Читать книгу The Family Album - Kerry Kelly - Страница 6

"Hello."

“Hi, it’s Julia.”

“Hey, Mouse.”

“Do not call me Mouse.”

“Sorry, hey, Moose.”

“Nice. Loser. So … guess what?”

“What?”

“You will NEVER guess who is here right now.”

“Who?”

“Like not in a million years!”

“I’m hanging up now.”

“No, wait. It’s Jennifer.”

“Jennifer who?”

“Jennifer Jennifer, Stepmother Jennifer.”

“What?”

“She is, like, sitting in the front room. With MOM.”

All of a sudden Matthew was listening, though he had no idea what his sister was talking about. “What’s Dad doing there?”

“No Dad,” said Julia, triumphant now that she had her brother hooked. “Just Jennifer. Abby’s not even here.”

“What are you talking about, Jules? Why would Abby be there?”

“Oh my god, haven’t you heard? It’s like insane, Matt … like bizarre-o land insane.”

“What’s insane?”

“Abby has, like, started coming over here so Mom can teach her to write or something.”

“Excuse me?”

“I don’t know, so she can just follow in your footsteps and write the great Canadian novel or whatever. It’s idol worship gone to extremes. Its ridiculous.”

“What?” Julia now had his full attention, something that had probably not been the case since the mid-nineties.

“Matt, that is not EVEN the weird part, okay? So, like, I come home from school and walk in the door and there they are in the living room, like, having tea or whatever. And so I’m like ‘hey.’ And Jennifer’s like ‘Hello, Julia,’ all nonchalant and everything, and Mom’s just looking at me, all smiley and stuff, but, like, not a real smile, and so I’m like ‘Ab’s in the kitchen?’ cuz it’s not even her day to be here or whatever and they are both like ‘no.’ And so now I am thinking ‘oh no, what have they got on me’? But they don’t say anything else, like, not a word, so I’m like ‘okay’ and nod like it’s totally not weird that they are both just hanging out drinking tea, even though they’ve never done it before. I’m guessing maybe it’s Ben who’s in for it and then Mom’s like ‘The tea’s ready in the kitchen’ as if we are normally, like, super tea drinkers or something, and I was just like ‘I’ll pass’ and got the hell out of there. So that’s, like, totally weird, isn’t it?” Julia asked, as it seemed she’d run out of air.

“Yeah. That is pretty weird. ”

“I know, right? So Mom’s just like ‘hey you ruined my life but let’s all just hang out together now?’ So weird.”

“Mom said that to her?”

“No, of course not. I’m just saying it to you. Jeez, Matt, I just said I didn’t hear them say anything. You don’t listen.”

“Well, it’s hard when you speak in a pitch only dogs can hear.”

“Oh shut up…. It is super strange, though. Like what would those two have to talk about?”

Matt couldn’t imagine what his mother and stepmother would be talking about if it weren’t some misadventure of Julia’s. And he could not picture his little sister hanging out at his mother’s house. So, like most men of his age, he simply stopped trying.

“Yup.”

“I mean not normal at all. Like super strange,” Julia repeated as if to convey that Matthew was not responding adequately. “It’s like Marilyn having tea with Jackie or something.”

It annoyed Matt that his sister, who even he could admit was super bright, now seemed only capable of making references that involved celebrities. And her excessive use of the word “like” had started to give him a headache. She sounded like a moron.

“Yes, it is, like, crazy, psycho, insanely weird. Okay, I’m going to go.”

“But don’t you think it’s …”

“I have to run, Mouse, I have class.”

“Don’t call me … Matt, it’s Saturday. What class do you have on Saturday?”

“It’s called introduction to I no longer care about this conversation.”

“Oh ha ha. Screw you.”

“Screw you,” Matt replied, hoping to use it as his goodbye, but like the Energizer bunny, she just kept banging that drum.

“But it’s weird, right?”

“Yes, like I said, really weird.”

“Don’t you want to know why she’s here?”

“Are you going to go and ask?”

“Oh yeah, right, I’ll just waltz in there and be like, ‘what are you doing here?’”

“Well, get Ben to find out. She likes him.”

“He’s not here.”

“Well then, wait till after and ask Mom.”

“Seriously, Matt, I am going to go ask the mom about the stepmom. You are super dim sometimes.”

“Says the straight-A student talking like reality TV star.”

“Why are you so … so, like, you don’t even care about the drama going on downstairs? That is just like you Matt, so selfish. Just because you are away now, it’s like you think don’t even have to care about stuff any more. I don’t know why you think it’s so cool to be so, like, emotionally distant.” Well, at least she still knew some big words.

“Okay, I have honestly not been paying attention to anything you’ve said in the last minute or so, and there is nothing that I can do about this situation, which is maybe none of our business, so and I’m going to hang up now. I know, screw me.”

“No wait … how can you say it’s none … oh never mind, I think I hear Ben. Maybe he’ll be of some use. Okay, I’m going to talk to him about it. I’ll keep you posted.”

“Awesome.”

“You’re an ass.”

“Bye.”

Matt dropped the receiver and slumped back into his chair, exhausted. A phone call with his sister these days was like having a conversation with a chipmunk. And she really was getting dumber-sounding every time he talked to her.

“Who was that?” Matt’s roommate called from the living room, without the slightest pretense that he hadn’t been listening to the whole conversation. Privacy wasn’t really an expectation one could hold in an apartment the size of a shoebox. But Matt had wanted to study on the west coast, so a shoebox was all he could afford. “Sounds serious.”

“Nah, that’s just the way we talk. She’s all tweaked out because my stepmom’s over at my mom’s place.” Matt would not normally have bothered to respond to Kevin’s question, but he found himself wandering over to the door. As Julia had pointed out, ad nauseum, it was pretty weird.

“Oh damn, she in trouble?”

“No. I don’t think so. She doesn’t know. It’s just a little odd since the two of them are not really friendly … not even civil. The whole old wife, new wife thing, you know how it is.”