Читать книгу The Truth About Hope - Kate James - Страница 11

CHAPTER TWO

SLEEP ELUDED HOPE that night. When she wasn’t crying, she was either staring up at the ceiling or out the window at the black velvet sky with its myriad of diamond-bright stars. By morning, her eyes were so puffy she could hardly open them, and it felt as if there was a jackhammer pounding in her head.

Despite the sleepless night, she hadn’t come up with a way to resolve her dilemma. Based on what the lawyer and Aunt Clarissa had told her, she had a week. In that time she’d have to pack whatever she was taking to California, leave everyone who mattered to her and prepare for her life to end.

Hope groaned when she saw her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She splashed cold water on her face, cleaned her teeth and ran a brush through her hair. She didn’t look much better, but it would have to do.

The long, sleepless night had driven one thing home: there was no alternative. This was her reality.

Aunt Clarissa had breakfast ready by the time Hope shuffled into the kitchen, although it was still shy of six. They ate in silence, neither of them knowing what to say.

While she played with the food on her plate, Hope tried to find the words to tell everyone, but didn’t come up with anything workable. Worst of all, she had no idea how she was going to say goodbye to Luke. She had to see him first. She knew how quickly news spread in their small community, and she didn’t want to risk having Luke hear it from someone other than her. Malcolm Rutledge, Luke’s best friend and as close to her as a brother, would be next.

Then she’d figure out the rest.

After helping Clarissa with the dishes, she pulled her backpack out from the bottom of her closet. She stuffed in a bottle of water, a notepad and pen, her mobile phone and the book she was currently reading. She put on a pair of sunglasses and set out.

But she wasn’t ready to face Luke. She followed the road until it intersected with McCullock Street. With no definite plan, she turned left and continued walking until the street started to rise. There she took a right onto Yardley Drive and walked all the way to the end. The road dead-ended on a promontory, which had been made into a park and observation area. It was the highest point in Canyon Creek, and it provided a panoramic view of the whole town, Gulch River snaking around its perimeter and, in the distance, the silvered surface of Stillhouse Hollow Lake.

It was early and the park was tranquil. It would be at least an hour before the chatter of preschoolers and the exuberance of dogs would shatter the quiet. For now, it was just her and a handful of joggers taking advantage of the relatively cool temperatures.

Hope flung her backpack on a wooden bench and sat beside it. The early-morning sun gilded homes, land, river and lake, giving it all an ethereal luminosity. She’d heard that Northern California was beautiful, but how could it compare to her hometown? She’d never been outside Texas. She’d never wanted to be.

A bubble of panic formed in her belly, and she pressed a hand over it. No, she wouldn’t let herself fall apart again. It was too important to handle her discussions today with a level head. She kept her eyes on the vista before her. The town that was her home, the town that in one short week she might never see again.

She blinked back the tears.

No! That couldn’t be. Of course she’d see the town again. She’d be back to visit her friends and, as Clarissa had pointed out, in less than a year she’d be an adult and could do as she pleased. She could come home if she wanted, and she did. Everything she knew and cared about was here. She’d just have to get through the next year and—

“Well, you’re up early.”

Twisting on the bench, Hope saw Suzie Walbridge behind her. Suzie, obviously in the middle of a run, was bent at the waist, hands on her knees, head lowered. She wore cropped, black spandex pants and a hot-pink tank top. The color of her Nikes matched her top. Her long blond hair was tied in a ponytail that hung over her head, its ends skimming the blades of grass.

Hope and Suzie were classmates, but Suzie didn’t like her. Hope suspected it might have had something to do with Luke. Suzie had never had a kind word to say to her in all the years they’d known each other. The last thing Hope wanted right now was a confrontation. She needed all her wits and energy for what lay ahead.

“Look, Suzie. It’s a big park. Can’t you find somewhere else to take a rest?”

Suzie lifted her head and flipped back her ponytail. Her vivid blue eyes drilled into Hope’s. “I could...but I don’t want to.” She straightened and tugged her water bottle out of its holster on her belt and took a long drink. “This is where I always take my break. I don’t plan to change my routine for you.”

Hope shrugged and tried to ignore her.

The sun had crept up in the sky. The gold sheen it had cast over land and buildings had faded. Focusing on the silver-blue surface of the lake in the distance, Hope willed herself to stay calm. She was doing a pretty good job until Suzie stepped into her line of vision.

“Go away, Suzie, and leave me alone.”

Suzie placed her hands on her trim hips and bent backward from her waist, moving her torso in small circles. “You want to be alone, huh? Shouldn’t be too hard. Who’d want to hang around with you anyway?”

Hope had just about had enough. She tried for calm one last time. “Can we not do this today?”

“Why not?” Suzie narrowed her eyes. “Hmm...you know, you don’t look so good this morning. Did yummy Luke see you like this and tell you to get yourself together or he’d break up with you?”

Hope shot to her feet, clenching her fists at her sides. All the years of conflict with Suzie converged in that single moment, bound up with Hope’s anguish at losing her mother and her fear of losing everything she knew. “This has nothing to do with Luke!” She bent over to lift up her pack, but Suzie pulled it out of her reach.

“I bet it does,” Suzie taunted.

Hope felt the pressure build in her chest at the thought of leaving him. It was for only a year, she tried to convince herself, but her thin thread of control finally snapped. “Leave me alone,” she repeated. “In a week, I’ll have left Canyon Creek.”

She unclenched her fists and went very still. Had she really said that? Had she blurted out to Suzie, of all people, that she was leaving?

“Where are you going?” Suzie asked. “Like a vacation?”

Hope’s body remained rigid but her mind worked furiously. What should she say? How should she handle this so Suzie wouldn’t see her as a helpless victim? She couldn’t bear to let her think that. “It’s not a vacation. I’m moving,” she said. “I...” She was still searching desperately for a way out. It was bad enough that everyone already felt sorry for her because of her father and now her mother. She couldn’t, wouldn’t, let Suzie know the depth of her misery. “I’m going to live with my father.”

“Your father?”

Hope nodded. “Yes. My father. In San Jose.”

“You’re going? Just like that?”

Hope had to save face. She couldn’t bear the idea of explaining to Suzie that she didn’t have a choice. “This is my big chance,” she improvised. “You can’t imagine how rich my father is. He could buy this whole town, if he wanted to!” Suzie’s obvious glee was replaced by...what? Envy? It didn’t matter. Hope was on a roll. “Me? I’m tired of just hanging around here.” She made a sweeping motion with her arm toward the town spread out below the precipice. “I’m going to be rich, like my father. Do you realize how great San Jose is?” She’d checked it out on the internet; she’d been able to see her father’s place on Google Earth. “My father has a huge house,” she boasted.

Suzie stared at her, speechless.

Hope pushed her sunglasses higher on her nose and fixed what she considered a gloating smile on her face.

Suzie opened her mouth, then closed it again. Finally, she mumbled, “Good for you” and jogged away.

Well, she’d done it. This wasn’t the way Hope had wanted to communicate things, but at least no one would feel sorry for her—and there wasn’t much she could do about it now. Not only was Suzie unkind, she was an incorrigible gossip. Their conversation would be town fodder in no time.

Then the realization struck her. She hadn’t told Luke yet! “Oh, my gosh,” she exclaimed. She had to speak with Luke.

Hope grabbed her pack and raced across the field, down Yardley Drive and toward Luke’s house. While she ran, she tried to figure out what to say. She didn’t like being helpless. She didn’t like not being in control. She didn’t want him feeling sorry for her.

She came to a sudden stop and tried to catch her breath.

What if he wanted to go with her? They’d talked about where they’d go to college. Luke had insisted that he’d go wherever she did.

Would he do that? Go to San Jose with her? Her mood brightened. He was the one person who wouldn’t desert her. Then she wouldn’t be all alone.

But that was selfish. His family was struggling to make ends meet since his father had left them. That was a common bond they shared—the fact that they each had only a mother. But he had a younger brother, Travis. Luke worked after school, on weekends and all through the summer to help out. Travis wasn’t old enough to have a job; he did his share by looking after the chickens and goats they raised. How would his family get by if Luke left? Besides, how could he afford to live in San Jose and finish school? No, it was out of the question.

Hope loved Mrs. Carter almost as much as her own mother. Yes, Luke would be going to college in another year, but Hope couldn’t be responsible for his leaving before that, making life even harder for his mom and younger brother.

The more Hope thought about it, the more she realized how easy it had been to let Suzie think it was her own decision. That she wasn’t a victim, and she needn’t be pitied.

That would be her story. Now that she’d told Suzie, everyone would know what she’d said anyway. Why not just let them believe it?

Suzie had probably told lots of people by now. No longer having to race against the clock, Hope walked resolutely to Luke’s house.

She found him outside, working in the chicken coop. He was hunched over, his back to her, collecting eggs. He was so tall, so strong, things that had attracted her when they’d already been best friends. “Hey,” she called out.

Luke jerked upright, banging his head on the two-by-four beam at the top of the opening. He grunted loudly. Rubbing his head, he backed out of the coop and straightened. His look of mild irritation turned to pleasure when he saw her. “Hey to you, too, Sprite,” he responded, using his nickname for her. He hurried over and brushed his lips lightly across hers. “Here, I’ll take that.” He reached for her backpack.

She moved the strap farther up her shoulder. “No. It’s okay.”

His eyes narrowed briefly, and then the smile was back on his face. He gently set the bucket of eggs down on the grass and slung an arm around her shoulders. Since his arm nestled her tightly against his side, it would’ve been awkward to resist, so she let him lead her. And it felt so good. She wished she could turn into his arms and he’d tell her everything would be okay. She resisted the temptation. It wasn’t going to happen. Nothing was going to be okay ever again, she thought as they walked along.

Hope could guess where they were going. To the swimming pond on the Hawkins ranch abutting the Carter property. All the kids were welcome to use it. The large rock at the edge of the pond was one of their favorite spots. That was where they’d first kissed. Where they’d first said they loved each other. It was a special, magical place for her, and she knew it was for Luke, too.

She stopped abruptly. If that was where she told him, the magic would be gone. It didn’t matter to her, or so she tried to convince herself. But was it fair to ruin it for Luke? On the other hand, maybe that was fitting. Maybe it had to happen there. Where it all started would be where it ended, too. Where she’d shatter their dreams.

They walked in silence, the only sounds the crunching of the dry grass beneath their feet, the whinny of a horse in the distance and the mournful cry of a dove gliding overhead.

When they reached the rock by the cattail-edged blue-brown water, Luke dropped his arm. As Hope slipped off her backpack and climbed up, Luke took a small bag of crumbled bread from his pocket, which he habitually kept there for the chickens, and held it out to her. She grabbed a handful and began tossing it into the pond. They watched the koi leap and dance as they fed.

Luke nudged Hope with his shoulder. “So, are you going to tell me what’s on your mind?”

It was now or never. “I’ve been thinking... With Mom gone...it changes things.”

“Oh, Hope...”

He reached for her, but she pulled away. There was no easy way to do it. She just had to get it out. “I’m leaving Canyon Creek.”

“What?” The word exploded from Luke’s mouth. “What do you mean you’re leaving?”

She inched farther away from him. She couldn’t go through with it if she could feel him next to her, touching her. His nearness made her resolve waver. Her heart was racing, and there was a terrible constriction in her chest that made breathing almost impossible, but she tried to keep her voice unaffected. “I’m going to live with my father in California.”

Luke jumped off the rock. Bracing his arms on either side of her legs, he caged her in. “Your father? The man you can’t remember? The man who practically destroyed this town?”

“He’s still my father.”

Luke shook his head, but kept his eyes, intense and angry, on hers. “What kind of sick joke is this?”

Hope broke eye contact, focusing on a spot over his left shoulder. She couldn’t continue, if she had to keep looking into his furious gaze. “It’s not a joke.”

“You’re not making sense. Why would you do that?”

“Because he asked.”

Luke turned, picked up a large stone and heaved it into the water, where it landed with a splash. He watched the ripples spread before turning back. His voice was more controlled when he spoke again. “Hope, what’s this all about? You don’t want to live with your father.”

He knew her too well. She nearly shrieked that, no, she didn’t want to. She almost begged him to make it all go away. Instead, she nodded slowly. “Yes. It is what I want.”

“It makes no sense. Why?”

She slid off the rock and threw up her arms. “I’m tired of living in a place that’s so small everyone knows your business. I’m tired of not being able to buy a new pair of sneakers or go on a school trip because I can’t afford it.” More calmly now, and with full honesty, she added, “And I can’t impose on Aunt Clarissa. I can’t expect her to move here and give up her life to take care of me.”

“She’d do it. She loves you. Or you can live with us. Mom won’t mind. Travis would love it.”

“No, Luke. I’m leaving,” she said emphatically. And with finality.