Читать книгу As You Lay Sleeping - Katlyn Duncan - Страница 17

Chapter 6

The services for Joe took place later that week. My parents and I stayed for most of the wake. The funeral home was packed with people in support of the Blair family. Joe’s family members, whom I’d got to know over the years at holidays and other celebrations, approached me and hugged me. I offered condolences, while they did the same.

My parents were only children, so we didn’t have a big family. Ever since I entered the inner circle of the Blair family, I always looked forward to these events that I’d never be able to experience in my own family. Mom, Dad, and Madison seemed content with this, but I never did. They were happy enough to be small while I always had the yearning for more. It was a distinct divide in our family but there was nothing I could do.

It had already been raining for some time when I woke up the morning of the funeral. The sky was gray and thick clouds blocked any sun from peeking through. The leaves on the trees were slick with rain and twitched as the rain picked up again.

At the church, I sat with my parents and Madison. Rachael and Brittany had managed to get seats together and with their parents. Mom had insisted we show up early to get a seat together. As she suspected, the church filled quickly and soon enough there were people standing behind the last pew.

It didn’t matter that I was separated from my friends, it wasn’t as if we could socialize during the service. We’d meet up at the reception later.

At the cemetery, my parents, Madison, and I squeezed under one umbrella. I had a consistent trail of rain assaulting my head the entire time. And, by the time I got into Dad’s Jeep, I was soaked and sweaty from the heat. I shoved back my damp hair, which had been wild and frizzy that morning. I didn’t prefer either look. I worked my fingers through my hair and started to braid it.

The gentle patter of the raindrops against the plastic window accelerated as a loud boom of thunder rumbled in the distance.

Mom and Dad got into the car and Mom’s perfume filled the small space. She opened the glove compartment to retrieve a travel-sized pouch of tissues. She blotted the damp bags under her eyes and sniffled. She offered the tissues to Madison and me.

Most of the black-clad mourners were already in their cars and off to the reception. Streaks of water distorted the view through the window. One person was left at the service even after the priest had gone. He or she wore a long, dark trench coat and had a small, cheap-looking umbrella that bowed under the weight of the rain. A gloved hand placed the final rose atop the coffin.

I shivered as the cool air from the air conditioner struck me, turning my attention away from the coffin, and I said my final goodbye to Joe.

The reception was held in the ballroom of a country club that the Blairs belonged to, a place I’d been to only a handful of times. The exclusivity for members was lifted only for certain events.

Cream-colored gathered fabric billowed from the ceiling. The edges cascaded down to the spaces between the large French doors open to the stone patio and golf course. The rain pattering against the stone brought a more somber tone to the normally breathtaking view. Plush leather chairs outlined the dozen or so tables filling the room.

In the minutes from the cemetery to the reception, Rachael and Brittany had changed into black frilly party dresses instead of their more church-appropriate attire. I noticed their hairstyles were different, too. I assumed the humidity and rain had done the same tricks to their hair as they had mine. Rachael’s thick black hair was braided in a fishtail, while Brittany had a caramel-colored bun at the top of her head. I suddenly felt overdressed and plain compared with them, a feeling I hadn’t had in quite some time.

Rachael looped her arm with mine and we went in search of Kat. I tried to walk off the wetness in my shoes, which made an embarrassing squeaking sound as I walked. Thankfully neither of the girls commented on it. Last year, I’d found the shoes on an online bargain store. They were almost identical to a pair that Kat had that were almost triple the price.

Kat leaned against the bar, the string of diamond earrings pulling at her earlobes. They were a gift from her mother a few Christmases ago. She pulled them out only for special occasions. If they were mine, I would have locked them in a safe for fear of losing such an expensive present.

She sipped from a martini glass and placed it on the bar, signaling the bartender for another round. He eyed her suspiciously but said nothing when she glared at him.

From working parties at the inn, I knew that look. He wondered if being fired over carding her would be worth her wrath. He made the better choice.

She saw us coming and tossed back the drink and handed the glass to her cousin. I think his name was Brad. I’d met him only once before. His leering expression, aimed at us, made me want to gag.

“I need to get out of here,” Kat said, brushing past us.

We followed her into the hallway. Several people offered her condolences on the way out and she politely greeted them. Kat’s pace picked up, her heels clacking against the marble floor. The three of us struggled to keep up with her.

She turned the corner onto a carpeted floor—my feet silently thanked her—and pushed her way into another room.

Inside was a sitting room with gaudy floral wallpaper. I assumed we were in an older part of the country club. Kat plopped down on a settee and draped her arm over her forehead.

I sat next to her and Rachael and Brittany sat on a smaller loveseat across the room.

“How’re you doing?” I asked.

“How do you think I’m doing?” Kat snapped. She sighed and dropped her arm. “This whole situation is a freakin’ drag. I wish this part would be over.”

“I know,” I said, and gave a look to the other girls to say something to Kat. If a situation didn’t involve heavy partying, they needed to be nudged.

“We should do something fun!” Brittany said. “To take your mind off everything.”

I cringed.

Kat’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “My brother is dead, Britt. This isn’t supposed to be fun.”

“I meant—”

“Just stop,” Kat said.

I touched Kat’s shoulder and she jumped up to standing. She crossed the room to the bank of mirrors on the wall. She dug into her clutch and pulled out a small pink tube, then smeared a new coat of gloss over her lips.

I gave the girls a look and both of them stood at the same time and rushed over to Kat. I quickly fell into step.

“I know I’m being a brat.” Kat placed her hands on the counter and looked at us through the mirror. “It’s just tough, you know? Joe may have been an annoying big brother but he was mine.”

“We understand,” Rachael said.

Kat rolled her eyes. “You don’t understand: you’re an only child.”

I sensed another freak-out. Kat always pushed us away when she was upset. It was one of her consistent traits, heightened this time by Joe’s death.

“I have to pee,” I blurted. “Kat?”

Kat grabbed my arm and pulled me into the attached bathroom and closed the door behind us.

I was surprised Rachael and Brittany picked up on the hint and stayed away.

I went into the first stall and sat.

Kat remained outside the stall facing the mirror behind the bank of sinks. “Only children don’t understand.”

A choked sob from Kat made me finish up more quickly.

I came out of the stall and washed my hands and gauged my friend—the ticking time bomb. Kat wasn’t the touchy-feely type, so I didn’t offer a hug. She needed emotional support and I would be there for her. A tiny thrill came over me that she hadn’t snapped at me yet. Having a sister put me on a higher pedestal in Kat’s current state of mind.

“I still don’t get it,” Kat said.

I grabbed several paper towels and dried my hands. “What do you mean?”

She turned to face me. “Joe going over the edge like that. I don’t get it.” I turned to the trash basket, avoiding her eyes. “Why didn’t you do more to stop him?”

I dropped the towels into the trash and slowly turned to face her. “What?”

“Everyone except my clueless parents knew he liked to party. But he’d have no reason to if you were a better girlfriend.”

I blinked a few times. This had to be some sort of joke.

Kat wasn’t smiling. Her eyes were clearer than I’d seen in days. Realization flooded me and a sick feeling pooled in my stomach.

She planned this conversation and I’d given her the perfect opportunity.

“Joe did what he wanted,” I said. “That’s not my fault.”

“You could have stopped him. He listened to you. You might as well have killed him yourself.”

“Kat, that’s—”

“Don’t act so surprised. He told me you’ve been avoiding him while I was away.”

I took a breath. “I needed a break.”

Her lips quirked. “And the truth comes out.”

“What truth?”

“I had a feeling you were only with him to get in good with us.”

“That’s ridiculous I—” I swallowed, unable to finish my sentence. For a second, I felt the same as Brittany and Rachael did several minutes ago with Kat’s cutting glare slicing me at the knees. I wanted to crawl under the sink until the reception was over.

Kat had a similar thought. “I think you should go.”

I didn’t have a response. It wasn’t until she left the room and I heard the door close that I knew I was no longer wanted.