Читать книгу A Baby Between Friends - Kathie DeNosky - Страница 8

Sitting beside the lazy little creek after finishing their lunch, Summer glanced over at Ryder’s handsome profile. He really was one of the best-looking men she had ever known and she had a hard time believing it took her this long to realize it. Studying his features, she found herself hoping that if he agreed to help her, their child would look like him. But neither of them had brought up the subject of her request and the longer it took for them to start the discussion, the more uncertain she became. What if he refused to be the sperm donor?

He had all the attributes she wanted for her child and asking any of the other men she knew wasn’t even a consideration. She didn’t know them well enough to determine if they had the traits she was looking for, and truthfully, she didn’t want to get that well acquainted with them. She didn’t trust any man the way she trusted Ryder and couldn’t imagine anyone else as her baby’s father.

“Have you given any more thought to helping me?” she finally asked.

“I really haven’t thought about much of anything else,” he admitted, turning to face her. “It’s not every day that out of the clear blue sky a woman asks me to help her get pregnant.” His expression gave nothing away and she had no indication of what he might be thinking.

“As I told you last night, you wouldn’t be obligated in any way,” she said, hoping to reassure him. “I’ll be responsible for everything. You wouldn’t even have to acknowledge that you were the donor.”

“In other words, you don’t want me to be involved at all in my own kid’s life,” he said flatly. Shaking his head, he added, “You of all people should know that’s not the way I roll, darlin’.”

The steely determination she heard in his voice surprised her. “I…well…I hadn’t thought you would want—”

He held up his hand. “Let’s back up. We can cover what would happen after you became pregnant a little later on. Right now, I have a few things I’d like to know.”

“Of course,” she said pleasantly. She was confident she could answer all of his questions. “What would you like to ask first?”

Ryder’s piercing green gaze held her captive. “Why me?”

“You have all the qualities that I would want passed on to my child,” she said, not having to think about her answer. “You’re healthy, physically fit, as well as physically appealing. You’re also honest, loyal and other than my late father, you’re the most trustworthy man I’ve ever known.”

“You make me sound like a prize stud someone would want to cover their herd of mares,” he said, shaking his head in obvious disbelief. “How long have you been thinking about this?”

“About six months,” she admitted. Things weren’t going the way she had hoped. He didn’t sound as if he was all that receptive to the idea. “But I didn’t seriously think of approaching you until a couple of weeks ago.”

Nodding as if he accepted her answer, Ryder stared off into space for a moment before he asked, “Last night you told me you didn’t want to wait to see if you change your mind about meeting a man you might want to settle down with.”

“That’s right.” She shook her head. “I don’t have any intention of ever getting married.”

“Why?”

“As you know, I’m pretty independent,” she said, reciting the answer she had rehearsed. “I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want to be dependent on a man or give anyone that kind of control over me.”

He frowned. “Where did you get the idea that whoever you met would want to control you?” Shaking his head, he propped his forearms on his bent knees. “Most men I know admire independence in a woman. Me included.”

“Maybe I should rephrase that,” she said, thinking quickly. “I don’t want to give that kind of emotional control to anyone.”

Staring at her for several long moments, Ryder asked, “Who was the bastard?”

His question startled her. “I…don’t know what you mean.”

“Someone had to have hurt you pretty bad to make you feel this way,” he insisted. “Who was he?”

Ryder’s assessment was hitting too close to the truth and she had to force herself to remain calm. “There wasn’t anyone,” she lied. “I’ve just never believed that I need a man in my life to validate my worth as a woman nor do I want to depend on him for my happiness.”

“Okay,” he said slowly. She could tell he wasn’t buying her explanation, but before she had the chance to say more, he asked, “Why now? You’re only twenty-five. It’s not like your biological clock is ticking or the alarm is about to go off.”

She took a deep breath. Her answer this time wasn’t a lie or a half-truth. “I want to be part of a family again, Ryder. I want someone to love and be loved by in return.”

“Ah, darlin’,” he said, moving to wrap his strong arms around her. Pulling her to him, he gave her a comforting hug. “I know how alone you’ve been since your parents passed away, but do you really think having a baby will be the cure for your loneliness?”

“I really do,” she said, feeling a bit confused by the fact that Ryder’s embrace wasn’t the least bit intimidating. Any other man giving her a hug would have sent her into a panic attack.