Читать книгу Billionaire's Baby Bind - Katherine Garbera - Страница 9

Two

“Not bad for a city boy,” Amberley told him as they allowed their horses to walk and cool down after their run. “I’m sorry I was judgmental about your skills.”

Will couldn’t help but like his riding guide. She was blunt and honest and it was refreshing. At work everyone treated him like he was the walking wounded and, of course, at home his nanny only discussed Faye. Rightly so. But Amberley didn’t. She’d been treating him like a regular guy.

He hadn’t realized how much he needed to get away and be with people who didn’t know the personal details of his life. There was something freeing about being with Amberley on this sunny October afternoon. He felt for a moment like his old self. Before Lucy.

He felt a pang. Shook his head to shove the feeling from his mind.

“I didn’t realize you were judging me,” he said.

She tipped her cowboy hat back on her head and turned to gaze at him with a sardonic look. Her face was in shadows beneath the straw cowboy hat, but he could read her body language. She was sassy and funny, this cowgirl.

Distracting.

“I was judging you and it wasn’t fair. It’s just the last time I was around city folk was when I worked on this dude ranch in Tyler and a lot of them were...well, not very good riders. So I lumped you in with them. I should have known Clay wouldn’t have told me to give you free rein if you didn’t know what you were doing,” she said. She held the reins loosely in one hand, and pushed the brim of her hat back on her forehead with the other.

Her eyes were a deep brown that reminded him of the color of his mocha in the morning. They were pretty and direct and he was almost certain when she was angry they’d show her temper. Will wondered how they’d look when she made love.

Then he shook his head.

This was the first time lust had come on so strongly since Lucy’s death. And it took him by surprise.

He shook his head again. “To be fair, I’m not sure he knew my skill level. I think Max asked him to make sure I get the full Texas experience.”

“The full Texas? That’s funny. Well, this might be about it,” she said, gesturing to the pastures.

He skimmed his gaze over the landscape and then settled back in the saddle. It reminded him of some of the places he’d visited growing up. His family had some property in Montana and there was a similar feeling of freedom from the real world here.

“I’m sure riding across the open plain isn’t the only thing that’s unique to Texas,” he said. “You mentioned Tyler—did you just visit that dude ranch?”

“Nah,” she said, looking away from him. But before she did he noticed a hint of sadness in her eyes.

“I worked there when I was in high school in the summers. Clay offered me this job after...well, when I was ready to leave my family’s ranch. My daddy said I was losing myself by mothering my brothers and sisters and he wanted me to have a chance to have my own life. I’m pretty good with horses. My daddy has a nice-sized ranch in Tyler. What about you? Where are you from? The Northwest, right?”

“Yes. Seattle area. Bellevue, actually. It’s a suburb,” he said. He’d never wanted to live anywhere else growing up. He loved the mountains and his waterfront property, but after Lucy...well, he’d been struggling to make Bellevue feel like home again.

“I’ve heard of it. I think Bill Gates lives there.”

“We’re not neighbors,” Will said with a laugh.

She shook her head and laughed. “I’ll jot that down. You ready for a ride back or you want to see some more?”

“What’s left to see?”

She rocked back in her saddle, shifting to extend her arm. “Out that way is the south pasture—there’s a creek that runs through it. Down that way is the—”

“Let me guess—north pasture.”

“Ha. I was going to say castration shed. We do that in the spring,” she said.

He shook his head. “I’ll skip that.”

“Guys always say that.”

She was teasing him and he observed that her entire countenance had changed. Her relaxed smile made him realize how full and lush her mouth was, and the way she tipped her head to the side, waiting for his response, made him want to do something impulsive.

Like lean over and kiss her.

He slammed the door on that idea and sat back in his saddle to be a little farther away from her. There was just something about her easy smile and the wind stirring around them. And he was on horseback in Texas, so far away from his normal world, that he wanted to pretend he was someone different. A man who wasn’t so tired from not sleeping and hoping he was making the right choices all the time.

He knew that nothing would come of kissing Amberley. He wasn’t here to hook up. He was here to do a job. Besides that, he wasn’t ready for anything else. He knew that. But for a moment, he wished he were.

“Back to the ranch.”

She didn’t move, but just stared at him—there was a closed expression on her face now. “Sorry, sir, didn’t mean to be inappropriate. Follow me. You want to run back or walk?”

“Amberley—”

“I was out of line. I guess I forgot you were a guest for a second.”

“Who did you think I was?” he asked.

“Just a guy,” she said, turning her horse and making a clicking sound. Then she took off back the way they’d come.

* * *

He galloped after her and reached over to take her reins, drawing both of their rides to a stop.

She took back her reins and gave him a good hard glare. “Don’t do that again.”

“Well, I couldn’t figure out another way to stop you,” he yelled. He wasn’t sure what he’d stepped into, but he could tell something had changed and he was pretty damn sure he was the cause.

“Why would you want to?” she asked. “I’m pretty sure you want to get back to the ranch and I’m taking you there.”

“Don’t act that way,” he said. “I’m sorry. My life is complicated.”

She nodded and then looked away. “Everyone’s life is complicated. We’re not simple hicks out here on the ranch.”

He hadn’t meant to hurt or offend her.

And all of a sudden he felt ancient. Not twenty-eight. Not like a new father should feel, but like Methuselah. And he hated that. He’d always been...a different man. His father had said he was lucky and someday his luck would wear thin. But he knew his father wouldn’t rejoice in the way his luck had run out. Losing Lucy had changed him, and some people would say not for the better.

“I’m sorry,” he said. The words sounded rusty and forced but they weren’t. She didn’t deserve to be treated the way he’d treated her, because he wanted her and he knew he wasn’t going to do anything about it. He wasn’t about to invite another person into the chaos that his life was right now.

“What for?”

“That sounded...jerky, didn’t it? Like I’m trying to imply that your life isn’t complicated,” he said. “That’s not at all what I meant. I just meant I’m a mess and this ride was nice and you are wonderful...”

He trailed off. What else could he say? He thought she was cute. Maybe he’d like to kiss her, if he wasn’t so stuck in that morass of guilt and grief. And then more guilt because his grief was starting to wane. And it’s not like Lucy would have expected him to grieve forever, but moving on was like saying goodbye again.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” she said.

“What?”

“Saying I’m wonderful. I mean, I have faults like everyone else,” she said. Her words were light and obviously meant to give him a way back from the dark place he’d wondered into. But in her eyes he saw weariness and he knew that she wasn’t as...well, undamaged as he had believed she was.

“You seem like it from here,” he said at last.

“Then I better keep up the illusion.”

But now that she’d brought it up he was trying to see what there was to the young horsewoman. She seemed uncomplicated. He thought about how when he was her age, life had been pretty damned sweet.

“Tell me,” he prompted.

“Tell you what?” she asked.

“Something that isn’t wonderful about you,” he said.

“Ah, well, I think that would be easy enough. I have a short temper. I believe I gave you a glimpse of that a moment ago.”

“You sure did,” he said with a laugh. “But that could also be called spunk. I like feisty women.”

“You do?” she asked, then shook her head. “What about you? What’s one of your faults?”

“Hell, I’m not even sure where to begin,” he said. And he knew that he didn’t want to open that can of worms. His life was littered with regrets lately. Only spending time with Faye or sitting in the dark working on the computer tracking down code seemed to get him out of his own head space.

“I’m not as clever as I once believed I was.”

She started laughing. “Well, I think that’s the same for all of us. Race you back to the barn?”

“Sure, but since I haven’t ridden in a while I think I deserve a handicap.”

“Really?” she asked. “That is such a load of crap. If I hadn’t seen you ride out here I might have fallen for it.”

“It was worth a try,” he said.

The fall breeze blew, stirring the air, and a strand of her red hair slipped from her braid and brushed against her cheek. He leaned forward in his saddle and gripped the reins to keep from reaching out and touching her.

He’d just shoved a big wedge between them. A smart man would leave it in place. A smart man would remember that Amberley wasn’t a woman to mess with and he had never been the kind of man who screwed around with anyone.

But he didn’t feel smart.

He felt lonely and like it had been too long since he’d been able to breathe and not catch the faint scent of hospital disinfectant. He wanted to sit here until night fell and then maybe he’d think about heading back to the life he had. He wanted...

Something he wasn’t in a position to take.

He knew that.

“Hey, Will?”

He looked up, realizing that she’d been staring at him the entire time.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t sweat it. I’ve got a beef with city dudes and it’s clear that you have something with your baby’s mama to deal with. You’re hot and the way you ride a horse makes me feel things I’d rather not admit to, but that’s it. You’re on the Flying E to work and as a guest and I’m going to treat you like that. So don’t think...”

“What do you feel?” he asked.

Will knew he felt reckless and dangerous and he wasn’t going to stop now. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to pull her off the horse and into his arms and see where that led.

“Like I said, I’m not going there.”

He shifted in the saddle and dismounted his horse, dropping the reins on the ground to check that the horse would stay, and it did.

Will walked over to her and stood there next to her horse, looking up at her. He was closer now, and he could see her eyes, and he wasn’t sure what he read in her expression. He was going to tell himself it was desire and need. The same things he was feeling, but he was afraid he might be projecting.

“Come on down here,” he said. “Just for this afternoon let’s pretend we aren’t those people. I’m not a guest and you’re not a ranch hand. We’re just a guy and his girl and we’ve got this beautiful afternoon to spend together.”

* * *

Never in her life had Amberley wanted to get off a horse more. But her gut said no. That this wasn’t going to be sweet or uncomplicated. And the last time she’d been sweet-talked by a guy it hadn’t ended well. It didn’t matter that she was older and wiser now. She didn’t feel as if she was either.

Riding hadn’t helped to chase away her demons back then, when she’d found herself pregnant and alone at eighteen, and it wasn’t helping now. He stood there in his clothes, not fake-cowboy duded up the way some city guys dressed when they came to Texas, and to be fair he looked like he fit in. He wasn’t chasing a Wild West fantasy, he was here to do a job.

And her job was to make him feel comfortable.

What could be more comfortable than hanging out together?

Dumb.

Stupid.

His hair was thick and wavy and he wasn’t wearing a hat, so she could see the way he’d tousled it when he’d run his fingers through it. She wasn’t getting off her horse. She was going to be sensible.

Please, Amberley, be sensible.

But she never had been.

She suspected it was because she’d had to be so responsible so young. She’d always had to take care of her younger brothers and sisters. But that was in Tyler, and she was away from there now, with no one to worry about but herself.

And this was safe. He just wanted to spend the afternoon together.

One afternoon.

Surely even she could manage that without having it go to hell.

She shifted and started to turn to swing her leg over the saddle and dismount, then she saw the smile on his face and the look of relief.

He was unsure.

Just like her.

Except he wasn’t like her. He had ties. And she hadn’t asked about them earlier. There was so much she didn’t know. Where was his baby’s mother? That baby was pretty damn young to be living with a nanny and her father. Was there any way this could be just an afternoon?

If it was...then the mom didn’t matter... Unless they were still together. That would be—

“Hey, before we do this. Where is your baby’s mother? I don’t want to pry but you’re not still with her, right?” she asked.

He stepped back—stumbled was more like it—and she suddenly wished she’d kept her mouth shut.

There was no denying the way all the color left his face, or how he turned away from her and cursed under his breath.

“No,” he said, walking back over to his horse and taking his saddle with much skill and finesse.

“We’re not still together. She’s dead.” He made a clicking sound and took off across the field as if the hounds of hell were chasing him, and Amberley guessed maybe they were.

She stood there, a wave of sadness rolling over her. A part of her had died when she’d miscarried. Seeing Will...had made her realize that they were two sides of the same coin. She had no baby and no family and he had a baby and no wife or mother for the child. He was trying to deal with the loss the same way she had been.

She knew that riding helped at times but she’d never been able to outrun the pain. Those memories and the truth of her life were always waiting when she’d gotten off the horse.

She clicked her mare and followed Will close enough to call out if he took a path that wasn’t safe, but he had watched their trail on the way out and he made no mistakes on the way back.

She slowed her own horse to a walk as Will entered the stable area and decided that maybe she should just let him go. Give him some space to dismount and leave before she entered the barn again.

She saw the ring that she’d set up earlier to practice barrel racing and rode over that way. Montgomery and she had been partners for the last year or so. And when the Flying E could spare her she took the horse and went and competed in rodeos.