Читать книгу The Art of Crisis Leadership - Kevin Cowherd - Страница 11

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The Unrelenting Surge of Community Pushback, Hon

Denise Whiting was a strong, accomplished woman who found herself desperate for help when she called Fallston Group during the hot Baltimore summer of 2011. I took her call that particular evening from an ice cream parlor parking lot in Long Beach Island, New Jersey, near one of my favorite fishing holes. I could immediately sense the pain and despair in her voice.

A successful restaurateur in the quirky, blue-collar Baltimore neighborhood of Hampden, her life had turned upside down over time and was reaching an unmanageable stage.

Now, her chest hurt so badly that she was afraid she’d suffered a heart attack. Without warning, she would lapse into crying jags that left her feeling shaken and vulnerable.

She feared for her life, going so far as to sleep with a shotgun under her bed, not knowing if her bad dreams in the middle of the night were reality or not.

What had happened to cause such anguish to this otherwise stalwart and proud businesswoman?

Simply put, she’d been blind-sided by a crisis, with a root cause that appeared almost laughable—if the consequences weren’t so dire.

Her sin?

As the owner of the popular eatery Cafe Hon, a fixture on 36th Street in Baltimore since its opening in 1992, Whiting had dared to trademark the term “Hon” in order to protect her business interests.

Based on the advice of legal counsel, she’d been doing this for years, acquiring the rights to the term for restaurant services, retail services and T-shirts sold at her Hon boutique next door. Many other businesses had engaged in similar moves.

But “Hon” was a beloved local colloquialism—a cheerful term of endearment used by seemingly every waitress and hairdresser in town for decades. And once the media got hold of the story in late 2010—Who is this selfish, greedy woman ripping off a cherished piece of Bawlmer culture?—the backlash was swift and unrelenting.

Whiting’s initial explanation of why she had trademarked Hon—and her first halting apologies about causing such a fuss—drew ridicule. Even though Whiting explained that she was merely doing what every sharp business person does—protecting her business interests through trademarking—she didn’t realize the regional ire this move would provoke. Soon, protestors were demonstrating outside her restaurant holding signs that said “HONicide: Life on 36th Street” and “You Can’t Trademark our Culture, Hon.”

Yes, the community was pushing back—hard.

It didn’t end there. She was bullied and threatened on social media, particularly on two Facebook pages called “Boycott Cafe Hon” and “No One Owns Hon, Hon.”

In addition, she was blasted on the pages of City Paper and The Baltimore Sun. Sun columnist Dan Rodricks slammed her for a “crass effort to own a Baltimore regionalism,” adding “Hon isn’t unique to Denise Whiting, no matter how special she wants us to believe she is.”

One lunatic Whiting hater even took to popping his head into Cafe Hon during business hours and screaming “NO ONE OWNS HON!” Not exactly a soothing accompaniment to a nice meal.

Her fellow merchants on “The Avenue” had also turned against her. And there was talk of a boycott of HonFest, the annual Whiting-founded homage to Baltimore women of a bygone era who favored beehive hair-dos, cats-eye glasses and housecoats. HonFest was a financial boon to the area. Tens of thousands of people attended this event on an annual basis. Now Whiting was being accused of changing the vendor rules, mainly with her request that Cafe Hon retain exclusive rights to the sale of cats-eye sunglasses.

Clearly, Denise Whiting’s world was unraveling with astonishing speed.

Her business was tanking because of all the negative publicity. She had to lay off staff and withdraw $60,000 from her retirement fund to meet payroll. And the personal toll was devastating. She was hurt, humiliated and exhausted beyond measure.

“I contemplated suicide,” she recalled. “I was so devastated. I remember standing in my bathroom and thinking: ‘I could just end all this.’ Because I couldn’t take it. And it wouldn’t go away. Everything I spent my last 21 years working on (was) now just non-existent.”

My role as a crisis leadership expert was to quickly earn her trust, instill a sense of confidence and give her hope that there was a way out of this terrible mess. I had to be strong—for Denise and those that depended on her and the business.

The bottom line was that Denise was in a bunker and was refusing to come out, at least metaphorically speaking. Cafe Hon was no longer a safe haven, as folks would come into her restaurant during business hours and yell profanities.

Contributing to her problems was the fact that Denise was making no public statements about the Hon trademark and HonFest issues. She was not controlling the message or being heard. She was the neighborhood outcast and no one cared what she had to say.

Instead, the media, business community and assorted haters in Hampden and elsewhere were telling her story for her. It was a classic example of a lesson I’ve preached for years: “If you don’t tell your story, someone else will. And when someone else tells your story, it won’t be the story you want told.”

The story they were telling about Denise was simple: she was a classic villain. She was a latter-day Cruella Deville, sneering at the offended sensibilities of the good citizens of Hampden.

She was the Grinch Who Stole Hon.

But after speaking extensively with Denise, I saw a different side of this person I’d read and heard about. I saw a genuine, deeply-wounded person who needed help. Denise hated the isolated life she was now forced to endure. And she didn’t know how to navigate her way out.

We needed to change the “villain” narrative in a hurry and humanize this good person. At the same time, Denise had to become stronger and embrace the skepticism.

Our first order of business was to develop a core messaging and media plan, focusing on key points Denise would convey in answering reporters’ questions.

A few examples:

Q: Why trademark the word Hon. Do you own it?

A: As in any industry around the world, each business must protect its brand and ability to operate. It is a common and sound business practice embraced by many. (Business perspective was important as Denise was merely doing what every sharp business person does, man or woman).

Q: By trademarking Hon, did you steal something from Baltimore?

A: Not at all—we are sound business stewards for the term. Our business goal is to keep the term in its rightful home: Baltimore. No one owns the rich traditions of the city—we only embrace them for a period of time before we pass the baton to the next generation. If the term is not trademarked, anyone could move to own it and take it from our city.

Q: With the negative reaction to the trademark, why don’t you just give it up?

A: Cafe Hon has been in business for nearly 20 years and I plan to continue to operate here in Baltimore for years to come. If we give up legal protection of the term “Hon” for restaurant services, retail services or T-shirts, we expose the business and all that we have worked for. Again, the legal goal is solely to protect the business interest, not restrict speech or make others feel as if they cannot use the term in conversation. Others may decide to trademark the term who will not keep it in Baltimore.

The strategy was similar with the Cafe Hon website and the various digital platforms where she was being hounded. This was where the real conversation was occurring, not on the marble stoops that real Baltimore Hons still lovingly scrubbed with soap and water each weekend.

Denise had been avoiding everyone, paralyzed with uncertainty over what to do. We urged her to respond and be present, to tell her story with authenticity and meaning. We had to work on Denise’s confidence and build her inner conviction—the same determination she relied on to build her business as a single mother during the previous two decades. It was there, we simply had to light the fire again.

We also needed to deal with the very aggressive, hostile and malicious group of people who were bullying Denise and wanted to see her fail at every turn. These were people who enjoyed kicking others while they were down. They basked in other people’s problems.

Should Denise Whiting have made the business decision to trademark “Hon?” Maybe, maybe not. It didn’t matter. It was a business decision that was largely misunderstood by the populace. And now it was a toxic issue ruining her business and personal life.

Clearly, she wasn’t an axe murderer or criminal who preyed on the vulnerable. So did the perception that she stole the term “Hon” warrant all this backlash and behavior? Absolutely not. It was a mob mentality at its worst, people operating on the streets and social media platforms with a high degree of anonymity. Denise wasn’t challenging it because she was beaten down and scared.

One of the leaders of the anti-Whiting bullies was a young man who stalked and harassed Denise, both in-person and online. He also pasted Hon stickers with a slash through them everywhere in Hampden. (This was the same charming individual who would bolt into Cafe Hon when it was packed with diners and scream.)

In my view, this type of behavior was absolutely intolerable. While he may have disagreed with Denise’s business tactic, it gave him no right to break the law and try to instill fear and intimidation into her life and those around her. I convinced Denise to go to court—in fact, I went with her—to obtain a peace order and set a court date, severely restricting the man’s access to her. He ended up writing a letter of apology and swore never to be around her again. To this day, he has not been a factor in her life.

My philosophy on bullying is simple: sometimes you’ve got to punch the bully right in the nose—at least metaphorically—so everyone gets the message that you’re not going to take it anymore. In other words, this type of behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. This was our figurative right cross to the bully’s snout. Denise began to feel more and more confident—she had a team on her side that didn’t fear confrontation.

The bottom line with bullies: start by very assertively expressing that their tactics won’t be tolerated. If it continues, hold them accountable by any lawful means possible—progressive discipline, police reports, criminal court, civil court, etc. Make no apologies for criminally or civilly pursuing those who hurt others or destroy property.

I also accompanied Denise to several merchant association meetings attended by other business owners, managers and elected officials. They, too, were protesting and balking at her business posture. Again, we strongly encouraged Denise to tell her story and face the music so she could control her message at the grass-roots level, rather than letting everyone else do it for her. Denise was carefully scripted and rehearsed—this was no time for missteps.

It was uncomfortable for her. But our goal was to bring people from negative to neutral about Denise, not to make them advocates—although we would gladly take that. We needed to take the edge off the issue and restore Denise’s “humanity.” Denise had chosen not to attend these important meetings in the past; however, with each meeting, she grew more confident in her ability to defend her position.

In addition, we set up security details with the Baltimore Police Department to watch her and her business at HonFest. That was where the majority of activity was occurring. The threats and actions against her were becoming more aggressive. Not to sound overly dramatic, but you never knew who was going to do what to get their proverbial 15 minutes of fame and become the “community hero.”

Still, we urged her to celebrate HonFest and do what she had always done, just a little more cautiously and with a few more plain-clothes police officers near her. Bullies want to see their victims change their behavior—it gives them a feeling of power and control. We were determined not to let that happen.

If you’re strong and exhibiting professional behavior, you send the clear message that you won’t be intimidated. This deprives bullies of their self-anointed heroism and takes away their control.

Within weeks of working with Denise, I saw her gradually becoming physically and mentally stronger, a much more confident person, and a more focused and determined leader. She was becoming resilient again.

I knew she was that under normal circumstances. After all, she had survived in a cutthroat business for many years. I just happened to become part of her life at her lowest point and was grateful to have the opportunity to gain her trust while aligning her mind, body and spirit so she could run her business and lead her life.

During our engagement with Denise, she was contacted by “Kitchen Nightmares.” This was the FOX network reality television show starring chef Gordon Ramsay that purports to revitalize troubled restaurants.

I talked to Denise about whether or not it was smart to have Cafe Hon featured on the show, encouraging her to take advantage of the national opportunity on many fronts. Ultimately, she decided it was a way to put the whole trademarking “Hon” issue behind her.

“If nobody will listen to me when I say I’m sorry,” she said, “maybe they’ll listen when I do it on national television.”

Ramsay and his crew arrived that November. The chef immediately set about jazzing-up what he saw as Cafe Hon’s ho-hum menu and décor. He also helped tamp down the increasing tension developing between a harried Denise and her staff, which, understandably at the time, felt both mistreated and ignored by their besieged boss. What we learned by working with Denise was that her team wanted to be heard and validated. They loved the brand, but had very real concerns about their futures.

Ramsay, like me, seemed equally concerned about the dreadful PR hit Denise continued to take within the community.

“There was a level of hatred that was almost untouchable,” Ramsay told the media. “I’ve never known a restaurant to have such a huge issue.”

I had been encouraging Denise for weeks to consider relinquishing the trademark rights to “Hon,” thinking it was not worth all the pushback she was getting from all sides. Ultimately, I felt Denise would “win” in the court of law, but lose in the court of public opinion as the community continued rendering verdict after personal verdict, week after week. And if she lost in the court of public opinion, who cared about the court of civil law—there would be no business!

In the days that “Kitchen Nightmares” filmed at her restaurant—and after speaking with Gordon Ramsay—Denise arrived at a similar epiphany. So one morning, with Ramsay in tow and the FOX cameras rolling, she went on a local morning radio program to finally announce the surrender of her “Hon” trademark.

“I am sorry for the animosity and the hatred and everything that trade-marking a word has done,” Whiting told listeners, sounding almost numb. “. . . (It) has not only almost killed me, but it has just about killed the business.”

After almost a year of turmoil and controversy, Denise Whiting’s long ordeal was finally over. By the time she and Ramsay held a press conference later that day at the sparkling, renovated Cafe Hon, with its leopard-skin banquettes and bold wall decorations, she sounded both relieved and hopeful for the first time in months.

“I had the first good night’s sleep I had in a year,” she said, smiling wanly for the cameras, a villain in Hampden no more.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

1 Earn the trust of your client, quickly. When first interacting with a person embroiled in crisis, understand they are very fragile and must be emotionally supported. They don’t know whom to trust and are searching for hope in an otherwise hopeless circumstance; at least that’s how it seems to them.

2 Be painfully honest and direct. What people in crisis need is someone who will not sugar-coat the problem, but clearly explain the navigational fix. Once a person in crisis understands the situation with clarity, the rebuilding process can begin. Earn the trust of those who depend on you by operating with absolute precision and clarity. There is no better trust builder than truth.

3 Be available all the time, at any hour. Those feeling the pain of crisis will want to talk when they feel lonely or vulnerable—many times, this will be early morning or late at night. It is imperative you be there for them—otherwise, you will quickly become irrelevant and lose the trust you so diligently worked to gain.

4 Bullies don’t get a free pass—hold them accountable. Make bullies retreat to their corner of the world. Make no apologies for holding others accountable. People who are broken from crisis depend on you, as a crisis leader, to fight for them because they can’t fight for, or protect themselves, any longer. Sadly, many in this world prey on those who are down for personal gain—notoriety, financial, relational and otherwise. Understand the unique motivations of the bully and hit him or her where they are most vulnerable. What many don’t understand is that court documents and proceedings in most cases are public record. Should the bully find himself or herself in court, quite often a spouse, employer or other meaningful person or entity will discover the bully’s transgressions. Often, the thought of “silver bracelets” has a way of deterring even the most brazen bullies, who only seem to have a backbone when their friends are cheering them on. In the most severe cases, when there may be a mental health issue at play, use every lawful means necessary to protect yourself and your business. Most bullies retreat when they realize the proverbial “kid they steal lunch money from” knows how to fight back, because you, as a crisis leader, are now in their corner.

5 Control your message. Like many in difficult situations, Denise became overwhelmed and didn’t know how to manage the court of public opinion, traditionally or digitally. As a result, all of the “haters” spoke for and about her, unchallenged. And when the drumbeat of negativity or rumor persists without balance, the fictions become fact. It is imperative to quickly control your message from the onset of any crisis. In this digital world, anyone can broadcast an opinion quickly, with conviction. You must do the same, with credibility and balance!