Читать книгу A Daughter's Trust / For the Love of Family - Kathleen O'Brien - Страница 15

SHE THOUGHT ABOUT Rick Kraynick all through dinner with her parents—in spite of repeated remon-strations to herself to get the man out of her system. Carrie’s Uncle Rick, with his compelling combination of determination and vulnerability, would have stolen her heart—back when she’d thought she would marry and have children. Rick Kraynick, with his dark hair and serious eyes, was making her tense.

But that wasn’t all of it. As she sat there with her mother, she thought about Rick implying that he wanted her to fudge her reports on his mother, if she was favorably impressed by the woman. He wanted her to lie. To keep Carrie’s grandmother permanently out of the girl’s life. Like Grandma and Grandpa had lied to her? To everyone? To keep Grandma Jo away from her? Away from Jenny?

And why? The woman had been a wonderful mother to Joe. And by the sounds of things, to Adam and Daniel, too. According to Joe.

Why couldn’t Adam have known his father, as well? Maybe if Uncle Adam had grown up with a male influence, he’d have been better equipped to step up and take responsibility when his wife’s death left him with a son to raise. And maybe, if Jenny hadn’t always felt like she was second best, not quite as much a part of the family as her brother, she’d have been less apt to smother her own daughter…

Why couldn’t Sam have been told that Jenny was his half sister? Or Jenny that Robert was her real father? What right did Sarah and Robert and Jo Fraser have to perpetuate lies that affected the lives, the self-concepts, of so many people?

It was like they’d spent their entire lives playing the wrong roles.

And what right did Rick Kraynick have to do the same thing to Carrie—to make her into something she wasn’t? To prevent her from being as complete? To understand herself. To know what she came from? It was very clear he intended to keep the little girl from ever knowing her grandmother.

For that matter, was he hoping to keep the truth of Carrie’s mother from her, too? Was he just going to pretend that Christy hadn’t been a teen addict who’d struggled to get herself clean for the sake of the baby she’d adored?

And why, since he’d behaved inappropriately, did Sue feel guilty for kicking him out?

Yeah, the man had had it rough as a kid. He’d lost a sister he’d never met. He’d suffered. Didn’t everyone?

If his mother was as he said, he had valid points.

But he shouldn’t be airing them with Sue.

She passed the potatoes when her father asked. Cut her chicken. Pushed food around on her plate.

She’d never met a man she couldn’t stop thinking about.

Sue made it through dinner mostly because her parents were happy just being with her. They didn’t require scintillating conversation. And because they were grieving together.

And after dinner three babies needed baths and feedings while her folks were there, which left little room for meaningful conversation.

As she washed and dried little limbs, Sue tried not to think about Rick Kraynick. He’d been up-front with her from the beginning about who he was and what he wanted from her. And she’d been rude.

That wasn’t her way.

If his adoption petition was considered, he could very well be back as a legitimate visitor. Someone she would watch. Sonia was going to want her opinions. She was going to have to be unbiased. Kind. Looking out strictly for Carrie’s best interests…

Her father was on a ladder in the kitchen, changing a bulb that had burned out just that morning, when she and her mother came out of the bedroom with three clean and kicking babies.

“I’d have gotten to that,” Sue told him while, with Carrie on her hip, she gathered three bottles to fill with formula.

“Now you don’t have to,” he said, climbing down. “You’ve got some condensation on the window in your family room,” he continued. “Which means a seal has come loose. It’ll need to be replaced at some point.”

“Is it a safety issue?”

“No, but eventually it’ll cause water damage to the drywall.”

Eventually, she’d replace the window.

“And I took care of the drip in the sink in your bathroom. It just needed to be tightened.”

“Thanks.” She handed a bottle to her mother. And one to her father, who took Michael and sat in the kitchen chair next to his wife’s. Sue grabbed Carrie’s bottle and joined them.

“I really don’t feel good about you being out here all by yourself,” Luke said. He and Jenny exchanged “the glance.” Sue prepared for another two-against-one onslaught of loving concern.

“Are you seeing anyone?” her mother asked.

“No.”

“It’s not healthy, Sue, a woman of your age spending every waking moment with other people’s babies.”

“They’re my babies while I have them. And it’s my job.” One of them.

“You know what your mother’s saying.” Luke adjusted the nipple in Michael’s mouth. “You should be getting out. Having some kind of social life.”

Thinking about getting married.

“I’m perfectly happy as things are.” She included both her parents in her glance. “Marriage worked great for you guys, but I’m just not interested. I don’t want a husband. I don’t miss not having a man around. And if I were to enter a relationship not really wanting it, it would never work.”

They’d been through this before. Every single time she saw them.

“This is the twenty-first century, guys,” she said softly. “I don’t have to have a man to be complete.”

“Don’t you get lonely, honey?” Jenny asked.

“With this brood? Are you kidding?” Setting down her bottle, she lifted Carrie to her shoulder, gently patting the little girl’s back.

Her mother already had William up on her shoulder. Sue breathed a silent sigh of relief as Jenny and Luke exchanged another look. The one that said they’d let the issue of Sue’s lifestyle ride for now.

“We brought the necklace for you to see,” Luke said half an hour later as the threesome walked down the hall together after having laid the babies in their cribs.

“Dad, really, I’ve seen it a hundred times.”

As they entered the family room, Jenny went for her purse, pulling out the familiar black velvet box.

Sue turned away. “I do not want to see Grandma’s necklace.”

Grabbing her hand, Jenny pulled her down to the couch. Luke sat on her other side. “Grandma’s gone, sweetie,” her mom said.

“I know that.”

“Your father and I—” Jenny and Luke placed their hands over Sue’s “—we know how close you were to her, how badly you must be hurting.”

“I’m fine,” Sue said, not moving.

“We…oh, honey…” Jenny’s eyes filled with tears.

“What your mother is trying to say is that we understand and we’re here for you,” Luke stated.

“I know that.”

“Denial is the first stage of grief,” he continued.

Okay. She wasn’t denying anything. She just wasn’t like them, needing to cling to each other…

“We’re worried about you here all alone, with no one to see you through this difficult time.”

Sue jumped up. “Ma, Dad…” She stopped. Took a breath. Lessened the intensity of her tone. “Really, I’m going to be all right.”

They shared “the glance” again.

“Look, I promise I’ll stay in touch. And Belle’s here…”

“Just don’t underestimate the effect this is having on you.” The seriousness of Luke’s glance got her attention more than his earlier worry had. “You’re too much like me,” he said. “You take on more than you should. You think you can handle anything.”

What other option was there?

But she knew what her dad was saying. He’d retired early from his banking career because of stress-related high blood pressure. A condition that no longer existed, thank God.

“I’ll be careful, Dad. I promise.”

One thing she’d learned about herself several years ago, she wasn’t Wonder Woman.

DRESSED IN GYM SHORTS and a muscle shirt, the same clothes he’d worn lifting weights in the spare bedroom an hour before, Rick sat in the dark on the settee in his bedroom, looking out over the city from the wall of windows. The house wasn’t big. Wasn’t opulent. But it had these windows.

And a fenced-in grassy yard that had been perfect for a little girl to play in.

Ten forty-five.

Rick sat, looking for a plan.

It had something to do with the natural, sexy woman he couldn’t get out of his mind. But so far, the details wouldn’t come to him.

So he sat. He stared.

He hung on.

A move he’d perfected over the past few months.

When his cell rang, it took him a couple of rings to find the damn thing. In the master bath. On the counter. Where he’d left it when he’d stripped out of the jeans he’d worn that day.

He tripped over them as he grabbed the phone.

He recognized the number. Sue Bookman.

“Hello?”

“People change,” she said simply.

Back in his bedroom, Rick returned to study the city he loved. Fog and all. “Sue?”

“Yeah. Is it too late? I meant to call earlier, but by the time my folks left, William was up again and a little fussy with his ten o’clock feeding. But I can call back another time—”

“No!” He sat on the edge of the love seat, his arms on his knees. She was calling him at ten o’clock at night when she could have waited until morning if the call were purely professional. Had she been thinking about him as much as he’d been thinking about her? “Now’s fine.”

“I won’t keep you. I was out of line this afternoon and I apologize.”

“Out of line how?”

“When I didn’t like what you had to say, I was rude. I’m sorry.”

“You sound tired.”

“It’s been a long day.” And then, before he could respond, she added, “A long couple of weeks.”

Definely not a professional call.

“Anything you want to talk about?”

He barely knew the woman. But asking the question seemed natural.

“Not really.” Her chuckle lacked humor. “It’s just that sometimes life doesn’t make a lot of sense, you know?”

More like most times. “Yeah.”

“I found out earlier this week, at the reading of my grandmother’s will, that the man I thought was my maternal grandfather by adoption, was actually my biological grandfather.”

Rick’s heart rate sped up. The conversation had just become personal. Between him and her.

“You lost your grandmother?”

Her pause was telling. “Yes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. Me, too.”

The darkness surrounding him was more companion than demon at the moment.

“Were you close to her?”

“Very. You see, the thing is, I don’t get close to people. I tend to get cramped. To suffocate if anyone gets too close. Except for my grandmother. I never got that feeling with her. Not once.”

“What about your parents?”

“Oh, yeah. It happens with them most of all. I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”

“Maybe because you need to talk about it and I’m risk free.”

“But still…”

“Maybe because I want to hear it.”

“You sure about that?”

“Yes.” More sure than he’d been about anything in a long time. Except for getting Carrie.

“Why?”

“You really want me to answer that?”

“I asked, didn’t I?”

It was like they were dancing. Only they were using words to circle each other. To feel each other out.

Because there was more here than a foster mother and a potential adoptive parent.

You ’re losing it, Kraynick. You ’ve met her twice.

But he answered her anyway. “My niece aside, you intrigue me. It’s been a long time since I met a woman I didn’t immediately forget two minutes after I left her…That didn’t come out as I meant it to sound.”

Rick moaned inwardly. He really had been out of the singles scene a long time.

“Maybe not, but it might be the nicest thing anyone’s said to me in quite a while.” Her voice dropped. “This isn’t going to sway my opinion regarding Carrie.”

“I understand.”

“I mean that.”

“I’m enjoying a conversation with a woman I’ve met,” he said, bemused as he looked out over a city that, recently, had seemed to go on without him. “Not with a foster parent.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yep.”

“Okay then, my mom was adopted,” she blurted, before going on to tell him about her mother’s relationship with her older brother, the biological son of her adoptive parents. And that wasn’t all. There were two uncles involved, too. And a couple of cousins.

“And you guys just found out all of this?”

“Pretty amazing, huh?” Silence hung between them until she said, “Had enough?”

“Not by a long shot.”

“What are we doing here?”

“Talking.”

“Yeah, but we don’t really even know each other and…Strangely enough, this feels…good.”

“So talk. This feels…good.” He repeated her words back to her.

“It’s been a tough couple of weeks all around, huh?”

“That it has.” “It’s kind of like we were meant to meet. To talk.”

He was glad to hear she thought so, too. “We’ve been through similar experiences,” he said. “Both finding out about family we didn’t know we had. It’s good to talk to someone who understands.”

“Especially since we aren’t going to get a chance to have relationships with some of them. Your sister. My biological grandmother. And even some I did spend time with weren’t who I thought they were. My whole life I thought my grandfather was this somewhat quiet, very loyal, hardworking family man who adored my grandmother. And then I hear that he was not only unfaithful to her, that he’d had a mistress on the side for years, but that he’d also had babies by her? He had both women pregnant at the same time with his two sons!”

“But they never knew they were half brothers.” “

No! We didn’t even know this other woman existed, and she was my mom’s mother! This woman raised her two sons—the second, younger than my mother, was fathered by the man she eventually married—and a grandson. So why in the hell did she give my mother away?”

“Maybe your grandfather gave her no choice. Maybe it was some kind of deal they made, that one of them raise one of their children while the other raised the other?”

“That stinks. Like kids are assets you’re going to split?”

Rick leaned back on the couch, propping his heels on the low table in front of it, more alive than he’d felt in a long time. “Yeah, probably not. You said he was a loving man. There was probably more to it than that. Maybe…

maybe the first pregnancy came so soon after her husband’s death she could pass the baby off as his. But your mother would have been obviously illegitimate.”

“That wasn’t my mom’s fault. And certainly no reason not to love her.”

“But then you live in a society that wouldn’t blink twice at a child born out of wedlock.” What an untenable situation. “I can’t imagine the rest of Robert’s life, as he lived with those choices.”

“My grandfather’s smile always seemed a little sad. I understand why, now. But I’ll say this for him. He was there for us. Always.”

“Us. You mentioned a couple of cousins. Are they Sam’s kids?”

“Belle is. The other, Joe, is Adam’s son.”

“So you knew this Belle growing up, but since you never met Adam, you wouldn’t have known Joe, which means you have a new cousin to become acquainted with, too.”

“No, that’s weird, as well. Adam’s son, Joe, was my best friend.”

Rick frowned. “What?”

“Yeah.” Sue paused a long moment. Then she explained about the friend she’d had but never brought home. “The best way I can describe my childhood is cloying,” she added, by way of explanation. “My mom’s the type who’s not content unless she’s inside your skin. Maybe because Uncle Sam always made her feel less a part of the family, I don’t know. Anyway, she met my father while they were still in high school, and they’ve been inseparable ever since. They do everything together, especially now since Dad’s retired.”

Rick was beginning to understand why Sue lived alone. And hoped it wasn’t a condition she wanted to maintain forever.

“By the time I met Joe, I was fourteen. We went to the same high school—just like my parents. I’d realized by that point that I was either going to spend my life fighting to get breathing space from my parents, go insane or keep secrets from them. He was my secret. I realize now that part of the secrecy was my way of keeping my distance, even with Joe.”

“You guys had no idea you were related.”

“Nope.”

Rick didn’t think he had a right to ask the obvious question. A boy. A girl. Close. Hormones.

“He asked me to go steady when we were seniors.”

Rick laid his head back against the cushions, focused on the lights twinkling with abandon in the vast world before him.

“Did you?”

“Yes.”