Читать книгу Modern Romance January 2020 Books 1-4 - Кейт Хьюит - Страница 21

‘AREN’T YOU HAPPY?’

Laughing, Mia tickled Ella’s tummy as her daughter grinned and giggled back at her. They were sitting on a blanket in the villa’s garden, enjoying the warm spring sunshine. It had been two weeks since Mia had come to Italy, and she was finally starting to relax into this strange and amazing new life of hers. She just wasn’t sure whether she could trust it…or Alessandro.

He’d been a model of kindness and consideration since she’d arrived; she couldn’t fault him for that. The first night he’d arranged for Alyssa to watch Ella while they’d had a candlelit supper out on the terrace, eating delicious food, drinking fine wine, and enjoying each other’s company.

And Mia had enjoyed his company… Alessandro had kept the conversation light and sparkling, without any of the heavy issues that seemed poised to drag them down.

She’d even enjoyed the heat she’d seen in his eyes when she’d appeared, having changed into one of her few dresses that fitted her post-pregnancy figure, and when he’d taken her hand, butterflies had risen in a swarm from her stomach to flutter through her whole body and send her senses spinning.

It would be so easy, she’d reflected, to let herself fall. To forget her worries, her fears, her choices. She could just gently bob along on the overwhelming sea that was Alessandro…

And then what?

Fear had knotted in her stomach at the thought. She’d pictured her mother, looking so worn out and defeated, the wedding album open on her lap.

‘He was so charming, Mia. So forceful and yet so caring. I fell for him hard… I loved him…’

No matter how many times she told herself Alessandro was not like her father, Mia knew, from both his behaviour and his admission, that he was man who liked to be in control. And that would always be a cause for alarm and even fear.

At the end of that candlelit dinner, Alessandro had brushed a gentle kiss across her lips, like a whisper of a promise.

‘For now,’ he’d said, and there had been so much intent in his voice that Mia had shivered. It had taken all her strength not to sway into that kiss, not to ask for more. Plead, even, and that scared her along with everything else. She wasn’t ready…and she didn’t know how long Alessandro would wait.

A fortnight on, Mia still slept alone and Alessandro did no more than kiss her goodnight. The kisses had become a bit more lingering, and last night Mia had found herself clutching his lapels, on her tiptoes, straining for more before she’d finally had the strength of will to wrench herself away.

Alessandro had smiled wryly as he’d cupped her cheek. ‘Why are you fighting me so hard, cara?’ he’d asked gently.

Because I don’t know what else to do. How to be. I’m afraid of giving you everything and you taking it. What will happen to me then?

Mia hadn’t had the courage to say any of it, and so she’d just shaken her head and backed away, her body trembling from Alessandro’s touch. And he’d let her go, but they’d both known, if he’d wanted to, he could have made her stay.

‘Hello to my two gorgeous girls.’ Smiling, Alessandro strolled across the lawn to meet them, dropping a kiss on Mia’s head before sitting down next to her and tickling Ella’s tummy just as she had done. ‘She seems happy.’

‘Yes, she’s very smiley this afternoon.’ Mia glanced at him, feeling shy and overwhelmed as she so often did when in his magnetic, compelling presence. He was dressed casually in dark trousers and a grey polo shirt that brought out the silver in his eyes, his hair gleaming blue-black and ruffled by the warm breeze. The sandalwood scent of him still made her senses reel. ‘Have you finished your work already?’

‘Yes, but I need to go to Rome tomorrow morning, for a few business meetings, as well as a charity ball in the evening.’ Alessandro had been working remotely from the villa, with just a few trips to various cities across Europe. Mia wondered how long he could keep such a pattern; he was a very busy, powerful man, with many demands on his time. Surely this idyll couldn’t last…and part of her craved a relief from the tension of being with him, even as another part knew she would miss him.

‘I think we’ll manage to keep ourselves busy,’ she said. Over the last few weeks she’d had a few forays into the market town for trips to the shops, and also a baby group that met in a community hall. She was also hoping to start learning Italian, although Mia was wary of putting down too many roots. This still felt temporary rather than like real life, although perhaps that would change the more effort she made.

‘Actually,’ Alessandro said after a moment, ‘I was hoping you would come with me.’

‘With you?’ Mia was startled. ‘But won’t Ella and I just be in your way?’

‘Not Ella, just you.’ His gaze was warm as it met hers and lingered there with intent. ‘Just for the evening, so we can spend some time together. Alyssa can watch Ella.’

‘You want me to go to a ball?’

‘Why do you sound sceptical? We’ve been to one before.’

‘I know, but…’ Mia felt her cheeks flush as she remembered the last ball they’d been to…and what had happened afterwards. ‘I don’t have anything to wear.’

‘That’s easily remedied. I can have a stylist come with a selection of gowns.’

‘As you did before?’

He shrugged. ‘It’s not a problem.’

But it felt like a problem, because Mia wasn’t sure she was ready for a night out with Alessandro. Her already wavering defences might crumble completely…and then what?

It was the question that always rose to the front of her mind, popping like a bubble before she could answer it. If she stopped trying to protect herself, keep a safe distance, what would happen?

‘What are you scared of, Mia?’ Alessandro asked. ‘It’s just a ball.’

‘I know, but…’

‘We’ll be home before midnight, I promise. And Alyssa will enjoy taking care of Ella.’

‘It’s not that.’

‘Then what?’

He sounded so patient, even tender. How could she doubt him? How could she be so afraid? Mia knew she wasn’t being fair, holding back the way she was. Alessandro had been more than generous, more than patient with her. She needed to give something back.

‘All right,’ she said at last. ‘I’ll come.’

‘Good.’ He leaned forward to brush her lips with his, making her whole body tingle. ‘I look forward to it. I’ll arrange for the stylist now.’

As he left to make the call, Mia realised that, despite her reservations, she wanted to go. She wanted to dress up and walk into a ballroom on Alessandro’s arm, just as she had once before. She wanted to spend the evening—and maybe even the whole night—with him. Saying yes had freed her to admit to herself just how much she wanted him, despite her fear. It felt dizzyingly wonderful…as well as incredibly terrifying.

‘Here we are.’

Alessandro followed the bellboy into the penthouse suite of the luxury hotel by Rome’s Spanish Steps, Mia walking slowly behind them. Since leaving the villa—and Ella—she’d been quiet, even subdued, perhaps wary. Alessandro knew she didn’t trust him yet, but at least she’d agreed to come tonight. He hoped to prise her even more out of her shell tonight.

He’d spent the last two weeks trying to gain her trust, win her confidence, and slowly, ever so slowly, he’d felt Mia soften towards him, and he wanted to see—and feel—that even more tonight.

‘Wow.’ Mia stood in the centre of the large, luxurious living room, with French windows leading out to a wide terrace that overlooked the Spanish Steps. A platter of fresh fruit had been placed on a coffee table, along with bottles of champagne and sparkling apple juice. ‘But we’re not even staying the night…’

‘I own this hotel, and the penthouse is reserved for my exclusive use. I like to have a base while in Rome.’ He checked his phone. ‘The stylist will be here with a selection of gowns shortly.’

‘Will you need final approval, like you did before?’ she said, her voice teasing. Alessandro smiled, glad for the bit of banter.

‘I think I can leave that to you this time. I look forward to being surprised.’

‘All right.’ Mia glanced around the living room again, taking in the silk-striped sofas, the original artwork, the marble-topped tables. ‘This place really is amazing.’

‘I just want you to enjoy everything, Mia,’ Alessandro said. ‘This evening away is meant to be a break for you, although I know you’re worried about leaving Ella.’

‘I know it is.’ Mia rubbed her arms as if she were cold and then walked to the French windows, before opening them and stepping out onto the terrace. After a second’s pause Alessandro followed her, breathing in the balmy air as he joined her at the railing overlooking the city far below.

‘What’s wrong?’ he asked quietly. ‘This isn’t just about leaving Ella for a few hours.’

‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘It’s about…about us.’ She glanced at him, her face troubled. ‘You’ve been wonderful these last few weeks, I know. I can admit that.’

‘Admit it?’ Alessandro tried to keep his voice light, even though he was a bit stung by her words, the reluctance of them. ‘You almost sound as if you don’t want to.’

‘I don’t,’ Mia admitted. ‘It’s just… I’m scared, Alessandro. I told you I never wanted to marry or give my life over to another person. A man. And yet here I am.’

‘Yes, but…’ Alessandro had to feel his way through the words. ‘It doesn’t have to be something to resist, Mia. We were both in agreement, I thought, about what our relationship could look like. Companionship, trust, affection.’

‘And not love.’ She spoke flatly, making him hesitate.

‘Have you changed your mind on that?’

‘No.’ She sounded disconcertingly firm. ‘It’s just difficult to trust you.’

‘Have I ever done anything to make you distrust me?’ he asked, stung again by her honest admission. What had he done to make her so wary?

‘Not recently.’

‘What is that supposed to mean?’

‘You spend your life taking over other people’s businesses,’ she said after a moment. ‘And sometimes that feels like what you’re doing with me.’

Disconcerted, Alessandro did not reply for a moment. Yes, in his own mind he had compared his relationship to Mia in terms of a takeover, although perhaps a merger was a better way of putting it, but it wasn’t hostile. At least, it didn’t have to be.

‘I thought you’d agreed this was best for Ella. And I thought you’d enjoyed the last few weeks.’ He couldn’t keep an edge of affront from entering his voice. It was hardly as if he’d kept her in prison. ‘Please believe me, Mia, I am not trying to force you into anything.’

‘There are more ways to force someone than strong-arm them.’

‘What are you trying to say?’

‘I don’t know,’ Mia said helplessly. ‘Like I said, I’m scared, Alessandro. You can be ruthless. I know you like to be in control. I understand why you do, but those things scare me.’

‘I am hardly going to be ruthless with my family.’

‘How do you even know that? You’ve kept yourself from relationships for so long. Do you even know how to be in a family relationship, one that isn’t driven by anger or revenge?’

Hurt flashed through him at her words. ‘I can try,’ he said quietly, and her face crumpled a little bit.

‘Do you really want to?’

‘Of course I do,’ he snapped, but he heard the anger in his voice and he knew it was wrong. He just didn’t know how to show her how he felt. How much he felt. ‘I know I like to be in control. But I’m not dictating things to you, Mia. I’m trying to have a real relationship with you, even if I don’t understand yet all that it means.’ He felt far too vulnerable having admitted that much, and so he pressed his lips together and stayed silent.

‘I’m sorry.’ She smiled sadly. ‘And I need to try, too. I’m sorry I’m so reluctant. It’s just…’ She paused, and he waited, sensing she was going to say something more. But then she sighed and shook her head. ‘I’d better go and choose my dress.’ Her lips twisted wryly. ‘That’s at least one choice I can make.’

The stylist arrived a short while later, and Alessandro busied himself with work while the stylist and her assistants commandeered the bedroom for their beautifying purposes.

As he half listened to the sound of the women chatting in the next room, he found he could not focus on the work in front of him. He kept going over his conversation with Mia in his mind, as if testing it for weaknesses. Why was Mia so wary with him still? What more could he do to gain her trust? He felt as if she questioned his every motive, which made him question them, as well. Was he doing the right thing?

Of course he was. For Ella’s sake as well as theirs. He just needed to be more patient. Perhaps Mia just needed more time.

Still, he couldn’t keep from feeling a flicker of irritation along with hurt. He’d been trying so hard for the last few weeks, and he’d given Mia everything. What possible cause could she really have to complain? So he liked to be in control. That was hardly the worst thing, was it? It wasn’t as if he was abusing his position of power, or forcing her to do something against her will.

Her reluctance annoyed him, but it also made him even more determined. He would win her yet. Whatever aspect of their inevitable relationship Mia was resisting, Alessandro would discover it and deal with it.

Which, he realised uncomfortably, did make this all seem a bit like the takeover she’d suggested. But it wasn’t, not like that. It was just…strategy. Common sense.

He slid his hand into the pocket of his jacket, his fingers curling around the small black velvet box. Nothing, he told himself. Mia would find fault with nothing. He’d make sure of it.

An hour later, Alessandro had changed into a tuxedo and was waiting for Mia in the living room of the suite, trying to curb his impatience. It felt as if she’d been in the bedroom for ages, and he’d heard the chatter and giggles drift out as he’d wondered just how long it took to find a dress.

‘She’s ready,’ the stylist, Elena, sang out as she came into the living room, followed by her bevy of assistants. ‘And she’s perfect.’ She simpered at Alessandro before she thankfully excused herself, her assistants following, so Alessandro and Mia would be alone. He would be sent the undoubtedly outrageous bill later.

‘Mia…?’ Alessandro called when she still hadn’t come out after Elena had left. ‘Are you coming?’

‘Yes. Sorry.’ With a nervous little laugh, she stepped out of the bedroom. Alessandro sucked in his breath. He’d already seen her in an evening gown, a year ago, when he’d lost his head over the slender woman dancing in his arms.

Tonight he felt himself lose everything else. His mind emptied and his heart tumbled in his chest as Mia smiled uncertainly. ‘Do you…do you like it?’

‘I love it,’ he assured her huskily. The gown was a pale, creamy ivory, with a delicate overlay of gold lace. Strapless, with a full skirt, it reminded him of a wedding dress, and that seemed appropriate indeed. ‘Your hair…’ he murmured, coming forward to loop one golden curl around his finger.

‘She curled it,’ Mia said nervously. ‘I’ve never had curly hair before.’

‘It’s gorgeous.’ Half being pinned up, the other half tumbled over her shoulders in glossy, golden waves and curls. Gently, his finger still twined in her hair, Alessandro tugged her towards him. Mia came, a smile trembling on her lips.

‘Alessandro…’

‘You’re so beautiful, Mia. Even more beautiful now that you’re a mother.’

‘No…’ She let out an uncertain laugh. ‘I haven’t lost all of my baby weight…’

‘I don’t want you to. You’re perfect just as you are.’ He knew it sounded like well-worn flattery, but the truth was he meant every word. He wasn’t saying it to please her or to get what he wanted, as she so often seemed to suspect, but because he needed to. Because it was right, and it was the truth.

Which was why he had to kiss her, as well.

‘Mia…’ Her name was a question and as she moved closer, her silence was his answer. He placed one hand on her bare shoulder, her skin cool and soft beneath his palm. Then he brushed his lips across hers, softly first, another question.

And she answered again with silence, her mouth opening under his, a thousand times yes. Here was another truth, in the simple purity of their kiss, their lips joining together in a brief moment that spun on and on as Alessandro deepened the kiss, unable to keep himself from it, losing himself in her soft and willing response.

Mia clutched his shoulders as she anchored herself to him, to their kiss, and the world seemed to spin around them. It was just a kiss, and yet so much more. It felt like a promise as well as a seal.

Finally Alessandro lifted his head, breathing raggedly, dazed by the intensity of the moment. Mia blinked back at him, her fingers at her lips. Neither of them spoke.

Alessandro felt the weight of the black velvet box in his pocket, and he almost reached for it. Now was the perfect moment—and yet perhaps too perfect. The last thing he wanted was for Mia to think he was orchestrating the moment when in truth he’d been felled by it…as she seemed to have been.

So instead he left it where it was, and smiled at her instead. And, needing no words, he took her by the hand and led her from the room, out into the warm, spring night and the promise it surely held.