Читать книгу The Mills & Boon Sparkling Christmas Collection - Kate Hardy - Страница 61

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

‘TOLD YOU SHE wouldn’t wear the veil.’ Laurel sidled up to Eloise as they stood outside the ceremony room, waiting for the signal to start the procession. Caitlin and Iona were fussing with Melissa’s train while the bride checked her reflection one last time and straightened the tiara on her—veil-less—head.

‘You were right,’ Eloise said, viewing the proceedings with a strange detachment. As if she were watching the action on a cinema screen, not really part of it at all.

Quite a lot of the last few days seemed like that now, actually.

‘You okay?’ Laurel asked, lowering her clipboard and looking up at her, concern in her eyes. ‘I heard... Well, there’s been a lot of talk this morning.’

‘I’m sure there has,’ Eloise replied serenely. Of course there would be. Everyone staying at Morwen Hall would have woken up to the comedy gold that was her falling out of a cupboard half naked with Noah Cross.

But at least they didn’t know the worst of her humiliation. Noah was right about that—he’d defended her from the mortification of everyone in the world knowing that she’d fallen in love with Noah and been rejected. They were the only two people in the world who knew exactly what had happened between them that week.

In a way, their fling was still a secret. Others might speculate but they’d never know the truth of it.

That mind-set was the only thing that had got her through Melissa’s snide comments and the half jokes and sniggers from the other bridesmaids as they’d got ready together that morning. The make-up artist Melissa had hired had tutted and despaired aloud at the bags under Eloise’s eyes, but some serious application of concealer and other potions from her magic bag of tricks seemed to have hidden them well enough. The icy blue-green dress had been laced tight enough to give her some semblance of curves and her red hair curled and pinned up on the back of her head, leaving her neck bare.

Eloise couldn’t help but feel as if she’d been prepared for an execution.

‘You seem very...calm,’ Laurel said. ‘Serene, even.’

Eloise gave her a small smile and raised one shoulder in a half shrug. ‘What else is there to do?’

‘I suppose.’

She’d realised after Noah left, after she’d wailed and sobbed and thrown things at the door he’d left through, that this was it. The lowest she could go. The whole world knew everything about her that she’d wanted to keep secret, and they probably all thought the worst. Either she was a fame-hungry slut seducing Noah in a cupboard, or a crazed fan lusting after him and thinking herself in love, when he was just using her for a bit of light relief.

But the thing was, neither of those were true. They were all an act—every theory, every story.

And, underneath them all, she was still Eloise Miller. Still in love with Noah Cross. Not the film star, but the man.

And no amount of humiliation could hurt as much as knowing that after today she might never see him again.

But he’d given her something, at least. She knew now what she needed to do next. He’d been right about one thing, somewhere in the middle of all his lies. She’d been hiding away at Morwen Hall for too long—too scared to go after her own dreams, to risk stepping into the spotlight and fighting for what she really wanted.

She’d fought for Noah. She might not have won him but she’d taken the risk and told him the truth—that she loved him. That was a big step.

And as soon as this wedding was over she would take another one. She’d hand in her notice at Morwen Hall and step out of hiding at last. It was time to go after all those other dreams she’d been too scared to chase—her own company, a career she could feel passionately about. Her own life, somewhere else.

She had a lot of planning to do, Eloise knew. But if she took nothing else away from her encounter with Noah Cross, she would have this: she wasn’t afraid of the spotlight any more.

How could she be? After all, it couldn’t ever get worse than this. And that thought was strangely liberating.

The string quartet at the front of the ceremony room started a new piece and Melissa gave a little squeal. ‘It’s time!’

‘Good luck,’ Laurel whispered as they lined up in their assigned order. ‘I’m going to head in and watch from the front.’

Eloise nodded to show that she’d heard her, but otherwise kept her focus on the task at hand. All she had to do was get through the rest of the day, and then she could fall apart and start again. Just another ten hours until the clock ticked past midnight and they entered a whole new year.

A fresh start. Just what she needed.

The doors opened and Eloise took her first careful, measured step, her bouquet held up at just the right height, right foot first, as instructed.

They’d opted to hold the ceremony in the old ballroom—one of the few rooms inside the hotel that retained some of the original Gothic charm. The high, peaked windows let in the winter light through thick glass, glinting off the displays of bright white flowers on every sill. The chairs the hotel staff had laid out in neat rows were now filled with the rich and famous, and at the end of the long aisle stood the celebrant, flanked by Riley, the groom, and Noah. The best man. The only man for her.

And the one man she was certain she could never have.

Eloise concentrated on her breathing as she made her way steadily down the long aisle, ignoring the whispers and muffled laughs around her. Then she heard the gasps and ‘ah’s as she reached the halfway point and knew that Melissa had made her entrance too. Nobody cared about Noah Cross’s fling any more. Melissa was the main attraction—just as she should be, and just as she’d wanted.

Eloise was more than happy to give up this spotlight to her.

As she approached the celebrant, Noah turned at last and she focused on not losing control as she saw his face. He didn’t look like his life had just been ripped apart—probably because it hadn’t.

Was it really all just an act for him? All that they’d shared, could it really have only been a means to an end? She didn’t want to believe it, but maybe she should. He was an actor. He was everything she’d always suspected he would be. Even all he’d shared about Sally—maybe it was just a sob story designed to get her into bed.

Except she’d already been in bed.

And except that it had felt real.

Eloise might not be very well acquainted with love, but now she’d felt its effects, a small part of her couldn’t give up the hope that maybe he felt it too.

Noah looked right at her and Eloise dropped her gaze. She couldn’t let him see how badly he’d hurt her. Despite everything, she still had her pride.

But then something made her glance up again to study his face, just for a moment—and she knew.

Noah Cross was a brilliant actor. But even he couldn’t out-act love.

The only problem was, love didn’t make a blind bit of difference if he wouldn’t let himself feel it. He probably didn’t even know himself.

Which meant that Eloise was no better off than she’d been when he’d left her bereft that morning. In fact, she might be worse.

Because now she knew that both of them were going to lose what might have been the most important thing in their lives.

* * *

The ceremony was excruciating. Not just watching Melissa and Riley pledge undying love, when everyone in the room knew it probably wouldn’t last five years. In fact, when he’d arrived there had been someone at the back of the room giving odds.

Noah hadn’t placed a bet. He didn’t bet on love these days.

No, the worst part had been the way Eloise wouldn’t meet his eyes—except for the one brief moment when she’d frowned at him, as if seeing something she didn’t expect. He’d wanted to ask her what she thought she’d seen, what depth she thought he’d sunk to now. But the room was full of eyes and, besides, even if they hadn’t been in the middle of a wedding, he’d given up that right when he’d walked out on her that morning.

‘Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today...’ The celebrant droned on, using the movie script version of the wedding ceremony that Noah suspected they’d paid extra for. This wasn’t a marriage, wasn’t a declaration of love. It was the ultimate act—a chance for Melissa and Riley to show the rest of the world what they didn’t have, not realising how much more some couples did have. True love. A connection that couldn’t be broken by failing box office receipts. A partner they could rely on. Someone to grow old and grey with, not plan plastic surgery with.

Someone who saw into their soul, and loved them anyway.

He bit the inside of his cheek to force himself to stop thinking about it, as he handed the rings over to Riley. What did it matter to him how shallow this whole day was? It wasn’t as if he was searching for anything deeper. He wasn’t even willing to get as far as a third date, let alone the altar. He had no moral high ground here.

Suddenly, the room erupted into applause and Noah realised he’d missed the ‘I do’s and everything that went with them. Moments later, they were all parading back out of the ballroom, ready to have photographs taken to immortalise this very special day in print and online, while the rest of the guests got to eat canapés.

He wanted to go and stand by Eloise, to tell her jokes until she looked less...absent. She looked as if she’d mentally checked out of the whole day already. Not that he could blame her. He’d heard enough of the talk that morning—and, as expected, it was all about her. No one expected anything else from him, he supposed.

No, even if she didn’t just slap him the moment he got close, he couldn’t do anything to make this day any harder for her. It just felt wrong, watching her try to fade into the background, to disappear at the celebrity wedding of the year. She belonged in the spotlight, whatever she believed. She was so vibrant, so bright, so real. That was what the world should be looking at, not the superficial and the showy.

The world should be looking at Eloise the way he was. As if she was the most important person on the planet. She deserved no less.

He wanted the world to see what real love looked like. Not fake Hollywood romance like Melissa and Riley’s. Not him and whichever woman he took out that night. Real love—the sort that had shone out of Eloise like a holy truth that morning, when she’d told him she loved him.

The world should see that. And they should see it returned. They should see the truth of his feelings—the way his soul felt lighter when she smiled at him, the way his life lit up when she was beside him, the way he could tell her anything, could admit anything and still be loved...

The way he loved her.

He loved her.

His skin felt tight, his blood too hot, as if the words might explode out of him at any moment, right there in the middle of the wedding photos.

He was so crazily in love with Eloise Miller it might have actually driven him mad. And the thought of leaving without her ever knowing that...

He knew he should. She deserved better—someone with less scar tissue, fewer war wounds from love. And, whatever he felt, he didn’t know if he could do it. Didn’t know if he could take that risk and give everything, fall that deep and risk drowning in love.

But suddenly he knew he had to try.

* * *

In all the activity of the wedding day it was easy enough for Eloise to avoid spending any quality time with Noah—especially since Laurel had kindly switched around the place settings so that she didn’t have to sit next to him at the top table. But, despite managing to keep her distance, she spent the whole day dreading what was still to come.

The moment she had to get out on the dance floor with Noah.

Had the wedding been anyone’s except Melissa’s she’d have begged for mercy from the bride, or come up with some excuse. But Eloise refused to let Melissa know just how much she didn’t want to be out there, dancing with Noah.

How was she supposed to concentrate on the steps when his arms were around her? How could she stand all those people staring at her, watching them together, thinking they already knew all their secrets?

But, one way or another, she’d have to get through it. Then tomorrow he’d be on a plane, flying away from her, and it would all be over.

She bit the inside of her cheek to stop the tears. That was supposed to be a comforting thought.

Eventually, she’d pushed her food around her plate so many times that everyone else had finished eating. She managed to excuse herself during the speeches, to go and check that the ballroom was ready for the evening reception, so she didn’t have to hear Noah wax lyrical about the sort of love he didn’t believe he was capable of. That might have driven her over the edge.

‘Nearly there,’ Laurel said as she led the guests—laughing and more than a little tipsy—through to the ballroom a short time later. ‘Just get through the dancing and it’s all over. I’ll deal with the rest from there. Okay?’

Eloise nodded. ‘Thanks.’

Laurel’s response was a fierce hug. ‘We can’t let them break us. Whatever they do. We’re stronger than that.’

‘I know,’ Eloise said. She just wished she believed it in her heart as well as in her head.

Before she had time to think of escaping, the Master of Ceremonies was announcing the first dance and Melissa and Riley took to the floor. Eloise watched them spin elegantly around the room and waited for Noah to approach, steeling herself for his touch again.

‘May I have this dance?’ She spun to find him standing behind her, his hand outstretched, and gave a sharp nod as she took it. All business—that was the key. This was part of her job...that was all.

Except...

Noah pulled her into his arms as he led her onto the dance floor and she focused on a point over his left shoulder just so she didn’t have to look into his eyes and see what was missing there. See again how wrong she’d been to think this could be anything more than a fling.

‘Eloise,’ he murmured, and she felt his voice all the way through her body. ‘Look at me. Please.’

She didn’t want to. But she couldn’t resist the need in his voice. Setting her jaw, she turned her head, just enough to meet his gaze—and promptly stumbled over her own feet at what she saw there.

Noah caught her, kept them moving, but Eloise wasn’t concentrating on the dance any longer.

She was watching his eyes, and feeling the depth of the emotion radiating from them.

‘You were right,’ he said, as the dance continued. ‘I’ve been wanting to tell you all day, almost since the moment I saw you walking down the aisle towards me, and I realised. I don’t want to be safe—not if it means I can’t have you. I want more. I want love, and I’m willing to take the risk to get it.’

They were the words she’d been waiting for, but Eloise couldn’t trust them, not yet. ‘You say the right thing for a living, Noah. Why should I believe you this time over all the things you said this morning?’

‘Because I was an idiot. Because...because I was so scared of losing you I couldn’t let myself close enough in the first place. But I realised something today. Losing you might destroy me, but no more than letting you go without even giving this a try would. I should have known last night, when I lied to that reporter about what you meant to me. I wanted to tell a different lie, you know. To tell her that it was serious, that we were together—because that would have got me the role I wanted so badly. I told you, I promised the director no flings. But if I’d told them this was a real relationship, I might have got away with it.’

‘But you didn’t,’ Eloise said, confused. Why hadn’t he? He wanted that part desperately; she knew that. So why not take the easy way out? ‘Why not?’

‘Because I was trying to protect you, crazy as that sounds. So I gave up the part for you—and I ended up hurting you even more. I’m so sorry, Eloise.’ He pulled her closer, so close that his lips could touch hers if she just moved an inch. But she stayed motionless, wanting to hear every last word he had to say. ‘But I promise you, this isn’t an act. It’s not a part I’m playing, I swear. It’s just me, putting my heart on the line for what I hope is the last time. And I’ll take that risk every single day if I have to, if it means you’ll keep on loving me as much as I love you.’

The music had stopped, she realised belatedly. They weren’t dancing any more; they were just standing in the centre of the dance floor, so wrapped up in each other she couldn’t see anything else. But she knew what was happening.

Everyone was watching them. The guests, Melissa, Laurel, Sara the journalist and her photographer...everyone. And, whatever happened next, it would be recorded for posterity on the Internet, she was sure.

And she didn’t care. Not one bit.

Because Noah was letting his walls down at last, and she was there to walk right in.

She smiled and his whole body sagged with relief as he gathered her close and kissed her, long and hard and deep.

‘This is it, though,’ she said, the moment they broke apart. ‘You can’t shut me out again, once you’ve let me in.’

‘I know. I won’t. I won’t let you down again.’ He kissed her again, swift and soft. ‘But...I can’t change who I am either. People will be watching us; you know that.’

‘Noah, they’re watching right now.’ She laughed. ‘Melissa is going to be furious.’

‘I don’t care about Melissa. Or any of them. I only care about you.’

‘And I’ll be fine.’ She smiled up at him, certainty running through her veins. ‘I wouldn’t risk it for anyone else. But for you...I’ll stand in any spotlight you want, as long as you’re at my side.’

Because this was for ever. She’d known it from the moment they’d first spent the night together, even if she hadn’t let herself admit it until later. And, even if it wasn’t, it would still be worth it.

Because this wasn’t Hollywood. This was real love.

And Eloise was going to get her happy ever after, after all.

* * *

Noah grabbed Eloise close and kissed her again, trying to put all his love, his relief and his truth into that one kiss. This was right. This was the way things were meant to be, the story he was meant to be a part of.

And thank heavens Eloise was willing to let him.

Eventually, he broke the kiss, keeping Eloise tight in his arms. Around him, the guests had broken into applause, with the odd whoop and cheer, and for once Noah thought he might be the one to blush. But when he looked down at Eloise, her cheeks were their usual pale, creamy white above her perfect smile.

‘We should probably take a bow,’ she said, amusement in her voice. ‘I mean, that was quite a show we just put on there.’

He was pretty sure she was joking, but he pulled away to stand at her side all the same, taking her hand in his and swinging them up as he led them in a bow. Laughter went up around the room, and when he stood straight again he could see Melissa glaring at them. He blew her a kiss. That should annoy her.

‘So, Noah, am I right in thinking you might like to amend your statement from last night?’ Sara asked, her phone recording as before, and her photographer already taking shots of him and Eloise.

‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I most certainly would.’

Then, turning to stare into Eloise’s loving eyes, he said the truest line of his career.

‘This isn’t a fling. It’s for ever.’

Eloise smiled. ‘And for ever starts now.’