Читать книгу Tempted By The Texan - Kathie DeNosky - Страница 9
ОглавлениеJaron felt as if he’d been struck by a bolt of lightning when Mariah touched his face with her delicate hand. He might have had a chance to harden his resolve and not let things go too far between them if she hadn’t admitted that she had always needed him. But her softly spoken words and the feel of her touch sent a flash fire streaking through his veins and made thinking clearly all but impossible. He’d wanted her for years, and not allowing himself to hold her, kiss her, had been his own personal hell.
He knew it was wrong—that he should walk away and leave her alone. But when he looked down at the woman in his arms, he knew in his heart that wasn’t going to happen. He needed Mariah more than he needed his next breath, needed to lose himself in her softness and forget for one night that she could never be his.
When she pressed a kiss to the exposed skin at the open collar of his shirt, then looked up at him, the desire in her brilliant green eyes robbed him of breath. She for damned sure wasn’t helping him win the battle over the hormones racing through his veins at the speed of light.
“Jaron, I know you need me just as much as I need you.”
There was no sense in denying it. Hell, he was certain she could feel the evidence pressed against her. But he had to give her one last chance to save them both from doing something he knew as surely as he knew his own name they would both end up regretting with the morning light.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked. “Once that line is crossed, there’s no going back, Mariah.”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life,” she said without hesitation. “I don’t like the way things have been between us recently, and I don’t think you do, either.”
“I’m not promising anything beyond tonight,” he warned her.
She shook her head. “I’m not asking for more.”
She might not be asking, but he knew Mariah well enough to know she wasn’t a one-night stand kind of woman. If she slept with a man, she would expect it to be the start of a relationship. Unfortunately, he had wanted her for longer than he cared to remember and turning back now just wasn’t an option.
Groaning, he buried his face in her silky dark brown hair and tried to remind himself of all the reasons making love to Mariah would be a bad idea. For the life of him, he couldn’t remember a single one. A man had his limits, and Jaron knew that he had reached the end of the line with his.
For the past several years he’d fought against giving in to the attraction between them. But now that he’d finally held her soft body to his and tasted her sweetness, he couldn’t seem to stop himself. Maybe it was due to the years of denial or more likely the loneliness that had settled in when he watched his brothers with their families—knowing that due to the fear he had of turning out to be like his father he would never allow himself to have a family of his own. He wasn’t entirely sure what the reason was, and it really didn’t matter. He’d deal with the guilt and regret in the morning. Tonight he was going to forget about the problems making love to her would cause and love Mariah as if there was no tomorrow.
“Let’s go to my room,” he suggested, taking her hand in his to lead her down the hall.
As they entered the master suite, Jaron flipped the light switch to turn on the bedside lamps, casting a soft glow over the king-size bed. Closing the door behind them, he immediately took Mariah in his arms and lowered his head to rain kisses along her cheek, down the column of her neck to her collarbone.
“Are you protected, Mariah?” he asked, removing her black leather jacket, then kissing the satiny skin exposed by the dropped shoulder of her slinky red dress.
“I... Um, no,” she said, sounding delightfully breathless.
“Don’t worry.” He continued to nip and taste her. “I’ll take care of it.”
When he raised his head, the desire clouding her pretty green eyes rendered him speechless. She was without a doubt the most beautiful, exciting woman he had ever known, and unless he missed his guess, she didn’t have a clue how hot and sexy she was.
“There’s probably...something you should...know,” she said, sounding a little unsure.
“Have you changed your mind?” he asked, torn between knowing it would be in the best interest of both of them if she had and at the same time dreading her response.
“No, I haven’t changed my mind.” There wasn’t a moment’s hesitation in her answer and, God help him, he was thankful.
“Whatever it is, it can wait until later,” he said, bending to remove his boots.
“But I think it’s something you’ll probably want to know,” she said, sounding a little uncertain.
Straightening, he gave her a quick kiss. “Do you want to make love with me, Mariah?” When she nodded, he shook his head. “That’s all I need to know.”
He didn’t want to hear confessions about other men she’d been with. All he wanted to do was focus on bringing her the most pleasure she had ever experienced in any man’s arms.
As he kissed his way across her collarbone, she reached up to push her dress down her arms. Stopping her, he shook his head as he lightly skimmed his hands across her bare shoulders then down her arms, taking the stretchy fabric as he went. “I’ve been thinking about peeling this little number off you since I watched you walk into the Broken Spoke.”
When he lowered the knit dress to her waist, then slid it over her shapely hips and down her long legs to lie in a pool around her shiny black high heels, his heart stuttered at the sight of her. Her strapless black lacy bra and matching panties barely covered her feminine secrets and sent his blood pressure up into stroke range. Put a pair of those fancy wings on her back and Mariah could easily model for that famous lingerie company every man with a pulse found so fascinating.
“You’re gorgeous,” he said, feeling as if all of the oxygen had been sucked from the room as he squatted down to remove her shoes.
“Thank you.” When he straightened, she stepped forward to reach for the snaps on his chambray shirt. “But you’re a little overdressed for this, don’t you think, cowboy?”
As he watched, Mariah unfastened his shirt, pushed it from his shoulders and tossed it aside to place her hands on his bare chest. His pulse sped up and it felt as though he’d been branded where her soft palms rested. How many times had he speculated how her delicate hands would feel when she touched him like this? Nothing he could have imagined came close to the excitement racing through his veins at that moment.
“I knew your body would be beautiful,” she said as she traced the valley between his pectoral muscles with her index finger.
“Looks can be deceiving,” he said, thankful that she couldn’t see the ugly imperfections he’d spent most of his life trying to hide.
Before she could ask him what he meant, Jaron unbuckled his belt, released the snap at the top of his jeans, then gingerly eased the zipper down over his persistent erection. Shoving his jeans and boxer briefs to his ankles, he quickly stepped out of them and kicked them to the side.
He silently watched as Mariah’s gaze traveled the length of his body. He could tell she was trying not to be conspicuous. But when she noticed his arousal, her eyes widened a moment before she lifted them to meet his.
“I’m just a man, darlin’,” he said, reaching behind her to unfasten her bra. “You aren’t afraid of me, are you?”
“N-no,” she murmured. “Being afraid of you has never crossed my mind.”
“Good.” Tossing the scrap of black lace to the pile of clothes on the floor, he kissed her deeply before cupping her breasts in his palms as he stared into her pretty eyes. “I promise we’ll be perfect together, Mariah.”
“I—I know,” she said, shivering when he kissed each one of the taut peaks, then moved his hands to slip his thumbs into the waistband of her panties.
He slowly lowered them over her slender hips and down her thighs, and when he tossed them aside he stepped back to appreciate her gorgeous body. Everything about her was perfect, and he felt humbled at the knowledge that a woman as stunning as Mariah would want to be with him.
“You’re amazing,” he said, his voice sounding a lot like a rusty hinge.
When he took her in his arms, the feel of her soft, feminine body pressed to his much harder one sent a shock wave the entire length of him. He had never allowed himself to speculate what it would be like to hold her nude body to his—to have their bare skin touching. But he knew for certain that he never could have imagined anything as erotic or sensual as what he was experiencing at that moment.
When she sagged against him, Jaron swung her up into his arms and carried her over to place her in the middle of his king-size bed. Her long dark brown hair spread across his pillow and her lithe body lying on the black satin sheets was an image he knew he would never forget.
Opening the bedside table’s drawer, he removed a small foil packet and, tucking it under his pillow, stretched out beside her to take her in his arms. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” he asked, not really expecting an answer.
“Not as beautiful as you are,” she said, raising her arms to his shoulders. From the look on her face, he knew the moment she felt the scars on his shoulder that he normally kept covered. “Are these from participating in the rough stock events for so many years?”
He didn’t want to lie to her, but he didn’t want to explain, either. “Everyone who competes in rodeo has a few,” he said, making sure he kept his answer vague. He did have a couple of scars from riding the rough stock, just not the ones under her fingertips.
To distract her from asking more about them, he fused his mouth with hers and kissed her with all of the need he had denied for almost as long as he had known her. Sweet and soft, when her lips melded with his, Jaron forgot about anything but the woman in his arms and the heat inside him that had built to a fever pitch. He had wanted Mariah for years and he found it damned near impossible to think about anything but burying himself so deep inside her that they lost sight of where he ended and she began.
Unable to wait any longer, he kissed his way down to her collarbone as he moved his hand along her side to her hip and beyond. Caressing her satin skin, he parted her to stroke the soft folds with tender care. The fire inside him threatened to burn out of control at her readiness for him. She needed him as much as he needed her.
“Mariah, I promise next time we’ll go slower,” he said, reaching for the packet under his pillow. “But right now, I need to be inside you.”
“I need that...too,” she said, her tone breathless.
He quickly arranged their protection and nudged her knees apart to rise over her. When she raised her arms to his shoulders and closed her eyes, he leaned down for a brief kiss.
“Open your eyes, Mariah,” he commanded.
When she did, he captured her gaze with his as he guided himself to her. The desire and the depth of emotion he saw in her rapt expression were humbling, and unable to wait any longer, he slowly, gently moved forward.
The mind-blowing tightness as he carefully entered her robbed him of breath. It felt as if she had never...
He immediately froze. “Mariah...are you a virgin?” he asked hesitantly. He hadn’t even considered the possibility that she’d never been with a man. But he was for damned sure thinking about it now.
“Y-yes,” she answered.
Jaron closed his eyes as he waged the biggest battle he’d ever fought in his entire life. The logical part of his brain advised him to get out of bed, send her back to the guest room, then go downstairs to his game room and drink himself into a useless stupor. But his body was urging him to complete the act of loving her—to make her his and damn the inevitable consequences.
She must have sensed the conflict within him because, wrapping her long legs around him, she captured his face with her soft hands. “Jaron, I want this. I want you.”
He might have been able to win his inner struggle if he hadn’t seen the desire coloring her smooth cheeks or heard the urgency in her sweet voice. But the combination of her heartfelt declaration and the feel of her tight body surrounding his was more than he could resist.
“Forgive me, darlin’,” he said, pushing himself forward to breach the thin barrier blocking his way. Her eyes widened and a soft moan passed her parted lips when he sank himself completely inside her.
Holding his lower body perfectly still, Jaron kissed away the lone tear slowly trickling down her cheek. He hated that in order to love Mariah this first time he had to cause her pain. But as he felt her body relax around him, he knew that she was adjusting to his presence and, easing himself back and then forward, he set a pace he hoped would cause her the least amount of discomfort. He knew she probably wouldn’t derive much pleasure from their lovemaking, but that wasn’t going to keep him from trying to give her whatever pleasure he possibly could.
As the driving force of the tension holding them captive increased, Jaron held himself in check until he felt Mariah begin to respond to his gentle movement. Only then did he increase the depth and strength of his strokes.
When he felt her tiny feminine muscles begin to tighten around him, he knew she was close to realizing the satisfaction they both sought and, reaching between them, he touched her in a way he knew would send her over the edge. Her fulfillment triggered his own and, gathering her close, he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t pass out from the extraordinary sensations of his release.
Collapsing on top of her, Jaron buried his face in her silky hair and tried to catch his breath as he slowly drifted back to reality. He had never experienced anything as intense or as meaningful as being one with Mariah.
As his strength returned, he eased himself to her side and pulled her into his arms. “Are you all right?”
With her head pillowed on his shoulder, she nodded as she rested her hand on his chest. “I’m fine.” She yawned. “That was amazing.”
He could tell by the sound of her voice that she was drowsy and, remembering that she’d mentioned having a rough day, he kissed the top of her head and reached over to turn off the bedside lamp. “Get some rest, darlin’.”
He’d barely finished making the suggestion before he could tell that Mariah had dozed off. Long after he was sure she was sound asleep, he continued to hold her close as he stared up at the ceiling. What the hell had he done?
No matter how much he would like to go back to the way things had been between them in the past, it would never be the same again. He’d not only crossed the line with her, he had taken something that she could give to only one man.
He closed his eyes as he fought the need building inside him once again. He wanted her, and just the thought that he had been the first man to touch her like this sent heat streaking throughout his body with lightning speed.
It hadn’t even crossed his mind that she might still be a virgin. Hell, Mariah was twenty-five years old and he knew for certain that over the years she’d dated several men. So why him? Why had he been the one she chose to be the first man she made love with?
Unable to think clearly with Mariah in his arms, Jaron contented himself with simply holding her while she slept until sometime around dawn, when he reluctantly eased away from her and got out of bed to pick up their clothes. Folding hers, he placed them on the bench at the end of the bed, then took a quick shower and got dressed.
As he started to leave the room, he turned to gaze at the beautiful woman sleeping peacefully in his bed. How had he let things get so out of hand with her? Why had he ignored that voice of reason in his head, telling him to walk away before he did something he was sure to regret? And how was he going to be with her at family gatherings without losing his mind from wanting her and not allowing himself to touch her?
Guilt and regret so strong it threatened to choke him settled in his gut and, shaking his head, Jaron headed downstairs for a stiff drink. He needed to shore up his resolve and do what he knew was right and would be the best for Mariah. As soon as his men repaired her car, he was going to send her on her way and hope like hell one day he could forget the most incredible night of his entire life.
* * *
When Mariah awoke the following morning to sunlight peeping through a part in the drapes, two things were immediately apparent—she was in Jaron’s bed and he wasn’t with her. She was a little disappointed, but not really surprised. Bria had told her that ranchers usually started their days before dawn and sometimes worked until well past sundown. Now that Jaron owned the Wild Maverick Ranch, it stood to reason that he would keep those hours, as well.
Lying there surrounded by his clean masculine scent on the black satin sheets, Mariah’s heart skipped a beat as she thought about the shift in the direction of their relationship. After all these years, Jaron had finally recognized she was no longer an eighteen-year-old girl with stars in her eyes. He had finally seen her as the woman she had become, albeit almost grudgingly. But she was certain that even he would have to admit that what they had shared was beautiful.
As she thought about his hesitancy, she frowned. Why had Jaron kissed her, made love to her, if he had been so reluctant? She might not be as experienced as a lot of women her age, but she knew beyond a shadow of doubt that it wasn’t because he hadn’t desired her. In fact, it had been as if needing her was the last thing he wanted. But he hadn’t been able to stop himself.
Confused by his reaction, she got up and collected her clothes from the bench at the end of the bed, then she went into the master bathroom for a shower. They needed to talk, and his usual brooding silence wasn’t going to cut it this time. She wanted answers and she wasn’t going anywhere until she got them. What they had shared last night had been too meaningful to be dismissed. Nor was she going to allow him to ignore their lovemaking as if it never happened the way he’d ignored their first kiss.
Twenty minutes later as Mariah pulled on the clothes she’d worn the night before, she made the bed, then opted to carry her shoes instead of trying to navigate the circular staircase in four-inch heels. As much as she liked the boost the shoes added to her five-foot-five-inch height, she wasn’t willing to take the chance of breaking her neck before she confronted Jaron and got the answers she wanted.
Picking up her jacket and purse, she left the master suite to go downstairs in search of Jaron. She was a bit surprised to find him seated at the table in the breakfast nook, drinking a cup of coffee. She had fully expected him to be somewhere outside with his ranch hands, doing whatever ranchers did.
“Good morning,” she said, walking over to set her things on one of the chairs.
He gave her a silent, stoic nod as he got up to take a mug from the cabinet above the coffeemaker. “You like cream in your coffee, don’t you?”
“I’m surprised you know that,” she said, pulling a chair from the table to sit down.
“I’ve watched you drink coffee with dessert at our family dinners for years. You and Lane’s wife, Taylor, are the only ones who don’t drink it black.” He shrugged one broad shoulder as he reached into the refrigerator to take out a dairy carton. “Will milk be okay? It’s the closest thing I have to cream.”
“That’s fine.” She’d known he watched her whenever they were together, but she hadn’t taken into consideration that he might have actually paid attention to mundane things like how she took her coffee.
“Would you like something to eat?” he asked as he set the cup in front of her. “I can make you some toast, but that’s about it. I haven’t hired a housekeeper and I’m not much of a cook.”
“No, thank you. I don’t usually eat breakfast.” She stared at him as he sat back down at the table. There was no easy way to bring up what he was trying to sidestep. And knowing him the way she did, there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that he would try to avoid discussing the shift in their relationship if he could. “We need to talk about last night,” she finally stated.
He eyed her warily for a moment before he asked, “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” she said, frowning. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Until last night, you had never made love.” His dark blue gaze caught and held hers for several seconds before he added, “I know I hurt you. I’m sorry.”
“That’s it?” she asked incredulously. “You gave me the most incredible experience of my life and all you can say is you’re sorry?”
“What do you want me to say, Mariah?” His even tone and calm demeanor infuriated her.
So angry she found it impossible to sit still, Mariah rose from the chair to pace the length of the kitchen. “How about admitting that our lovemaking meant as much to you as it did to me?” She stopped to glare at him. “And don’t you dare give me the excuse of being too old for me, because we both know it would be a total lie.”
A fleeting shadow in his dark blue eyes was the only indication that he wasn’t as removed from the situation as he would like her to believe. “Last night shouldn’t have happened,” he said, his stubborn calm irritating her as little else could. “I took something from you that I had no right to take, Mariah.”
“My virginity.” When he nodded, she shook her head. “You didn’t take anything,” she stated flatly. “It was my call to make. I chose to give that to you.”
“Last night was a mistake,” he insisted.
“No, it wasn’t. A mistake is taking it for granted that your roommate isn’t going to move out without telling you and leave you owing the entire month’s rent. Or believing that you have job security and then suddenly finding yourself out of work,” she shot back. “And we won’t even go into how big a mistake it is to believe that your car is reliable when it’s ten years old and makes more odd noises than you can count.” Mariah shook her head. “Last night was the only good thing that happened to me yesterday, and I’m not going to let you dismiss it as if it meant nothing.”
Jaron frowned as he got up and walked over to stand in front of her. “You lost your job?”
“Yes, but that’s not the issue here.” She refused to allow him to divert the conversation. “We’re not talking about my work situation. We’re discussing what happened between us.”
“There is no us, Mariah,” he said quietly as he rested his hands on her shoulders. The heat from his palms felt absolutely wonderful, but she did her best to ignore it. “I told you I wasn’t promising anything past last night,” he continued. He shook his head. “That hasn’t changed, darlin’.”
Staring up at him, she could see the determination in his eyes and the stubborn set of his jaw. She would have about as much luck convincing elephants to roost in trees as she would getting him to admit that what they’d shared was special. It simply wasn’t going to happen.
Resigned, she walked over to slip on her high heels and gather her jacket and purse. “I don’t suppose your men had a chance to see about my car?”
He dug into the front pocket of his jeans and, producing the keys to her car, handed them to her. “All you needed was a new battery.”
When he placed the keys in her hand, his fingers brushed her palm and a streak of electricity zinged straight up her arm. She could tell by the slight tightening of his jaw that he felt it, as well.
“I’ll pay you for the repair as soon as I get a new job,” she said, walking toward the door.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said, following her. “It didn’t cost that much.”
“I most certainly will pay you back for the battery. I may be out of a job right now, but I do have my pride,” Mariah said, turning back to glare at him. “I’m not a charity case.”
“I never thought you were,” he said, looking a little bewildered. “I’m just trying to help you out.”
“I don’t need your help,” she said pointedly. “The only thing I need from you is an explanation of what changed between us and why you’re wanting to go back to the way things were. But you refuse to talk to me about it.”
She knew she was probably overreacting to the situation. But she was frustrated beyond reason and besides, if she didn’t vent in some way, she couldn’t be sure she wouldn’t bop him on top of his stubborn head with her purse.
“Do you have any prospects of finding another job?” Jaron asked, following her out the door. “Do you need help making the rent since your roommate moved out? I could loan you—”
“Don’t you dare offer me money,” she warned, her anger rising to the boiling point. “After last night, you would be the last person I—”
“I’d like to do something to help,” he interrupted, reaching up to run his hand through his dark brown hair as if he was trying to think of a way to help her out. He hesitated for a moment before he offered, “I still need a housekeeper who cooks. And the job comes with free room and board. You could work here until something better comes along.” He didn’t sound all that encouraging, and she knew it was nothing more than a token gesture. He didn’t want her to take the job and had only offered it to her because he felt guilty.
“You’re offering me a job and a place to live?” she asked incredulously. She didn’t know whether to laugh out loud at his erroneous assumption that she could cook or be highly insulted that he thought she was so desperate she would accept his offer.
“The job is yours if you want it,” he said, looking less than enthusiastic about having her around all the time. She had no doubt he expected her to turn it down and that was exactly what she intended to do.
“No, thank you,” Mariah answered as she carefully descended the steps. If her mother hadn’t taught her to be a lady, she’d gladly tell him what he could do with that job.
As she navigated her way across the yard to the driveway, hoping that she could keep from breaking an ankle or at the very least one of the expensive four-inch heels, she thought about the opportunity Jaron had inadvertently handed her. It would be poetic justice if she did accept the job. By living under the same roof with him, he certainly wouldn’t be able to avoid her, nor would she let him forget the special night they had shared. And as for making his meals, it would serve him right if he had to eat her cooking.
But the more she thought about it, the more sense it made. She needed a job, and he owed her an explanation that she was determined to eventually get from him. What better way to do that than by seeing him every day?
The only drawback she could see about taking the job was the possibility of losing what was left of her sanity from dealing with a man who made a habit of closing himself off. And then there was the problem of her sister accusing her of being impulsive again when Bria learned Mariah was living at the ranch with Jaron. But if she could find out the reason behind his insistence that he was no good for her, it would be worth it.
When she got into her car, she glanced up at the house to see Jaron still standing on the porch, watching her. His arms were folded across his broad chest and he was leaning one shoulder against a support post. He looked so darned good to her it took her breath away.
Mariah worried her lower lip as she weighed her options. If she drove away, she might never get the answers she wanted from Jaron. And if she stayed, she might get an explanation that she didn’t want to hear. Unfortunately, she would never know unless she took the chance.
Taking a deep breath, she reached for the door handle. She might be setting herself up for a huge fall, but she just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to settle things with Jaron Lambert once and for all.
* * *
Jaron frowned when he watched Mariah open the car door. What was she doing? She had rejected his guilt-induced job offer outright, and he had been greatly relieved. Why wasn’t she leaving and getting on with her life, so he could try to get on with his? He had made it perfectly clear there was nothing to talk over and that they’d never be more than good friends.
Or could she be having more car trouble? That had to be it, he decided. Her car was older and had so many miles on it that he’d been surprised it had only taken a battery to get it going that morning.
By the time she made her way back to the porch in those ridiculously high heels, he was reaching for the cell phone to call Billy Ray to come up from the barn to see about her car again. But when she climbed the steps to stand in front of him, the defiant look on her pretty face stopped him cold.
“I changed my mind. I’m taking the job you offered me until I can find an office management position. I expect you to be in Shady Grove first thing Saturday morning with your truck to help me move,” she stated flatly. Turning, she added as she descended the steps to go back to her car, “And don’t be late. I want to get settled in before I have to start the job on Monday morning.”
Shocked all the way down to his size-twelve Tony Lamas, all Jaron could do was stand there staring as he watched her march back down the steps and out to her car. As she drove away, he couldn’t help but wonder what the hell had just happened. He’d only offered her the job of housekeeper and cook as a token gesture because he’d been sure she would turn it down. And she had. So why had she changed her mind?
Rubbing at the sudden tension building at the back of his neck, Jaron watched her car disappear down the lane leading to the main road before he turned and walked back into the house. What was he going to do now? He couldn’t rescind the job offer. He’d brought it up and Mariah had accepted it. As far as he was concerned, that was as good as a written contract.
But what was he going to do about living in the same house with her? How was he going to keep from going completely insane from the temptation she posed day in and day out? And why was there a part of him that wasn’t the least bit sorry that she had taken the job?
