Читать книгу Complete Family Wealth - Keith Whitaker, James Hughes E., James E. Hughes Jr. - Страница 34

In this chapter, we will share insights on family flourishing and family enterprise. But first what do we mean by family? This is not as simple a question as may seem at first.

One of the principles that we have seen prove itself time and again in our work is that the families who flourish over time understand themselves as families of affinity.¹ A family of affinity does not limit its sense of identity to blood or genetic lineage. It sees itself as linked by a common mission and a sense of “differentness.” It recognizes the paradox that acting altruistically—for the sake of others’ good—is key to the family's own well-being. Families of affinity add members through marriage and partnership; spiritual relationships (such as godparents); mentorship; friendship; and shared service, as in business or philanthropy. Families of affinity also include trusted advisers who have come to know the family members through years of service and who have proven that they seek the family's best interest.

How can you encourage your family to think in terms of affinity rather than blood? To take some small but powerful examples, when the families of affinity that we know have a family meeting, they often put the last names of both parents—patriarch and matriarch—atop the agenda. And they spend time honoring the stories of other “married-ins,” to remind everyone that the family tree has many roots. Such actions affirm that the family's first principle is inclusion.

A family of affinity rarely arises on its own. Usually it takes years or even generations to cultivate. That cultivation begins with being clear about the goal. As you begin this journey, ask yourself:

 Who in my family shares this vision of family based on affinity rather than blood?

 Who are the members of my family of affinity?

 Who could be potential members of my family of affinity?