Читать книгу Pushing the Limits - Кэти Макгэрри, Katie McGarry - Страница 20

Stage one of Operation Read My File consisted of my father, Ashley and me waiting for Mrs. Collins to call us in for our meeting. My father stood in the corner, speaking harshly to someone on the other end of his BlackBerry while Ashley and I sat next to each other on the row of chairs.

Ashley flung her hand over her stomach. “Oh. Oh, Echo, the baby kicked.”

“You can come in now,” called Mrs. Collins.

I flew out of my seat. “Thank God.” For months, Ashley had bored everyone with endless baby chatter. Okay, maybe not everyone. My father hung on her every word like she was Paul preaching the gospel. He’d never paid this much attention to my mother. If he had, I wouldn’t be the school freak.

Three weeks ago, Mrs. Collins had begun the term wearing business suits and then jeans and a nice shirt on casual Fridays. Each week casual Friday moved up a day. Today, Tuesday was the new Friday. From behind her desk, she flashed her never-ending smile. “Mr. and Mrs. Emerson, how wonderful to see you, but our group session is next week.”

With eyebrows raised, my father sent a questioning glance to Ashley, who sat stunned with her mouth open. “No. The family calendar clearly stated …”

I cut her off. “I told them to come this week.”

Mrs. Collins did that weird thing where she shifted her entire mouth to the right. “I know we had a rough session last week, but did you really think you needed to bring bodyguards?”

“Echo?” My father asked. “What happened last week?”

My heart squeezed and dropped. His concern sounded real. I’d give anything if it was. I stood and walked to the window. Students mingled in the parking lot before heading home. This session had the possibility of stinking as much as last week’s. “Something good.”

“That’s fantastic. This family needs good news.” Ashley’s perky voice grated like sandpaper against my skin. “I read in a magazine that babies can sense negativity.”

A car pulled out of its spot, revealing Noah sitting on the hood of his rusting car next to some guy with lots of earrings and tattoos and biker chick Beth. His two friends stared at me when he gave me his mischievous grin. His friends gave me the creeps. Noah’s smile gave me flutters.

Not that I should have flutters for Noah Hutchins. I was dating Luke, not him—that is if you called Luke’s one-sided nighttime phone conversations and a single awkward group outing to the local pizza place dating.

I sighed and shook Luke out of my head. Noah and I had made a deal and I intended to uphold my end of the bargain. The plan was simple: I needed to push back my appointment so he could move his session from the morning to my current afternoon slot. With our appointment times near each other, one of us would distract Mrs. Collins while the other snuck a peek at the files.

“Echo?” my father prodded, the hint of concern still present. “What’s good?”

Inhaling deeply to calm the nerves squeezing my stomach, I turned to face him. I loathed confrontation and I hated confrontation with my father more. “Why didn’t you tell me I won the Governor’s Cup?”

“Excuse me?” No concern left in my father’s tone now.

A twinge of hurt joined the nerves. Why, on top of everything else, did he take art away from me, too? “I wanted to win so badly. You could have at least told me that much.”

Mrs. Collins eyed me warily and kept her hands folded on her lap. I expected her to jump in and defend herself, but she remained annoyingly cool. Ashley placed her hand over my father’s. “Owen?” Was that guilt flickering in her blue eyes?

Scaring the crap out of me, he turned an unusual color of gray. “You remember?” His eyes grew round, making him look lost and terribly sad.

I thought he wanted me to remember. My forehead wrinkled in confusion. Wasn’t that the point of all this therapy?

Gray turned to red as he faced Mrs. Collins. “This is unacceptable. We saw two psychiatrists and had three separate psychological evaluations. Each of them had a different opinion of how to proceed, but after her breakdown, every single one of them told us to leave that day alone. I knew when you asked for that ribbon to put in this room we should have opted out of your program. How could you force her to remember?”

“I didn’t force anything, Mr. Emerson. I simply placed the ribbon on the desk during her sessions. It’s called desensitizing. Her mind decided it was safe to remember, so she did.”

Springing from his chair, my father ran a hand through his hair. “My God, Echo. Why didn’t you tell me earlier? You have to understand …”

“Mr. Emerson, stop!” Mrs. Collins tried to keep her voice level, but I felt the slight urgency in her tone. “She only remembered receiving the ribbon. That’s all.”

My father’s chest rose and fell rapidly. He reminded me of one of those paper bags people blow into during a panic attack. Then, as if to prove the impossible possible, he pulled me into him and hugged me. One of his arms wound around my back. His other hand cradled my head against him. I stood stiff.

Yet I felt warm. Secure. Safe. Like when I was a child and my mother spiraled into an episode and I was scared. Memories of my mother wide-eyed, yelling incoherently, her wild, red hair falling from a ponytail filled my mind. I used to run to my father and he would hold me—just like this. He protected me and kept me safe. I listened to his heart beating and I almost allowed myself to hug him back. Stilettos clicked against the floor when Ashley fidgeted.

Unbelievable pain stung my heart and I pushed him away. “You chose her.”

My father held a hand out to me, his mouth hanging open. “What?”

“You chose Ashley. She weaseled her way into our home and she tore our family apart. You chose her over us.”

“Echo, no. It wasn’t like that.” Ashley’s plea was pathetic and fake. “I loved you and then I fell in love with your dad. Your parents’ marriage was over way before the divorce.”

My foot tapped the floor. Liar. She was a liar. “Yes, because of you.”

“We’re going home. This is a family matter.” My father reached for his jacket and Ashley stood. “Mrs. Collins, I appreciate the state’s willingness to place Echo in your program, but I believe it’s best if my family seeks private counseling someplace else.”

I panicked. In the parking lot, Noah was waiting for his turn to set our plan into motion. So far, I’d failed miserably. My father needed to stay until I accomplished my goal. In theory, I had one ally in this room. “Mrs. Collins?”

She gave me a nod. “Mr. and Mrs. Emerson, with all due respect this is exactly the kind of matter that should be discussed here.”

My father held out Ashley’s coat for her. “I’m capable of deciding what’s appropriate for my family. My divorce from my ex-wife and my marriage to Ashley have nothing to do with Echo’s memory loss.”

“I beg to differ. They’re issues Echo needs to deal with.”

Oh, God. They were going to leave and I’d never learn what happened to me. I had to say something to keep them in the room. “I like her.”

All three adults froze. “That’s why I brought you here.” I focused on the words I’d practiced since Noah and I had come up with the plan. “I wanted to tell you that I like the job Mrs. Collins found for me and that I’m done lying to her. I’m not fine and I’m not happy at home. I like her and I want to keep seeing her.”

And oddly enough, I didn’t blink.

Mrs. Collins’s lips turned up, the exact reaction I hoped for. In order for Noah’s plan to work, she needed to think I trusted her. Now, if I could build a time machine, go back to twenty minutes ago, and stop myself from telling my father how I really felt, my plan would be back on track. Telling Ashley off felt good, but that only disappointed my father. I sighed. In an effort to make this up to him, I’d be the only college freshman still attempting a perfect ACT score.

“I’m sorry, Daddy. I was out of line.” Ugh. I’d rather eat cockroaches than say this. “And you, too, Ashley. My comments to you were rude.” But true.

My father nodded and finished helping Ashley into her coat. “I don’t blame you, Echo.” He stared at Mrs. Collins, making it perfectly clear who he blamed for my outburst. “If you want to keep seeing Mrs. Collins then I’ll let you. On a trial basis only. That means these next few sessions will be scrutinized.”

Ashley rubbed her baby bump. “I’m glad you’re making progress, Echo. It was a wonderful day when you got that ribbon. It was the first time I ever felt like the three of us were a real family.”

“Why wasn’t my mom there?” Silence. Ashley’s hand froze mid-rub and my father stood motionless. I continued, “You said three. Mom would have never let you squeeze her out of that moment. She loved my paintings. She encouraged me more than the two of you combined.”

The black hole pulsed in my head and a faint memory squeezed out. “I invited her to the ceremony and she accepted.”

My mother’s overly excited voice filled my head. “I wouldn’t miss it, my little goddess.”

“You’re asking good questions, Echo, and I’m thrilled that you want to keep working with me. But I think we’ve had enough for today,” Mrs. Collins said, bringing me back to the present. “We can pick this up in another session.”

Speaking of another session … I was veering off course again. I had to set up Noah. “Daddy, there’s one more thing.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, no doubt praying for the day I would be off to college and out of his house. Then he could focus all of his attention on his new family—the replacement family. “Yes?”

“If it’s okay with Mrs. Collins, I want to move my counseling sessions back an hour. I’m thinking of rejoining the dance team or at least helping them with their routines.”

Ashley beamed and I considered taking the statement back if only to annoy her. The worry lines around my father’s eyes lessened and his mouth actually hinted at a smile. “Of course. Do you need money for a new outfit or costume?” He pulled his wallet out and held toward me green dollars with zeros.

I shook my head and smiled a little. I’d made my father happy. Part of me flew high in the sky. “No. No, thanks. I have plenty of stuff to practice in and I’m not sure about the costume thing yet. I may not even compete.”

“Take it anyhow—in case you need it.” He bounced his hand insistently. I took the cash, feeling a little ashamed and guilty. I’d never intended to rejoin the dance team—it was an excuse for Noah to rearrange his appointment time to my slot. Now, I had to accept Natalie’s offer. If rejoining the dance team made my father smile at me and not at Ashley for a few minutes, I’d do it.

“Echo, would you mind leaving me and Ashley alone with Mrs. Collins? There are some things I’d like to discuss.”

Uh—no. I hoped Mrs. Collins would tell my father whatever he had to say to her could be said in front of me, but no such luck. “Why don’t you wait in the main office? I’d like to schedule our next appointment before you leave.”

I shut the door behind me. With the staff gone for the day, the main office sat eerily quiet.

“Is it working?”

Startled, I knocked over a cup of pens on the counter. Noah leaned against the door frame, laughing.

I busied myself with picking them up. “I think so. My dad and Ashley are on board with me moving my time back, but Mrs. Collins hasn’t committed yet. Though I think I just rejoined the dance team. What are you doing here?”

“It’s cold outside and warm in here.”

Having nothing left to fidget with, I rested against the counter and tried not to stare at Noah. But I wanted to. He had his jacket off and his black T-shirt fit him perfectly. Today, during lunch, Grace had turned her nose up when she spotted the bottom of his tattoo on his right bicep. I’d silently agreed with Lila’s comment—yum.

My insides had melted when Noah produced his wicked grin and gazed at me like I was naked. Luke used to give me butterflies. Noah spawned mutant pterodactyls.

A cabinet door clicked closed in Mrs. Collins’s office and jolted me back to reality. “But what if Mrs. Collins sees you? We shouldn’t be seen together.”

He chuckled. “You’re my tutor, remember? She expects to see us together. Besides, I didn’t show for my session this morning and she sent me a note informing me that I was to come as soon as possible.” He held out his hands. “So here I am.”

“When did you get the note?”

“First period.”

I sucked in air. “And you’re just now showing up?” I couldn’t imagine missing a session, much less disregarding a request from an adult.

“It’s all part of the plan, Echo. Chill.”

Tapping my foot against the floor, I regarded the closed door. “You think she knows we’re up to something?”

Noah crossed the room. The back of my neck exploded in heat when his body brushed mine. In a movement so nonchalant, it signaled he was impervious to temperatures only known in the Sahara Desert, he leaned his hip against the counter. He rubbed one of my curls between his thumb and forefinger. “You are paranoid. I’m glad you didn’t get high with me. You’d be a major downer.” He let the curl drop.

I folded my hands across my chest, attempted to ignore the warmth filling my cheeks, and said as dryly as I could, “Thanks.” Nothing increased your confidence level like being insulted by a stoner.

Keeping time with my foot, my fingers drummed against my sleeve.

“What are you worked up about?”

“My dad and Ashley are in there with Mrs. Collins discussing me.”

Noah picked up a phone from behind the counter. “Wanna hear what they’re saying? I’ve watched Mrs. Marcos do this plenty of times. Mrs. Collins’s phone is screwed up and it doesn’t make the beeping noise anymore, so Mrs. Marcos has to introduce herself quickly.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but Noah gently placed two warm fingers against my lips. He raised an eyebrow and flashed a pirate smile. “Shh.”

He removed his fingers, leaving my lips cold, and pushed buttons on the speakerphone. Adrenaline pumped in my blood and my head felt featherlight. I’d never done anything so wrong in my life. In order to hear better, I leaned in closer.

My father was speaking. “… don’t understand. If Echo wants to discuss her feelings regarding the divorce with you, that’s one thing. I’ll support any efforts to help her repair her relationship with Ashley. But you need to leave the rest alone. She’s obviously back on track. She makes straight A’s. She’s active in several clubs and rejoining the dance team.”

“Owen’s right,” Ashley said. “Socially, Echo is doing beautifully. She’s going out with her friends, talking on the phone and texting. She and Luke are dating again. It’s like she’s finally fitting back into her old skin.”

“What Ashley and I are trying to get at,” my father added, “is that Echo is becoming Echo again. Child Protective Services was right to get involved after what happened, but now, it’s overkill. Her mother is no longer an issue. Echo has this new job and, I’ll admit, you were right. Working toward repairing the car has given her a healthy way to grieve Aires. Therapy was needed when she couldn’t cope, but Echo is no longer simply coping. She’s living.”

“And her memory loss?” asked Mrs. Collins. “The nightmares? Her insomnia? The fact that Echo refuses to expose her arms to anyone?”

My stomach churned. I craved my father’s answer, but to my utter mortification, Noah Hutchins had already heard too much. I reached out to disconnect the line, but Noah shook his head and placed a steady hand on my back.

Dizzy from nerves, I swayed to the right. Noah took a small step toward me while guiding me into him using gentle pressure on my back. I shouldn’t be touching him, but I wanted to hear the answer and I needed someone to lean on. Just one time—this one moment only—would I rely on him. I allowed my muscles to relax when he combed his fingers through the curls hanging near my shoulder blades.