Читать книгу Ultimate Hard Bastards - The Truth About the Toughest Men in the World - Kate Kray - Страница 24

I have no regrets in my life except that so many people have lost their lives. It’s just a shame that peace didn’t happen in Northern Ireland 30 years ago. The peace that we have now and the talks that are presently taking place should have happened in 1969. Then there wouldn’t be over 3,000 people dead today, both Protestant and Catholic. That’s the only regret I have in the role that I played.

In September 1999, I was released from the Maze prison. I’d served five years of a sixteen-year sentence. Now I’m mellowing back into the community. Things have changed since I’ve been away – for the better. At last there is peace, but not for me.

When I was inside, I let my guard down. When I came out of prison I thought I was safe to go to a UB40 concert with my wife – I was wrong.

Now I don’t go anywhere without a minder. I have to live in a house that is protected like a fortress; all steel doors and security cameras. I have men sitting at the bottom of my street day and night to watch me and my family. Every day I wake up expecting something to happen and not knowing if it’s going to be my last day on earth.

The only thing that gave me a wee bit of breathing space was the Shared Government, but look what happened to that.

I don’t fear for myself, I fear for my family. I believe that it’s me with the death sentence hanging over my head. If I thought any different, I would have been up and away years ago.

First and foremost, I have no fear of the IRA or anyone else. If I did, I would be living in England. But I’m not, I’m still living in Belfast. I live 50 yards from a peace line that proves I have no fear of them.

The security forces nicknamed me Johnny ‘Mad Dog’ Adair. In their eyes, I’d killed over 40 people. They built up this myth that I was a Mad Dog who would kill anyone. People expect me to be a fanatical, violent, rabid dog. It’s not the case – I’m Johnny, and deep down inside I’m a good guy. But, do me a wrong and I’ll bring it to your own back yard. You’ll go to bed at night and barricade your front door in case Johnny ‘Mad Dog’ Adair comes looking for you.