Читать книгу Plain Jane and Doctor Dad - Kate Little, Kate Little - Страница 9

As Nurse Maura Chambers left Scott’s office, she knew she’d never see him again. But he didn’t say “Good luck” or even “Good-bye.” He merely shuffled papers around on his desk as she slipped through the doorway, ignoring her, as if she had already vanished from his sight.

She stepped from the quiet chamber into the busy hospital corridor, resisting the urge to give his door one last, resounding slam. What good would that do her now? It would only give the major-league gossips on staff more to talk about. Hadn’t they already gotten enough mileage out of her failed romance? Anyway, in a matter of days Scott would be gone for good, starting a new job and a new life hundreds of miles away. And she’d be free of him. Almost.

Maura took a deep breath and started down the crowded hallway, willing herself to look as busy as everyone around her. She kept her gaze downcast, avoiding eye contact with anyone who might stop her to ask why she looked so upset. She didn’t feel like talking about her problems now. Not to anyone.

As much as she’d dreaded facing Scott Walker again, she’d been obligated to disclose her secret. After all, he bore his fair share of responsibility. But it only took a moment for Maura to realize Scott didn’t see the matter that way. Not at all. His reaction had been more than disappointing. More than cold or unsympathetic. His attitude and succinct advice had made her sick to her stomach.

Well, what did you really expect? she asked herself. Haven’t you known for weeks now what kind of man he is? It had been clear to her ever since the night Scott had announced, out of the blue, that he was leaving Chicago General. Leaving the city entirely for a new job as a hospital administrator in Minneapolis. Why would he be any different now?

Looking back, she felt angry all over again to see his calculated tactics so clearly. How he had chosen a fancy restaurant for their talk, a place so exclusive and formal he could almost be assured she wouldn’t make a scene. As the maître d’ had led them to their secluded, candle-lit table, Maura had thought Scott might even be planning to propose.

He had a little speech planned for her, all right, but it wasn’t about marriage. Quite the opposite. Getting to know her the past six months had been great. Really fun, he’d said in a sympathetic tone. But the problem was, he’d be moving to Minnesota in a few weeks. He’d found a great job. Just what he’d been hoping for. She wouldn’t want to hold him back, would she? Besides, they both knew this was a casual relationship. No strings. No expectations.

Then, ignoring her stunned expression, he’d patted her hand. Long-distance things never seemed to work out, he’d added, so it was best for both of them to end it now. To make a clean break. In a few weeks, he was sure, she’d thank him for making it so easy. She’d be happy she was free to meet someone new.

He hadn’t waited for her answer. She was far too shocked at the time to make any reply at all.

It was right at that moment that she suddenly saw Scott differently, saw his true nature clearly. How had she been so blind? Was he that adept at misleading people? While she thought they were involved in a serious relationship—one that could lead to marriage—he’d merely been using her.

Maura felt a bitter taste at the memory. She touched her fingers to her eyes. She was crying. It seemed impossible that she had any tears left after the way she’d cried that night. She stopped walking and leaned against the wall of the corridor. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she reached into her pocket for a tissue.

“Maura?” She felt a touch on her shoulder and turned to see Doug Connelly’s tall, commanding form beside her. “Are you all right?” he asked kindly.

“Uh…sure. I’ve just got something in my eye. A bit of dust or something,” Maura mumbled. She pressed the tissue to her eye. “It will go away in a second.”

“Here, let me see,” Doug offered.

“No, really…it’s okay,” Maura murmured. But before she could resist, he took her chin in his gentle grasp and turned her face up to the light.

His touch was firm but light, as she expected. He was a pediatric cardiologist, adept at putting his small patients at ease. His questioning gaze considered her troubled expression and she was sure he could see now that she’d lied to him. She was upset and crying, pure and simple.

“It looks as if it might be gone,” he said quietly. His hand dropped away, but he continued to gaze down at her, his warm, amber eyes filled with concern.

They stood in a section of the hallway that was mostly glass, offering a courtyard view filled with trees, flowers and benches. Visitors and patients used it mainly, but some of the staff were outside, too, stealing a few minutes from their demanding jobs.

“What a day,” Doug said. “Sometimes in this city, you feel like winter will never end. Then all of a sudden—bam. You look up and it’s spring.”

“Yes, spring did come suddenly this year.” Maura looked out at the trees and flowers in full bloom. She’d been so depressed and distracted the past few weeks, she’d hardly noticed the changes.

“Let’s get some fresh air. You look like you could use it.” Doug took her arm without waiting for her reply.

“Thanks, but I really have to get back to the floor.” Maura glanced at her watch, trying to excuse herself.

But Doug wouldn’t let her leave his side so easily. “You can take a break for a few minutes, Maura. We’ll cut across the courtyard and you can catch the elevators on the other side. That’s closer to your station, anyway.”

Before Maura knew it, they were outside, walking down a tree-lined path. She felt the sunshine on her skin and inhaled the soft spring air. Doug had been right: she felt better almost instantly.

She glanced at his rugged profile and tall, lean form. He walked with his hands tucked into the pockets of his blue lab coat, his ever-present stethoscope slung around his neck, clearly enjoying a break in his hectic schedule. She had worked with many keenly intelligent doctors and many dedicated ones, as well, but she’d rarely met a physician who possessed both qualities in such abundance. Doug was more than dedicated. He was known as a bit of a workaholic, but he was an excellent physician. Maura was sure she knew none better. His powers of concentration and focus seemed evident even now, in his thoughtful expression and the firm set of his handsome features.

They strolled along in silence, side by side, but it was a comfortable silence for Maura. She had first come to know Doug as a colleague, when she’d been caring for one of his patients. After that, they’d quickly become friends. Especially after learning that Doug and Scott had gone to college together and had once been good friends. They’d been out of touch for years and had met again recently, when Scott came to work at Chicago General.

She often wondered how much Doug knew about her relationship with Scott and how close the two men were now. Scott always claimed he liked Doug, but often made cutting remarks about him. Maura could see Scott was simply jealous. He had once hoped to be a doctor, too, but had dropped out of medical school his first year. The same school from which Doug had graduated with honors.

While she wouldn’t consider Doug a close friend, she had always felt a subtle but very strong connection to him. From the start they’d been able to talk to each other in an open, honest way. Which was quite unusual for Maura. She had always been shy with men, especially one so good-looking. But she rarely felt awkward with him. Something about him just put her at ease.

“Sit a minute,” Doug suggested as they came to an empty bench.

“Sure.” Maura shrugged and sat down. The bench was in the shade, facing a small fountain surrounded by flowers. The sound of the rippling water soothed her frazzled nerves, as did Doug’s quiet, solid presence.

“Maura, what is it? What’s troubling you?” Doug asked finally.

She turned to look at him. “What do you mean?”

“I know you were crying back there. And you look pale as a sheet.”

Maura felt suddenly self-conscious under his scrutiny. She pushed a strand of wavy hair away from her face.

“I’m fine…I mean, I feel a little under the weather today. Just tired, I guess.”

“Yes, you do look tired. You work too hard.”

“Probably.” She knew it was more like crying too hard—and sleeping too little.

Doug was quiet again for a moment. Then he said, “Is this about Scott? Are you upset because he’s leaving on Friday?”

“No. Not at all.” She shook her head.

That was what everyone must think, she realized. That she was still yearning after a man who had treated her so badly. “Relieved is more like it,” she added. “I wish he was already gone.”

“He didn’t deserve you.” Doug’s tone was firm and deep.

“That’s nice of you to say,” Maura replied quietly.

“I wasn’t saying it to be nice. It’s the truth.” He paused, as if uncertain whether to continue. Then he said, “I know it feels awful, right now. But give it time. Before you know it, you’ll forget all about him.” He leaned toward her. “Maybe you should take some time off, get away for a while,” he suggested.

“Yes, maybe I should,” she replied vaguely. Last night she had thought about visiting her sister on the West Coast, the only real family she had left. But she knew very well that no matter how fast or how far she ran, she could never escape this problem.

She turned and looked at him and could see he was sincerely worried about her. The look in his eye, the sheer kindness and consideration, was her undoing. She had been on an emotional roller coaster the past twenty-four hours, and having Doug, of all people, look at her that way made her feel as if she was about to burst into tears again.

She felt the moisture well up in her eyes and dropped her face into her hands. Then she felt Doug’s strong arm circle her shoulders as hot tears streamed down her cheeks. Doug pulled her closer, his grip strong and warm around her, his chest firm under her cheek. She was crying hard, sobbing uncontrollably, unable to stop herself.

“It’s okay,” she heard him murmur against her hair.

She tried to speak and felt a giant lump in her throat again. No, it’s not okay, she wanted to say. It’s anything but.

“Just cry if you need to,” Doug whispered.

“Oh, Doug…I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to do….”

Her voice trailed off in another wave of tears and she pressed her face against his hard chest.

She felt Doug’s strong hand stroking her hair. She felt the warmth of his body and breathed in the scent of his skin. With her eyes closed and her cheek nestled in the crook of his shoulder, she felt safe and protected. For the briefest moment, Maura allowed herself the lovely fantasy that she could stay this way forever. How much easier everything would be.

But that was impossible. She had to pull herself together. There was no one to help her out of this mess. Doug might offer his strong shoulder to cry on, but he didn’t have a white charger standing by for a quick getaway. He was only trying to be a good friend.

She took a deep breath and forced herself to move away from his embrace.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you by talking about Scott,” Doug apologized.

“It wasn’t that.” She wiped her eyes and took a shaky breath. She felt him watching her, waiting for her to speak.

Finally, she said, “It’s just that I have this problem….” She paused again and staring straight ahead, she admitted, “I’m pregnant.”

She wasn’t sure why she’d told him. The words spoken aloud sounded so final. So overwhelming. Doug looked shocked for an instant. Then he quickly hid his reaction, she noticed. He was silent for a long moment, and she watched as his pensive expression grew harsher. Angrier.

“With Scott’s child,” he said.

Though it wasn’t a question, she nodded and looked away again.

He leaned forward and pushed his hand through his thick hair. “Does he know?”

“I told him a few minutes ago. In his office. That’s why I looked upset in the hall,” she admitted.

“He didn’t take the news very well, I guess,” Doug replied sternly.

“No. He didn’t.”

The ugly scene replayed in her mind, and suddenly she couldn’t bear talking about it anymore.

“Listen, thanks for talking to me,” she said as she stood to go. “But I’d better get back to work. I’ve already been gone way too long.”

“I understand.” He nodded and came to his feet. “Maybe I’ll see you later, when I do rounds.”

“Sure. And I’m sorry for crying all over you.” He must see her as some kind of flailing, helpless female, she thought, when in fact, she was just the opposite.

“Don’t even think about it, Maura.” His tone was soft and sincere. Maura met his gaze briefly, then turned on her way.

She hurried across the courtyard, then entered the hospital. To avoid the long wait for the elevator, she walked up three flights to the pediatrics department. Her supervisor, Gloria Jones, greeted her with a questioning look but didn’t ask why she was so late returning from her break. There was plenty of work waiting, and Maura dug in, eager to focus on her patients instead of her problems.

As the afternoon passed, her thoughts returned to her disturbing confrontation with Scott—and her conversation with Dr. Connelly. She’d never had such a personal conversation with Doug before. But now she was thankful that, purely by chance, he’d been there for her at such an awful moment. Crying on his shoulder hadn’t solved anything, but it had made her feel worlds better, lending her the boost she needed to carry on.

Some of the staff disliked the handsome pediatrician. They found him aloof and distant. But Maura had never felt that way. He was sometimes distracted by his work, and even brooding. But a more dedicated doctor would be hard to find.

She had never imagined he would also be such a dedicated friend, the kind you could really count on when things went haywire. But whether you liked Doug Connelly or not, he was clearly a man of strong character, and Maura knew without question that her secret was safe.

Her workday wore on, thankfully free of pressing emergencies, as she had a pounding headache that wasn’t assuaged by the pills she’d taken earlier. Luckily, a night-shift nurse came in early, allowing Maura to go home.

She lived in a comfortable family neighborhood a short distance from the hospital. She’d been lucky to find a reasonably priced two-bedroom apartment in a renovated brownstone. Her living room even had a working fireplace, which she really appreciated during the long Chicago winters.

The apartment was the first she’d lived in without a roommate, and Maura had loved decorating it to her own taste. She liked antiques, but since she could only afford a few small pieces, she used her knack for finding interesting items that weren’t genuine antiques but still quaint and unique. The honey-tone wood floors were covered by area rugs, and the walls were warm shades of apricot and creamy white. Her home was her haven, her retreat from her hectic, demanding job. It was a private place where she could rest and recharge. Where she could hide away and sort out her thoughts when life tossed her some seemingly impossible crisis. Which was just the way she felt tonight as she slipped her key into the front door and went inside.

She dropped her mail on a table in the foyer without even glancing at it, then went straight to the bedroom and took a long, hot shower. Even though it was still early, she put on her nightgown and robe, then lay down on her bed, hoping to sleep. But worries immediately crowded her mind.

For some reason, instead of thinking about Scott, she thought about Doug, recalling the first time they’d met, months ago. She had recently started at the hospital and had been working the night shift. She was assigned to one of his patients, a four-year-old girl brought in with advanced pneumonia and serious heart complications. Purely by chance in the small hours of the night she’d discovered that the child was in serious trouble, in danger of heart failure.

When Doug found her with the patient minutes later, she was giving CPR as she waited for the crash cart and respiratory equipment to be hooked up. As Doug took charge, he barely said a personal word to her, but the respectful, grateful look in his eyes said it all.

That night she’d hardly been aware of his compelling good looks, or the smothering shyness that typically fell over her. Working through the crisis with him, she felt totally in synch, and the event somehow forged a mysterious but deep bond between them. She had never felt quite that way about anyone—not a coworker or even a romantic partner. But she had felt it that night with Doug, and forever after.

They had worked together for several hours to pull the little girl through. Even after Maura’s regular shift was done, she stayed on, unwilling to leave until she was sure the child was going to survive. She knew that some people thought it unwise to get so involved with each patient’s recovery. They advised compassion tempered by a cooler, more distant attitude to avoid the burnout that was so common among overworked nurses.

But Maura wasn’t made that way. She hadn’t become a pediatric nurse in order to be distant and detached from the children who needed her. She knew from the first that Doug was the same. Perhaps even more intensely involved with his young patients than she.

She later learned that the little girl’s family didn’t have much insurance and Doug had not even sent them a bill. While it was highly uncommon for a specialist of Doug’s caliber to forego payment, she soon learned that it wasn’t uncommon at all for him to work that way.

When morning came and the crisis had passed, she and Doug sat together outside on a bench in the same courtyard where they had talked today. They celebrated their victory, joking and laughing over cups of steaming coffee and sticky donuts. It was late January and the weather was frigid, yet she could still recall feeling elated by the cold air and early-morning light and the shared success in saving a child’s life.

It was then Doug learned she was dating Scott Walker, and Maura learned Doug was Scott’s old pal from college. There was something in Doug’s reaction to the news that made Maura think he was disappointed to hear she was seeing someone. But the moment passed and later she decided she’d imagined the brief flicker of interest.

On her side Maura would never deny that she found Doug very attractive. But at that time she had felt so committed to Scott, she’d never once thought of Doug in a romantic way.

Besides, Maura reflected, even if she had been free, Doug was not her type at all. For one thing, she was looking for a man who would have time in his life for a wife and family. Doug was far too focused on his work to make family life, or even a romantic relationship, a priority.

And he could be temperamental at times. She had to acknowledge that his smiles and bright moods were rare. He seemed most often to be shadowed by some deep, mysterious unhappiness, and too often she found a dark, brooding look in his eyes when he thought no one was watching him.

What brought on that somber mood of his? Was it the pressures of his work? Maura had always suspected it was something more. Some deep hurt in his past, some painful loss. Doug had never spoken to her about his past, but she did know from Scott that he’d gone through a difficult divorce a few years back.

As the months passed, she and Doug always had so much to say to each other whenever they met. She’d run into him on her floor while he did rounds, in the hallways, in the cafeteria. He would ask her advice about his cases, and she enjoyed helping him figure out some knotty problem in a diagnosis or discuss a curious turn in a patient’s condition.

It was unusual for a doctor of his standing to take a nurse into his confidence in that way, and she was secretly pleased, even proud, of the way he seemed to value her observations. But they didn’t only talk about patients. They talked about all kinds of things, movies, books, traveling to exotic places, which they both planned on doing someday when they weren’t working so hard.

But Maura had to acknowledge that, for all their interesting conversations, she still knew very little about him. The staff at Chicago General was always brimming with gossip, and while she avoided discussing other people’s lives, she had overheard a few basic facts about Doug. He had been at the hospital since his residency and at one time had been married. He was divorced for almost two years, but no one seemed to know what had gone wrong. His ex-wife was now married to a prominent plastic surgeon, and some said she’d hurt Doug badly with an affair.

Even though she didn’t have romantic designs on him herself, Maura wondered why he wasn’t in a new relationship, or even married again, by now. But her knowledgeable co-workers answered that question, too. Many hopeful women had pursued the handsome doctor, but the relationship had always ended unhappily. Despite his giving, caring nature as a physician, it was reported that Dr. Douglas Connelly was distant and even difficult as a romantic partner. An emotional Mount Everest with wickedly icy heights to scale.

Maura suspected his single-minded focus on his work had been the real problem. She knew it would be one for her. Some people didn’t need a home life and family. Maybe Doug was that type, she concluded. But a home and family was something Maura had always longed for, because she’d known so little security growing up.

When she’d met Scott, back in November, she’d believed at last she’d found a man who shared her values and outlook and wanted the same kind of life that she did.

Her thoughts drifted as sleep overcame her weary mind. How devastating it had been to discover that Scott had only pretended to be that kind of man, saying just what she’d wanted to hear in order to get what he’d wanted from her.

And by the time she saw him clearly, it was too late.