Читать книгу The Complete Red-Hot And Historical Collection - Ким Лоренс, Kelly Hunter - Страница 58

ROWAN WOKE BEFORE DAWN. Her body knew her routine as well as her brain did. The hard and heavy weight against her side was Jared West, and his eyes opened to slits when she began to extricate herself from him.

At some point not long after his second orgasm she’d untied him. It had come as no surprise at all to her that he’d immediately gathered her to him and slid into her again, his mouth on hers, slow and coaxing, his hands everywhere, reverent and gentle. Still all about skin on skin … He hadn’t seemed to be able to get enough, but his gaze had been sated and slumberous as he’d brought her to orgasm this time with nothing more than his fingers and the feel of him. And he had followed moments later, cursing and shuddering and making her feel more cherished and wanted than she’d ever been.

He was quite something.

Rowan pressed a kiss to the curve of his shoulder in a silent thank you and he smiled just a little bit, his eyes drifting closed again.

‘Time for me to get gone,’ she murmured. She still needed to shower and drop by her place for another set of clothes before she went to work. ‘Go back to sleep.’

‘I’ll take you home,’ he mumbled, still all sleep-mussed and relaxed.

‘Stay. I’ll grab a taxi.’

‘I’m taking you wherever you want to go. Don’t argue.’

It was hard to argue with a sleep-sweet man. ‘Stubborn.’

‘I like to call it determined.’

She trailed her fingers over his outstretched arm and watched his body respond as if he’d been made for her touch. Heady stuff, but it wasn’t real. The state he was in at the moment he’d respond that way to anyone with half a clue about the kind of release he needed. She shouldn’t read anything into it.

‘May I shower here?’ she asked him.

‘You don’t need to ask.’ His eyes had opened to slits again. ‘Did you read anywhere that I’m not a morning person?’

‘No, but I’m observant.’

‘Coffee, Ro. Coffee’s the solution.’

‘Or you could go back to sleep?’

She patted his hand and slipped from the bed.

The bathroom was full of the kind of expensive shower gels and moisturisers that Ro adored. The shower rose was as big as a dinner plate and delivered enough pressure to make her groan. She felt well used this morning, a little tender in places as she sluiced up and washed away the remnants of last night’s lovemaking.

She looked in the mirror once she’d finished and saw a slight woman with small breasts, slender hips, and a funny face that had always been unique rather than beautiful. She leaned closer and looked into her eyes and felt every single one of her forty years. No make-up, just pale porcelain skin and lines of responsibility etched around her eyes and between her brows.

Too old for him, a nagging voice whispered, and she couldn’t silence it.

She was too caught up in her work to have any sort of meaningful relationship. Last night … Jared West … she’d known what he’d needed, that was all, and she’d offered a mutually beneficial exchange, seeing as their wants and needs had coincided.

Why, then, did last night feel like such a precious gift?

He was up and moving when she came out of the bathroom wearing yesterday’s clothes and a dusting of make-up. He had his jeans on and his shirt in hand and he smiled and slipped past her on his way to the bathroom.

‘Give me five minutes,’ he murmured.

She should leave.

Instead she headed for the kitchenette and finished what he’d started when it came to the making of coffee. It wasn’t going to be particularly good coffee, mind, but the little machine was doing its best and she was grateful for it.

Jared joined her a few minutes later, and the expression of pure appreciation on his face would have been gratifying indeed had it been directed at her rather than at the beverage.

‘Thanks,’ he muttered when she pushed the mug towards him.

‘My pleasure.’ She smiled wryly. ‘How do you feel this morning?’

He took his time answering. ‘Quiet. Empty. I slept. You? How do you feel?’

Rowan held steady under the sudden intensity of his gaze. ‘Responsible,’ she offered truthfully. ‘Wary.’

She watched his gaze harden.

‘You don’t need to be either of those things.’

‘Grateful,’ she said next, and sipped her coffee and studied him over the rim of the mug. He was pretty when he scowled. ‘Grateful for your trust.’

He ran his hand through his hair and for a moment he looked so lost.

‘I’m not—’ he began. ‘I’m not always like that in bed.’

‘What are you usually like?’

‘Dominant.’

‘Sometimes people switch.’

He didn’t look convinced. ‘Not me. Not often. Ro … last night was all about me, and I’m sorry, because it shouldn’t have been. What do you want out of this? What do you need?’

Now it was Rowan’s turn to feel lost and uncertain. ‘I don’t know what I want from you, or what I’m likely to need. I enjoy your company. Your body.’ And, truth be told, she enjoyed his current vulnerability.

His gaze skated to her bare upper arm. ‘I know it’s a little late, but what about pregnancy?’

‘I have long-term contraception in place.’ A lot of agents did.

‘I figured,’ he muttered. ‘Still should have checked.’

‘It wasn’t just your responsibility.’

‘Yeah.’ He ran his hand through his hair—that nervous gesture of his again. ‘Things are different with you in the mix. I’m getting that loud and clear.’

‘Is that a bad thing?’

He set his coffee down abruptly, took hers from her suddenly nerveless fingers as well. And then he framed her face and kissed her, and she felt the hunger and the desperation in him all the way to her soul. By the time he pulled back they were both breathing hard and her hunger was probably a match for his.

‘No, it’s not bad at all,’ he muttered roughly. ‘You scare the hell out of me. I scare the hell out of me. But I want more of this. Whatever this is.’ He pulled back. ‘I’m going to make some decisions today—career and lifestyle-altering decisions. I hope you’ll bear with me. I hope you’ll still want me.’

‘Jared—’ She badly wanted to see his confidence return, along with devilry and laughter. She wanted life for him, and peace. ‘I think that’s a given.’

Jared sat at his temporary desk in the open-plan cubicle that was meant to be an office and stared at the two identical reports he’d just handwritten. He’d given them everything that he’d held back the first time. Every person who’d come looking for Antonov’s wares during his time with the man, every name he knew, the connections he’d fathomed, the business framework the now-deceased arms dealer had built. Handwritten—all of it. Not a copy in existence. No cards left to play any more.

He was finished.

Management had asked him for a decision yesterday and he’d stalled them. Turned out he hadn’t needed much more time in order to make his decision after all. He didn’t have anything to pack—his desk was empty. He didn’t have anything to wipe from the computer in front of him because in the short time he’d been back he’d never used it. Save to open emails and ignore them.

He made his way up to the management office he’d been in yesterday and stopped ten feet in front of the secretary-who-wasn’t-a-secretary, waiting for her to acknowledge him.

He didn’t have to wait long.

‘Jared.’ She sounded cautious beneath the overlay of pleasant. She looked as if she knew his answer already and was simply waiting for him to voice it.

‘I have a report for you. It discloses the information I gathered during my time with Antonov. I hope it’s useful.’

She didn’t even look at the sheaf of papers he placed on the table. ‘So you’re leaving us?’

‘Yes. I like the woman you chose for me. I’m flattered that you think I could ever partner with her to run the division. I’d learn a lot from her, I think. And from you.’ He nodded towards the door on the left. ‘And from him. I respect what you do here and the skills required to do it. But the wellbeing of my family will always come first with me and every last one of my siblings is in a good place at the moment, living good lives that they’ve created for themselves. I don’t want to cut myself off from them and I don’t want to lure them into the shadow world you’re offering. My resignation is at the end of the report.’

She regarded him solemnly. ‘It’s true, this life is not for everyone. We appreciate you considering it.’ She looked at the report. ‘Would you be willing to consult with us on occasion?’

‘If it’s only my skills you want, yes. If you want access to the resources the rest of my family has access to, then no.’

‘I’ll make a note. Thank you for the report. Your resignation is effective immediately. Is there anything else?’

‘No.’ He made to take his leave.

‘Mr West? If you’re dropping by Section Five on your way out, tell Director Farringdon I’d like to see her when she has a moment.’

‘Of course.’ He hesitated. ‘Has anyone ever sat in the top job by themselves?’

‘Of course they have.’ She smiled slightly. ‘And may again.’

Rowan was on a conference call when he went to see her, according to Sam.

‘How long will she be?’

‘They’re just getting started.’

‘I only need a minute.’

‘Not possible.’ Sam eyed his duffel bag with suspicion. ‘Going somewhere?’

‘To pick up a yacht and then to my brother’s beach house. I’m done here. I resigned this morning. I need one minute with her. I want to drop something on her desk. She doesn’t even have to break her call.’

‘You’re welcome to leave whatever it is with me.’

‘I’d rather hand-deliver it. C’mon, Sam. One last indulgence and then you’ll never have to indulge me again.’

‘Uh-huh?’ she said dryly. ‘I’ll see you in. Don’t talk if she’s sitting at her desk with headphones on. Fair warning.’

‘I won’t.’

Sam opened the door to the inner sanctum for him and he walked in and saw her sitting behind the desk, headset in place and her desk covered in papers. The expression on her face was a captivating combination of intense focus and serenity—as if this world was one she enjoyed … as if she’d been shaped for it.

She’d told him she’d been working towards it since she was in her teens.

Jared smiled a little at the eyebrow she raised in his direction. He withdrew the second copy of his report and held it up for her perusal before setting it on her desk, picking up her pen and scribbling on it that there were only two such reports in existence and that Management had the other one.

She read the words, nodded, and kept right on listening. Later? she scribbled on a memo pad, and he shook his head.

Beach house for me, he scribbled back, and then, belatedly remembering, Management wants to see you when you’re free.

She frowned at him then, and spoke into the headset speaker. ‘Yes, Clayton. I understand.’

He took one more look at her, just in case it was the last one he ever got of her in her workplace element.

He memorised her face.

And then he left.

It took Jared until Friday to get his new yacht to its new home at the marina near the beach house. Five days of putting the craft through its paces and rediscovering the beauty of Australia’s eastern coastline as seen from the Pacific. Five days of the sun on his face and shoulders and the spray of the ocean sandpapering his skin.

There had been two storm fronts and he’d revelled in the challenge of them. He’d slept better for being tossed around and catching snippets of sleep whenever he could … far better than he’d slept in any bed lately—with the exception of the bed he’d slept in with Rowan.

He’d slept after she’d tied him up and slaked her thirst for him and his for her.

He’d slept heart to heart and skin to skin with her name on his lips.

Her name was still echoing in his head and in his heart, deep in his psyche. Altering his perceptions. Changing his way of thinking about things. He’d left a message on her phone, telling her where he was going, what he was doing, and saying that he’d be in touch with her again once he’d docked. He’d invited her to the beach house, if she wasn’t doing anything this weekend.

He didn’t want to hear her say no. The little bird of hope in his chest just didn’t want to hear it. So he hadn’t rung again.

When he docked mid-morning on Friday, he didn’t interrupt Rowan’s work-day by calling. He let the little bird keep right on fluttering and called Lena instead, asked her if she wanted to meet him at the marina and take a look at their new purchase. He knew it for a token question because he knew full well she’d be there within the hour—her curiosity wouldn’t have it any other way.

If he was lucky she’d bring lunch.

She came by the swift red speedboat that Jared had forgotten she possessed. It had been a present from Trig, and Jared had got into trouble once for stealing it.

He smiled at the memory as Lena tossed a rope up to him with a cheerful ‘Looking good, brother.’

Lena looked beautiful and carefree, sun-browned and happy. She handed him a bright red Esky next, and then put her hand up for him to haul her aboard.

He laughed. ‘Wait for the ladder.’

‘I don’t need a ladder—just give me your hand.’

‘With my ribs? Hell, no. You look heavy.’

‘I’m a lightweight these days, I shall have you know,’ she protested. ‘My husband can carry me easily. You’re just getting careful in your old age.’

‘Had to happen some time. I’m also world-weary and jaded—and as of three days ago unemployed.’

‘Good thing you’re independently wealthy, then.’

He set the ladder over the side, and only when she’d reached the top did he offer his hand and some of his strength to help her board.

‘Nice,’ she said, looking around the little craft. ‘I thought you said it was second-hand?’

‘It is. Although I don’t think the previous owners ever actually sailed it anywhere.’

‘Good for them.’ Lena grinned. ‘Better for us.’ She headed for the hatch and leaned down to look inside. ‘Dear God, it’s mustard!’

‘It’s soothing.’

‘You’re joking.’ She started down the hatch. ‘Damon’s wife, Ruby, has the most amazing eye for colour. I say we let her loose on it.’

‘Isn’t she a little busy right now? With a baby coming?’

‘Okay, you’re right, I’ll do it myself. Maybe Ruby and the baby can help. You realise that I fully intend to be the mad aunt who leads that child astray every chance I get? He’ll have West genes to contend with—shouldn’t be too hard.’

‘He?’

‘Or she. I have no preference. I just want a beautiful healthy baby for them.’

‘You’re not—? You don’t—? I mean …’

He had no idea how to ask his next question, but Lena took pity on him.

‘Am I jealous?’ She nodded, but her wry smile held no bitterness. ‘A little. I’m kind of still coming to terms with the fact that no child will ever carry my blood, but there are other options. Adoption. Surrogacy. Even fostering. I met a twelve-year-old boy in hospital last year when I was there. He’s still there. The rest of his immediate family died in the same car accident that damaged his pelvis and legs.’

‘You want to take him on?’

‘Thinking about it. He’s a sweet kid. Never gives up. He’d fit right in.’

‘Does he have any other family?’

‘A grandmother on his maternal side who loves him dearly. But her resources are limited.’

‘Would she give him up?’

‘I don’t know that I’d even ask that of either of them. I’m thinking more along the lines of encompassing them both.’

‘Where does she live?’

‘Byron. That’s the beauty of it. She wouldn’t necessarily have to relocate. If we can show that between us we have all Tom’s rehabilitation, schooling, social and emotional needs covered we could bring him home from hospital.’ She shoved her sunglasses atop her head and fixed him with a penetrating stare. ‘What do you think?’

‘I think that if anyone can make it work, you can.’

He’d stood in front of the head of special intelligence only a few days ago and the older man, upon hearing Lena’s name, had questioned what she would bring to a team in her current state.

Heart. She would have brought that.

‘Management asked me to put together a black ops team the other day. If I’d have done so you’d have been in it. No—correction. I’d have asked you to be in it.’

Her smile faded.

‘I turned the offer down. Didn’t want it. Would you have wanted it?’

She looked at him for a long time and then slowly shook her head. ‘No. Once upon a time, hell yes. But, no—not any more.’

‘Then I guess I did the right thing.’

‘I guess you did.’

She studied him intently, as if she couldn’t quite get a good read on him, and it shattered him to know how closed-off he’d become these past two years—even to family.

‘So how does it feel to be free of it?’

He looked out over the ocean and thought of the days he’d just experienced. The stirrings of a new beginning in them … and a woman he’d never forget.

‘Feels good.’

Lena’s smile was blinding and her hug was fierce, and then she fell back and let him find his footing when it came to all the pesky emotions running through him.

‘Lunch? I need to investigate the mustard colour further. And the fittings. Bring the Esky.’

She disappeared down the hatch completely this time, and all he heard then was her voice—no visual to go with it—but it made him laugh regardless.

‘Seriously?’ Her voice had risen an octave. ‘You bought a yacht with purple floral curtains?’

‘Told you the owners weren’t sailors.’

‘Yes, but you’ve been sailing this poor wee boat for how long? And you haven’t yet taken them down yet?’

‘I’ve been preoccupied.’

He hadn’t actually registered them as offensive—just unnecessary—and with the absence of anywhere to toss them … He started down the steps and found half the curtains and their strings already on the ground.

‘You’d better not be touching my half. I like them.’

‘You do not.’

The rest of them were down before he even had the food on the bench and his sister stood, hands on her hips, surveying the interior of the yacht—which admittedly seemed much brighter now.

‘Much better. I’m even warming to the mustard leather. At least the walls are white.’

Not everywhere. ‘Bedrooms are that way,’ he said with a tilt of his head—and waited for her reaction.

She looked. ‘Oh, for the love of— Someone skinned a spotted cow and draped it all over your bedroom.’

‘You mean your bedroom. I took the other one.’

‘Oh, no. No way. She who paid her half first gets first choice of the bedrooms.’

She opened the door to the other bedroom and Jared didn’t have to wait long at all for her screech.

That bedroom had purple and mustard walls with black and white hatbox trim. And a lime-green shag pile carpet. The second bedroom was awesome.

‘This isn’t a yacht—it’s a sideshow palace,’ she said, turning to flick him a quick grin. ‘I can’t believe you bought it.’

‘It had been on the market for a while. Do you love it? I love it.’

‘We’re getting Ruby in. This is beyond me. I know my limits.’

There were a lot of limits in place these days. Many of them learned the hard way.

‘She sails well,’ he said of the yacht. ‘Like an angel.’

‘What a good girl. Does she sail now?’

And that was how they ended up moored off Green Island, swimming from boat to beach, later that afternoon.

Lena lay in the shallows, content to be buffeted by gentle waves. Jared sat next to her and wondered at the inner peace that he’d somehow found between one day and the next. Walking away from his job. Sleeping with a woman he’d connected with on a level that had left him wrung out and craving more.

‘What do you think of Rowan Farringdon?’

Lena lifted her head to look at him. ‘In what capacity?’

‘For me.’

Long black lashes swept down over her sister’s eyes. ‘Well, she’s not dumb.’

‘But?’

‘Is it even possible for someone in her position to have a decent relationship? A sharing and caring one, with someone who’s not involved in that world any more?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Is that the kind of relationship you even want?’

He shrugged and she splashed him with water—a great swathe of it, driven by her outstretched arm.

‘You need to get in touch with your feelings,’ his sister told him.

‘Says the woman who spent ten years ignoring her own feelings, when it came to who she loved.’

‘So I’m slow? Not exactly a newsflash.’

‘You’re not slow.’

It was an old scold that went way back to when schoolwork had come so easily to him and his younger siblings but Lena had had to work hard for every mark she received. She’d despaired of her inadequacies, and sometimes she still did.

‘Wash your mouth out.’

She grinned at him, more mermaid in that moment than human soul. ‘I missed you,’ she murmured. ‘I’m glad you’re back, and I’m selfish enough to like the fact that you’ve quit a job that would have swallowed you whole. I like it that you’re finally showing more than a passing interest in a woman, even if I’m not entirely sure she’s going to be able to give you what you need.’

‘What do I need?’

‘Someone who can be there for you the way you’d be there for them. It’s a big ask. Because I know full well the lengths you’ll go to for the people you love.’

Jared stared out over the blue sky and the darker blue of the ocean. ‘I like her. There’s something about her.’

‘So keep me posted?’

‘That’d be telling.’

‘Yes.’

He didn’t have to turn to see the smirk on her face.

‘Yes, it would.’