?’ Dani asked.

The other woman nodded, looking wretched.

‘According to our notes, you’re sixteen weeks pregnant at the moment, and your midwife asked if I could fit you into my clinic today.’

Judy dragged in a breath. ‘Thank you so much for seeing me, Dr Owens.’

‘Call me Dani. And it’s no problem. So tell me how things are going,’ Dani said.

‘It’s awful,’ Judy said. ‘I’ve never felt so ill in my entire life. I can’t keep anything down, even water. I’ve tried everything—sniffing lemons, drinking ginger tea and eating a dry biscuit before I get up in the morning. I’m not doing any cooking, and when I do try to eat it’s things that don’t smell and are high in carbs and not fatty, but I still can’t keep anything down.’

Judy was doing all the right things to help with morning sickness, Dani knew; but what she was suffering from sounded rather more serious than everyday morning sickness.

‘Nothing works, and all I seem to do is throw up all day.’ Judy grimaced. ‘My boss sent me home from work today, saying I had to take a few days off, and there was blood in the vomit last time I threw up. That’s why I called my midwife, because I was so worried.’

‘I’m glad you did. Did the blood look like little streaks?’ Dani asked.

Judy nodded.

‘OK. I know it looks scary but it’s actually quite normal in pregnancy,’ Dani reassured her. ‘When you’ve been sick a lot, the lining of your oesophagus gets irritated and it’s more likely to get a tiny little tear in it, which is why you saw blood. But we really need to get to the bottom of why you’re being sick all the time. Are you OK for me to take a blood sample from you?’

Judy looked slightly nervous. ‘I hate needles, but yes.’

Dani took a sample of blood to check Judy’s electrolytes, renal function and liver function.

‘And can I ask you to get on the scales for me?’ She checked the display. ‘You’ve lost four kilograms since your last check-up.’

‘Is that bad?’

‘It’s completely what I expected, with what you’ve told me about being so sick,’ Dani said, and handed Judy a sample bottle. ‘Can you do me a midstream urine sample, please?’

While Judy was in the toilet, Dani sent the blood tests off. When Judy came back, the urine sample was quite dark, indicating that Judy was dehydrated, and a dipstick test showed signs of ketones, where the body broke down fat instead of glucose for energy.

‘Is it all OK?’ Judy asked.

‘All your symptoms added together are giving me a better picture,’ Dani said. She checked Judy’s notes. ‘When you had your twelve-week scan, the radiographer confirmed there was only one baby.’ And, to Dani’s relief, there was also no indication of a molar pregnancy.

‘And then I was sick on the bed,’ Judy said miserably. ‘Everyone I know says morning sickness goes by twelve weeks, but that was a month ago for me. I feel worse every day, instead of better.’

‘Morning sickness can last for up to twenty weeks,’ Dani said, ‘but in your case I agree with your midwife. I think you have hyperemesis gravidarum—which is a very severe form of morning sickness.’

‘Did I do something wrong to get it?’ Judy asked.

‘No. We don’t actually know what causes it, though it does seem to run in families. Do you know if your mum had it, or do you have a sister who had it?’

Judy shook her head. ‘Mum never said, and I’m an only child.’

‘The most likely cause is hormonal activity, which I know doesn’t help you much,’ Dani said.

‘I feel rotten, but I can live with that as long as the baby’s all right.’ Judy bit her lip. ‘Though I can’t eat anything, so I’m scared the baby’s not getting proper nutrition.’

‘Try not to worry,’ Dani said, and squeezed her hand. ‘It’s very possible that the baby will be smaller than average because of your situation, but we’ll keep a close eye on you. I hope it reassures you to know that being sick isn’t going to hurt your baby—though obviously it’s very miserable for you.’

‘I can’t believe how bad all kinds of things smell, even tins. I can’t stand being on the Tube because of the smell of people’s armpits—and it must be so much worse in summer.’ Judy shuddered at the thought, and retched again.

Dani handed her a tissue. ‘I’m going to admit you to the ward and put you on a drip so we can get some fluids into you,’ she said. ‘We can also give you some medicine that will help to stop the sickness.’

Judy frowned. ‘But won’t that harm my baby?’

‘No. We’ll give you some tablets that are safe for the baby,’ Dani reassured her. ‘You’ll be able to take them at home as well.’

Judy closed her eyes for a moment. ‘I’m so tired. I don’t think I can cope with this for much longer.’

‘Hyperemesis can last for a long time, and I have to tell you that in some cases it doesn’t actually get better until the baby arrives,’ Dani warned.

‘So I might be sick like this for the rest of my pregnancy?’

‘Hopefully not. Let’s see how you’re feeling after a day or so in here,’ Dani said. ‘Once you’re no longer dehydrated, you’ve had some proper rest and maybe managed to keep something down, you’ll feel a bit better.’

‘So I have to stay in?’

Dani nodded. ‘For a day or two, so we can keep an eye on you. And, because we want you on bed rest, we’ll get you to wear compression stockings and give you some heparin injections, to make sure you don’t develop any blood clots. I’ll have a word with your consultant at the end of my clinic, and he might come and have a chat with you. But in the meantime I’ll get one of the midwives to help settle you onto the ward. Is there someone we can call for you?’

‘My husband,’ Judy said.

Dani checked his mobile number with Judy. ‘I’ll call him while you’re getting settled on the ward, and maybe he can bring you some things from home.’

‘Thank you.’ Judy’s eyes filled with tears. ‘I feel so stupid, making such a fuss.’

‘You’re not making a fuss,’ Dani said. ‘You have a medical condition that’s making you feel awful, and my job’s to help you feel better. You did exactly the right thing, calling your midwife—and your midwife did the right thing, telling you to come here.’ She opened the door of the consulting room and went over to the first midwife she could see. ‘Jas, I’ve got a mum with hyperemesis and I want her admitted to the ward and put on a drip. Would you be able to settle her in for me, please?’

‘Sure,’ Jas said with a smile.

‘Thanks.’

Back in the consulting room, Dani introduced Jas to Judy. ‘Judy, this is Jasminder Lund, one of our midwives. Jas, this is Judy Hamilton. Judy, Jas is going to look after you, and I’ll pop in and see you after my clinic.’

‘Thank you so much,’ Judy said, and let Jas lead her out to the ward.

Dani called Judy’s husband and explained what was happening, and then checked Judy’s file to see who her consultant was. Hopefully it would be Anton Powell; he was always really good with worried mums.

The file said otherwise and she sighed inwardly. Oh, great. It would have to be Alex Morgan. But Dani would just have to sideline her impatience with him, because Judy and the baby’s welfare came first.

She saw the rest of the mums on her list, then went to find Alex in his office.

‘Do you have a moment, please?’ she asked. ‘I need to talk to you about one of your patients.’

‘Sure.’ His voice was carefully neutral, and so was his expression.

‘Judy Hamilton. She’s dehydrated, losing weight, her urine showed ketones, and I’m waiting for her bloods to come back.’ Dani swiftly ran through the case with him. ‘I’ve admitted her with hyperemesis, and asked Jas to settle her in and put her on a drip.’

‘Good call,’ he said.

‘I told her I’d talk to you at the end of my clinic, then go and see her.’

‘I’ll come with you,’ he said.

On the way to Judy’s room, he collected a cup of ice chips.

When they walked in, Judy was retching miserably into a bowl. Without a word—and before Dani could do it herself—Alex found a cloth and moistened it. When Judy had finished being sick, he wiped her face gently, and handed her the cup of ice chips. ‘I know right now you can’t keep anything down, but you might find that sucking on an ice chip will make your mouth feel a little better,’ he said. ‘Hello, Mrs Hamilton. I’m Alex Morgan, your consultant, and Dani here’s told me how terrible you’re feeling.’

‘I’m sor—’ she began.

‘There’s nothing to apologise for,’ he cut in, ‘so please don’t worry. Hyperemesis is a medical condition that unfortunately affects some women, and right now I’m guessing you’re really tired, really unhappy and feeling absolutely terrible.’

She nodded, and brushed away a tear.

He smiled at her. ‘The good news is that we can help you. I know Dani’s already explained that we’ve put you on a drip to rehydrate you, and we can give you some medication to help with the sickness. It won’t hurt the baby and we’ll keep a very close eye on you so we can make you more comfortable.’

Dani was stunned by that smile. It lit up his face, and Alex’s blue-green eyes were amazing. When he smiled, he was probably the most gorgeous man in the entire hospital. But she damped down the attraction as soon as it flared. This was so inappropriate, it was untrue. Apart from the fact that he was her senior on the ward, she was pretty sure he didn’t like her, and she wasn’t wasting any more of her emotions on men who couldn’t or wouldn’t love her back.

But if Alex could be as charming as this with their mums, why couldn’t he be like this with the rest of the staff? He’d have everyone eating out of his hand instead of feeling as if they were treading on eggshells around him. Though he had at least agreed to meet her tomorrow and discuss the ward’s Christmas meal. Maybe she could turn that planned coffee after work into dinner, and get him to be a little more receptive to changing his attitude at work.

‘If you’re worried about anything at all, we’re all here to help,’ Alex continued. ‘The midwives here are a great bunch and really know their stuff, and the doctors are all really approachable.’

Dani stored that one away to tell them, because she was pretty sure Alex hadn’t told them that himself.

‘And remember, no question is ever silly. You won’t be the first to ask it and you won’t be the last. We’d all much rather you asked than sat there worrying,’ Dani said, and squeezed Judy’s hand briefly in reassurance. ‘I called your husband, and he’s going to bring in some clothes and toiletries for you straight after work.’

‘Thank you,’ Judy said, a tear leaking down her face.

* * *

It wasn’t the first time Alex had worked with Dani, but he’d forgotten how lovely she was with their mums—patient, kind and reassuring.

Though it wasn’t just her manner at work that attracted him. It was her energy, the brightness of her dark eyes and her smile. In another life, he would have asked her out on the first day he’d met her.

But he wasn’t in a position where he could consider starting a relationship, or even having a simple friendship with someone. Not until he’d sorted his head out.

He was going to have to be very careful. Because he had a nasty feeling that Danielle Owens could be very dangerous to his peace of mind.

Their Pregnancy Gift

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