Читать книгу Hot & Bothered - Kate Hoffmann, Kate Hoffmann - Страница 7

A BUMBLEBEE BUZZED in lazy circles around a potted jasmine, the sound breaking the silence of the oppressive midday heat. A few steps away on the wide veranda of the house on Charles Street, the Throckmorton sisters stirred the heavy afternoon air with rice-paper fans. A silver tray rested on the table between their two wicker chairs, holding a pitcher of iced tea and two sweaty glasses.

“We’re doomed,” Eulalie Throckmorton said, her fan fluttering like the wings of a hummingbird.

Eudora Throckmorton took in the morose expression on her twin sister’s face and sighed. “It’s just the heat, Lalie. When I’m drenched in perspiration, I don’t feel like chatting. Neither do the rest of the ladies of the Thursday Ladies’ Bridge and Luncheon Club.”

“But it was as quiet as a Quaker wake.”

Eudora shifted in her chair. “If you’d just agree to install air-conditionin’ in the house, then we wouldn’t have this problem. Grace Rose Alston just had air-conditionin’ put in her house and she says it’s been a godsend with this mid-summer heat.”

“We don’t need air-conditionin’, Dora. We have this lovely veranda. Mama and Papa lived here for over fifty years and they never had air-conditionin’. Besides, we’d just shut ourselves up in the house and never see our neighbors strolling by. Out here, we’re part of the world. Good gracious, if I wanted to live in the cool and dark, I’d run down to Wilbur Varner’s funeral home, buy myself a nice coffin and move in next to Mama and Papa at the cemetery.”

“There’s no need to get all dramatic about it,” Eudora replied. “I swear, you’ve always had a way of pilin’ on the agony. You should have taken up a career on the stage. You could have given that Driving Miss Daisy lady a run for her money.”

“And you should be sellin’ gadgets on the Home Shopping Network, with your fondness for new-fangled inventions. Need I remind you that we have an electric juicer sittin’ in our kitchen that you’ve never even used?”

“Air-conditionin’ is not a new-fangled invention,” Eudora countered. “Some would argue it’s a necessity in the heat of a South Carolina summer. And we are approachin’ an age where personal comfort is all we can look forward to on a good day.”

“Let’s be honest, Dora. It isn’t our lack of a temperature-controlled environment that will spell the end of our beloved bridge club. It’s the shortage of decent gossip. There’s just nothin’ left to talk about in this backwater town!”

The Thursday Ladies’ Bridge and Luncheon Club was nearly a century old. Founded by Eulalie and Eudora’s grandmother and a group of her friends, members were all prominent socialites in the town of Belfort, South Carolina. The club was a Belfort institution that had weathered two World Wars, Prohibition, the Great Depression and an attempted seditious coup by several members who wanted to replace the bridge games with gin rummy. But through it all, the ladies had always shared lively conversation among the sixteen members. Eulalie might call it gossip, but Eudora preferred to think of it as…illuminating discourse.

“Maybe we should consider bringin’ in some new members,” Eudora suggested. “Some ladies who might have some interestin’ topics to share. I met a lovely widow at the Winn-Dixie who just moved from New York City.”

“The ladies would never tolerate a Yankee.” Eulalie shook her head. “Besides, we’ve always had sixteen members and until one of our ladies goes to her great reward, we can’t bring in a new member. It’s in our bylaws, and you should know our bylaws since you’ve served as president twice!”

“According to Charlotte Villiers, she herself is circlin’ the drain as we speak,” Eudora muttered. “If I have to listen to one more recitation of her medical woes, I do believe I might just get great-granddaddy’s dueling pistol from the gun cabinet and kill her myself.”

Eulalie chuckled, her mood lifting at her sister’s audacious remarks. Still, this was serious business. If the bridge club struggled under her watch as president, the ladies might find some way to put the blame on her. “It wouldn’t have to be anything major,” she murmured. “Just somethin’ juicy. Perhaps a nice political scandal would spice things up. Bribery, blackmail, corruption. Or even better, a scandal of the—” she lowered her voice to a whisper “—private kind, if you catch my meanin’. You know, I always believed Desmond Whitley was a homosexual. Maybe we could convince him that this would be a nice time to come out of the woodshed.”

“That’s closet, sister. Come out of the closet.”

“Closet, woodshed. Now that would be something worth talking about.”

“I like Desmond,” Eudora said. “And to tell the honest truth, I don’t much care if he is a homosexual. He does lovely flower arrangements for the fall bazaar at the church and he embroidered that tablecloth for the Friends of the Library auction. And he’s a very fine dancer.”

“All right,” Eulalie grumbled. “Forget Desmond. Besides, he’s sixty-two. We need to find someone younger. All the better, someone who has a spotless reputation, someone who is a stranger to scandal.” She paused. “Someone who actually might participate in passionate…unbridled…slightly kinky…” She paused again, this time fanning herself frantically. “Well, I’m sure you understand what I’m gettin’ at.”

“Sex,” Eudora said plainly. “You’re speakin’ of sex, sister. Good gracious, I may be eighty-three years old, but I’m a modern woman and I’m not afraid to talk about these matters out loud. Even though we’re both considered maiden ladies, you and I have some experience with men. It’s no use pretendin’ we’ve never even seen the one-eyed monster.”

Eulalie nearly choked on her iced tea and a fierce blush warmed her cheeks. She snatched up a linen napkin and pressed it to her lips, then cleared her throat. “There is no need for such plain speakin’, Eudora.”

Her sister shrugged. “You blush when I use proper medical terminology and you blush when I choose a euphemism.”

“The point I’m makin’ is that despite our experience, we’re still innocent to the ways of the modern world. Things have changed a bit since we were young women. Back then, a boy couldn’t lay a hand on a girl’s bosom without a proposal of marriage. It takes a lot more to get folks talkin’ these days.”

“This is silly, Lalie. We can’t make a scandal happen. They just do.”

A slow smile broke across Eulalie’s face. “But we can help it along a bit.”

“And how will you accomplish that?”

“Rumor, innuendo, baseless accusations. I’ll think of somethin’.”

“And just who will you get to participate in your little scandal?”

Eulalie slowly fanned herself. “I don’t know. Someone with an upstandin’ reputation.” She stared at the house across the street, its wide verandas lined with hanging baskets of fuchsias. “That will take careful consideration. But one thing I can guarantee you, sister. There’ll be a lot more to talk about in Belfort after I’m done stirrin’ the pot. And our precious bridge club will be safe for another hundred years.”