Читать книгу The Complete Regency Season Collection - Кэрол Мортимер, Кэрол Мортимер - Страница 31

Chapter Nine

‘I demand to know where you are taking me,’ Georgianna insisted even as she accepted Hawksmere’s hand to aid her in climbing inside the ducal carriage.

Hawksmere waited until she was seated before climbing in behind her and sitting on the seat opposite as the door was closed. His expression was as grimly forbidding as it had been this past hour, since he had informed her she would be leaving Hawksmere House at the same time as he. ‘Somewhere you will be safe.’ He turned away to look out of the carriage window as it moved forward.

Georgianna had no idea what to expect from Hawksmere after her revelations to him earlier in the bedchamber. She had waited nervously as he went exceedingly quiet, restlessly pacing the room, so deep in thought he seemed almost to have forgotten she was there. Zachary had then come to an abrupt halt and instructed her to repack her bag and be ready to leave within the hour, before he had then departed her bedchamber.

There had been very little for Georgianna to repack. The things she had originally taken with her to France had all, apart from what she had carried in her reticule, been left behind when André took her to the forest outside Paris with the intention of killing her.

The Bernards had later provided her with a couple of worn gowns left behind by their daughter when she went off to marry her French soldier. And Georgianna had added two more gowns to that meagre wardrobe with the wages she’d earned at the tavern. She was wearing one of the only two sets of undergarments she possessed. As she had last night worn one of her only two nightgowns. Otherwise she had no other possessions.

Consequently she had spent most of that hour sitting in a chair beside the window, worrying about what Hawksmere intended to do with her now. As his final words had implied, he intended doing something.

‘Is there such a place?’ she prompted softly now.

Zachary turned back to look at her, his expression unreadable beneath the brim of his beaver hat as he answered her. ‘I believe so, yes.’

Georgianna gave a pained frown. ‘Is it your intention to foist me off on to one or other of your close friends? Perhaps that was the reason for Wolfingham’s visit to you this morning?’ she asked heavily.

Zachary now had cause to regret many things in his life. The nature of his marriage proposal to Georgianna Lancaster certainly being one of them. But the cruelty of his distrust of her these past two days, in light of the things she had revealed to him this morning, the terrible scars he had seen upon her body, and no doubt a reflection of the scars she also carried inside her, by far and away exceeded any previous regrets.

And Georgianna was as yet unaware of the worst of the cruelties of which he was guilty.

Once she did know then her disgust with him, her hatred of him, would no doubt be complete.

Zachary had consulted with no one on the decision, the change of plans, he had made in regards to what he should do with Georgianna when he left for France. He took full responsibility for that decision. And he challenged anyone to question him on it. If they dared.

As far as he was concerned, Georgianna had suffered enough. For her naïveté in regard to love, for her youthful belief and trust in a man who had used her and then attempted to kill her. Damn it, as far as Rousseau was concerned, he had killed her.

As Zachary now wished to kill Rousseau.

His hands clenched on his thighs with the need he felt to encircle the other man’s throat and squeeze until no more air could enter Rousseau’s lungs. To make him suffer, as Georgianna had surely suffered. First, by her humiliation in the man’s duplicity. Then by being shot and left for dead. Regaining consciousness days later, only to find she was blind and in terrible pain. And then the months spent in Paris after that, and still fearing for her life. The latter because of her loyalty to England. A loyalty Zachary had distrusted and mocked her for, again to the point of cruelty.

Zachary was heartily ashamed of his harsh behaviour towards Georgianna these past two days. For having disbelieved her. For taunting her. And for then having made love to her, as if she were no better than that whore she had earlier denied being.

He could only try to make amends for those wrongs and hope that Georgianna might one day be able to forgive him.

And Rousseau deserved to die for his treatment of her.

Zachary intended seeing that it happened. Before too many days had passed, if he had his way. And he would. Because, in his eyes, Rousseau was no more than a rabid dog in need of being put down. Not for his loyalty to Napoleon, but for using an innocent, such as Georgianna had once been, to achieve his ends. For attempting and believing he had killed her when she was of no further use to him.

None of which helped to ease the burden of what Zachary now had to reveal to Georgianna, before then watching the hatred and contempt that would burn in those beautiful violet-coloured eyes towards him.

He drew in a long, controlling breath. ‘I am taking you to your brother at Malvern House.’

Georgianna sat forward with a start, her face paling beneath her black bonnet. ‘You cannot.’ Her eyes were wide in her distress. ‘Zachary, how can you be so cruel as to humiliate me further, by having my own brother turn away from me? I told you the truth earlier. I showed you.’

‘There will be no humiliation, Georgianna.’ Zachary sat forward on his own seat to reach out and grasp both of her tiny gloved hands in his, knowing it was possibly the last time she would allow him such familiarity. ‘There will be no humiliation for you, Georgianna, and your brother will not turn away from you,’ he assured evenly, ‘because there was no scandal.’

She stilled at the same time as she blinked rapidly to hold back the tears now glistening in her eyes. ‘I do not understand,’ she finally murmured huskily.

And Zachary had no wish to tell her when he knew it would result in those beautiful eyes hardening with hatred for him. But his behaviour towards Georgianna this past two days allowed for no mercy being given on his own behalf. He deserved no forgiveness from her, no mercy. For any of the things he had said and done to her.

He released her hands to sit back against his seat as he looked across at her between narrowed lids. ‘The notification of the ending of our betrothal appeared in the newspapers only a week after it was announced.’

Guilt coloured her cheeks. ‘I expected no other.’

‘That announcement stated,’ Zachary continued firmly, ‘that Lady Georgianna Rose Lancaster had decided, after all, against marrying Zachary Richard Edward Black, the Duke of Hawksmere.’

‘But that is not what happened!’

‘It also stated that it was your intention to retire to the Malvern country estate for the remainder of the Season,’ Zachary completed determinedly.

Georgianna now looked at him with wide, disbelieving eyes.

‘Your father died in a riding accident only a month later,’ Zachary continued evenly, ‘at which time it was decided between your brother Jeffrey and myself that he would announce that you both intended to remain secluded at Malvern Hall for your time of mourning.’

She swallowed. ‘What are you saying?’

Zachary drew in a deep breath before answering softly. ‘That there was no scandal. As is acceptable, you were the one to end our betrothal and since then it is believed you have been living quietly at Malvern Hall with your brother.’

‘How can this be?’ Georgianna gave a dazed shake of her head.

The duke moved restlessly. ‘Your father, brother and I discussed it after it was discovered you had eloped with Duval, or Rousseau, as he was later discovered to be. It was your family’s hope that you would be found and returned before—well, before any harm might be done to your reputation and without any but the close family, and myself, being the wiser for it.’

Georgianna’s cheeks became even more flushed in acknowledgement of the harm to which Hawksmere referred. ‘And you agreed with this decision?’

Hawksmere’s mouth tightened. ‘Yes.’

‘Because such an announcement lessened your own humiliation?’

His mouth thinned. ‘No doubt that was part of it,’ he allowed drily. ‘But I hope I also thought of you, and your family, in that decision. I am not a vindictive man, Georgianna,’ he assured evenly as she now looked at him blankly. ‘No matter the impression I may have given to the contrary these past two days,’ he acknowledged heavily.

Georgianna did not believe Hawksmere’s behaviour to have been particularly vindictive towards her. She knew that she had fully deserved his anger, for her having eloped with another man so soon after the announcement of their own betrothal, causing him embarrassment. As she also deserved the distrust Zachary felt in regard to her return, when he knew that the man she had eloped with was actually a spy for Napoleon.

But this? Having allowed her to continue to think, these past two days, that she was unforgiven by her father and a pariah to her brother, the only family she had left in the world, as well as ostracised in society, was another matter entirely.

She frowned. ‘Does no one in society know of my elopement with André?’

Hawksmere shrugged. ‘A few may have guessed at the truth of the matter, but none knows for certain.’

‘Then I am not shamed? Or ostracised?’

‘No.’

‘And does my brother know I shall be returning to him today?’

‘I sent him a note earlier informing him so and have received confirmation back from him, yes,’ Hawksmere added softly.

‘And does he welcome me back, despite knowing of my past behaviour?’

‘He holds Rousseau completely responsible for past events.’

‘Then I may return to my brother, my home, into society, without fear of rejection?’

A nerve pulsed in the tightness of Hawksmere’s jaw. ‘Yes.’

‘And you have known this since we met again yesterday, known how much it pains me to think of my father’s disappointment in me, to be estranged from Jeffrey? And yet you have continued to let me believe...’ Georgianna did not even take the time to consider her next action, merely reacted, eyes glittering angrily as she lifted her hand and stuck Hawksmere across one hard and arrogant cheek.

Zachary had seen the angry spark in Georgianna’s eyes, had noted the lifting of her gloved hand and guessed her intent. He’d made no attempt to avoid the painful slap she administered to the side of his face. Knowing he deserved it. That he deserved so much more than a single slap.

So, yes, let Georgianna slap him. Again and again, if that was her wish. Zachary would neither protest nor attempt to stop her.

‘You are truly despicable!’ Georgianna now glared across the width of the carriage at him. ‘A despicable, unprincipled bastard! Oh, yes, Hawksmere,’ she declared scornfully as he raised surprised dark brows. ‘I assure you, I heard far worse than that during my months of working in Helene Rousseau’s tavern. And you—you deserve to hear every one of those words for the way in which you have deceived me.’ She blinked back the tears as they now blurred her vision of the arrogantly superior face across from her own.

‘Perhaps we should take them as having already been said?’ Zachary excused himself gruffly.

She gave an impatient shake of her head, her hands clenched together. ‘I have spent months in despair of ever being able to see or speak to my brother again. Of ever seeing my home again. Of knowing that all in English society shunned me. This past few days of believing I would never be able to visit my father’s graveside and beg his forgiveness. A despair which you might have spared me, if you had a mind to do so. If you had a heart with which to do so. Which you so obviously do not,’ she added coldly.

Zachary had no defence against Georgianna’s accusations. He knew he was guilty of everything she now accused him of. Except perhaps the latter.

It was true he had offered for Lady Georgianna Lancaster ten months ago because he needed a wife and an heir before his thirty-fifth birthday. It was true also that he had been more annoyed than concerned at the inconvenience when she had eloped with another man. As he had no doubt also agreed with Malvern’s solution to that problem, as a way of saving himself deeper humiliation, as much as he had Georgianna’s reputation.

But he had not really known Georgianna at that time. Had seen only that plump pigeon, whom he’d decided would make him a suitable and undemanding wife, and a mother for his heirs.

The Georgianna with whom he had spent so many hours these past two days was not only a beautiful woman, but one for whom he knew he had felt a grudging admiration even before she had revealed the extent of the scars she bore, as evidence of Rousseau’s betrayal of her.

She was also a woman for whom Zachary felt desire every time he so much as looked at her.

Even now, with her looking across at him with such contempt, Zachary was aware that his body pulsed with that same desire beneath his pantaloons.

Perhaps not as proof that he did indeed possess a heart, but enough so that Zachary knew he felt regret for the wide chasm that now yawned between the two of them. Fuelled by the dislike and contempt Georgianna now felt towards him.

His expression was grim as he nodded abruptly. ‘I deserve each and every one of your accusations.’

She eyed him scathingly. ‘That was never in any doubt.’

‘No.’

Georgianna frowned her frustration with the calmness of Hawksmere’s acceptance of her anger. What she really wanted was for him to mock or taunt her, as he usually did, so that she might have the satisfaction of slapping him again.

At the same time she felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She could see her brother Jeffrey again. Could go to Malvern Hall and visit her father’s graveside and offer him her apologies for her behaviour the previous year. Could return to Malvern House if she wished. Take part in the upcoming Season, too, if that was what she decided to do.

Not that she intended telling Hawksmere of any of the lightness and elation she felt; his contemptuous behaviour towards her this past two days did not deserve to be forgiven, or forgotten, so easily.

At the same time as Georgianna knew she could never forget his lovemaking of earlier this morning.

Having believed her to have been André’s mistress for several weeks, at least, Georgianna might have expected Zachary to show contempt for her during their lovemaking. Instead he had been poetical in his appreciation of her body. Giving, even gentle, in his caresses, as he introduced her to a pleasure she had never imagined, let alone experienced.

But beneath all of that appreciation and gentleness Zachary had been keeping the secret that she was not in disgrace, after all, Georgianna reminded herself, impatient with the softening of her emotions towards him. Which surely must make him every inch that bastard she had just called him?

‘Again, I owe you my heartfelt apologies, Georgianna.’

She looked sharply across at him, unsure what he was apologising for. For not telling her before now that she was not in disgrace in society? Or for the intimacies of this morning?

Zachary sighed heavily as Georgianna made no response to his apology. ‘Except, of course, I do not possess a heart,’ he acknowledged evenly. ‘In which case, I will instead offer you my sincerest apologies. For having wronged you and hurt you these past two days.’

Deliberately. And without remorse. Each word was like the lash of the whip across the flesh on his back.

Georgianna looked across at him uncertainly. ‘And is that supposed to excuse your behaviour?’

‘No,’ Zachary answered heavily.

‘To make you feel better, perhaps?’ she added scornfully.

He gave a humourless smile. ‘If it was, then I assure you it has failed miserably.’

She raised haughty brows. ‘I trust you will understand when I say that I am glad of that?’

How could he have ever thought this young woman was just a plump and malleable pigeon to be taken to the altar, impregnated, and then left forgotten and languishing on one of his country estates?

Even without her terrible experiences of this past year, he very much doubted that Georgianna would ever have been that malleable wife he had deliberately sought, and expected. If he had taken the time and trouble to get to know her, then he would have realised she possessed far too much spirit, was too emotional, to have ever settled for just being his ignored duchess and the mother of his heirs.

A spirit that was now denied him for ever.

Georgianna, quite rightly, would never forgive him for having deceived her. For deliberately allowing her to think she was still in disgrace. For imprisoning her. For making love to her.

‘I understand, and completely accept, the anger you feel towards me.’ He nodded abruptly just as the carriage drew to a halt outside Malvern House. ‘Would you like me to come in with you or would you prefer to reconcile with your brother alone?’

Georgianna felt extremely nervous now that they had actually arrived at Malvern House, the same house she had always lived in whilst in London. The house where her brother Jeffrey now awaited her.

Her brother would be nineteen now and already he had been the Earl of Malvern this past nine months. Without benefit of even his sister to support him, with only that guardian, an elderly friend of her father’s, to guide and help him.

‘Georgianna!’

She was given no more time for those regrets, or the insecurity of wondering if Jeffrey really would be pleased by her return, as the carriage door was flung open and her brother himself hurtled inside the carriage before pulling her into his arms.

Georgianna gave a sob as she clung to Jeffrey, totally overwhelmed by the eagerness of his greeting, and being with someone she loved and who obviously still loved her. It had been so long since anyone had held her so tenderly, so unconditionally. Hawksmere’s lovemaking did not count when she knew his motive had been revenge for her past misdemeanours towards him.

Zachary felt the unaccustomed sting of tears in his own eyes as he witnessed the emotional reunion between brother and sister. Jeffrey with his usual youthful enthusiasm, Georgianna crying with joy as she clung to the younger brother she obviously adored and had missed so much.

A reunion that Zachary could have allowed her much sooner than this, if he’d had a mind to do so.

Georgianna might never forgive him for that, but Zachary knew he would never forgive himself, either. Or for any of his behaviour towards her these past two days.

Behaviour for which he would happily have got down on his knees and begged for forgiveness if he had thought it would do any good!

He raised a hand to the cheek that still stung from where Georgianna had slapped him just minutes ago. A vehemently delivered slap he had fully deserved.

As he deserved the tearfully accusing gaze she now gave him over her brother’s shoulder.

Jeffrey was the one to finally pull back as he continued to beam down at his sister. Their colouring was similar, both were dark haired and blue eyed. ‘Perhaps we should take this reunion into the house? Join us, Hawksmere?’ Jeffrey prompted lightly as he glanced at Zachary.

Zachary saw the flash of resentment in Georgianna’s eyes as she remained tucked beneath her brother’s protective arm. ‘I think not, thank you, Jeffrey. I have several other things in need of my attention this morning.’ He excused himself.

The younger man frowned his disappointment. ‘I thought you might at least come in for a few minutes?’

Zachary bit back his impatience. ‘As I said, I have other things to do today.’

‘I am sure we have taken up enough of Hawksmere’s valuable time, Jeffrey,’ Georgianna exclaimed without so much as a glance in the duke’s direction.

‘I did not think.’ Jeffrey grimaced. ‘Of course you are busy. But perhaps you would like to join us for dinner later this evening?’

‘Jeffrey.’

‘That will not be possible, I am afraid,’ Hawksmere drawled over Georgianna’s alarmed protest.

She blinked. ‘His Grace is leaving.’

‘For my country estate later today.’ Once again the duke rudely spoke over Georgianna, his eyes flashing a reproving silver as he gave her a pointed glare. Evidence that Jeffrey was not one of the people privileged to know of Hawksmere’s activities for the Crown.

Georgianna felt the warmth of that rebuke in her cheeks as she lowered her gaze. ‘Of course.’

‘Thank you for returning my sister to me.’ Jeffrey grinned his pleasure at the older man as he held Georgianna close to his side.

Hawksmere nodded abruptly. ‘I believe you will find that it was Georgianna who has returned herself to us all.’

She looked up at him sharply, searching that hard and arrogant face for some indication of Hawksmere’s signature sarcasm and finding none. Instead he gazed across at her guardedly, as if unwilling to reveal his emotions. Which, no doubt, he was.

She straightened before speaking formally. ‘I trust you will have a safe journey, your Grace.’

‘As do I,’ he drawled before turning to Jeffrey. ‘I will be in touch when I return to town, Malvern.’

‘We shall look forward to it, shall we not, Georgianna?’ Jeffrey beamed enthusiastically.

‘Of course,’ Georgianna concurred softly, purposefully not looking at Hawksmere, knowing she would see only mockery for her there, both of them aware that if they never saw each other again it would be too soon for either of them.

And yet...

Once Georgianna had alighted from the carriage and begun slowly walking up the steps to Malvern House beside her brother, she was aware of a feeling of discomfort as she heard Hawksmere’s carriage move on down the cobbled street. Of feeling slightly bereft at not knowing when, or if, she would see ever him again.

She was angry with him, yes, as her slap to his cheek had demonstrated. But what if he did not return from France? She was not angry enough, did not dislike him enough, to never wish to see him again.

Georgianna came to a halt on the top step into Malvern House before turning to gaze after Hawksmere’s carriage, catching a brief glimpse of his profile inside the carriage as it turned the corner before disappearing from view.

‘Are you well, Georgianna?’

She turned to find Jeffrey looking down at her with concern, his eyes bluer than her violet-coloured ones, his boyish face having grown handsome, chiselled, this past year. No doubt from his added responsibilities as Earl of Malvern. ‘I am very happy to be home, thank you, Jeffrey,’ she assured him warmly.

‘You looked a little wistful for a moment. We shall see Hawksmere again very soon, I am sure,’ he added reassuringly. ‘He has become a regular visitor at Malvern House these past few months.’

‘He has?’ Georgianna looked up at her brother curiously as the two of them entered the house together, warmly accepting the butler’s beam of pleasure and kind words at seeing her returned to Malvern House.

Jeffrey nodded. ‘I have found his guidance invaluable these past months.’

‘But what of your guardian? I would have thought that he would have been your mentor rather than Hawksmere?’ Georgianna handed Carter her bonnet and gloves.

‘Perhaps we should discuss this in the library,’ Jeffrey requested before turning to the butler. ‘Lady Georgianna and I would like hot chocolate and crumpets beside the fire, if you please, Carter.’

Georgianna’s heart melted at the reminder of the way in which she and Jeffrey had passed many an afternoon together in the schoolroom when they were younger. ‘Oh, yes, please, Carter.’ She squeezed her brother’s arm as they walked companionably to the library. ‘It is so good to be back with you, Jeffrey,’ she spoke emotionally once they were seated opposite each other beside the warmth of the fire.

Her brother sat forward, looking quite the dandy in his blue superfine and high-collared shirt. ‘And you will tell me all about your adventures in a minute,’ he promised. ‘But first, did Hawksmere not talk to you of our guardian?’

‘He mentioned that you have one,’ Georgianna answered carefully, not sure of exactly what Zachary had told Jeffrey in his note in regard to when, how and why she had returned to England.

‘We both have one, the same one, until we are both one and twenty,’ Jeffrey corrected ruefully.

Georgianna’s eyes widened. ‘But...’ She had a guardian? After all she had been through this past ten months, the independence, the decisions she had been forced to make for herself, she now had to suffer having a guardian until her birthday in three months’ time? ‘Who is it?’ she demanded as a terrible foreboding began to wash over her.

Jeffrey grinned. ‘Hawksmere, of course.’

That was the very answer Georgianna had begun to suspect, and dread.