Читать книгу Katherine Mansfield, The Woman Behind The Books (Including Letters, Journals, Essays & Articles) - Katherine Mansfield - Страница 83
“9 p.m. Sunday Night. May 17th. Full Moon.
Оглавление“Now to plan it.
“O, Kathleen, do not weave any more of these fearful meshes — for you have been so loathsomely unwise. Do take wisdom from all that you have and must still suffer. I really know that you can’t stay as you are now. Be good — for the love of God — be good — and brave, and do tell the truth more and live a better life — I am tired of all this deceit — and the moon still shines — and the stars are still there — You’d better go and see the doctor tomorrow about your heart — and then try to solve all the silly drivelling problems. Go anywhere. Don’t stay here — accept work — fight against people. As it is, with a rapidity unimaginable, you are going to the Devil — Pull Up Now Yourself. It is really most extraordinary that I should feel so confident of dying of heart failure — and entirely my Mother’s fault.”
Rapidly she was freeing herself from “the self-forged chains.” She was coming to doubt what had been gospel to her for three years; and in her very doubting, she was finding her release:
