Читать книгу The Father of Her Son - Kathleen Pickering - Страница 13

CHAPTER FIVE

WHEN THE PHONE rang at five-thirty Monday morning, Kelly was already up preparing lunch for Matt’s first day of school. She reached for the phone frowning. Either someone was in distress or calling long-distance. Those long-distance calls usually left her distressed. She wasn’t happy when she read the caller ID. She considered not answering, but Mum would chase her down until they finally spoke. She might as well take the call. Matt still slept.

“Top of the morning to ya, Kelly m’ love!”

Kelly scrunched her face. “And a fine morning it is, Mum. What a surprise to hear from you so early.”

“It’s almost noon here. I knew you’d be up being the businesswoman you are. Have you found yourself a husband yet?”

She rolled her eyes at the familiar question. “Saints be praised, no. Neverland is all mine, and I don’t have to share it with anyone.”

“You’ve always been a peculiar child.”

“Mum, did you call me just to air your insults?”

“I’m only well meaning. You know that.”

What would Mum say if she knew about her six-year-old grandson? Keeping Matt’s existence unknown to her family had been easy since none of them ever ventured farther than the Kinsale county line. As far as Matt was concerned, Grampy Herby had been his grandfather, and his death had closed that door. He was too young to consider anything else. Although they were few and far between, Kelly was vigilant in never taking long-distance calls when Matt was within earshot. Of all of her careful planning and covering her tracks, this was the trickiest tightrope she walked.

“So, what can I do for you today, Mum? How is Da?”

“He’s just fine. I’m calling to tell you that Michael has moved to New York. He left yesterday. Have ye heard from him?”

A lump caught in her throat. “Michael?”

“Yes! They’ve assigned him as pastor of a lovely parish in Brooklyn. I know he’ll be busy, but he wants to see you as soon as possible. Being near his baby sister was part of his reason for going to the States.”

The floor shifted beneath her feet. Oh, my God! She dropped onto the stool at the counter. With her brother living a train ride away, she would be busted in no time.

“Kelly? Are you there?”

“Yes. Of course. That is wonderful news. How can I find him?”

“His new parish is called The Church of The Little Flower, after Saint Theresa. Isn’t that lovely?”

“He will be wonderful for the congregation, I’m sure. Is it a large church?” Lord, she would begin babbling soon, but staunch Catholic that her mother was, anything to do with the church was exciting conversation. Kelly asked nonsense so she could get her wits about her.

“It’s a good size, he tells me. He showed me a photo before he left. The church is lovely. Beautiful windows.”

“I have to call him. Do you know his phone number?” She scribbled the number on a notepad. “I’ll contact him as soon as I can. This is quite a surprise.”

Mum chuckled. “I knew you’d be happy. I’ll be going now. Your Da will be wanting his lunch. Will you call me to tell me how your reunion goes?”

“Of course!” Her heart was about to pound out of her chest.

“That’s a good daughter.”

“Big hug and kiss to all. Bye, Mum.”

She hung up way too fast, but she couldn’t help it. What was she going to do? She sat, head in hands in the predawn light thinking her world was about to cave in around her head. How would she explain Matt to Michael, let alone Michael to Matt? Well, when the time came she’d be honest and matter-of-fact. If he was old enough to tackle a first day of school, he’d be old enough to wrap his brain around the idea that they had family in a foreign country. She’d figure out the details later.

She lifted her head. She’d dealt with worse. Offense made the best defense she’d always heard. As she finished packing Matt’s lunch, a plan started forming in her mind. Good Catholic girl that she was, she just might have to make a visit to church.

* * *

LUCKILY, MATT’S SCHOOL was within walking distance and the morning was sunny and warm. He looked like a little man in his light blue Henley and chino shorts. He gripped the straps of his new Urban Hero backpack with enough nervous energy to make Kelly glad to be accompanying the small troupe of kids and their mothers. Actually, nothing would have stopped her from this momentous occasion in her son’s life. If all of New York clamored for breakfast at Neverland, she’d send them away, or make them wait. Life would always go on, but these precious moments were meant to be cherished.

She walked with Donna while Matt and Jared chattered with their friends. When they arrived at the school with kids swarming everywhere, Matt froze in place. Kelly hugged him hard as the teachers began rounding up the kids.

“You’ll have a great day today, Matt. I’ll be right here waiting for you at two-thirty.”

Matt watched the other kids lining up as if deciding whether or not it was a good idea to join them. Kelly leaned over. “Remember when we checked out your classroom last week? I can’t wait to hear about all the fun things you do when I see you later.”

Jared tugged on his shirt. “C’mon, dude!”

Jared’s enthusiasm seemed to cinch Matt’s resolve. “Okay, Mom. See you later!”

Kelly stared at the doorway he disappeared through, amazed at the mixture of pride and abandonment she felt that her baby was stepping out into the world without her. He’d probably fare better than she would, worrying about him all day.

She and Donna headed back for Neverland.

“So, I’ve been dying to ask you. How did your date go Saturday night with Evan?”

The absurdity of the question made her laugh. “Matt’s birthday dinner was great fun. Did you know Evan has half of a basketball court in his game room?”

Donna chuckled. “Okay, avoid the question.”

“It was no date, Donna, but it was really nice of Evan to go to all that effort for Matt. He’s a good friend.”

Do you have anyone to confide in? Evan’s question flooded her mind. Was it only two nights ago that he had made the evening so very comfortable for both her and Matt? The thought of having him for a confidant reached deeper than she had imagined, but then again, he was a man used to adjusting the world to get what he wanted. She pushed the thought of Evan from her mind and was glad when they reached Neverland. “So, I’ll see you back at school around two-fifteen, Donna?”

“Okay! I’m headed downtown. Jeff and I are celebrating our anniversary this weekend. I have to find a gift.”

Anniversary. A husband. Time spent together. She wondered if she’d ever know what that was like. She tied on her apron and approached the nearest customers to take their orders.

* * *

MICHAEL HAD CALLED twice but she hadn’t answered the phone. She couldn’t until she had the chance to put her plan into action. She’d had to wait until Saturday. Now, she passed through the front doors of the Church of the Little Flower. As she worked her way down the center aisle, she was struck by the cool air wafting through the shadowed vestibule, the smell of incense, beeswax and summer flowers that were bunched in bouquets along the altar. With one phone call to the rectory, Kelly learned that the pastor and the only other priest in the rectory listened to Confession on Saturday afternoons.

The only problem, Kelly thought as she watched the two confessionals with the little red lights glowing above the priests’ doors, was to discern which cubicle held her brother. If Kelly was going to pull off her plan, she at least needed the ear of the correct priest.

An elderly woman exited from behind the curtain of the closest confessional. Kelly approached her.

“Excuse me. I’d like to speak with Pastor Sullivan. Do you know where he is?”

The woman indicated the confessional from which she came. “He’s in there, my dear.” She patted Kelly’s arm and headed for the kneeling bench before a small altar in an alcove.

Kelly stared at the vacant cubicle adjacent to the closed door where her brother sat. She hadn’t seen Michael in eight years and had spoken to him maybe that many times throughout the years because he had been so involved in the seminary and the two other parishes where he’d been assigned. He had no idea Kelly was in his church. Her knees almost buckled as she stepped closer. Inhaling a deep, fortifying breath, she pulled the curtain closed behind her, knelt and waited for her brother to open the small door to listen to her anonymously through the darkened screen.

She waited, her pulse pounding, until finally the door slid open.

“Good afternoon.”

She smiled at the sound of his gentle voice. She spoke quietly, imagining herself as a regular Brooklyn girl and hid her accent as best she could. “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been several years since my last confession and I need your help.”

“Several years is a long time.”

“I know, Father, but I didn’t know how to handle my situation.” She worked to keep from falling into her lilt since her brother’s accent was so very predominant.

“How can I help you, lass?”

She hesitated. She’d never told anyone her secret. Now she was about to reveal it to her brother, a family member, the kiss of death—even if she was in disguise.

“You can feel free to speak. I will not judge you.”

Tears filled her eyes. “I have a son out of wedlock. He just turned six and my family does not know he exists.”

Father Michael remained silent for a moment. “And this boy’s father?”

She shook her head, even though her brother could not see. “He does not know about the boy.”

“And why would you not tell him?”

The memory of that awful night flooded her. It was as if the dam of tears she held back for all these years poured from her at the sound of her brother’s concerned voice. “Because, Michael, the man raped me. I couldn’t get far enough away from him! I didn’t know I was pregnant until I was long gone.”

Oh, God, she used the hated R word and it cut into her heart like a razor blade. Blinded by her own tears, it was too late before she realized she’d returned to her native accent and her brother was charging from the confessional and reaching for her from behind the curtain.

“Kelly!”

He pulled her into his arms, holding her so tightly she could hardly breathe. She laid her head against his chest and sobbed, the cool fabric of his vestments soothing her hot skin. Each hiccupping breath released the pain and horror she’d tamped down for all those years in order to continue putting one foot in front of the other.

“What are you doing coming to confession like that? Why didn’t you call me?”

Kelly couldn’t stop crying, so Michael led her from the side door of the church to the garden behind the rectory. They sat together on a bench beneath an ancient oak tree. Becoming reduced to a weeping fool was not part of her original plan.

With her brother’s strong arm around her shoulder, those huge blue eyes watching her as if she’d crumble any moment, she sucked in the Sullivan courage and managed to smile at Michael through her tears.

“Well, I never thought that the first time I finally told my story I’d turn in to a blubbering schoolgirl.”

Michael tucked a finger beneath her chin and lifted her gaze to meet his. His handsome face framed with a mop of auburn hair was so familiar.

“So, I have the honor of being the first to hear that there is an addition to our family?”

She nodded. “Mum and Da are so closed minded. I couldn’t tell them and bring shame to my Matthew.”

He smiled. “So, he’s named for the apostle who began life as an outcast. You are deep, Kelly, my girl.”

“He’s a wonderful boy.”

He grabbed her hands. “Truly, you were raped?”

She sucked in a huge breath. “Yes, Michael, but please don’t ask me for details, because I won’t tell you. I had every intention of putting Matt up for adoption, but at the last moment, I couldn’t. He is my life.”

“Now, how shall we tell the family of your blessed news?”

She pulled away. “We won’t! Not yet, at least. I’m not ready.”

“That is wrong, Kelly.”

The anger that she had used all these years to shield her secret erupted. “Michael, I confessed this so-called sin to you, a priest, in God’s confessional. You are under oath to God and the Church to keep my secret.”

His eyes narrowed. “Why, you conniving little sister! Holding me to my vows is irreverent and untrustworthy.”

She frowned. “Perhaps, but it is Church doctrine, and I need the security of your silence.”

“And this is the greeting I get after not seeing you since you were nineteen.” He pulled her to her feet. “Did you become more mule-headed while growing into a beautiful woman?”

Just like her brother to add sugar to a dose of truth. “Michael, I would never have told anyone in our family about Matthew, especially now that I have become an American citizen, but you’ve come to my side of the world. Now that you are here, I see Matt cannot be kept secret from our family for much longer, but I must rely on your discretion. When I’m ready to tell our folks, I’ll need your help, but not until I am ready. I will not tolerate anyone treating my son unkindly.”

He exhaled a long breath. “I understand. Kelly, I can’t tell you how upset I am that you carried this burden alone for all these years. Why didn’t you call me?”

Again, Evan’s words rushed in... Do you have someone to confide in? She closed her eyes to dispel the image of him in her mind. “My situation was so complicated. I feared if I spoke one word the entire story would tumble out. No one can know who Matt’s father is.”

“Kelly, do you think I am daft? You came here as a nanny and now own a diner. I can already guess.”

A jolt of panic stole her breath. She swallowed hard. “Still. Don’t ask. I will not tell you, Michael. I have to protect my son. New York laws don’t protect rape victims from their assailant if they become pregnant and keep the child. If he were to file suit, I would have to give him joint custody—at best!”

Michael glanced toward the church. “I can leave Peter to hear confession. Let’s go inside to talk. I’ll make you some tea.”

“I can’t, Michael. I have to get back to work.”

“Well, then, are you free tonight?”

“No. Give me a few days and I’ll bring Matt to meet you. I want to tell him about you first. Okay?”

He hugged her again. “Kelly, I wish you would have trusted me sooner. I hate to think how difficult this ordeal must have been for you.”

“The Lord has provided for me, Michael. He sent me to Herby George who was my shining light during the dark hours. Now I have Neverland, a roof over my head and the love of a beautiful child. I am blessed.”

“Herbert George should be sainted.”

She smiled. “Aye.”

“And, your new citizenship? Another secret?”

“Not so much. My American friends know.”

“Oh, but we in Ireland don’t deserve such courtesy?”

“I’m sorry, Michael. I’ve become so used to keeping my own counsel.”

“To hide the child.”

“Yes.”

Michael watched her for a long, silent moment. She could see him struggling with the rising anger she knew all too well, against the man who raped her, but what Michael needed to understand was that even now, that man could be a danger.

“Michael, please. You must trust me that silence is the safest road for me.”

“I’d like to get my hands on that...”

She squeezed his arm. “No, Michael. The devil will get his due. We need only carry on with our lives as quietly as possible.” She managed a smile. “Wait until you see Matthew. He is a marvelous boy. And, Neverland. I’ve done a splendid job of making my mark in Manhattan—no matter how small. I’ll even let you eat for free.”

“You are amazing, Kelly.”

His compliment warmed her heart. “And without a man, which Mum seemed to think was impossible. I am proud of my accomplishments.”

“And so you should be. Now, for your sins you must say two rosaries, come back here next Friday, do the stations of the cross and then recite ten novenas to make up for your irreverent confession.”

She laughed and hugged her brother. “I have missed you, Michael!”

“When will you come back?”

She bit her lip as she tried to figure out a way to break the news to Matt. “This is going to be tricky. Matt thinks Herby George was his only relative.”

“You’ve lied to the child?”

“No! I simply omitted information.”

He frowned. “I’m thinking you might be due for another round in the confessional.”

“Believe me, the good Lord knows all my faults.”

“Sounds to me like you’ve carved out some rules of your own to get by.”

“They’ve gotten me this far, Michael. Don’t be judging me now.”

“As if my judgment would matter. So, when?”

She tapped a finger to her lips. “Friday? For dinner?”

He turned to escort her from the garden. “That will do. We have a lot of time to catch up on. Come early so you can do those stations of the cross.”