Читать книгу Pushing The Limits - Katherine Garbera - Страница 11

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HEMI WATCHED THE moonlight reflecting first off the lake, then off the woman who was swimming in it. She’d been breathtaking in just her underwear. She was complex, and nothing had helped him understand her better. He had pushed a little too hard because that was his personality. He lived right at the edge, always testing the boundaries to get where he needed to go, and he wasn’t about to stop now.

He stripped down to his boxers and jumped into the water after her. It was cold at first, making goose bumps spread over his body. The water was refreshingly brisk, but his body adjusted to it as he swam. Jessie stayed just out of reach, diving under the surface and swimming, finally surfacing and treading water a few feet from him. He trod water next to her for a moment and then shifted to float on his back.

It reminded him of his space walks. How he’d floated there, outside the International Space Station, looking for something in the inky darkness of the cosmos that he couldn’t find. Still hadn’t found.

He stared up at the constellations, naming them all in his head, identifying the stars and acknowledging to himself that he still didn’t know what it was he reached for. Why he was never close to finding it.

“What’s your fear, Hemi? What is it that makes you keep going, after your near miss?” she asked.

He shrugged. He didn’t mind asking for her darkest secrets but sharing his own was something else. How could he put into words the emptiness that had been inside him for so long? That would make him seem weak, and he was Thor, mighty, unvanquished, or at least that was how his astronaut brothers and sisters saw him.

“Hemi?” she asked again, her voice hypnotic. As he had always imagined the call of the sirens that led sailors astray.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I keep going up into space and trying to beat records. I train and look for new missions that challenge me and force me to do things others haven’t achieved but there is still—” He turned his head and looked over at her. She continued to tread water next to him.

Her long blond hair looked dark plastered against her skull. Some tendrils clung to her bare shoulders, one looping over the strap of her bra. The thin flesh-colored fabric was transparent now that it was wet and he noticed that her nipples were hard. He was trying to be cool and not focus on the fact that she was nearly naked and less than an arm’s length away from him.

He struggled to continue their conversation rather than swim closer to pull her into his arms. He wanted to feel their limbs entwined and the warmth of her body against his.

“What?” she asked.

“Something empty inside,” he said at last. Damn, he’d meant to keep that to himself, but there it was. The ugly truth he hid from the world—and sometimes from himself. “I don’t know what it will take to fill it.”

He’d probably have been smarter not to admit this to an instructor who would be evaluating him.

“That’s what makes you dare,” she said at last, flipping her body to float on her back next to him, her arms spread wide at her sides. “I have the same emptiness inside of me.”

“You do?” he asked, his voice deeper and huskier. Somehow, her admission turned him on even more than he already was. She was blunt at times and that honesty of hers was a powerful aphrodisiac. Her hair floated around her head and he couldn’t help glancing again at nipples, which were still visible though the cotton of her bra, and looking even harder.

He reached for her, water droplets cascading off his skin, but at the last second he let his arm drop. She was talking to him. Sharing with him as a friend. He couldn’t turn this sexual.

But his raging hard-on was making it difficult for him to pay attention to anything other than how she looked.

Maybe she was a siren.

That would explain the spell she had cast over him.

“Everyone does. Most try to ignore it with routines and by filling their lives with stuff, but some people can’t ignore it.”

“Like whatever made you sad earlier?”

She went still, her hands no longer sculling the water.

“Yes. Like that.”

“What was it?”

“My climbing partner and fiancé, Alexi. He wanted things...that even he was afraid to admit.”

“Like you? Are you afraid to admit what you want?” Hemi asked. Again, so much easier to turn the spotlight on her.

“Like me,” she admitted. “Which is why I’m here trying to teach you and the other candidates all I know about surviving in hostile environments. Maybe that is what I need to finally feel some peace.”

“I hope it works for you,” he said.

“You do?” she asked.

“Yes. I like you, Jessie. I want you to be happy.”

“You barely know me.”

“I know, right? But there it is. When you left the party I was like...well, a typical guy and I thought screw it. If Jessie doesn’t want me then I don’t want her.”

She drifted, putting a few feet between them, then cupped her hand on the surface. He had a second to recognize what she was doing before she pushed her hand through the water and a huge splash hit him in the face.

“Screw you, too, Thor,” she said, but there was a hint of laughter in her voice.

When he brushed the droplets from his face and looked around for her, she was gone.

The water was still except for the ripples caused by the breeze, and he floated on his back to give his legs a rest. He waited. No matter how at home she felt in the water, sooner or later she’d have to come up for air.

She did—behind him. He heard her surface a second before she once again arched a powerful spray of water at him.

He rolled over and used his water polo experience to do an American crawl toward her. Keeping his head above the surface, he saw the shock in her eyes as he approached. God, he wanted her.

He’d known it earlier.

Hell, he hadn’t followed her out of the party and to the gym and then taken her to the lake to cement a friendship. The desire that rocked through him was hot and hard. It made everything else fade away.

He stopped just as their bodies met, put his arm around her waist and used his legs to keep them above the water. Her arms snaked around his neck and her nearly naked breasts pressed against his chest.

His heart beat so loudly he was sure she could hear it, and his blood flowed heavily in his veins.

Her nipples were hard, poking into his chest. He tightened his grip, holding her to him as he looked into her eyes. They weren’t lost or lonely right now, and if he had one goal it was to make her forget whatever her pain was.

“You got me, Hemi,” she said, rubbing her fingers over his light stubble and then higher, tracing the birthmark around his eye.

She made him proud of the mark, though there were times growing up when he’d wished he didn’t have it.

“Do I?” he asked. “I think I might be able to hold you for this moment, but I’m far from catching you, Jess.”

“Jess? I don’t believe I gave you permission to call me that,” she said.

“Lady, we’re nearly naked in a lake together. I’m pretty sure you’ve given me permission,” he said.

“For what?” she asked, her tone challenging.

What was going on in that head of hers? She’d said earlier that she was lonely, admitted to what he had already guessed, but now she didn’t seem lonely. It was as if being in the lake had grounded her.

The way that he felt when he was in zero-g, even in the simulator. It made everything clearer when he couldn’t control even the simplest things. Was it the same for her?

“Another kiss. That’s the only thing I want from you right now,” he said. Her lips were full and wet from the lake and the water.

“One more kiss?” she asked. “I doubt that will satisfy either of us.”

“Agreed,” he said. “But it’s a start.”

She spread her fingers against the side of his face and ran her hand over his scalp until she held the back of his head. She drew him forward and then scissored her legs to lift herself out of the water. Their lips met and an arch of pure electricity flashed between them.

His cock hardened further and nudged her thighs. His arm around her waist tightened, and for a second, he stopped treading water.

Then he tucked her against his side, lifted his mouth from hers and side-stroked them both to shallower water where he could put his feet down on the muddy bottom of the lake. The water came up to her shoulders.

Safe.

They were as safe as he could make them in this moment. Her strong legs slipped around his and he felt like he’d found something in Jessie that he hadn’t been aware he’d been searching for.

It was the last thought he had before he lowered his head, brushing his lips over hers again.

A jolt of adrenaline and lust went through him again and he tangled one hand in her wet hair, pulling her head back so he had a better angle for the kiss. He thrust his tongue into her mouth, feeling her tongue brush over his. Her hand on his head tightened, the other stroked his chest. She squeezed his pectoral muscle before letting her hand drift to his hip. She reached behind him, cupping his butt and drawing him closer to her.

He pulled his head from hers and looked down at her. Her eyes were half-closed, her lips swollen and parted. Her hair drifted out behind her on the surface of the water. And he felt something inside him change.

He couldn’t identify it but a part of him knew this kiss was different. Jessie was different. He held her with one arm around her waist and lifted her slightly until her breasts were revealed.

He caught his breath, watching her as she put her hands on his shoulders and then arched in his arms.

Her breasts were thrust upward and forward to him, and he groaned, lowering his head toward one of her nipples. She lifted one hand, pushing it through his wet hair as he licked her nipple and suckled at it through the flimsy bra.

Her legs came up around his waist, and she used her strength to hold herself wrapped around him.

The tip of his erection rubbed against her center and he heard her breath catch. She moaned, and the birds on the shore answered the sound. They were one with each other and the lake.

She slipped her arms around his neck, pulling close so that he couldn’t tell where his body ended and hers began. She awakened a hunger in him for so much more than just kisses. But he never wanted to lift his mouth from hers.

He caressed her long back. She had a lean torso with a nipped-in waist. He squeezed her hips and slid his hands lower to cradle her behind. To be honest, her figure was the first thing he’d noticed about her at the party. Her ass was world-class and he’d wanted to cup her cheeks and hold her against his body. And now he could.

His tongue tangled with hers and she sucked on it before leaning back, loosening her arms so she could rest her forehead against his. Her eyes were closed and each of her exhalations brushed over his jaw and neck. She returned her hands to his shoulders as she opened her eyes and he felt her gaze searching his.

It was as if they were made for each other. She was taller than most women and fit him better.

He liked the feeling of her pressed against him. He ran his fingers along the small of her back, saw the gooseflesh spread on her arms and felt her nipples tighten even more against his chest.

She made him forget everything else.

He shifted his hips and rubbed himself against her. The tip of his cock started to slide inside of her. He pulled his hips back before he went any further. Damn.

He didn’t want to have to think, because she felt so good in his arms, but he lifted his head before the push of lust drove him any further. He was afraid to speak and break the magic of this moment. Of this night.

In that moment he had his answer. He had to talk to her. This woman wasn’t his for just one night. They were both on the Bar T Ranch working at the Cronus facility for the next six weeks.

He couldn’t screw her and then pretend nothing had happened, because she was different. She made him different.

He put his forehead on hers and closed his eyes, thinking of anything that would cool the lust raging through him. He couldn’t just be; he needed to be better.

“Are you on the Pill?” he asked.

He was healthy as a horse and tested often for everything under the sun. He was pretty sure that Jessie was healthy, as well, so at issue for him was the fact that he’d be leaving for a long-term mission in space. He didn’t want to leave behind any surprises. Not because he got carried away in the lake with Jessie.

“What?”

“Are you on the Pill?” he asked.

She wedged her arm between them and he let her go. His body was cooling down rapidly now that she was a few feet from him.

“I am. But damn, how did that escalate so quickly?” she asked. “I’m not... I can’t... I... Fuck. I’m sorry, Hemi. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I’m not really myself.”

He nodded.

Be cool.

But he didn’t feel cool. He was on fire for her. Obviously her reaction was helping to give him some perspective, but another part of him wondered why something that had felt so damned right to him was making her run away.

She did that a lot, he realized.

She functioned best by retreating when she didn’t want to deal with something—or, more specifically, someone.

Him.

“It’s okay,” he said.

“Thank you,” she said. “I know it’s not okay and I turned you on and then—”

“We turned each other on, Jessie. I don’t know how things got that hot that quickly, but they did. No denying it.”

She nibbled on her lower lip and he closed his eyes. Watching her was only keeping him in a state of semi-arousal. He turned and waded toward the dock. He heard her swimming behind him but didn’t allow himself to look at her until he’d forced his wet body into the gym pants he’d discarded minutes ago.

He could tell she was behind him, getting dressed, and only when he heard her sit down did he turn to face her. She had retreated inside of herself again and he knew he had to let her go.

She stood up as he reached for his shoes, and their hands bumped. They were so close to each other, he couldn’t help himself. He put his hands on her jaw, feeling the wet strands of her hair against the backs. He traced the shell of her ear as he leaned in and kissed her. Not with raging passion but with affection. He kissed her with all the longing in his soul because walking away from her wouldn’t be as easy as he knew it should be.

They’d just met, but it didn’t feel like that. He wanted to say he knew her but he knew only what she’d let him see—and probably a few things she hadn’t meant to reveal.

“I’m sorry things got carried away.”

“I’m not. I thought...well, I’m not ready for this, Hemi. I have a class to teach and you’re going to be one of my students and...”

“You don’t need one of your pupils all hot for teacher. I get it.”

She put her hands on his chest and then slid them around his waist, hugging him close and resting her head right over his heart. He struggled to keep his heartbeat from going wild. He didn’t want to reveal that holding her made him hot.

“I’m sorry.”

She pulled away from him and picked up her shoes, walking up the dock and toward the instructors’ cabins. He followed her. His father had drilled it into him that a gentleman always saw a lady home.

He kept his distance, though, because he knew she wanted to be alone.

He’d let her go. He was here for a reason. His sole determination and focus should be on getting onto the crew of the first Cronus mission.

But as she climbed the two steps to the porch of her cabin and unlocked the door, she glanced back over her shoulder at him. He stood there. Waiting.

There wasn’t anything for either of them to say.

He didn’t understand, couldn’t explain it, but swimming tonight had been the closest thing he’d felt to getting into a rocket and being shot into space.

A woman had made him feel that.

A woman who wanted to keep her distance from him.

“Good night.”

“Good night, Hemi.”

She went inside and he waited until he saw a light before turning back toward his own quarters. He glanced up at the moon, seeing how it followed him all the way back to his room. He wanted to blame his lack of sleep on the brightness of the moon, but he knew it was Jessie who kept him awake.