Читать книгу Weddings Collection - Кэрол Мортимер, Кэрол Мортимер - Страница 34

Kevin climbed down off the ladder to survey his work. His mind wasn’t really on the wall he was painting, except in the most perfunctory of ways.

They’d been steering clear of each other.

Not an easy matter since he was still coming over to work on the house.

Having finished the exterior, he was now busy painting the rooms themselves. Because June hadn’t expressed a preference for any particular color, he’d made the decision for her. He’d painted the walls a light shade of icy-blue, using white as an accent whenever he could. The house was slowly going from oppressively dreary to bright and cheery.

The same couldn’t be said of their relationship. Whatever conversation might have existed before had now disintegrated into short sentences populated with fleeting, monosyllabic words. Not wanting to press, he’d taken his cue from her, thinking that June had either decided to regret what had happened between them or was trying to work her way through her ambivalent feelings regarding her father’s appearance and Yearling’s desire to make amends any way possible.

In any case, she was reacting to Kevin as if he were some kind of stranger, not a man she’d made love with. He wasn’t sure just how much more he could take in tolerant silence.

June was gone more than she was there. She was either working in the field, working in the barn or going to town to talk to her relatives.

The one thing that was clear was that she didn’t want any part of him.

It put a whole new light on things for him as to his thoughts about actually relocating here and starting up a transport service for Hades. As he’d mulled it over, the latter actually began to sound like a good idea in his opinion.

But his motives weren’t so grounded in rock.

With a sigh, he retired his paintbrush, leaving it horizontally perched across the mouth of the paint can. Initially, the idea of investing his time and money in a business here had to do with being close to his family. Lily had been gone from Seattle only a short while, and although they hadn’t exactly lived in each other’s pockets, they had gotten together a couple of times a week. He would either come to her restaurant, or Lily would drop by the house. The fact that lately the only time he heard her voice, or any of their voices, was when he picked up a telephone to call didn’t really sit well with him. He was and always had been, first and foremost, a visual person. Sight figured in quite prominently with his required family hit. That meant relocating here.

But if he were being honest with himself, the real reason he’d begun to explore this business possibility was June. Running a transport service would give him a good excuse to interact with her. After all, the planes were going to need a regular mechanic and June didn’t seem completely wedded to the idea of the farm. Oh, she was working hard at it for the moment, but he suspected that was because it wasn’t in her to do anything else, even if she wasn’t really committed to the idea of making farming her calling. June wasn’t a woman who believed in half-measures.

Woman.

His mouth curved in a smile tinged with surprise as well as a bittersweet feeling. That was the first time he’d referred to her as a woman, not a girl, in his mind. Maybe he was losing his grasp on the age thing as a stumbling block.

Heaven knows he certainly couldn’t think of her as a girl anymore. Not after the other day. First time or not, she’d been all woman in his arms.

And he ached for her.

He wiped his hands on the cloth that was hanging from his back pocket. Without the protective shield of ageism to hide behind, it hit him with the speed of a bolt of lightning. June was, quite frankly, everything he’d ever wanted in a woman.

In bed and out.

But it was the out of bed that was now the problem.

Age might not be a factor, but there were other things in the way now. Predominantly the barriers she was throwing up between them. Maybe he’d been too convincing in his initial arguments about being too old for her and she’d finally decided to believe him.

Or maybe there were other demons she was wrestling with.

In either event, he had to decide whether to remain here and try to make her come around, or just leave her be and accept the fact that maybe this was one of those things that wasn’t meant to happen.

He sighed, wadding the cloth up and pushing it back into his pocket. June had been right about one thing. He did have a tendency to overthink things.

Surveying the room slowly to see if he’d missed any spots, Kevin decided that he was finished with the living room. Time to call it a day. He’d already done the two bedrooms earlier this week. That only left the kitchen, but that could be for another time.

Right now, he wanted to get a little more information about the costs of running the kind of venture he’d been toying with. If it turned out to be prohibitive, that could call a halt to his planning right there. He only had as much money to work with as he’d made by selling the taxi service.

There were other ventures, of course, other things he might be able to do here, but maybe that was just pushing things that weren’t meant to be pushed.

Pulling off the T-shirt he’d put on before beginning to paint, he slipped on his regular shirt and headed out the door.

“Have you decided to start that transport service yet?” Max uttered the question by way of a greeting as he stopped by the sheriff’s office later that afternoon.

Kevin took the seat he indicated on the opposite side of the desk. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you know about that.”

“Know about it?” Max laughed. “People haven’t been talking about anything else since the subject came up.” Thanks to his grandmother, he added silently. “They’ve taken to thinking of you as their second messiah. You’d be opening up a whole new world to them,” he added frankly. There were still citizens, although not too many, who had lived their entire lives within the confines of Hades, never having even ventured out to sample what the rest of the state, much less the country, had to offer.

Kevin didn’t want people getting ahead of themselves, especially since he was still very much on the fence about the project. “This is only in the planning stage.”

“Most people are hoping you’re planning on doing it.” Max stopped rocking back in his chair and leaned forward, peering at his future brother-in-law’s face. “You are, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know yet. I like having all the information in before I decide to make a move.”

There was a lot to be said for that method. And even more for flying by the seat of your pants, Max thought. He turned to the small desk against the wall behind him and poured two glasses of lemonade.

“That kind of thing might make a man move slower than molasses,” Max pointed out. He looked into the older man’s eyes. “Sometimes you can’t wait for all the information, because it doesn’t always come in. Sometimes, you’ve got to make a move without it.”

The conversation seemed to be taking place on several levels. “Are we still talking about planes?”

Max moved the glass of lemonade toward his guest. “We could be.” He raised his eyes to Kevin’s. “We could also be talking about other things.”

Kevin took a long drag of his drink, not realizing how thirsty he was until he’d started. “June?”

Max inclined his head. “Among other things, yes. I’ll be the first one to tell you that she’s a handful and she’s got this one mood she gets into that makes storm clouds look cheery, but those she loves, she loves fiercely and she’s got a good heart.”

He’d already sensed that about her. That and more. “You don’t have to sell me on her.”

Max studied his face. There was something going on, something he didn’t quite have a handle on. “Then what do I have to sell you on?”

“Why would you want to sell me on anything?”

“Because I like you, Kevin,” Max told him quite simply. “Because you’re family in more than just the legal sense of the word. And because Hades needs good people like you.” He paused, studying the bottom of his glass, knowing his younger sister would kill him for this next part if she’d overheard him. “And because June needs a good man.”

He was flattered. At the same time, he wished that this wasn’t a group operation. What went on between him and June, or didn’t go on, was strictly his business. His and June’s. “Don’t you think it’s up to her to decide about that?”

Not being in the middle of a relationship allowed Max to see things more clearly than either of the two participants. He’d already learned that from his own affair with Lily.

“The way I see it—” he wiped away the sweat ring the glass had formed on his desk “—she has. This thing with our father showing up has thrown her for a loop, thrown all of us, really,” he amended, “but more so June because she was the one most deprived of our mother after she died. June adored our mother, and to be shut out that way wounded her more than any of us suspected. Somebody’s got to see to the scars, to helping them finally heal.” He grinned slightly as he looked up at Kevin. “I hear you’ve got some medical training.”

Kevin shook his head. “Only what I’ve picked up in books. Jimmy’s the doctor in the family,” he reminded Max.

“Which he wouldn’t have been if you hadn’t put yourself out there for him. And for Alison and Lily.” Max folded his hands before him as he looked intently at Kevin. “I know exactly the kind of man you are, Kevin. Your reputation, thanks to your brother and sisters, came here long before you did. You’re the kind of man June needs. Don’t give up on her.”

That said, he switched topics as he leaned back, nursing the lemonade. “Have you talked to the Kellogg boy yet? He worked for Trans-state before he came back here.”

Grateful for the shift, Kevin nodded. “I saw him and talked to Shayne and Sydney just to get a feel for all this.”

“And?” He must have arrived at some kind of conclusions, Max thought.

Nothing had changed from the time he’d walked in. “And I’m still thinking. I need to get a few ballpark figures going before I move on to the next step.”

Max nodded. He supposed that was only reasonable. It wasn’t so much the transport service that he was concerned with, although that would be, in and of itself, a good thing. It was having Kevin committed to something that forced him to remain here.

“Take all the time you need—as long as you come up with the right answer.”

The phone rang just then. Max set aside his glass. “I’m going to have to take this.”

Kevin was already on his feet. “And I’ve got to get going, anyway. See you in church.” There was a rehearsal set for tomorrow night. The wedding was on Saturday.

That didn’t leave much time to make up his mind he thought as he left the sheriff’s office.

Finishing up early, her conscience nagging at her, June aimed her vehicle back toward the house, hoping to catch Kevin before he left.

She’d been horrible to him these past few days and he didn’t deserve it. But she’d been so confused inside. Having her father turn up this way had brought it all back to her.

The pain, the sorrow. The determination.

She’d sworn to herself that she was never going to be like her mother. She was never going to give any man the power of life and death over her heart. Never be weak.

She was going to be strong. Like April.

But April had found someone, a good someone, and gotten married. And, from all she could glean, her older sister was incredibly happy. Happier than she’d been before she’d married Jimmy.

Her grandmother never seemed to be without some kind of male companionship, not in all the years she could remember. She was pretty sure that the woman was going to wind up letting Yuri wear her down and agree to marry him. All of her marriages, according to Ursula Hatcher, had been on her terms and much too short, cut down in their prime by acts of providence.

Two happy women versus a woman who had lost her heart, her mind and her will to live because she’d loved the wrong man.

How do you know when the right man comes along? Her mother had thought her father was the right man and she’d been horribly wrong.

Approaching the house, she saw that Kevin’s car was gone. A sadness swept over her. She felt as if she was driving the last few yards in slow motion, without a purpose.

What did she expect? She hadn’t exactly been the Wicked Witch of the West toward him, but no one was going to see him rushing to stuff the ballot box to nominate her as Miss Congeniality, either.

With a sigh, she got out of the Jeep and walked into the house. The emptiness mingled with the scent of fresh paint, making her stomach tighten in a knot.

She wasn’t a coward. Why was she letting the idea of loving someone throw such fear into her?

Damn it, why couldn’t she have had a normal childhood? Why couldn’t her father have loved her mother enough to stay, instead of leaving and breeding a measure of insecurity into all of them?

The front door opened and closed. She was out of the kitchen in less time than it took for the sound to register in her brain.

Kevin.

The knot loosened. A smile climbed up from the center of her being until it adorned her face and lit up her eyes. She could feel it forging a path.

“I didn’t expect you back.”

He was surprised to find her here. She usually didn’t get back until later. “I didn’t expect to be back.” Kevin scanned the room and saw what he was looking for. Moving around her, he crossed to the scarred, wobbly piece of furniture that served as a coffee table. “I forgot my wallet.”

She smiled almost shyly. “Good thing you weren’t pulled over for speeding.”

Kevin paused after he slipped his wallet into his pocket. Signals were coming at him he wasn’t sure what to do with. “That’s the first smile I’ve seen on you all week.”

Another man would have been sarcastic. What the hell was the matter with her, running from someone like Kevin? “I’m sorry, I’ve had a lot to think about.” She flushed, finding her way through the field of land mines, otherwise known as an apology. “I know I haven’t been very good company lately.”

“You haven’t been any company lately.” Not the kind to dwell on offenses, he offered her an easy out if she wanted it. “I’ve seen you maybe a total of fifteen minutes since I made dinner for us the other night. I know I’m not as good as Lily, but I’m not bad enough to scare you off that way.”

“No.” She pressed her lips together, feeling more awkward, more exposed that she was accustomed to. “You’re not.”

He peered at her face, trying to read between the lines. “But I did scare you off.”

She hated the word when it was applied to her. She was supposed to be fearless. The term mocked her. Supposed to be. “What?”

“You didn’t contact me,” he pointed out. “I scared you off.” Maybe he had moved too fast that day. She’d come home, literally shaken and vulnerable, and what had he done? He’d made love with her and probably compounded her problem. “Look, June, I never meant to hurt you—”

“Hurt me?” Now he really had lost her. “What are you talking about?”

“If I’d known that you hadn’t—”

She suddenly realized what he was trying to say. “You think I’ve been acting like such a jerk because we made love?”

“I wouldn’t exactly say jerk—”

She cut him off, laughing shortly. “Call a spade a spade, Kevin. We do up here. I’ve been in a really bad mood and it’s because—” It was hard for her to lay her soul bare, even to someone she cared about. “Because I don’t know if I’m coming or going right now.”

He’d missed her, he thought, missed her the way plants missed the sun. “Do I get a vote in your direction?”

She could feel that smile taking root again. “That depends.”

Kevin tilted her head up, to look into her face. “On what?”

“On whether it’s the right one.” She wasn’t the kind who asked for anything, afraid that it would someday come back to bite her. But this was Kevin. Kevin, who opened up a whole myriad of feelings inside her that she had never felt before. Kevin who was good and kind and not a thing like her father. “If I asked you to hold me, would that be very offensive to you?”

“Offensive?” Of all the words she could have used, that was the least likely to match what was going on inside him right now. “Pleasurable, yes. But offensive?” He shook his head slowly, his eyes holding hers. “No, can’t say that’s the feeling that would be going through me.”

The moment his arms closed around her, June felt she’d come home again.

The next step came naturally. He lowered his head and kissed her.

Her body heated immediately. Everything she’d been wrestling with these past few days—her situation, her feelings about her father, about Kevin—all of that faded into the background. Elbowed quickly out of the way by the urgent needs that were suddenly running rampant through her, as if they’d been hovering in the wings, waiting for the first sign of weakness within her.

But this wasn’t weakness, it couldn’t be. Because even though her knees felt like dampened cotton balls, the rest of her experienced an incredible surge of power flowing through her.

Her breath grew short in her lungs as anticipation took hold. She couldn’t wait to rid herself of the cumbersome barrier of clothing that kept her from him.

Kept him from her.

Her fingers felt as if they were getting in each other’s way. Buttons refused to leave their holes. She suddenly felt clumsy.

“Hey, steady,” he laughed softly, staying her hands as they began tearing away at her clothes.

“Are you laughing at me?”

There was hurt in her voice. “Enjoying you, loving you, but never laughing, June, never laughing,” he assured her.

His lips glided along her face, her throat, making her ache inside. A wildness that hadn’t been there the first time threatened to leap out of her veins.

“Let me,” he urged softly.

His words barely registered on the edge of her consciousness. And then she felt his hands on her, peeling away her clothing. Peeling away the thin fabric of any resolve that might have been lingering, getting in the way.

He was right.

This was better. Much better. His undressing her heightened the anticipation that poured through her, making it fill every inch of space within her.

She returned the favor, mimicking his movements, spreading her palms out along his chest, his taut belly, dipping her fingers beneath his waistband before undertaking the final step of drawing his jeans away from his body.

Kevin could feel blood pounding through his body, echoing the drumming of his heartbeat. He threaded his hands through her hair, wrapping his fingers through the silky strands. “You pick up things quickly.”

“I always have,” she murmured against his mouth.

They never made it to the bedroom.

With the strong scent of paint still lingering all around them, they found a haven right there beside the scarred coffee table, on the throw rug that Max had given her as a housewarming gift.

She could feel the imprint of the weave pressing itself into her bare flesh as she moved in a rhythm that Kevin created for her.

The rug crumpled beneath her fingers as she clutched at it, absorbing the sensation of Kevin’s mouth as it wove a moist path along her body. Leaving none of her untouched.

Reducing her to a mass of palpitating ashes.

She was barely conscious of sweeping her fingertips along his bare body as he did impossible things to her, evoked impossible responses.

It was even better than the last time.

How was it possible to improve on perfection?

She didn’t have an answer to that, but he was doing it. Making her crazy. Making her glow. Robbing her of the chance to turn the tables on him because she hadn’t the strength to turn over a match, much less her own body in order to straddle him.

She could only give herself to him and reap in the pleasure from the act.

Over and over again, he’d taken her to the edge and then teasingly, dramatically, pushed her over until she was certain that she couldn’t register another feeling, another climax.

But she was wrong.

He came to her. His eyes were filled with an emotion she hadn’t seen before, one that made her feel daring and safe at the same time. She arched her hips toward him, borrowing strength from some bank in oblivion.

When he entered her this time, there was no pain. There was only comfort. And unspeakable joy.

It echoed in the way she gasped his name as she sealed her body to his.

And silently gave him her heart.