Читать книгу Burning Desire - Kayla Perrin - Страница 11

Chapter 2

Sabrina Crawford stared at the photo of Mason Foley on the screen of her Mac computer. It was a candid shot of him, taken while he was standing over a stove in the firehouse. He had been caught midlaugh, and the photo seemed to capture a confident and playful nature about him.

He was the next firefighter scheduled to come in for a photo shoot for the calendar she was working on with the Ocean City Fire Department. As she had done before each firefighter came into her studio, Sabrina checked out a candid shot of the man in order to get ideas on how best to utilize him in the shoot. Usually something about the man’s eyes, smile or expression would lead to inspiration in terms of what kind of pictures she would take of him.

But right now, her mind wasn’t coming up with any ideas. How could it, when all she could think about was the letter she’d received?

Glancing at the letter, which she had discarded on her desk, Sabrina swallowed. A painful lump lodged in her throat as she picked the letter up and decided to read it a second time.

Sabrina,

I am taking the time to write this letter because you are clueless. Why on earth would you think that I would ever want to hear from you? You have done enough to destroy my family. The fact that you can’t even figure that out shows the kind of person you are. Selfish and horrible.

For once in your life, think about someone other than yourself! You need to stay away from me and my family. Forever. Never try to contact me again, you pitiful excuse for a human being. If you don’t heed this warning, I will have to involve the authorities.

I am being as nice as I possibly can given your harassment, but none of us is interested in having anything to do with you.

You should never have been born!

Sabrina felt the same way she had when she’d read the letter half an hour earlier—as though someone had ripped her heart out of her chest. Because although the letter was unsigned, she knew who had sent it. And after simply trying to reach out to her, this awful letter was the last thing Sabrina had expected. The words made her out to be some sort of evil person. And even though she knew she wasn’t the words still stung.

Especially the part about how she never should have been born. Given the circumstances under which she had come into the world that comment truly hurt.

Sabrina picked up the tension ball on her desk hoping that the stress from the back of her neck would transfer to the ball. All she had done was reach out to her sister on Facebook. She hadn’t expected such a painful and rude rejection.

Though maybe she should have. Because not once in her thirty-three years had Julia and Patrick—her half siblings—ever reached out to her. Sabrina was certain that they hadn’t known of her existence for several years—as she hadn’t known about them. But for the past fifteen years at least, they knew of her. Knew of her, but wanted nothing to do with her.

When Sabrina had turned eighteen, her father decided to finally introduce her to his other children. She had been nervous but hopeful. But those hopes were quickly shot down when Julia and Patrick had said less than two words upon meeting her. They’d made it clear that they wanted nothing to do with her, and that hadn’t changed over the years.

It didn’t take a psychologist to figure out why. Sabrina was a child of their father, conceived in an adulterous relationship. And for that reason, it seemed that they would never accept her.

It had been a huge shock to learn she had siblings, and Sabrina was sure that they were just as stunned to learn of her existence. But Sabrina acknowledged that for them, the situation had to be harder. Discovering the truth of their father’s betrayal wasn’t easy to accept.

Perhaps if Sabrina had never pressed the issue, she would have never known the truth about her father. But when the standard “Your father isn’t in your life” answers weren’t enough for her, her mother had finally told her the truth. That her father didn’t live with them because he had another family. And how that family wasn’t interested in getting to know her. Those had been hard words to accept at the age of thirteen, but Sabrina hadn’t been concerned about people she didn’t know. She’d been concerned about her father. And having another family or not, she hadn’t been able to understand why he never saw her. There were other kids at her school whose parents had gone on to marry other people, but they still spent time with both parents.

Sabrina had bombarded her mother with questions about her father, and finally at the age of fifteen, her mother revealed his identity. Sabrina had been excited to find out that her father was Gerald Parker. A man her mother had been able to show her articles of in the paper, and stories about on the news. At the time she’d learned of his identity, her father had been a city councilor running for mayor. The father she had always dreamed about, had always wanted in her life, was famous. That reality had filled Sabrina with pride.

Sabrina could still remember the feeling of nervous hopefulness when her mother had arranged for her to meet him. But all the hopes and expectations she’d had of him had shattered after they’d met. Because the hope that he would become a constant figure in her life proved only to be the wishful thinking of a young girl. Even during their first meeting, Gerald Parker had seemed uncomfortable around her, and Sabrina had been smart enough to know that it wasn’t simply because it was their first meeting. After that, their interactions were few and far between. He made sure to send her gifts on special occasions, but what Sabrina had wanted was his presence in her life.

As an adult, Sabrina came to understand why her mother hadn’t pushed for her father to be a part of her life. Her mother knew that he would ultimately hurt her by choosing his family over her every time. For one thing, Gerald feared that the secret about his affair and illegitimate child would come out and ruin his career in politics. But Sabrina’s mother, Evelyn, had never tried to do anything to hurt the man she had clearly loved. She hadn’t even given Sabrina his last name, to keep anyone from learning the truth. Gerald’s wife, Marilyn, who had stayed by his side despite his infidelity, wasn’t able to accept the very real proof of her husband’s bad behavior. At least that was what Sabrina’s mother had always told her. The very few times she had seen her father proved to her the theory was true.

Sabrina hoped that her siblings—her sister in particular—might be open to a relationship with her. But clearly, that was wishful thinking.

Sabrina folded the letter, put it back in its envelope and tossed it in the top drawer of her desk. She should throw it out...but she would keep it as a reminder of how pointless it was to reach out to the family that wanted nothing to do with her.

Sighing, Sabrina rubbed both of her temples. As she and her mother got older, she was able to picture a future without any real family to call her own. There were cousins in upstate New York, a far cry from Ocean City where she lived. They may as well have been strangers to her. Her father and her half siblings were in the Ocean City area and Sabrina saw it as a real tragedy that she was basically banned from getting to know them.

Hadn’t enough time passed to prove to Marilyn that Sabrina’s mother was no longer a threat? Her mother and father had been involved thirty-four years ago. More than enough time for Marilyn Parker to put aside her gripes on getting to know Sabrina.

Through social media, Sabrina had hoped that reaching out to her sister would be the way to connect to the family that she always wanted to get to know. Neither she nor her siblings were accountable for her father’s actions. They were innocent, not responsible for the way they had come into the world. Sabrina had hoped that after so many years, her siblings would be curious to get to know her and forge a relationship.

“Hey,” Nya said softly, peaking her head into the office. “Can I come in?”

Sabrina looked up at her office assistant and best friend, whom she had known since high school.

“Sure,” Sabrina told Nya.

“Well?” Nya asked cautiously as she walked into the office. “I figure if it was good news, you would have told me. I’ve been patiently waiting, giving you time. But now I’m figuring you might need a hug.”

“She wants nothing to do with me,” Sabrina said simply.

Nya sat in the chair opposite Sabrina’s desk. “That’s all she said?”

“Her language was a bit more colorful.”

Nya searched Sabrina’s desk. “Where’s the letter? Did you throw it out?”

“I should have. But I put it in my desk.”

“Can I read it?”

Sabrina opened the desk and retrieved the letter, and then passed it to Nya. Her best friend for fifteen years, Sabrina shared everything with Nya. She couldn’t really talk to her mother about this, because her mother would surely say I told you so. Especially since her mother had told her for years that her father’s family would never come around.

Nya withdrew the letter from the envelope. Sabrina could tell when she got to the more vile parts because her eyes began to bulge.

“Oh, my God. This is her reply?”

“Like I said, it’s obvious that she wants nothing to do with me.”

“Still, this isn’t the way to respond to people. I saw the message you sent her on Facebook. You were very polite. Overly polite. It did not call for this kind of a response.”

Sabrina nodded. She realized she was gritting her teeth, and made a deliberate attempt to relax her jaw, shoulders, and the rest of her body. “Obviously, there’s nothing I can do about this. I held this dream for too long.”

“Well, I say forget them.” Nya shoved the letter back into the envelope. “You don’t get to choose your family, but thankfully, you do get to choose your friends.” She beamed, and gestured to herself. “And this friend would love to take you out for dinner and drinks tonight so we can forget this letter ever arrived. What do you say?”

“I don’t know, Nya. I was kind of thinking I would just chill out tonight. Probably watch one of those Chevy Chase movies to remind me that families are overrated.” She smiled, but knew it had come off as forced.

“No. You are not going to stay home and wallow. Who needs Julia Parker when you have Nya Hayes? Better than any blood sister could ever be.”

Sabrina cracked a real smile this time. Nya was right about one thing, you didn’t get to choose your family. At least Sabrina had chosen wisely when she had befriended the scrawny girl with braces her senior year of high school. At the time, Nya had been new to the school, and it was hard to make friends when you were the new kid. Sabrina knew something about feeling as though you didn’t fit in, and she and Nya had become fast friends. Nya had since blossomed into a beautiful woman—with perfect teeth.

Nya was still looking for love, like Sabrina. So Sabrina knew that as much as Nya enjoyed going out for dinner or a drink with a friend, she also hoped that she would spot her Mr. Right. And it was that part of a night out that Sabrina wasn’t looking forward to.

Sabrina loved Nya dearly, but wasn’t in the mood to hear her rate various men, nor watch her flirt. Nya was like a sister to her, but in that way, they were as different as night and day. Nya was prone to looking for love around every corner and as Sabrina sometimes joked, under every rock. But after Sabrina’s failed marriage, she wasn’t looking for any man at all.

Though, if God were to appear before her and tell her that a certain man was the right one, she wouldn’t ignore that type of divine intervention. But for now, she was happy concentrating on her work as a photographer, which kept her very busy. And in this competitive field, she didn’t have much time to think about marriage or family. She was happy to focus solely on her career and expanding her clientele.

Over the past seven years, Sabrina had created a name for herself as a skilled wedding and special events photographer. It was her reputation that had led her to get what she considered a dream assignment. She was contracted to take photos of the local firemen at Station Two in downtown Ocean City for their annual firefighter calendar fund-raiser.

“And we can make it a business meeting, if you want,” Nya said. “I would love to see the shots you’ve taken of the first five firemen.”

Sabrina looked at her friend and grinned. “I’m sure you would.” But Sabrina was funny that way. She didn’t want anyone seeing her work until she was satisfied with it. From taking the shots to determining which ones were best, she was a consummate professional who trusted her eye and her eye alone. “You know I will let you see every single shot—once I have determined which ones are the best.”

Nya frowned. “Come on. I’m a hot-blooded, single female. I think I can help you determine which shots are the best.”

“You know how I work,” Sabrina said. “Besides, if I leave it to you, you’ll have all the raciest photos in the calendar—which is not necessarily what the fire station wants.”

“Racy sells!” Nya objected. “I saw the calendar they put out last year.” She frowned. “It was okay, but it could’ve been a lot better.”

“Which is why they hired me for the job.” Sabrina had taken the initiative to go to the fire station and offer her services as photographer for the next calendar. She’d brought a portfolio of her work, had talked to them about her creative ideas to make the calendar better and assured them she could produce a stunning calendar that would sell. She had obviously impressed the powers that be at the station, because they had given her the job. And along with it, a very attractive fee.

“It’s going to be a great calendar,” Sabrina said. Over the past week and a half a handful of the firefighters had come in as their schedules allowed. Firefighter Mason Foley was scheduled to come in the next afternoon, and she was looking forward to the shoot.

She had taken photos at the fire station already, and other places. But she had something else in mind for Mason. Perhaps along a stretch of beach or someplace with a scenic background. She was glad that he had hours to spend with her because she had a few locations in mind that would highlight the beauty of Ocean City. And most importantly, the brave men who worked to keep not only fire under control, but who also rescued people in car accidents and a number of other situations. The Ocean City Fire Department was all encompassing, and fires were really only a small percentage of the job they did.

“You know you don’t want to wallow in misery on your sofa this evening, especially not before your shoot tomorrow. And what better way to keep me distracted from the eye candy in the restaurant than to show me the pictures you’ve taken so far?”

Sabrina narrowed her eyes. “Oh, you’re good.”

Nya tapped a finger against her cheek. “What better way to kill two birds with one stone? Lighten your mood, and keep me from flirting with the available men?”

That remained to be seen, but Sabrina was already sold. Why not? She made the rules, so she could certainly break a few every now and then.

“All right,” Sabrina began, “I’ll bring the laptop and let you see some of the shots I took of the first firefighter, Alex. I want to go over those with a fresh eye, anyway.”

Nya squealed. “Oh, I can’t wait!”