Читать книгу Deeply Loved - Keri Wyatt Kent - Страница 9

DAY 9

ALONE

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Simon and his companions went to look for him, and when they found him, they exclaimed: “Everyone is looking for you!” (Mark 1:35-37 NIV)

The wooden structure clinging tenuously to the back of our house is a sorry excuse for a deck. Some of the boards are spongy. The railing does not resist when you pick at it with a fingernail—fragments soft and splintery come away. In one corner, a bright green moss spiked with red stamens grows next to a grease stain from the grill.

Still, this crumbling platform is a sanctuary. Especially on a fall morning, when the sun plays in the curtain of weeping willow branches along the fence line, and the squirrels chatter as they chase one another along the intricate paths of the small wood behind the house. Far off, I can hear the whir of traffic noise, muted by the birdsong that fills the trees a few feet away.

Here, on this rustic, rotting deck, peace finds me, noses my hand like a dog insisting on being stroked. I jot notes in a journal on my lap. Coffee steams strong and fragrant in a well-used mug on the picnic table. I escape, if only to a spot a few feet from my family and the endless household chores that demand my attention. My only goal is to find a piece of quiet, a few moments’ respite before plunging headlong into my day as a working mom.

I open my Bible, read just a few verses. Ask Jesus to meet me here, in the quiet. I begin to pour out my heart, listen for his gentle whispers. I make a list in my journal of three things I’m grateful for. I open my hands to let go of my demands for an “experience,” open my heart to his loving presence.

Silence fills my soul; solitude replenishes me. But it slips away as members of my family, in the kitchen making lunches and breakfast, call through the screen door to ask me questions, or venture out with permission slips or other paperwork they need me to sign.

Like Jesus, I’m sought out by people who seem ready to say, stern and accusing, “Everyone is looking for you!”

Jesus, pursued by the needs of others, spent time alone. In the face of ministry demands, he did not charge ahead but retreated, if only to steal a few moments in prayer. Solitude, time alone with his Father, fortified his soul, strengthened him to meet the demands of healing, teaching, and, ultimately, of suffering.

Imagine that you have a friend who is married but who never really spends time with her spouse. (For some of you, you don’t have to imagine—you know people like this. Or even, this is the reality of your busy life.) Whether it’s the kids’ schedules, working different shifts, or just a slow and steady drift apart, they rarely talk, and then only to communicate details about who’s doing what. Imagine, then, that this married person often complains that although she knows that her spouse loves her, it’s hard to feel that love, to know it deep within.

What advice would you give this spouse, longing to feel the love of her husband? Hopefully it’s obvious: in order to feel more connected, this person needs to spend time with her spouse. It’s that simple. Sit down on the couch and talk about your day. Go for a walk and talk about your dreams. Go golfing or sailing or enjoy some other activity together. Make love. Just be together!

What is true of human relationships is true of our relationship with Jesus. In order to “feel” connected to him, we must spend time with him. Intimacy requires time spent one-on-one with the lover of our souls. Solitude is simply one-on-one time with Jesus, where we talk, we listen, we walk quietly side by side.

Introverts are drawn to solitude. Even so, carving out time to simply be still takes effort and intention. Actually scheduling time alone and guarding that time requires strong intention. To bridge the gap between our desire and our actions, we must shut off the phone and outside distractions, get to a quiet place, and meet with him.

Extroverts find challenge in even wanting to be alone. Their desire is buried deep and must be extricated with the promise that solitude is actually a time of connection—with God. Because they often hear God through the voice of other people, this practice is a stretch for extroverts—and yet essential if they are to avoid unhealthy dependence upon others.

Regardless of personality type, Jesus calls us to walk with him, to listen to him. He calls us to ignore the clamor of the needs of others, if only for a little while, so that we can be with him. Solitude is the place we can receive without distraction all our Jesus wants to give us. By simply withdrawing from the noise and stimulation, we can be deeply loved and know it well.

PRESENCE PRACTICE

Set aside one hour within the next twenty-four—your lunch hour, perhaps, or early tomorrow morning. Block it out as you would an important appointment so that if someone asks if you’re available, you can say that magical word that leads to growth: “no.”

During that hour, do whatever is necessary to be alone. You may have to leave your house or your office. Getting to a place where you can truly be alone may require some effort. For this particular practice, avoid places like coffee shops, where you can easily run into someone or be interrupted.

Bring along only your Bible and a journal or notebook. While solitude can be spent in a variety of ways, today you are simply being with God.

Turn off your phone (and all other electronics). Years ago, people walked around without phones on their hips and they survived. You can too.

Begin by simply sitting still. You may want to pray a very simple prayer like “I’m here, Jesus.” Or “Come, Lord Jesus.” You may want to sit with your hands in your lap, palms up, as a posture of surrender and openness.

If you feel your mind racing to your to-do list or a particular worry, spend just a few moments writing down those concerns on a piece of paper or page from your journal. Imagine handing that paper to Jesus, for him to hold for you while you visit with him.

Read Luke 5:16 and Mark 1:35 and notice how Jesus spent time in solitude. Read these scriptures slowly, noticing the word or phrase that strikes you. Think about Jesus: What obstacles did he face? What purpose do you think he had in being alone?

If they come to mind, pray about specific concerns, but for the most part, simply let yourself be quiet. The Bible tells us God is present everywhere—but we often are unaware of him. In the stillness, ask Jesus to make you aware of his presence.

What does it feel like to simply be still? Do you feel uncomfortable with the silence? Be assured that Jesus is quite comfortable in silence and that he loves it when you simply rest in his presence.

Check here when you have completed today’s Presence Practice.