Читать книгу Be My Babies - Kathryn Shay - Страница 7

LILY LAY BACK against the pillows and watched the morning sun stream in through her bedroom windows. The birds had awakened her at dawn, but she’d dozed off again. She couldn’t believe she was sleeping so much, or that she’d been so lazy all week since she’d arrived in Fairview. At home, in Westchester, having Derek to tend to, and, worse, his parents’ constant visits had kept her on edge and unable to relax or sleep well. She hadn’t realized how the anxiety of her life had affected her physically until she’d begun to feel better here, in the cocoon of her grandfather’s house.

There was a knock on her door, a light tapping, in case she was still asleep. This had become a morning routine— one she was beginning to cherish.

“I’m awake, Gil.”

Entering with a tray, he smiled. “Good morning. You look rested.”

“Completely.” She looked askance at what he carried. “I wish you wouldn’t do this.”

“You gave me a week to pamper you, and I’m thoroughly enjoying myself.”

At times like these, Lily couldn’t imagine Gil allowing her mother to leave his house and certainly never kicking her out. It just didn’t make sense. But yesterday he’d come clean with the fact that he had, indeed, let Alice send Cameron to the home for unwed mothers. He took full blame for it, which had eased somewhat her resentment of what he’d done. As did his confession that his daughter’s disappearance had caused him long-standing guilt and grief. He’d also tried to undo it, but ultimately he couldn’t find her. Though Lily would never understand what he’d done, she was coming to terms with his actions.

Now, he beamed as he approached the bed. “This is the last day I’ll spoil you.”

She glanced at the tray after he set it down and inhaled the scents of cinnamon and warm bread. “Oh, Lord, I love French toast.”

Gil cleared his throat. “So did your mother. We used to make it Saturday mornings before I went to work.”

Picking up a glass, she sipped the tart orange juice. “You worked Saturdays?”

“And Sundays.” He took a seat near the window. “In those days, I was a workaholic, Lily.”

“That’s what you implied yesterday.” She didn’t want the resurrection of the topic to ruin the morning, so instead she nodded to the tray. “I see you brought the paper.”

“Yeah, it looks great this week.”

“Simon’s a good editor?”

His eyes sparkled. “He learned from the best.”

“I’ll bet.” She settled her hand on the newsprint. “I’m going to look for a job today, Gil.”

“I wish you wouldn’t. There’s no need.”

“I can’t just laze in bed forever.”

“Why?”

“It isn’t right.”

“It might be right for the babies.”

“I won’t overdo it. I have to start taking control of my life.”

He checked his watch. “Jake is coming in an hour to pick me up for our bowling league. I’ve got time, if you want to tell me about that. About Derek.”

Lily had yet to reveal the reason she’d run away from her husband or tell Gil what really happened to her and Cameron all those years ago. Now might be the time to explain about Derek. But she didn’t know if she’d ever tell him the latter. Some things were better kept from a father.

She bit into the toast. It was delicious. “A shortened version, maybe. After I eat.”

When she finished her meal, Gil took the tray and put it on the dresser. Sitting back down, he said, “I’m listening.” He’d brought a mug of coffee for himself and he sipped from it as she talked.

“I met Derek after college. His family business was a big customer of the agency I worked for and Derek was at the firm a lot.”

“What business is he in?”

“Wakefield Enterprises.”

“Wow, I didn’t make the connection. Huge conglomerate.”

“They’re rich.” And spoiled and arrogant.

“So why do you need a job, Lily?”

“Because it’s the Wakefields’ money. When I left the house in Westchester, I took some clothes and my jewelry, but not even my car. I only took the jewelry because I needed a security blanket, and because I intend to pay my own medical bills when I have the babies.”

“What on earth brought you to this point?”

“Derek swept me off my feet. He was so charismatic, I didn’t stand a chance.” She could still remember a young black-haired, blue-eyed Derek wining and dining her, catering to her every whim, professing his undying love. She didn’t know until after they were married that this wasn’t the real Derek Wakefield, this wasn’t his true personality. She explained all this to her grandfather.

“Once we were together, he couldn’t keep up the facade. But by then it was too late, because I was crazy about him. I thought I could handle the negligence and self-centeredness.” She shook her head. “It wasn’t until we tried to have a child that things became unbearable.”

“You had problems…in that area?”

“Yes. Derek wouldn’t get tested, but there were no physical issues with me.” She shrugged. “Still, maybe I was too tense.”

“How did he feel when you told him you finally were pregnant?”

She waited a long time before she answered. “I didn’t.”

In her mind, she could still see their last scene together.

She’d come home from her doctor’s appointment elated, having waited to tell Derek about the pregnancy until she was past the miscarriage stage. That day, she’d rushed to his downstairs office, knocked and entered without waiting for a reply. And there he was…

“What are you doing?” she’d asked, horrified.

The traces of white powder still visible beneath his nose, and the paraphernalia on the desk answered her question.

“Get out of here. This is my business.”

“Derek, you can’t—”

“I said get the hell out.” He came around the desk as fast as a jaguar. When she didn’t move, he yelled, “I said, get out!”

“Derek, please.”

The slap came fast and it was hard enough to knock her back against the door. And for the first time Lily was afraid he’d hurt her and the babies.

She told Gil everything, except the part about Derek hitting her. For some reason, she couldn’t share that with him. “So I left.”

“Oh, Lily, I’m sorry.”

“Me, too. I’m going to file for a legal separation, but I need to get back on my feet again first, in case he isn’t agreeable.”

“Do you still care about him?”

“Derek was my first love, and I think I’ll always care about him. But now I have two children to protect.”

His eyes widened beneath bushy brows. “You’re not going to tell him about them?”

“I’m afraid for them, and truthfully, I’m afraid his parents might try to take them from me. I just don’t have everything figured out yet, Gil.”

“You’re not alone anymore. I’m here for you.” His eyes were sad. “I know I wasn’t there for your mother, but I learned what’s important.”

She wanted to believe that, but Lily had a hard time trusting men these days.

The doorbell rang. Rising, her grandfather said, “That’s Jake. I’ve got to go.”

“Tell him I made an appointment with Dr. Rabin.” Jake was Doc Jacobs, an established physician in town and Gil’s best friend. He had a young partner who was slowly taking over his practice. “The last time he came here, he insisted. I do need checkups.”

“I’ll tell him.” Leaning over, he kissed Lily’s head. It was the first time he’d done that. “I’ll be back this afternoon.”

“Enjoy bowling and lunch.”

After Gil left, Lily was feeling discomfited, probably because she still had some conflicted feelings about Gil’s role in her mother’s life. And because she’d talked about Derek. She’d tried to downplay that last encounter to Gil, but in reality the scene had been a nightmare. Getting out of the house unnoticed. Covering her tracks. Derek wouldn’t be able to trace her to Fairview because when she met him she’d been using the Clarkson name—which her mother had taken to protect her identity—and he’d never known Lily’s connection with the Gardners.

To dispel her anxiety, Lily opened the Sentinel to search for the classifieds. She’d feel better if she was doing something with her time.

The paper did look good, though with her art and advertising background, she couldn’t help thinking of improvements that could be made to the layout and design. The classifieds, especially, needed revamping. She began circling jobs that she could do and not be on her feet all day. There weren’t many. She was halfway through the ads when the phone rang, and she answered the extension by her bed. “Gardner residence.”

A hesitation. “Lily? This is Simon McCarthy. Is Gil there?”

“Ah, no. He just left to go bowling and have lunch with Doc Jacobs.”

“Damn.”

“Is something wrong?”

“Our receptionist called in sick and we’re fielding a lot of local ads today.” He sighed. “Never mind, I’ll try Sammy’s mother. She might be able to pitch in.”

Sammy Johnston was the photographer on staff. From the looks of the paper, she was a good one.

“What about me?”

“You?”

“I can answer phones. Take ad copy.”

“No, that’s okay.”

“Really, Simon. I was just looking at the classifieds for myself.”

“You’re staying in town?” His tone of voice was odd.

“For a while. I need to earn my keep.”

“I see.”

“Give me a half hour to shower and get over there.”

“I don’t think…”

“I insist I be allowed to help out. See you then.”

Lily hung up, wondering why Simon McCarthy didn’t want her at the Sentinel. She allowed a spark of anger to surface. She was on her way to becoming the woman she’d been pre-Derek and here was another man who seemed to want to hold her back. Well, not again. She’d be damned if she let Simon McCarthy interfere in her life.

SIMON DIDN’T WANT HER HERE. When she walked through the door, he felt trouble sidle in along with her. She looked rested today. Her cheeks were rosy from the walk here and the warm April wind had played havoc with her hair, tumbling it into wavy masses. The light blue top she wore with a navy skirt accented the color of her eyes. “Hi. I told you that you didn’t have to come.”

At that moment, Sammy poked her head out from the newsroom. “Simon, we need you back here.” She smiled. “Hi, Lily. Feeling okay?”

“Yes. Thanks.”

Just then, the phone rang.

Lily crossed to the desk. “Go back. I’ll get that.”

“Suit yourself.” He disappeared into the newsroom, cursing the curtness of his voice.

After he’d made the decision about which photo to use for the upcoming fair in town, he went back out front.

Lily was sitting at the desk, taking notes. “Why, yes, Mr. Martini, I think that copy reads well. Might I suggest a little tweak?”

Simon stood behind her and watched. She smiled into the phone and listened to the caller. “Perhaps replace cute with adorable.” She paused. “All right, good. Do we usually bill you? What? Well, news travels fast. Uh-huh, I’m his granddaughter. Why, thank you so much. I’m glad to be here.”

When she hung up, she swiveled the desk chair around and saw Simon. “Lots of ads coming in today. That’s the third since you went back.”

“I know. It picks up on Friday. You’ve made yourself at home.”

Her eyes narrowed. The mirth had gone out of them. “I hope I’m helping.”

Running a hand through his hair, he said, “Sorry. You are.”

“Is there a reason you don’t want me here, Simon?”

About a thousand. He could never reveal his worry that she might make a claim to the paper, but eventually he was going to warn her not to hurt Gil. “Gil said you were exhausted. I don’t want to answer to him if you get tired out.”

Her hand went to her abdomen. “Didn’t your wife work when she was pregnant with Jenna?”

“No. She was sick a lot, throughout the first and second trimesters.” He glanced at his watch. “I’ve got an appointment with the mayor in ten minutes. I have to go. I hate to leave…”

“Don’t worry, I won’t run off with the company savings.”

His heart knocked against his chest.

“Kidding. I can hold down the fort.”

“Our advertising guy is out soliciting ads and Sammy’s only here in the mornings, but Evan, the other reporter, is in back.”

“Fine.”

“We usually close at lunchtime.”

Her expression was amused. “Really?”

“Uh-huh. Fairview’s pretty much a reincarnation of Mayberry, only bigger.”

“It’s a nice town. I like it.”

“You can go home at twelve. I’ll be back by one.”

“Trying to get rid of me?”

“Of course not.” He snapped the words at her, then started out.

“Simon, wait.” He turned back. “Have I done something to offend you?”

Just exist. “No, I’m sorry. I’m swamped, is all.”

“Then go unswamp yourself.” The phone rang and she picked it up. “The Sentinel. Lily speaking. Why yes, yes, I’m taking the information today.” She arched a brow at him. “Mr. Martini said what? Oh, how nice, Mrs. Conklin. Yes, I’ll help you with the phrasing.”

Simon scowled as he left the office. He’d never expected her to fit in here. Didn’t want her to. As he stepped outside into the bright sunlight, he felt a sense of things slipping right through his fingers. And Lily Wakefield was the cause.

AT NOON, AFTER LOCKING the front door as Evan had told her to do when he left for lunch, Lily had taken a twenty-minute nap on the couch and then she’d fixed herself some soup she’d found in the small kitchen out back. She’d just returned to the reception area with her sketch pad and tea, when she heard a knock at the door. Rising, Lily crossed to it. Jenna was there, wearing a light yellow top and capris to match and looking like sunshine herself. She let the girl in. “Hi, Jenna.”

“Hi, Lily. Is Dad here?”

“No, he’s gone out.”

“Darn. I wanted to have lunch with him.”

“I had some soup.” She nodded out back. “There’s more in the cupboard, if you want to eat and wait for him. I’ll make it for you.”

Her face was a lot friendlier than her father’s. “Cool. But I can fix it.”

Lily went back to the couch and began to sketch the wall where framed editions of old newspapers were. She’d learned this was Simon’s collection. As she drew, she thought about his daughter. Jenna had such an interesting face. A study of innocence on the verge of adulthood. Maybe she’d try drawing the girl today.

Jenna returned with a cup of soup and some crackers and sat on the chair. “Mmm, this is great.” She cocked her head. “What are you doing here?”

Lily told her.

“Poor Dad. He needs more staff, but I guess he can’t get it. I usually help out during summer vacations.” She nodded to the pad on Lily’s lap. “What are you doing?”

“Drawing.”

“What?”

“The wall of old newspapers.”

“Dad’s collection. He loves those things, but they’re expensive as all get out.”

“I’d like to draw you sometime, Jenna.”

The girl’s eyes lit up, accented by the sun coming in from the window. “Now?”

“How long do you have?”

“Lunch is forty-five minutes. Sometimes I stay here for the next class session. I have it free. The school doesn’t mind.”

“Then, now it is.”

They talked as Lily flipped the pages and began to sketch Jenna. “Tell me about yourself.”

“Well, my best friend’s name is Katie Welsh. We’re tight and we always hang together.”

“It’s nice to have friends. What do you take at school?”

“Same old, same old. I like English best.”

“You do? Why?”

“I dig reading. Dad’s read to me since I was little and I’ve never stopped. And my English teacher, Miss Jameson, is the bomb. She lets us pick a lot of independent stuff.”

“What are you reading now?”

“Ordinary People. I love the book, and we’re seeing the movie next week.”

“I loved that book, too. It’s sad, though.”

“You read?”

“Not much lately.”

Jenna waited a beat. “Are you in trouble, Lily?”

“Not like you mean.” How much should she tell this girl? “I left my old life because I didn’t feel safe there.”

“Why?”

She looked up and almost succumbed to the sincere expression on Jenna’s face. Amazing how, after only one week, she had to remind herself she didn’t know any of these people all that well. “Some of it’s private.”

Unselfconsciously the girl rolled her eyes. “Dad says I ask too many questions.”

“No, you don’t. Just so long as you can accept it when people don’t want to answer them.”

“I can. No worries.”

“What else do you do?”

“I’m in the plays here. Katie, too. We do one a year, and then there’s a summer production. Last fall, I was the second lead in No, No, Nanette.”

“I’m impressed. I saw a revival of that on Broadway.”

“I’m dying to go and see shows on Broadway.” She added, “I love to babysit, too. Hey, maybe Katie and I can babysit the twins when they get here.”

Lily’s pulse sped up. “I’m, um, not sure I’ll be in Fairview then.”

“Where would you go?”

She gripped the pencil tighter and had to stop drawing for a minute. “I honestly don’t know.”

“You should stay. Grandpa Gil loves having you here.”

She knew that, but she wondered how Jenna had figured it out. She asked the girl.

“He just acts it. He always talks about you and smiles a lot more than before you came. Dad says it’s good to see him happy.”

“That’s nice.”

After fifteen minutes, Lily studied the sketch. “It’s okay. Could use more detail. But there’s not much time left before the paper’s open again.”

“Can I see it?”

“Sure.”

Jenna plopped down close to Lily on the couch. “Wow. This is sweet.”

“Think so?”

“Yeah. You even got me holding a book.” She smiled at the picture. “Can I have it?”

“I’d rather finish…Oh!” Lily’s hand went to her abdomen. “Oh.”

“What? Are you okay?”

Tears came to Lily’s eyes.

“Lily, should I call somebody?”

“No, no, honey. I just felt a kick for the first time.”

“Get out!” She stared at Lily’s stomach. “What did it feel like?”

“A pressure pushing against my tummy. Oh, there’s another.”

“Maybe it’s the other baby.”

“Maybe.”

Jenna was silent. Then, she asked, “Lily, can I feel it?”

“Well…of course.” Not exactly how Lily planned sharing the first flutters of the babies—with a teenage girl she barely knew—but what the heck? At least someone was with her to appreciate this milestone. She took Jenna’s hand and moved it to where she’d felt the first kick. Nothing. “Come on, sweetie. Kick again for Jenna.”

In a few moments, there was another gentle nudge. “Man, Lily, that’s the best.” She moved her hand a bit and waited. “Oh, I felt that, too.”

“Looks like one isn’t going to be outdone by the other.”

The bell over the door sounded again and in walked Simon. He stopped short when he saw his daughter close to Lily on the couch. “Jenna, what are you doing here?”

“I came for lunch. You weren’t around, so I had soup with Lily.”

He checked his watch. “I see. You’d better get going.”

“Dad, she drew me. And then I felt the babies kick. It was so awesome.”

His face softened. “Which? The drawing or the kicking?”

“Both. Come look.”

Crossing to the couch, he stood behind them. He was so close, the scent of him practically surrounded Lily. Aftershave? Soap? “Hmm. Very nice. You’re good, Lily. What’s your background?”

“I was an art and design major in college.”

“Not much call for that in Mayberry.”

“I…”

The phone rang and Lily rose from the couch. “I’ll get it.”

“No, I will. You can go home now.”

“Dad?” Jenna had obviously caught the rudeness, too. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sure.” He answered the phone. “Hello? Oh, yes, Mrs. Billings. She’s here. I guess it’s all right if you talk to her.” He held out the receiver. “You’re drumming up quite a fan club.”

Lily shrugged and ruffled Jenna’s hair. “I hope to see you soon.”

“I loved feeling the babies move. Do you know what they are?”

She took the phone, but before she spoke into it she grinned at Jenna. “Yep, one of each.”

“Isn’t that great, Daddy?” Jenna said.

“Great,” Simon said, staring at Lily. “Just great.”

DEREK WAKEFIELD rolled over in bed and reached for Liliana. When he came up with only a handful of silk duvet, he grunted. Gradually, he came awake to the smell of stale booze. There was a putrid taste in his mouth.

“Aw, shit,” he said, burying his face in his pillow. As awareness dawned, he began to crave another drink. Slowly, he opened one eye and stared at the clock until it came into focus. Noon. What day was it?

Sighing, he turned onto his back, and his stomach pitched. The bright sun slanted in from the skylight and hurt his eyes. Liliana liked spring afternoons—maybe he’d take her to the park. She looked so cute in that straw sun hat he’d bought her in the Caribbean.

Then he remembered. Liliana wasn’t here. She’d left in the middle of the night a week ago. Why had she done that? He had a vague recollection of something…her walking in…something happened. His head began to pound when he thought about it too hard.

The phone rang and he dragged a pillow over his head to block out the sound. When it persisted, he picked up the bedroom extension. “’ello.”

“Derek, it’s me.”

“Hello, Mother.”

“Are you all right?”

Sighing, he hoisted himself up and stuffed a pillow behind him. “I’m fine.”

“You missed a meeting with vendors this morning.”

“I did?”

“Listen, darling, I know you’re upset that Liliana left, though I think it might be for the best. But your father isn’t happy about your not showing up.”

“I’m sorry, Mother.” For a lot of things. Not the least of which was the wreckage he came face-to-face with when he looked around the bedroom. The desk chair was on its side. A lamp lay broken on the floor. A wastebasket was tipped over, its contents tumbling out onto the floor.

And several pictures of him and Liliana were smashed into pieces. He must have lost it last night. Damn, why did she have to leave him? He couldn’t function without her.

You couldn’t function with her, either.

He swore vilely.

“Derek!”

“Sorry, Mother. I stubbed my toe. What were you saying?”

“Would you like me to come over there? I could cancel my nail appointment. I know Liliana didn’t appreciate my visits, but now that she’s gone…”

He rubbed a hand over his jaw. God—days of growth. He could smell himself, too, and it wasn’t pleasant. “No, Mother. I’m going to shower and head over to the office.”

“Placate your father, dear.”

“All right. I’ll talk to you later.”

He hung up and surveyed the room again.

No wonder Liliana had left him.